Back To Life
by Pokiepup
Summary: Lies, love and complication are always a given with these two but what happens when you throw in corruption, family issues, ghosts of tragic pasts and a serial killer? All human and told in POV.
1. Slippery Slope

_**Slippery Slope**_

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_**9:24 a.m.-Unknown**_

Hi, I'm Lauren-Hello, I am Doctor Lewis-Hey, Doctor Lauren-Sup, Doctor L.—

I can't help but laugh at myself looking away from the rearview mirror, God I could be an idiot sometimes.

Why was this so hard anyway, what did it matter what I introduced myself as?

It isn't as if I plan to become friends with them, as soon as they hire an assistant he or she will be doing the leg work which would mean I would see these people maybe once a month, so why am I sitting in my car feeling like this is my first day of school?

I bet it was all the '_make a good first impression'_ talk Kenzi was spewing at me last night. Girl could care less what anyone thinks of her but me, I have to become Jo-Jo the Dancing Monkey—I bet this is because she wants a cop buddy to wipe out all of those tickets she has accumulated.

"Excuse me?"

I jump at the sound of the voice or is it the knock on my window—probably both.

I flash him a quick smile and a little wave as I look down to my cluttered passenger seat trying to find my badge. Pushing my over-the-shoulder bag out of the way and several folders.

"Ma'am this is an active crime scene, you need to move along."

"I know, I know." I mumble under my breath flashing another forced smile over my shoulder before pushing my bag down onto the floor to get a better view. "AH HA!" under the very last folder it was hiding. Turning around and opening my door to which he almost looks threatened, hand resting on his weapon, little jumpy here I see. "Tricky little bugger." Another smile as I slightly wave the badge while stepping out of the car.

"You're forensics?"

"Medical examiner," I know I make a face which I'm sure earns me no points with him but then again it says it **right next** to my picture. "Do you know what we have?"

"I'm a patrol officer ma'am, I tape off the area." He says through a scowl and clenched jaw—must have been one hell of a face I made.

_Note to self: Work on controlling expressions. _

I give a little nod to which he responds with one that means '_fuck you,'_—I know it quite well.

So far this first impression deal is going just great.

Rolling my eyes at myself I walk the twenty feet up the alley to where three detectives are standing over a body already covered by a sheet—hopefully someone took samples already otherwise they just contaminated my body.

I recognize the male, Dyson Thronwood—decently known name considering his major arrest of a serial child pornographer four or five years back. In his pictures he always came off cocky and as if he should be posing on a GQ cover rather than solving murders—apparently in person my impression remains correct.

The blonde female I think I know her-Tamsin something or other, I know her by reputation as well though it's the kind you don't want to have. Heard she pissed off the captain, disobeyed orders of some sort, not to mention if one is to believe gossip she gets around the office as well—not the best quality to have in a male driven profession.

Then there is the '_alpha'_ standing in between them, had to love cops and their macho b.s. She is as equally annoying as intriguing—true I never met her before today, cannot even remember her name off of my little sticky note but something about her just rubs me the wrong way.

Maybe it's the fact she is wearing heeled boots, leather pants, a TIGHT shirt that can only be compared to a vest and designer sunglasses, with her hair down obviously styled—her whole attitude screaming '_I am in charge'_, never cared much for that—especially since I highly doubt she can back up such an over-boasting attitude, hardly anyone can.

I get a little closer, within earshot—let's see what this one has.

"Alright so get some unis to search the garbage cans one block up and one block back just to be safe but there is a high probability it is in fact somewhere within this alley. Also send a couple extra cars out on the streets, the perp is most likely still near, probably tripping off of something which should make him relatively easy to find considering the asshole is most likely drenched in blood."

Had to give it to her, she was sexy running off orders and going down a checklist as though she is certain of it.

Let's see just how right she is.

I make my way to the body pulling the sheet down to his waist and then pull a pair of gloves from my jacket pocket.

"Excuse me, you would be a what?"

"I would be a doctor." I glance up at her.

"Well Doc, think you're a little late—he's already dead."

"Oh," I let out a sigh. "You're one of those."

"I'm sorry?" she chuckles a bit.

"One of those cops, the alpha, sarcastic, cocky and quip having ones." I look back down to the victim. "No insult intended, it's just that in my experience I've found there are a few select types of cops, I was just correct with my assumption of you."

"Right," she chuckles again, looking between her two-partners? "Again, who exactly are you?"

"I'm Doctor Lewis, the new medical examiner and substituting on scene technician until I can get myself a new assistant, as it turns out the last one was just as crooked and corrupt as his mentor."

"Well, welcome Doc, I am detective Dennis but you can call me Bo." She reaches out and I look from her to her hand and then back up.

"This department isn't big on following the proper procedures is it?" I raise a brow. "Must be one of the reasons your conviction rates have maintained a low seventy percent," I glance back up at her, feeling she doesn't quite grasp what I am saying to her. "Contamination of evidence."

"I don't mean to be rude here doctor, but this isn't exactly the handy work of Jack the Ripper, it's a simple junkie on junkie shooting."

"Is that so?" I look up and I know she takes this as a challenge as she gives me this icy smirk.

"Yeah, that's so."

"Well Detective Dennis," I bring myself to my feet. "You can send your uniformed officers scavenging the garbage cans in this alley and the other two but you will turn up empty handed because the suspect did not toss the weapon, or at least he didn't toss it so carelessly for the fact that he wasn't panicked after the shooting. You can also send them searching within the area which is actually a fifty-fifty shot considering it has not actually been that long since the crime was committed but you aren't looking for a junkie, or if you are he would be an anomaly considering how highly functioning he is in order to pull this off."

"Dude is shot twice with his pockets turned out, in this neighborhood that constitutes as robbery by junkie." She lets out through a clenched jaw—she isn't amused with me anymore.

"He was shot twice in the face, once from about ten or fifteen feet and then the other was done from maybe a foot away which tells me that even though the first shot killed him the suspect walked over, stood above him and shot again—I'm not cop but that screams personal to me. The guy you are looking for won't be drenched in blood either as you initially assumed, his right pant leg will have some though ankle to mid-calf to be exact."

"So you're one of those." She nods, icy smirk firmly in place as she glares—I can't see her eyes through the dark lenses but I know she is glaring.

"Someone who actually uses logic and reason while utilizing the English language to its full potential, yes I guess I am one of those."

"No, one of those expensive educations, think you're better than everyone, stick up their ass people. No insult intended, it's just that in **my** experience I've found there are a few select types spoiled, rich girls, and as it would turn out, **my** assumption of you was correct as well."

Damn, why did all of the hot ones have to be asses?

"Proceed how you would like detective, I was just trying to be of some assistance."

"Why don't you go be of assistance in the lab or morgue or wherever it is you came from."

"Not a problem." I smile, an odd pleasure I find myself getting at how worked up I've made her. "I'll stay out of your way but do me a favor, next crime scene you're at—try not contaminating my body."

"How about-"

"Whoa. Are we about to have another murder here cause I got a lunch date who will be highly disappointed if I need to cancel." I glance over at Hale who is grinning from ear to ear as he does his little half-jog toward us. "I see you met the good Doc." He smirks staring at Bo as his hand goes to my shoulder. "I'm sure you two will be the best of friends."

"Oh yeah, I expect we'll be braiding each other's hair by noon." She snorts in a chuckle, tongue darting out to lick her lips as she gives this little head shake.

She was sexy—hot-intriguing—interesting—bad news all the way around in the best way-it's just a shame we would have nothing to talk about considering she can't seem to form a basic theory.

"Stare any harder and those eyes are gonna pop right out your head." Hale whispers leaning into my shoulder as he notices my eyes have fallen to her hips as she storms off down the alley—sidekicks in toe.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I clear my throat and begin pulling my gloves off, grin pulling at my lips.

"Mm-hm," he nods taking a step back and just looking at me for a moment, his features getting so serious that I expect him to ask me something about the case—until his trademark smirk begins to emerge. "MM-HM."

* * *

_**12:46 p.m.-Morgue **_

"That is freaking disgusting."

The sound of her voice while still unfamiliar to me is unique enough for me to place it none the less. Out of respect—and good manners I look over to her and nod, I would have forced a smile but between the mask and autopsy glasses it would have been pointless.

She walks up to the edge of the table right next to the victim's feet but continues to have this semi-disgusted look.

Isn't she a detective?

"Squeamish?"

"Not particularly."

"Then the problem would be?"

"You're holding a kidney," her eyebrow raises as if that was the stupidest question I could have ever asked her.

"It's a liver and yes that does tend to be what happens in autopsies. I have to inspect them and weigh them and—"

"Okay Morticia, wasn't asking for a list of turn-ons." I have to chuckle as I turn and place the liver into a container behind me.

"Why exactly are you here?"

"Don't care for the company?"

"In general or yours particularly?" I turn back around to face her, pulling my mask down below my chin. "Because there are two very different answers depending on which, the latter being a very definite no."

"Have I done something to offend you or are you just always this much of a-?"

"Bo?" we both look to the sound of Dyson's voice as he pushes through the double doors. "What are you doing here?"

Good question, Fuzzy.

"Came to um," she hesitates briefly to collect her thoughts before she flashes him a smile-interesting. Work issues? Personal issues? "Came to see if the good doctor was able to find anything else to back up this theory of hers."

"Oh alright,"

"Why are you here?"

"I have a Jane Doe on ice that I was gonna ask her to look over."

"Oh." She nods.

"In case anyone one cares, I'm here because I am working." I interject, the awkward silence filling the air starting to make me uncomfortable. She glances over at me, half smile tugging at the corner of her mouth—it's cute.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" he asks and despite her hesitation she walks back over to the door where he has kept firm footed. He glances at me, this smile that I suppose is supposed to be charming before he sort of leans down and begins whispering-you know for detectives they aren't the smartest bunch, I can still hear them.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asks-hm, I thought this was professional—guess it's personal.

"How can I avoid you, I live with you." YEP, definitely personal.

"You know what I'm talking about Bo."

"No, I don't."

"You were asleep when I got home last night and gone when I woke—"

"I had an earlier shift,"

"Bo—"

"Dyson, we are at work." She huffs and glances back me, and like the dumb-dumb I am I'm caught staring. Quickly I look back down at the body hands fidgeting with the sheet covering our John Doe—I don't think she bought my act but it makes me feel better. "We'll talk later." She doesn't bother trying to whisper this time before walking out.

"So Doc," he claps his hands together and gives me this wolf-grin—if I wasn't already batting for team Lady-Love I would most certainly be now. "I know you just got here but the last guy who held your position—"

"Was slacking on his work, I know I have five bodies in the fridge waiting to be autopsied while another two should have been sent out to a funeral home."

"Is that your way of saying I am out of luck with my request?" he keeps his smirk and is trying to flirt I think-I think that's what he is doing either that or his face is have a spastic-fit of some kind.

"Actually quite the opposite, that was supposed to tell you that despite the fact I have only been here for a little over three hours I already know exactly every issues and if I know every issue then it means I have a plan of attack." I pause pulling my mask back up. "I.E. both bodies are set to be picked up within the hour to be moved to their respective funeral homes. I've looked over all of the case folders for the remaining autopsies, you have two on ice, a John and Jane Doe—I will just preform hers first," another pauses as I begin removing the small intestine, though unlike his apparent girlfriend he doesn't flinch. "So in sum Detective Thornwood, you will have the results on your desk before I leave today."

"They said you were impressive but damn." He laughs, taking a step back—oh, maybe he finally gets it that I am not a fan of the flirting—or the smell of the small intestine is getting to him, either way I am not complaining. "Thank you."

"It's my job." I smile even though he can't see it.

"Oh and by the way, just Dyson." He halts his exit mid-way between me and the door.

"You all are quite informal here aren't you?"

"We like to have a close knit bond, a sort of trust and understanding—I hope you are the type who can fit into that."

Is that a threat?

He is still smirking and isn't doing anything provocative but there is something about the way his tone dropped, the way his eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"Given time I'm sure I will-Dyson."

"Then I don't foresee any problems in our future."

Creepy-furry-needy-overly assertive-I give it another six months before Detective Dennis is coming to pitching tryouts for team Lady-Love.

* * *

_**7:23 p. m.—Lexington Commons**_

"I'm returning your call." I say pushing the front door open with my foot, tossing my bag onto a pile of boxes to my left before searching for the light switch. "No I am here, I am just trying to navigate through a cluttered apartment—just got here remember."

_**(How did the first day go?)**_

"It went—let's just say it went." I finally find the light switch, small smile coming over my face.

_**(Meaning what?)**_

"Meaning it went, it was my first day. I am not sure what you are expecting to hear on my first day. I haven't even met everyone."

_**(Why?)**_

"Why?" I make a face instinctively as I maneuver through boxes to make it to the couch which is still wrapped in plastic. "Because I thought it might be a tad bit strange if I went up and down the halls collecting names and personal history."

_**(Did you at least meet—)**_

"Hold on," I say as I hear footsteps approaching. "Look, I have to go. I'll e-mail you tonight with a detailed account of my day okay?" I don't bother waiting for an answer before I press END.

"Finally you're home."

"I know, I ran my mouth a bit so I had to back it up. Turns out it was a bit trickier than I thought."

"Didn't I tell you to play nice with all the other kids?" she laughs bulldozing her way over to the couch taking a seat on the arm and staring down at me. "Did you make any friends?"

"Not particularly." I sigh.

"Did you get picked on?"

"Not particularly."

"Not particularly? Do I need to go down there and kick someone's ass because I totally will."

"I know you would," I laugh and roll my eyes at her. "It was just a first day is all, nothing overly exciting, just a murder."

"I like how you say nothing exciting, JUST a murder." She mimics my shrug.

"It was extremely simple, I solved it within seconds."

"YOU solved it?" she gets this huge smile as her eyes narrow. "Ah, so you went all Know-It-All with a side of Show-Off on them, you really didn't make any friends today."

"That isn't completely true; I seem to be getting along with a particular detective—sort of."

"Oh," she wiggles her eyebrows. "Do tell, is she hot?"

"It's actually a guy and he is-okay I guess. But I meant it as an actual-"

"The word you're looking for is friend or buddy or bud or pal or-"

"I got it, thank you." I scowl through a smile. "There was this one girl, detective but um, not much there—in more ways than one."

"How much do you need for a good tussle to bless the new bed?" I don't dignify that with an answer—just a scowl. "Come on get the hell up, I wanna go out."

"Where?"

"I don't know."

"So you want to wander around the streets aimlessly until we find something you like?"

"Sure, yeah—that'll work."

"I could name fifty different reasons why that is a horrible and dangerous idea."

"Do you have a safer and better one?" she slides off the arm of the couch and reaches out for me.

"There is this cop bar, The Dal—I guess we could go there."

"Don't you need to be a cop?"

"Well I know they let the D.A. in and if they let her in than it's pretty lack standards." I can't help but laugh as I take her hand and stand but instead of a laugh I get an unusual look. "It's a joke, law enforcement humor."

"Maybe we should be getting you out in to a regular bar if that is your idea of humor."

"I bet if I said it there they would all laugh."

"I bet they would too," she looks over her shoulder at me while pulling the door back open. "Cause they are drunk babes."

* * *

_**9:22 p.m.-The Dal**_

I run my fingertip around the rim of the glass of whiskey I have been babysitting for a while now, glancing across the floor to see Kenzi and Hale laughing it up as they attempt to throw darts although all I've seen them throw within the past hour is complements at one another.

Hale was a good detective but a better man, I've known him on and off through the past three years. He was the smooth, sexy, siren type of guy but he also had another side to him, the side that liked to take lectures and learn about the newest techniques—thus how we met.

He had only met Kenzi twice before, both times a '_Hi &amp; Bye'_ type situation though it was like fireworks were going off every time-too bad she is ten years his junior.

Ah well, let them have their fun.

Not far from them Tamsin and Dyson are shooting pool and-flirting? Well this group really wasn't one for formalities OR boundaries. I know I should mind my own business but there was just something interesting about the whole situation—it was like a puzzle.

A puzzle calling my name.

What was the group dynamic? Did these two have a thing-are they having a thing? Does Detective Dennis know-does she care? Do they all have a thing? Where does Hale fit into it all?

So many questions…..

"You are an interesting read aren't you?"

I know a smile comes over my lips at the sound of her voice but I force it back before turning to face her. God—she is full of herself. She is leaning against the bar, eyes narrow and grin on lips as she is just mere inches from me.

"Meaning?"

"Are you always this combative?" she raises an eyebrow but continues to smirk.

"I'm not combative, you just aren't used to this." I drop my tone and lean forward a bit which makes her get this look of accomplishment.

"Used to what doctor?" she leans further, the furthest she can without actually crossing a boundary, and I can't help but to hesitate for a moment.

God, she is gorgeous.

"Used to someone you don't have an effect on."

"You're saying I don't have an effect on you?" she smiles, biting her bottom lip as those beautiful eyes of hers dance over my face.

"Yes," I was lying, she had AN effect on me—it just wasn't what she was used to. "Is that so unusual for you to hear?"

"Yes, actually it is."

"Well then I suggest you start getting used to it."

"You know," her tongue darts out wetting her lips as she stares at mine momentarily. "You're very sexy in an off putting way."

"Off putting?" this time I raise my brow and let out a soft chuckle-I know I am smiling but it's still nothing compared to what it could be given the situation.

"Yeah, off putting."

"Thank you?"

"It's a compliment—I think."

"You don't know if you're giving me a compliment?"

"No, I know I am giving you one." she leans in just a hair more and it takes a conscious effort not to pull back-or lean in. "I am just not sure if it's the most intriguing thing I have ever experienced—or the most infuriating."

"Indecisive I see."

"I can be."

"That isn't the best quality to have in a detective."

"Let's call it objectivity and **that is **the best quality to have."

"You tend to blow your own horn a lot don't you?"

"I think it's actually toot Doc,"

"You're correcting me, how-interesting."

"That's something else I can be."

"Well, I am notoriously known to be insatiably curious." My words trailing off as my eyes continue to shift between her lips and her eyes. I can't lie; I've slipped a bit further into her trap than intended. "What?" my smile widening as she lets out the cutest little laugh. "Like my use of the English language?"

"Geek speak," she bites her bottom lip again and I have to swallow at the wave of nervousness beginning to creep in as the tension in my lower stomach begins to worsen. "It's-incredibly adorable."

"I've gone from being sexy to adorable in a matter of minutes?" smile returning to a smirk, sense of composure coming back over me. "Someone doesn't take rejection well."

"Wasn't aware I was being rejected."

"What would you call this?"

"Enchanting?" she leans in a bit more but this time I pull back equally as much.

"You are quite the charmer aren't you?"

"I've been told."

"It's shame." My smirk fading a bit and hers follows, not quite understanding the sudden mood change.

"What?"

"Can I ask you a question?" I finally tear my eyes away from hers and look down at my drink.

"Sure, ask two if you like—but the third one, I do charge for." She chuckles as just watches me, her stare is so-intense.

"Do I seem like the type of person who has random one night stands?" I glance over at her who looks taken back.

"No, you don't strike me as the type."

"Then why," this time when I glance at her I hold her gaze—it's different this time though. "Would you think I would be the type to play adulteress?"

"Excuse me?"

"You and Fuzzy don't whisper as quietly as you think you do." As the words leave my lips I see all of the intrigue, all of the joy and playfulness drain from her features. "I'm not judging, but I don't like to play games and I don't play the role of anyone's second choice." I down the little liquid in my glass before sliding off of my seat as she stands up straight. "No matter how attracted I may be or how—enchanting I may find them to be."

My eyes dancing over her pristine features once more before giving her a little smile as I walk passed, making sure the outside of my hand grazes hers.

This is a very a slippery slope to a dangerous game I am contemplating playing.

"Doc," I pause, biting my bottom lip to keep from smiling again—I always hated when people called me that, made me feel like a Looney Ton or that basketball coach—but there was something about the way she said it that made me smile.

"Hm?" I turn back around, brow lifting a bit.

"I meant to tell you, the case this morning—the killer was the guy's lover, turns out he was cheating on him." Her stern features turning into another smirk. "You were right."

"Oh, I know." I flash another smile before glancing over at Kenzi who is safe and sound with Hale. "Goodnight Detective Dennis."

"It's Bo."

"Mm-hm." A tiny chuckle as I turn to head for the door.

Well like they say, danger is always a hazard of curiosity.


	2. The Difference A Day Can Bring

_**Chapter 2: The Difference A Day Can Bring**_

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_**2 MONTHS LATER**_

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_**Wednesday**_

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_**College de Montreal-8:02 p.m.**_

"Despite many of those memorable things the one thing that this killer would remember most about this kill was," I hesitate catching a glimpse of Bo standing off to the side of the last row of seats to my left.

Why was she here-better yet how did she know I was here?

"The thing he would remember most about this kill was the fact that she didn't scream. Never once through the entire duration of the brutal act did she scream for help or mercy or even out in pain."

"Was there something wrong with her?" a boy from the fifth row tosses out.

"Well," I hit the little button on my clicker as the picture behind me goes from a picture of a chart to a rather grotesque crime scene photo which ears various sounds from the crowd of a hundred and fifty—well a hundred and fifty-one now due to my little impromptu guest. "It would seem like quite a bit is wrong with her, wouldn't you agree?" I glance over my shoulder at the picture and then back to the crowd which I can hardly see passed the fourth row due to the lighting choice of the university. "Perhaps if you are planning to have an actual career in this field you should learn to better articulate your questions." I glance over at Bo who is just standing there—staring at me. Something is wrong. "Detective Dennis, care to educate us on what the proper question would have been?"

"Did the victim have any biological defects that would contribute to her lack of auditory self-defense?"

"The answer would be no, the victim was found to be in perfect health—prior to this incident of course which is therefore why Cater Cane holds a particularly soft spot for this kill. On his last in depth interview he said his greatest regret in life was not being caught nor committing the acts themselves but that he did not keep this particular victim alive longer than his twenty-four hour time table." I clear my throat, hitting the clicker three times to turn the screen off as the lights come back on. "Critical thinking for next week."

I look around the stage making sure I have left nothing even though I am fully aware I brought nothing with me. Habit I guess, can never be too careful. I force a soft smile as I make it down the six stairs to meet her.

In the two months since meeting her we haven't had many interactions, four to be technical including my first day.

"Detective Dennis, of what do I owe the pleasure?"

"There's a case." She says flatly already walking toward the exit, basically a silent '_follow me'_, she was never one for words.

"You do know that I am not on call right?"

"You don't have a choice in this matter." She pulls the door open for me, she is unusually cold and professional—it's alarming in a way. "Was there a terrorist attack I missed?"

"No."

"Then I am not quite sure why I am being called in after hours when my assistant is more than capable of handling whatever this is, at least until morning."

"Not when a Fed shows up and takes over," she pauses, once again pushing the main entrance glass door open for me.

"Fed?" I raise a brow, it's not that I am out of shape but I was having a tad bit of trouble keeping up with her speed walk toward the parking lot.

"Doctor," she says sort of harshly grabbing my attention. "You're coming with me."

"You know Detective, I almost feel as if I am the one being arrested." She says nothing as she gets into her car which happens to be illegally parked on the sidewalk.

I can take a hint, she doesn't want to talk oddly enough.

I get into the car and no sooner than the sound of my seatbelt clicking are we speeding away, the siren light flashing but no siren. I don't blame her that damn thing annoys me too and honestly if they are calling me in then the rush is—not as urgent.

For a little over a mile I remain silent, looking out at the buildings I was not fully familiar with—watching what few people who were still out wondering why they were in a cold this brutal, sure I wasn't wearing a jacket but I was only supposed to be going from my car to the college and vice versa.

"So, how are you and Dyson doing?" I was never one for small talk, I didn't excel at it—don't have the skillset but the silence mixing with the constant flashing lights was beginning to wear on my patience. "I heard you two aren't living together anymore but are still," I chuckle suddenly nervous on the subject. "Still continuing a physical relationship?"

"Something like that."

"Okay." I nod looking from her to the street. "I'm a little surprised, not that you two aren't together anymore I sort of called that but that you haven't I don't know—made a move, is that the correct term now a days?" another nervous chuckle coming through a smile that fades as she remains stern and cold. "Not that I am coincided or expecting you two it is just that you were quite flirtatious the times I've seen you when you were with him and though I made it clear I would not play the role of mistress I thought I kind of left door open for—further flirtation if I was not being placed into that role."

"You did." Yet another short response which I simply nod at, a wave of embarrassment washing over me.

"I know we tend to butt heads which usually ends with flirting of some kind, I just mean to say that I know I have a tendency to piss you off but I haven't seen you in over three weeks so this attitude you seem to have with me at the moment is rather uncalled for."

She clenches her jaw keeping her eyes on the road for a solid twenty seconds before glancing over at me, jaw still firmly clenched but there is a softness to her features—I don't recognize this.

"I've never had to do this before."

"Play chauffeur?"

"No, see a child's body."

"Wh-what?" I turn and stare at her though she is refusing to even glance my way. "It's a child?" well don't I feel like shit. I look down at my lap, embarrassment growing. "So, in all of your time on the force you've never come across even one?"

"N-no."

"Not even as a patrol officer?"

"No."

"Hm."

"What?"

"Nothing, I just find it unusual that in all your time on the force you've never even come across one."

"Yeah well I haven't, alright?" she glances over at me scowling, pervious chill returning to her tone.

"You know it's okay," I say softly after another two blocks of silence. "I'm not a specialist in the matter but I have come across my share and-it never gets any easier, the first is the worse and around the third you begin to build a tolerance, it's not until about the tenth of fifteenth that you get that horribly sick feeling like the first." I look over at her, voice softening. "At least it was like that for me, I know some cops are able to keep their tolerance."

"Yeah, well you aren't really an expert on this are you?" she turns, scowl intact. "You aren't a cop."

"N—no, I'm not."

I fall silent, looking back out of my window the rest of the ride—that was the problem with most cops, they developed this US V.S. THEM attitude, problem was that sometimes they tossed the wrong people into the THEM category.

I had some experience with this, more than I would have liked so I could have been of some help but she doesn't want to admit that beyond having this sick, disgusting feeling in the pit of her stomach she was scared.

It's not long until we pull up to the tapped off area, several squad cars and unmarked cars all with their lights flashing illuminating an otherwise desolate street of a seemingly abandoned neighborhood.

I get out before her and walk up the street, I know the look that all of these patrol officers have. Tamsin is the first person I know that I spot, she is standing off to the side looking toward the buildings, hands on her hips. Hale is next who is off to my right just shaking his head, Dyson with his back to me as he just stares down.

"Where is the agent?" I ask causing Dyson to turn around.

"Back at the station waiting for us, your techs are here but the Fed was specific not to allow the body to be moved until you gave you're okay."

"How sweet," I mumble under my breath as I rest my hand on Dyson's arm while finally looking at the young victim. Taking a deep breath I crouch down but am very careful not to touch him. "Preliminary assumption would be a seven to nine year old male, drowning as C.O.D. Sexual aspect cannot be ruled out due to the fact his shirt, socks and shoes are missing. I see no other wounds though due to discoloration of the skin I cannot rule that out either until we get back to—the station." I take Hale's offered hand as I stand, glancing over at Bo who is three shades paler than normal. "Have the techs come and move him now."

"We have a possible witness in the back of my car, but he's-" Hale doesn't have time to finish before Bo is storming over to him.

I know what's about to happen, it's never good.

"I've got it." I give them a little nod before walking after her, I'm a bit behind as she has already dismissed the patrol officer who was with him and has threw the witness' cup of something on the ground.

"What did you see?"

"Detective."

"Hey, fuck head." She slams her hand on the top of the car, making the already nervous and jumpy addict begin to panic. "You do this? Is this your work?"

"Detective." I repeat.

"This how you get your kicks huh?" another slam on the roof.

"Bo." My voice hardening, hand on her lower back finally grabbing her attention. "You aren't going to get anything this way." She glares at me and I don't think I've even seen her this pissed at me but none the less she backs up a bit allowing me to crouch in front of this lanky, dirty, trembling excuse for a man. "Are you okay?" he nods. "Good, now I know you're high on something I don't care what but I also know you are still coherent enough to understand what's happening, am I correct?"

"Y—yeah."

"Good, I want you to listen to me very carefully, you see all of these cops around here—every single one of them are pissed right now and they would like nothing more than to find someone to blame for this, now you are a good suspect for several reasons—I don't need to explain them do I?"

"N—no."

"Then tell me what you saw otherwise you're going to be talking to a bunch of very angry cops rather than me."

"Nothing—I swear I saw nothing . I woke up and the dude was on the—" he's cut off by Bo's hand hitting the roof again, something which even makes me jump a bit.

"Dude? That's a child asshole."

"Bo," I glare up at her shaking my head. "What were you saying?"

"I woke up and he was there-next thing I know man people—people were everywhere and grabbing me and-I don't know."

"Okay." I stand up pushing the door shut.

"Okay? That's it?"

"Do I look like an interrogator to you?" I raise an eyebrow. "A lesson you would do well to learn is that you can go from nice to shitty but you can't go from shitty to nice. This guy, is he an addict with a rap sheet of his own? Most likely but do I think that he managed to abduct, drown and move his body here before getting rid of the car and then coming back to pass out for a power nap? No, I don't think so."

"I'm sorry but you are a medical examiner right, cause it really seems like you're a cop all of a sudden."

"Be pissed, be angry, be upset—be any and all but don't take it out on me." I say it as kindly as I can, trying control my irritation level as I walk back over to her car, my night was apparently far from over and this temper tantrum of hers I am not prepared to deal with.

I sit in the car just watching the events play out, I watch her more accurately. Sure I should have been watching my employees carry out their job making sure everything is done correctly but I have little doubt it won't be. I could watch Tamsin who I have a particular distaste for, someone who has been on the force for over eight years yet is still rattled at the sites of the more gruesome cases. I could watch Dyson with his overall lack of emotion on the whole subject, not to say he doesn't care—not even my personal feelings about him would cause me to make a judgment so harsh. I could even watch Hale who is perhaps a mixture of the two, a certain numbness to it while still having a sense of disgust for it all.

But I only watch her.

I loved things I couldn't solve or at least took me a while to solve, enigmas, mysteries, questions, riddles, puzzles and she was definitely that.

I have no doubt that if I hadn't kept my distance then some of my values would have been bent when it came to situations pertaining to her—I felt it the first day we met especially that same night at The Dal.

She is standing off to the side talking to Dyson but stops to watch the sheet covered gurney being shuffled into the back of an ambulance.

In all honesty and though I would never tell her I don't think this is the right line of work for her. She is far too emotional and while she isn't stupid she just does not apply common sense to most situations. How she ends up as lead detective on almost every case is a question mark to me.

Emotion can be good, I've known many cops who kept an emotional attachment to certain cases while still being able to remain objective—she lacks this ability and for some reason the rest of them don't seem to help her with that.

Perhaps that is why we butt heads; I remind her that there is a way to approach things that isn't fully emotional.

I'm sure she thinks I am cold, that I don't care because I am able to speak calmly to a suspect but it's not that at all, I wish she could see that.

I wish I knew why I cared so much about what she thinks of me.

It's not long after the ambulance drives away that she returns to the car, switches the lights off and drives us to the station all without ever speaking a single word to me, a fifteen minute drive without so much as a peep.

I didn't think she could physically do it.

The walk inside the station despite being night and nearly empty is a cold one, every officer seemingly looking at us—word spreads fast.

The elevator ride to the third floor just as silent and cold as the drive here but it doesn't bother me quite as much, perhaps because I know in a matter of seconds I won't be confined in a small space with her—though I will be in her domain which might cause a problem.

Doors slowly part and she allows me out first, she isn't one for manners but this isn't about manners it's about chivalry another aspect of her that peaks my interest.

Despite being nearly ten o'clock this floor is quite packed, well she did mention a team being assembled.

"This is Agent," she says softly as we walk back down toward the second to last desk before the Captain's office. Designer suit and haircut, though I can't see his face as he leans against the corner of a desk reading some file. "Agent um," she pauses trying to remember his name. "Lachlan, yeah that's it." She finally remembers just as we reach him, his attention shooting to us at the sound of his own name.

"Lauren," my name rolls off of his tongue through a crooked smile, Bo looking between the two of us.

"You two know each other?"

"No." I say flatly, shaking my head as I glance over at her but he says '_Yes'_ the exact same time as I speak.

"Well, it is always easier to remember a beautiful face." Crooked smile growing as he extends his hand and I quickly shake it. "We met at the joint conference between the CSIS and CIA a year back."

"Why were you at a national intelligence conference?" she asks, brow furrowed though her inquisitiveness has brought about a certain softness to her features.

"It was at the university."

"I don't remember that happening."

"Well by definition the CSIS and CIA don't exactly flaunt their whereabouts, we're sneaky that way." He chuckles, eyes shifting from mine to her and then back.

"Creepy too." She whispers under her breath to me, shoulder leaning into mine as she takes his distraction at Captain Evony Morgan peeking out of her office.

"I want you all to look around this room because this has just become your home until this is solved, these people standing with you have been specifically chosen by Agent Lachlan, please do give your full cooperation."

"Evony handing over control?" Bo glances over at me eyebrow raised.

"Well you don't really argue with CSIS."

"Why exactly is CSIS in on this?" Tamsin asks the question undoubtedly on everyone's mind.

"Classified."

"CSIS doesn't investigate routine murders." Dyson the next to pipe in.

"This is the third in a string of murders as I would be pleased to inform you in if there is no further interruptions."

Dyson just sits atop of his desk, feet on the chair as he holds his hands out—a gesture which I suppose means to continue. I glance back over at Bo who still has her inquisitive look on as she continues to catch Agent Lachlan stealing a glance or two at me.

Still territorial despite the fact she doesn't want to speak to me-confusing girl.

"Exactly why CSIS is interested in this is classified just understand we are and we are leading this investigation, the eight of you here were all carefully picked for this team but make no mistake I can replace any of you," he glances over at me. "Almost any of you."

"You must have made some impression." She whispers to me, once again leaning against my shoulder.

"In Laval the bodies of Clayton Paul and Alexander Thomas were found last week, Paul on a Wednesday and Thomas on a Sunday. Both were seven year old, white males who were taken from their respective homes in the middle of the night, both without the parents ever knowing until it was too late. Both found in the same manner and fashion as the victim tonight. We believe this is the work of a serial killer and will strike again on Sunday if the pattern holds true."

"If this happened in Laval then how did you know he'd strike here?" Hale asks coming up behind me, his presence causing Bo to subtly take a step away from me.

"The second victim was found on the borderline between the cities six miles from where the first was found, logical assumption was that he would move within Montreal next."

"So what we have until Sunday and then you move onto the next city or?" Bo asks looking around the room of restless detectives, not a single one enjoying Lachlan's presence.

"Montreal is approximately a hundred and sixty-six miles, if he is killing moving south at a distance of six miles each kill—I most certainly hope you can catch him before he makes another—"

"Twenty-seven and a half kills?" my left brow going up, a weird sense of irritation coming at how he was talking to her. "Although I am not exactly sure what a half of kill would be."

"Perhaps that would be the one this station finally finds alive."

"I assure you, they are more than capable of catching him before it reaches that Agent."

"We'll see." His cocky smile wavering, tearing his eyes from mine he looks back over the office of highly curious officers. I spoke out of turn and I know this will have consequences. "Understand I am merely this circus' ring master, Evony will continue to have lead and Bo here will oddly enough remain point detective. Any problem with that?" he speaks looking over the room but somehow ends up returning his gaze back to me.

"For what it's worth," Hale pauses, hand on my right shoulder as her whispers into my left ear. "I think you could take him."

* * *

.

_**Thursday**_

.

_**City Morgue-3:27 a.m.**_

"Hey Doc," I continue to pull my mask off as I look at the gentle voice. "Permission to enter?" she asks softly, this little smile with the most adorable puppy eyes I've seen as she leans in half way from the door.

"I don't know," beginning to remove my gloves. "Do you plan on retracting the claws?"

"All retracted." Smile growing as she walks in stopping just a few feet shy of the bottom of my autopsy table. The smile she had been sporting quickly fading, color draining from her cheeks. "H—how do you do it? How can you be so—"

"Cold?"

"I didn't mean it that way." Her voice but a whisper as she looks up at me.

"You really want to know how _**I**_ do it?" I ask just as softly as her, pulling off my scrub cap before moving around the table to meet her. "Then for the next—two minutes trust me." Her dark eyes dancing over my face, full of uncertainty.

"O—okay."

"Okay." I repeat with a soft smile before I place my hands on her shoulders and guide her up toward the middle of the table, my chest lightly resting against her back, hands gripping her shoulders gently keeping her from successfully turning away.

Her eyes glassing over while she looks around the entire room but refuses to look down as her jaw trembles ever so slightly.

"Look at him Bo," she doesn't at first but after a few seconds she is finally able to bring her eyes to his face.

I move just a bit so I am only leaning against the right half of her back, my left hand dropping to her side as my right moves down her jacket covered arm till reaching her lightly shaking hand.

"Trust me." I whisper as I move her reluctant hand to his, she tries to jerk away but I hold her hand atop of his, my eyes moving from our hands to her face—features scrunching slightly as she tries to keep the tears from falling. "Look at his face," her lips part, I'm sure to protest but she does as I tell her. "Now repeat after me-Hello Arron, I'm Detective Dennis."

She tilts her head, eyes meeting mine and despite how close our faces are-how close our lips are it's not sexual. The tears in her eyes so pronounced I'm sure I'm blurred to her but she is searching for something—I'm not sure what.

She lets out this heavy breath before a sniffle as she looks down at him.

"H—hello A—Arron, I'm Detective Dennis."

"I am sorry for what's happened to you,"

"I'm s—so sorry for what's happened to you."

"But I promise no matter what that I will find who did this to you."

"La—"

"Say it." I whisper, her hand tightening around his as I see a tear slip down her cheek.

"I promise you, I will find who did this—no matter what." Her words breaking as she whispers this but I've never heard more conviction in her voice than this moment.

"That is how **I **handle cases like this." She doesn't move for a moment, her hand clenching his as she just stares at him—and I stare at her.

"We—we're taught not to make promises."

"I know, so are doctors but this one—I know it's one that we're going to keep." She turns around within my embrace and I know I should move back but I find myself holding still.

"I don't make promises, mostly because I know I can't keep them."

"I know you will keep this one." My heart aching for her, the pain not only written over her face but in her eyes, eyes that were peering into mine—still desperately searching for something.

"W-why?"

"Because," I swallow back the lump in my throat, there are a million and one reasons I could say, a hundred that I could actually mean but I hesitate. Eyes leaving hers and going to our hands that I've suddenly realized are still embraced. "Because," another heavy whisper, eyes moving back up to meet hers. "I promise you that I'll make sure you do."

"We're in this together huh?" she smiles softly—heartbreakingly.

"Yeah," a gentle smile of my own. "We're in this together."

"Careful Doc, you could make a girl fall in love with you making promises like this."

"I'm sure it would take more than this." I whisper eyes moving over her face, her beautifully heartbreaking features.

"Not to someone whose never heard them—not to someone who doesn't know what that's like."

"Well then, I'll um—be sure to be careful."

"Yeah," she smiles softly, a sense of composer coming over her as our hands drift apart. "You be sure to do that doctor." She takes a step back as I do the same.

"Safe as houses." I smile and watch her back away for three steps before finally turning around and walking to the door, stopping just as her hand falls onto it.

"Did you need a ride home?" she looks over her shoulder. "I know your car is at the university."

"No, thank you though. Hale is taking me home, his night to stay over."

"It's morning."

"Well, time doesn't really apply when you're in love-or so I'm told."

"You've never been in love?" she asks, this unusual little smile, one that is a mixture of glee and disappointment.

"Goodnight Detective."

* * *

_**Lexington Commons-9:13 a.m.**_

"Detective, come to kidnap me again?" I ask through a grin as I walk out of my building to find her leaning against her unmarked car, smirk firmly on her lips.

"What can I say, I like the company."

"Hm," a slight chuckle as I walk up the sidewalk to meet her. "Hale is supposed to take me in."

"Hale, hm? Does Kenzi know about this attachment you have to her boyfriend?"

"It's nothing like that."

"Nothing like that huh?" she turns around pulling the door open for me. "Don't like the male population?"

"I love the male population," I turn to her, smirk growing as I see the slightly confused look she gets. "I just prefer they stay out of my bedroom." I don't watch for her reaction as I get in but I hear her chuckle.

"So," she lets out after she gets herself positioned in her seat. She puts her sunglasses on and gets a piece of gum all before gesturing toward the cup holders where there is two cups of coffee which I assume is her way of letting me know one of them is mine.

"So." I repeat with a sheepish smile as I take my coffee.

"I didn't know what you liked so I guessed."

"It's fine thank you."

"That junkie turned up clean, well he has warrants but I mean for this case he's cleared."

"I figured as such."

"No need to gloat Doc," she glances over at me as she grabs her coffee cup—this isn't the safest driving I've seen. "So how did you learn to do that, I mean I've seen people be nice with little shits like him and get nothing but you were like the junkie-whisperer."

"Oh um," I pause taking a sip and looking over at her debating what I want to say. "I um—"

"I've never seen you have this much trouble with words before."

"Yeah it's just that I am trying to decide if I want to do that bonding thing."

"That bonding thing?"

"Yes, you know where I share something personal and then you reciprocate in which there is a certain level of trust and such built between us."

"Oh, THAT bonding thing." She laughs glancing over at me as we make a turn-I really wish she would watch the road more.

"Never mind." I roll my eyes taking another drink trying not to smile.

"No, no come on I want to do this bonding thing."

"You can be a real ass."

"I know, personality flaw."

"I um, have professional experience of course so that helps but I also have some personal experience."

"You?" she looks over at me, luckily this time we are at a stoplight.

"Not me, but," I take a deep breath debating this. "Kenzi she had some problems a while back with heroine."

"Kenzi?" she looks over at me in shock.

"Yeah, it was only for a bit when she was much younger but—it really gave me a good insight."

"I can't believe Kenzi, I mean I've hung out with her at least three times a week for two months and I never even expected."

"Well she has been clean for a long time now, one of those things that are better left in the past—we all have those type of mistakes."

"I been meaning to ask her but how exactly do you two know one another? I mean I'm not judging I love her but she is pretty young."

"This bonding thing is limited to one confession, sorry." I smirk from behind the rim of my cup—we aren't at this level of sharing yet—if ever.

"Fair enough." She leans back into her seat, silence coming over us as her smile slowly fades. "Alright, this is common knowledge and I'm sure you've heard around but you'll be the first person I actually say this—admit this to. You mentioned last night how it was odd that in all my time as a cop I've never see a—child's body and it's-I've only been a cop for three and a half years."

"Really?"

"I was a beat cop for six months and then got bumped up."

"Must have been impressive work."

"Not really, I had the luck of assisting Dyson on the child pornography case so I got written up well for that. And my grandfather Trick, he owns The Dal, I don't think you've met him yet."

"Not yet."

"Well he is pretty big with the older cops, the brass now so there were some favors and strings pulled. It was always written in stone I would be bumped up and the case gave them the excuse. I mean they were willing to do it right when I got out of academy but Trick wanted me to learn a lesson so I had to wait a bit."

"Well, must be nice." I say flatly looking at the uniformed officer who waves us into the parking lot.

"Not really."

Silence once again finds us and it's not exactly comfortable but it's not awkward either.

I let out a yawn as we make it into the elevator, after all I was just here a couple hours ago—reminds me, I forgot to ask her if she went home at all.

"Finally decided to join the party?" Hale wiggles his eyebrows as he walks by, nodding his head toward Evony's office. "Briefing by Agent Dick-Head, T minus thirty seconds."

"Soooo excited." She's smirking at me and making a face of some kind, I don't think she realizes how much her sunglasses obscure her expressions.

"Play nice, he can take your badge if he wants."

"I'm not worried."

"You should be." I whisper to myself as she manages to get a few steps ahead of me.

I was in no particular rush to be stuck in a small room full of them while they all tried to have a pissing contest. I don't have enough sleep nor enough coffee but oh well, pity party of one will have to wait.

"How nice of you to make an appearance." I look up to him but realize he is speaking Bo not myself.

"Well unless you didn't want the medical examiner here I wouldn't say too much on my thirty seconds of lateness." She barks—something about the way she does it tells me it's for my benefit. She recognizes I've seen her weak more than once now, she needs to make sure I don't think she is.

"Moving on, thanks to Lauren we have an identification for the victim last night. His name is one," he looks down at the folder, a slight irritation gnawing at me that he can't seem to remember the name despite the fact he has read that report no less than five times by now. "Arron Samuel, a nine year old male who went missing from his bedroom last night around five thirty in the evening, I say around because the mother sent him to his room at approximately three and decided that it was okay she didn't hear anything from him for a few hours. His body was found at seven thirty, T.O.D as recorded here says—"

"Approximately seven o'clock." I cut in, the entire room's attention coming to me, unlike when he spoke. I was by far no one's favorite person but by their standards I was more one of them rather than him and this simple fact earned me the basic respect of looking and listening when I spoke. "Secondary findings were that both of his shoulders were dislocated meaning he put up as good of a fight against a grown man as anyone would ever dream a boy his age could do."

"Does that mean maybe he got DNA or something?" Tamsin asks leaning out from behind Dyson.

"Unfortunately no, but apart from bringing a sense of comfort and pride to his parents—which it will, it also tells us what kind of a monster we are dealing with."

"How so?"

"Have you ever had your shoulder dislocated?" Bo asks looking to the blonde. "It makes a disturbing sound, let alone two. I was looking over the reports of the other two boys and there was no indication of struggle so it was thought perhaps the suspect used something to subdue them. A—mercy type of killing, as awful as it sounds it's a lot easier to go through with it if they are knocked out, not struggling or even moving."

"Detective Dennis is correct," I smile gently—she did have potential—when she applied herself. "It is safe to assume the other two boys were just docile and didn't fight back, what all this means is that this unsub has no remorse, no guilt or hesitation. His hunger will only grow, the only way to stop him would be to—"

"Put a bullet in his head—cause that's what I'm aiming to do." Dyson chuckles coldly as the room follows in their own variation other than me and Lachlan.

"Perhaps you shouldn't be on this case." Lachlan says flatly putting an end to the chuckles.

"Relax, just a bit of crass cop humor." Evony says, this must be killing her allowing someone else to take over and run her department. She wasn't the type to relinquish control easily.

"I believe you've all been briefed well enough, meet me outside to hand out your assignments." Lachlan orders before leading everyone out of the office, there were another eight or ten detectives working other cases so it wasn't unusual that he wanted quiet when having a briefing but I think it's more about making sure people understand he is running the show.

"I'll be right there." I let out to Hale who looks back at me, the vibrating in my jeans pocket grabbing ahold of my attention.

"Kenz?" I let out closing Evony's door, she is so busy being pissed at Lachlan and glaring at him I doubt she'll even know I'm using her office.

_**(Yeah, what are you doing?)**_

"I'm working."

_**(Do you know if you'll be home for lunch?)**_

"It's like ten in the morning."

_**(I'm still growing, I need nourishment.)**_

"You stopped growing two years ago." I say peeking out of the window into the main office seeing them scurry about except for Bo who is sitting on Dyson's desk smiling as he stands next to her laughing about something or other.

_**(Did you even hear me?)**_

"Yeah, I did."

_**(What did I say?)**_

"That you are a bottomless black hole who eats up all of the food, and if I ever got rich I need to buy you your own supermarket."

_**(Har-Har funny Lauren but-)**_

Her voice drowns out a bit as I shift two steps to the right to get a better view of them, I am aware this could constitute as stalking but—oh well.

She is smiling, hand resting on his arm—I know body language that is a clear '_GO_' sign and not in the '_go away'_ way.

Well it was no secret they were still friends with benefits she even angrily admitted it yesterday so it's not really a surprise to see them flirting, besides he knows her well—I'm sure he brings some comfort to her after the events of the past twenty four hours.

_**(Earth to Lauren Lewis!)**_

"Yeah, Kenz I am here."

_**(Shit, what are you doing over there getting head or what?)**_

"Working, what you should be doing."

**(Mind your business asshole.)**

"You are my business asshole."

_**(Then fucking act like it)**_

"Kenz," I huff as I pause and steal one last glance at the flirty pair before tearing my eyes away. "You're being a real pain in the ass right now."

_**(What else are little sisters for?-Look I need you to make the time to meet me for lunch I really need you to help me with this.)**_

"Yeah, one-thirty at Benally's."

_**(Thank you, love you.)**_

"Love you too, oh and dress according please." Sighing I stuff my phone back in my pocket and walk out, a slight irritation settling in at-the flirty pair.

I know I have no right but—oh well.

"Doc, let's go." Bo says jumping off the desk. "We pulled the short straw of checking out a suspect."

"We?"

"Mm-hm, I need you to let me know if the guy fits the criteria, you say he does it's enough for to bring him in for questioning."

"Wonderful."

* * *

_**Saint Anthony's Church—10:36 a.m.**_

"Do you need to do that?" I ask noticing how she pops the strap open on her holster as she begins walking around the car.

"You never know."

"You really think that the priest is who we're looking for?"

"Haven't you read the news anytime within the past decade?"

"I have, but I am also not one of those people who think priest are lurking around every corner just waiting to jump out at children."

"Oh, I'm not either." She gets this smirk. "Just the Catholic ones." A slight chuckle as she nods for us to go in.

I say nothing just follow her in, she holds the first door and then the second.

I didn't intend to but before I even realize I am doing it I've already made the sign of the cross. I mentally kick myself even more so when I glance over at her and she is looking at me with this distasteful look.

"Muscle memory, can't wipe away some things—no matter how hard you try." I force a smile and push passed her not caring to hear her comments on the subject. "Excuse me father," I say grabbing his attention near the alter knowing Bo was obviously not going to be as civil. "We're with the police do you mind helping us for a second?"

"Or I could throw your ass in jail for obstruction of justice."

"You have to excuse her, she has a daily quota for manners and she has reached her limit already apparently."

"Oh, I thought she was just a Protestant." He says with a straight face before letting out a hearty laugh. "I am sixty-seven years old; it's a bit of old Irish humor, don't mind me."

"Ha, I thought your kind stuck to kiddy jokes—made it easier to chummy up with the prospective victims."

"Jesus Bo,"

"I think I'd like a little more good cop than bad cop." He says through a tightened jaw.

"He is not by any means who we are looking for." I whisper into her ear as I lean over. "Father, you aren't James Collins are you?"

"No, I can't say I am. What is this about?" he repositions his stance, given the fact he is about fifty to sixty pounds overweight I would say he is feeling great discomfort from being on his feet in the particular shoes he is wearing.

"Answer the question."

"He is my," he stops at the sound of the sacristy door opening, a man in his mid-twenties emerging.

It's as if the whole world pauses. I see the look in his eyes as he realizes we're law enforcement, the color in his face draining. I see the confusion turn into a sad realization on the Father's face. I can feel Bo starting to move.

"James stop!" she yells but he is already running for the side entrance Bo bolting after him.

"Shit." I mumble. "Do you have phone?"

"Ye-yes."

"Call the police tell them officer needs assistance." I hardly finish before I am running after them—or rather her.

I make it out onto the street, people in both directions looking around confused.

Left—right-left-right-my decision made as I hear three gunshots.

Running to my left down into an alley, I see James running down the alley and Bo lying on the ground motionless.

"Bo?! Bo?!" I let out dropping to my knees, pulling her shirt up thankfully finding a vest. "Bo," I let out again a little less panicked.

"I'm alright-I can't breathe though." Her eyes open to half mass as she tries to catch her breath.

"Did they go through?"

"N—no." she closes her eyes and shakes her head. "I'm fucked."

"What?"

"He took my gun, he took my fucking gun." She takes a deep breath, my eyes shooting up to the end of the alley where I just came from as Dyson's car is pulling up. "I'm in so much trouble."

"Come on." I say helping her sit up. "Stay here, and try to breathe." I use her shoulder for leverage as I stand.

"What happened? Is she alright?" he asks coming around the hood of the car toward me, Tamsin starting to get out of the passenger side.

"Tell her to get back in." I say.

"Fuck you."

"Dyson." It must be my look or my tone but he tells her to and though she hates it she stays in the car. "We don't have a lot of time so just listen, I know you're one of those US V.S THEM, do anything for a blue-brother type of guys—especially when the blue-brother is a sister and you're having a relationship with her." I pause making sure he is paying attention. "He took her gun, if Agent Lachlan finds out he will take her badge."

"What do you need?" he looks to her and then me.

"Have you fired your side arm recently?"

"Yeah, this morning blowing off some steam in the range."

"You have a backup?"

"Of course."

"Give me." He looks at me unsure, cops don't give up their guns—but he does. I pop the clip out, pushing out three rounds and handing them back to him before pushing the clip back in. We can hear the sirens now—not much time. "Don't say anything, go find this guy before anyone else does." I don't say anything else before walking back over to Bo who is beginning to stand.

"What the hell?" she barks as I shove the gun into her holster. I begin pulling off her jacket quickly before taking off my own.

"Put this on and don't argue."

"Lauren—what are you doing?"

"Put it on." This time I bark as she follows my order. "You fired the shots, understand?"

"Lauren,"

"You fired the shots," I repeat my eyes meeting hers. "Dyson and my career are now on the line as well."

"I fired the shots." She says nodding.

* * *

_**Saint Andrew's Hospital—2:02 p.m.**_

"My God, you're beautiful." The words were meant to be a thought not a statement but none the less they are out now.

I stand near the wall, curtain pushed open just enough for me to see her sitting on the edge of the bed with nothing more than her bra, her hair loosely down and no makeup—just natural. I know she'll think I mean this because she is shirtless and while that is a nice plus I mean it overall.

"I—um, meant that professionally?" I chuckle out nervous, rolling my eyes at myself but she smiles, actually smiles for once.

"It's cool, I uh—kind of have that effect on people."

"Do you now?" I raise an eyebrow. "Good to know."

"Not that I am complaining but why are you here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Don't trust the doctors here?"

"I do, but I am—overly cautious—call it a personality flaw."

"Cute." She smiles, eyes moving over me. "I'm good, thank you."

"Well then, when all is said and done I have your jacket in my office." I flash a smile and turn to leave until the sound of her voice brings me to a halt.

"Why?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you do that today?"

"CSIS have a tendency to take badges really easily especially from officers that come from departments with a reputation such as yours." I swallow hard and stare at her. "I think you made a stupid and rookie mistake today that could have gotten you killed. But I also think that was punishment enough, I don't think you deserve to lose your badge—unless it happens again."

"Th—thank you."

"Thank Dyson who is out trying to track down that gun before someone else does." I catch the harshness in my tone. "You don't have your weapon unstrapped if you are chasing someone unless it's in your hand because things like today can happen or it could just fall out without you knowing it and be picked up by some kid."

"I understand Lauren."

"I'm glad." I say through a glare, she thinks I am trying to kick her while she is down, I am not though.

I am telling her because Dyson won't.

I am telling her because she needs to hear it.

I am telling her because I was actually scared for her and I don't know how to handle that.

* * *

_**City Morgue-7:14 p.m.**_

"What are you doing still here?"

I look up from my desk, pulling my glasses off and looking to Hale standing in the doorway of my office.

"Working."

"I thought Lachlan told you to go home."

"He did."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I'm hiding, I messed up today with Kenzi so I'm not in any rush to get home."

"Wanna come to The Dal? Just you and me?"

"No, thank you. I know I need to go make amends I would have an hour ago I just lost track of time."

"Cool, no problem-can I ask you something?" ah, his real reason for stopping by.

"Sure."

"Is Lil Mama planning on leaving me?" his eyes narrow and I am completely taken back by his question—I don't have these discussions.

"Not that I know."

"She has been sorta distant within the past week and I'm just wondering—"

"Hale, I promise you what she is distracted about has nothing to do with you."

"Another dude?" he makes this face and nods.

"No, nothing like that—look I can't tell you but I promise she is happy with you and if anything expect a call tonight to hear her yelling about how awful I am." I give him a soft smile and it seems to sooth him.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem."

* * *

_**Lexington Commons-8:09 p.m.**_

"Hey." I greet softly, tossing my jacket on the desk next to the door along with my keys.

"You're still alive." She says from the couch, beer in hand.

"Yeah, I am."

"Well good." She removes her socked feet from the glass coffee table before placing her beer on it. "That's all I needed to know." She stands up and turns the T.V. off before dropping the remote.

"Kenz a lot happened today."

"Yeah I know a lot was happening with me."

"I wanted to be there for the lunch I swear and just what happened-"

"Tell me what happened then, make me understand."

"I—I can't tell you."

"Then you can suck donkey balls." She brushes passed me going toward the stairs.

"Kenz, come on—tell me how it went."

"Kiss my tiny ass." She barks as she walks up the stairs.

Well-there is always tomorrow.


	3. Collide

_**Chapter Three:**__**Collide**_

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_**Friday**_

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_**City Morgue-10:14 a.m.**_

I hate mornings…

That's the only thought that has seemed to be consistent in my mind since I awoke this morning. Nothing about Kenzi or how I let her down yesterday nor anything about Bo—in any sense.

I think the thought I really wanted to think this morning was that I hate life but something about the sentience just seemed so immature.

Three young boys were dead, three families of God knows how many are morning their loved ones—I had no right to stand here and say my life sucks right now.

I take a gulp of my second cup of coffee of the morning as I walk into the morgue intending to head into my office and look over paper work for the rest of the afternoon but I find the strangest thing—a sheet covered body on my autopsy table—with no one else present.

"Interesting," I grumble to myself walking over to the table, placing my coffee on the side tray before pulling back the sheet to his mid-chest. "Shit."

James Collins is laying in front of me—three shots centered in the middle of his chest.

"Morning." I look up to find Dyson standing in the doorway of my office, shoulder leaning against the wall.

"What is this?"

"What does it look like?"

"You were supposed to find him not kill him." I say as if he didn't know what my intentions were when I sent him off on his little mission yesterday.

"Justifiable homicide."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, that's so." He steps out from my office taking two steps forward. "Took three to the chest myself before I got him, luckily I had my vest on."

"How ironic." I shake my head with a little chuckle having to look away from him and his grin that is just begging to shine through. "Sorry, just you don't seem the type to wear a vest."

"Neither is Bo but I don't see you questioning her."

"I saw her get shot."

"Would you like to see my vest?" his brow furrowing as he takes three steps forward.

"Where's the gun?"

"Gave it back to Bo this morning."

"So you have your own?"

"Yep." His eyes narrowing in on me as he taps his right hand against the holstered weapon three times as if once wouldn't have been enough for me to get the point. "Something to say Doctor Lewis?"

"You already know what I am thinking Detective Thornwood."

"I do, but see here's the thing." His grin finally comes through as he glances around the room before taking another three steps toward me. "I have three slugs in my vest from Bo's gun, Bo's vest has three slugs from her own gun, he has gun residue on his hands and if any attention is called to this issue they are going to realize that the events in the alley don't add up to what they were told—by you."

"You want me to cover up a homicide?"

"A justifiable homicide, all it takes Doc is your signature and it's gone especially with everything going on around here—no one would even think to look at any paperwork." He takes the last two steps, hands resting on the edge of the table. "This guy is a sex offender, raped a sixteen year old girl and shot Bo in the chest three times without any hesitation—are you really that self-righteous to throw away your career, my career-and Bo's for this piece of shit?"

I remain silent glaring into his eyes, that smug grin firmly on his lips that I wouldn't mind slapping right off.

"See I knew you were team player all along."

"Dyson, this is your one and only get out of jail free card—next time you want to get trigger happy I nail your ass to the wall without a second thought."

"You know what Doc," he leans forward, grin turning into a smirk as his eyes settle on my lips. "I bet you have one hell of a mouth in bed." His eyes moving up to mine. "You play this laid back and quite mouse but something tells me you're a top."

"You really want to know the answer to that?" I relax my tone as I lean in to meet him, our faces only three to four inches apart. He makes this sound as his smirk grows—God his ego was severely overinflated. "Then you know what you should do?" my voice a husky whisper.

"What?" he asks leaning in another inch.

"Ask Bo." I smirk coldly as I pull back slowly to stand upright—he is so pissed. I know I shouldn't have gone there—especially since it wasn't true but he needed to be taken down a peg, actually he needed to be taken down several but I don't have the time nor do I care enough.

"Doctor, Doctor, Doctor." He says shaking his head, overly smug and accomplished smirk reverting to a grin that did nothing to hide his irritation. "There is something about you, I don't know what it is yet—I will figure it out though."

"Good luck with that." He lets out a laugh with a shake of his head, his way of admitting he lost the round, so to speak. I watch him closely as he heads for the exit. "Oh and Dyson," he stops but doesn't turn around nor look back. "Don't ever threaten me again."

"Whatever you say Doctor Lewis."

* * *

_**Station Hallway-1:42 p.m.**_

"Well hello Doctor," Does no one remember I have a name? "What are you doing up here?"

"I stopped by to give Detective Walker something." I glance over and smile at her as I hit the down button for the third time, damn elevators.

"Didn't think to stop by and say hi?"

"You guys are busy, I didn't want to disturb you."

"You're never disturbing me." She says in that low, sultry tone she gets while taking two steps to her left so she is in my line of sight and short of turning my back to her I won't be able to avoid looking at her. "Suddenly feeling shy?"

"No," I can't help but laugh softly rolling my eyes at her, more accurately the adorable face she makes when she asks me this. "I just have work to do."

"Well I am on lunch, care to grab a bite?" I raise an eyebrow—it always annoyed me when people used that term, honestly it made no sense to me.

"I can't, I have-"

"Work?"

"Yes." That and I am actively trying to avoid spending more time with you—she doesn't need to know that part of it.

"Okay, fair enough." Finally the elevator door open and she steps aside to allow me in but keeps her hand on the door to keep it from closing. "What about dinner?"

"I will still be working then."

"You don't eat?"

"Hardly." The door tries to close but once again she holds it open and I can't help but look to my left and then right at the two officers waiting to make it to their destinations as well.

"Fine, then a drink."

"Bo."

"It's just a drink Lauren, you'll be surrounded by cops if that makes you feel better."

"Bo, please." I tilt my head to the left trying to indicate the elevator that had occupants other than me as she prevents the doors from closing once again.

"Agree to a drink, I have an hour before I have to punch back in so." She shrugs with this little smirk that I can't help but smile at—she knows she has me, I can tell by the way her lips curve into a smile. "Nine o'clock."

"Fine."

"Nine."

"Bo." I try to sound angry while suppressing a laugh—it doesn't work.

"The things I have to do to get her attention." She says to the young patrol officer next to me who is trying not to let out a laugh.

"Yes ma'am."

"Really, yesterday I had to kidnap her to get her to have coffee with me. Isn't that crazy?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Bo." I raise my eyebrow, the feel of the tops of my cheeks pinking.

"Fine, fine Doctor Grumpy-Pants."

"She has a problem with the word no." I say a few seconds after she finally lets the doors close as I look over to the young officer who looks no older than twenty.

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

_**City Morgue-2:08 p.m.**_

"You know one of the benefits of being an autopsy gremlin is that I am left alone." I say in a sigh as I walk in to find Lachlan standing over the writing desk in the back of the room.

"It appears as if someone has fed you after midnight." He turns around, red folder in his left hand as he taps it against his right while leaning against the desk. "You've been a bad, bad girl."

"Have you come to punish me?" I raise my brow with a smirk.

"Oh Lauren, flirting with me is pointless—I'm well aware of your '_type_'."

"Can I actually help you with something or did you just stop by to make eighties movies references and cheesy porno lines?"

"Covering up murders?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I sigh walking further in.

"Lauren." He says flatly, the sense of amusement he had vanishing as he stands up straight. "It's all right here; you're ruling this justifiable homicide with maybe two words in every column. _**You are. **_The same you who will rewrite an entire page of a report if the color of someone's shoes are recorded as the wrong shade."

"I thought this killer was of upmost importance, and a justifiable homicide by a decorated officer didn't need extensive explanation. My findings backup the detective's."

"Lies of omission are still lies." He tosses the folder on the desk before walking over to me.

"If you had proof to back up your claim you wouldn't be here fishing."

"You Doctor Lewis," he hesitates as his hand cups my cheek making me look over to him. "are playing a very dangerous game." He pulls his hand away and without a further word walks out.

He was right, I was playing a dangerous game-several in fact.

He just had no idea how dangerous.

* * *

_**The Dal-9:03 p.m.**_

"Hey stranger." I say through at hesitant smile as I approach her, I know Dyson is sitting next to her but I chose to pretend he isn't there—I chose to do that a lot lately.

"Hey." She looks up at me with a smile that turns into a smile of a deer-caught in headlights thus suddenly making me feel ten times more awkward than I was to begin with.

"Am I late or early?"

"No, we uh," she fumbles her words as she slides over a bit. "we had plans." She says turning to him who is already in sulky-brooding mode, not that he has many others to pick from.

"Oh yeah? Case stuff?"

"Just being social. Were you leaving?" I answer for her.

"What and miss this?" he's grinning now as he scoots back and maneuvers himself to face us.

"Great." She taps her hands on her lap as she continues to look at him, I can tell she is tense and most likely scowling despite the fact she hasn't looked back at me again. "Why don't we-why don't we all just hangout for a bit, okay? Scootch over Dyson."

"I don't scootch."

"Oh come on, you're one hairless patch of skin away from being a wolf." She chuckles nervously, hands staying on her knees as she turns to me. "I'm sure we can find him a carpet or something." She has the strangest sense of humor. "Yeah, so—we've never done this before huh? Just the three of us," she is so nervous, I don't think I have ever seen her fidget so much. "Like a threesome-not that I've thought about it that way or anything."

I'm pretty sure she has.

I knew I should have said no—or at least just sent her a cancellation text.

This right here is not something I do, I don't do love triangles.

"Well this is fun," Bo lets out in yet another nervous chuckle after a good solid minute of silence.

"Hm," he lets out in between a sip of beer. "If this is Doctor Lewis just being social, we need to do this more often—it's a hoot."

"Well we can't all be as articulate and masterful in the art of grunting as you, Dyson."

"Sometimes it's nice to not have to hear several thousand words for a simple yes or no."

"Whoa guys we're all on the same side here." Bo cuts in as she leans forward handing us each a recently delivered shot. "Okay, so I think we should just do all of these shots."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Are you questioning my loyalty?" I snap, eyes narrowing. He had no place to say anything about my '_team skills'_ after this morning.

"Should we be?"

"We?" Bo lets out through a mixture of a sigh and chuckle, her way of saying don't include me in this.

"And this is what I wanted to avoid." I say softly looking directly at her, he will have his assumptions as to what it means but she knows exactly what it means. "Thanks for the um," I lean forward putting my shot back down on the table. "Fun?"

"Yeah." She lets out in this sad whisper as she watches me get up and I'm sure she watches as I walk away.

I pass Hale and Kenzi sitting at the bar, I could have honestly sat down and had a much needed drink with them but considering Hale was in full '_worry_' mode over Kenzi's new distance and she was still pissed because of my neglecting of her yesterday afternoon I give a polite smile and continue walking toward the exit.

I don't know what I was thinking honestly, I have work and me and her is simply a bad idea.

"Wait up!" I hear her calling from behind me but I just continue through the parking lot to my car, maybe she'll let me go. "Didn't you hear me calling after you?" she asks in a slightly labored chuckle as she comes to a stop behind me.

For a second I don't say anything, I just look down at my key that I have in the lock already—so close.

I don't have to turn around.

"Hey," tone soft as her hand rests on my bicep, I tilt my head to look at her hand for a moment before turning around. "You okay?"

"I am fine Bo, trying to go home."

"Look, about in there-"

"I told you." I don't catch the harshness in my tone before it's too late. "I told you Bo, I don't play games. I don't play the role of mistress, I don't do one night stands and I don't play second choice."

"You don't apparently eat either." She smirks another tiny chuckle only adding to my annoyance.

"I don't do love triangles either." My lips pressing together unconsciously, a way keep me from going on I guess. "You're beautiful Bo and cute and charming and you have this way of being sometimes that makes it impossible not to smile at you, not to think how adorable you are but then there are moments like this where you try and act the same way and it just makes me find you immature."

"You think I'm immature?" her eyebrow raises, a step backward.

"I think you can be. Tonight was a perfect example, you tired so hard to get me to agree to this but then you behave—"

"We were talking and—"

"You didn't think and then you tried to charm your way through it not caring whether or not it made him or myself uncomfortable."

"Okay," she says through a sigh, eyes dropping to the ground as she takes a breath. "You got me there, I was an ass and so was he but that's why I came after you, I mean that should count for something."

"I don't do love triangles."

"You said that," she huffs trying to keep her irritation in check.

"Because it's true, this isn't some television show I don't plan on being dragged around for a few seasons while you get your kicks trying to find yourself."

"I—I don't even know what that means."

"It means I can see you don't know what you want and don't get me wrong I am not some crazy person who thinks one date means we're getting married, I even told you if you weren't committed to him then I wouldn't be opposed."

"Then I'm really not seeing the problem here."

"There is a difference between casually dating two people and playing them. I bet after your little show this afternoon with me you went and had lunch with him. You knew we had a date but you decided to sit and flirt with him until I got here and well you messed up so you tried to make us both play by YOUR rules. Now you're out here trying to smooth this over but I bet you when I drive away you will go back in there and flirt with him and maybe even end up in bed with him—that's your choice Bo but to me that isn't playing the field that's playing the players."

"You don't know me." Words coming through a clenched jaw, her nostrils flaring as she tries to pretend my words have no truth to them.

"I think I see more of you than you would like to admit."

"You're wrong."

"Then prove me wrong."

"I don't owe you anything Lauren."

"You're exactly right Bo, you don't—yet you're standing here desperately trying to justify yourself to me."

"Tonight was a mistake." She lets out looking away from me as she says it; I don't bother to speak but rather just nod in agreement.

* * *

_**Lexington Commons-10:40 p.m.**_

"Jesus!" I jump finding Kenzi sitting on the stool of the kitchen island, back to me and beer in hand. "Sorry, I just didn't expect to see you." I chuckle out slightly embarrassed I had gotten so surprised by her, guess I was more in my thoughts than I had initially thought.

Holding onto the wall I kick off my shoes and then pull off my jacket, I reach out for the light switch but stop short, Kenzi obviously had been sitting her in the dimness of the secondary kitchen over the sink light for a reason.

"How did you beat me back any way?" I ask walking straight for the fridge and pulling out a beer, I was much more of a fan of wine coolers but I was in the mood for an actual drink.

"Doesn't take that long to get here Lauren," a pause as she takes a drink. "Especially when you aren't caught up having a lover's quarrel."

"I wasn't having a lover's quarrel."

"Spat? Argument? Disagreement? Pick any word you would like."

"It was a discussion between-friends."

"Friends?" she snorts, shaking her head as she takes another swig. "Since when do you risk your career for a friend?"

"I don't know what you mean." I lie bringing the bottle to my lips as I walk out of the kitchen and toward the living room.

"Seems your girl has a big mouth, told Hale about what happened yesterday-why you weren't here for me."

"Jesus Kenz, we've been preparing you for that interview for months. You knew everything you needed to know weeks ago and yes, I was a horrible person for not showing up for you but I was busy—"

"Falling for a mark?"

"Don't." I say flatly, eyes meeting hers as she turns to face me.

"**I'm** your sister and **I** needed you to be here for **me**."

"I am here for you!" I didn't intend to yell but intended or not my voice fills the apartment. "Don't you ever dare say I haven't been here for you. I was here to take you off the streets, I was here to get you clean and keep you that way. I was here to make sure no one ever found out about it. I was here the entire time to prepare you for this Godd—" I cut myself off, biting my bottom lip. "I've been here Kenzi and I will always be here for you, I had confidence that even without an hour of me kissing your ass that you would do amazing, I made a judgment call and helped her out."

"You risked your career."

"You don't understand."

"I understand." She slams her bottle down as she jumps off the stool. "You're becoming a damn cliché and falling for her."

"You're one to talk." I snap back, voice rising ever so slightly once again.

"It's not the same."

"Keep telling yourself that." I take the last gulp of my beer which is actually more than half but I do it in one try before setting it down on the coffee table and heading for the stairs. "Congrats on making it through the first round of interviews by the way." I snort as I reach the mid-way point.

* * *

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_**Saturday**_

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_**Lexington Commons-9:53 a.m.**_

"Relax Doctor, this isn't social." She greets me with before I even fully make it out of my building's front door.

She doesn't wait for a response nor does she wait for me to walk over to her, she does however pull the door open before walking around the hood of the car leaving me to close my own door.

I would say it's safe to assume she is still mad about last night.

"Where are we going?"

"In case you haven't noticed it's Saturday-less than twenty-four hours before we find out if Agent Dick-Head was right. We all have lists of possible suspects, I'm checking out the North-East end of government funded group homes. Hale has the shelters while Dyson and Tamsin split to take the North-West end."

"And the other detectives?"

"Captain is subtly working her media contacts to find out if they've heard anything and she called in off duty uniformed to hit the streets particularly around neighborhoods high with kids."

"This guy isn't going to be some bum off the street Bo."

"Probably not, thus why we are checking out the halfway houses. Beat cops can't do much other than be out in force and assist if we need them."

"Alrighty then."

* * *

_**Auxier Halfway House-2:39 p.m. **_

"Almost five hours down the drain and nothing." She huffs, shaking her head as she walks up the sidewalk to meet me. "Can't freaking believe we've seen over a hundred and fifty people and not one single person meets the general description, I repeat general."

"I don't know what to tell you Detective, too young or old or the weight discrepancy not to mention the ones who were sick or strung out, hardly the material to carry out anything beyond a stick up and even then half of them would probably collapse before their getaway." I grumble, running my hand through my hair as I look over at the building.

"I know just at this point I'd even take a false identification just to feel like we haven't wasted nearly five hours with nothing to show for it."

"Then we would waste even more time." My tone flat as I begin toward the car.

"Lauren, both of us can't be moody here otherwise nothing will ever get done."

"Bo, now it's the time." I glance back at her as I get into the car.

She thinks this is about her or our fight last night—it's not.

She doesn't understand and it's not her place to.

Kenzi was right last night I was becoming severely attached to Bo at a scary rate and I had not even realized it.

I could say it was the fact that we've been in multiple dangerous situations and now we are being forced to be partners of a sort but that wasn't it—not completely though I know logically it does add onto it. It was more than me finding her attractive and funny and charming—it was—well honestly I don't really know definitively what it was that seemed to be drawing me to her at an alarming rate.

"Is it time for that bonding thing again?" she brings me out of my thoughts as she asks this, pulling her door shut before looking over to me. "Because I've actually managed to find time to think about what else I could share."

"No." I shake my head.

"Really? Because this really feels like one of those moments."

"This feels like you should drive to wherever we have to go next."

She nods, her feelings look hurt but she gets settled and ready to drive.

I didn't want to be mean and I wasn't trying to be but everything was becoming a little much at the moment. All of my worlds seemed to be colliding at once, past and present, family and work—not to mention the fact we were no closer to finding a suspect now than we were three days ago.

"My father is dead and I don't speak to my mother."

"I'm sorry?" I heard her I just didn't register her words at first having been deep within my own thoughts.

"This life—this job wasn't supposed to be for me. I was a small town country girl and I was going to be a house wife with kids and a husband."

"A house wife?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well maybe I would have had a job at a market or something."

"Pretty big change there."

"Yeah well life had other plans." she looks out of her window for a moment, it's more to hide her face than anything. "I was sixteen when I got kicked out of the house, they were—are highly religious in a weird, strict and scary way. I don't blame them though."

"Because you are," I hesitate, I honestly don't know what she is. "Because you like women?"

"No." she snorts out a chuckle. "Though I'm sure if they had known that part they would have tried an exorcism or something too." She glances over at me and I do the best I can to read her despite her damn sunglasses. "My high school sweetheart, probably the boy I was going to be the housewife to-he um, died."

"How did they blame you for that?"

"Kyle, that was his name." a quick glance toward me. "Kyle was what I said and I was the same for him. We were young and in love and stupid—we one night pulled into our favorite spot in the Hassle's field and started making out and well one thing led to another. I thought I was in love, that I was going to spend my life with him and it wasn't like other kids, it wasn't some cheap pull in and screw in the backseat, that field had meaning for us you know?" I just nod though I'm not sure if she catches it or not. "I still to this day don't know what happened or rather how it happened but he was driving me home and—I never saw the other car. I was looking at him and then I saw lights on his face before I was waking up in the hospital."

"He died?"

"Yeah, instantly they said."

"But that isn't your fault Bo."

"My parents didn't share your opinion, they said a lot of things to me the next morning when I was allowed to return home but the main theme was that I was evil, that it happened because I seduced him before marriage—you know the deal."

"That isn't true though." I say softly, my hand going over her forearm that was resting on the console between us. Her attention flies to me and I almost jerk back but something inside myself says not to.

I wet my lips with my tongue and swallow the lump in my throat, what am I supposed to do?

Should I leave it at that? Should I try and comfort her? Should I ask questions that she obviously doesn't want to answer? Should I do my half of this bonding deal that I have set in motion? Should I lie about my end? Should I continue down this slippery slope and tell her another something about myself?

"Kenzi is my sister." She looks over at me again with a look that I can't describe, it's a look that is pretty much calling me a liar while condemning me for making light of her sharing. "Really, well my foster sister."

"You were a foster kid?"

"Mm-hm, my parents died when I was eight in a car accident and I didn't have anyone to take me in so I went to foster care. You know, the same old sob story I'm sure you've seen a hundred times before." I shrug, I guess more for my own benefit than hers. "Kenzi came into the house on my last year there, she was six and I was eighteen at the time."

"I thought they kicked you out when you hit eighteen?"

"They do, but the lady was nice and so long as I helped I was able to stay. Kenzi was angry and a trouble maker—basically who she is now minus some of the anger. We just sort of fell together after a bit but it wasn't long after that, that I had moved on with school—I kept in touch though, you know visiting on weekends and whatnot."

"So how did you two end up living together?"

"Mrs. Daviau had cancer, when I was twenty-one she could no longer care for the children so they were being slowly sent away, Kenzi was the last one and I-I ended up taking her in."

"You adopted her?" she looks over to me as we pull to a stoplight but I look away, I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it sounded but the hint of amusement doesn't exactly comfort me into continuing. "I'm sorry it's just—different than what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. I mean maybe you two were just roommates or met at some odd end job or maybe even dated I guess."

"She is twelve years my junior."

"And ten Hale's but look at them."

"Well I don't normally date younger and certainly not someone that much younger."

"Why not?"

"Maturity issues."

"I'm not sure if you mean her or myself?"

"Honestly," I pause turning to look at her as she glances over at me, the light turning green but she wants an answer. "Both."

"I'm not immature."

"You can be at times given certain situations."

"Why is it you have such a low opinion of me?"

"I don't have a low opinion of you, I promise you I don't." I glance over at her but oddly enough her eyes are locked on the street. "I just don't like some of the choices you make."

"Well they are my choices and you don't have to like them."

"I know." Whether or not she understands the subtext woven into these past few statements is beyond the point. "Where are we going now?"

"Back to the church first, need to talk to that priest before we meet with the first victim's family." She glances over at me and I guess I am making a face. "I promise I'll behave."

"We'll see."

* * *

_**City Morgue-6:21 p.m.**_

I can't help but chuckle to myself as I walk in to find Lachlan sitting in my desk chair, leaning back and reading yet another file of mine.

"Comfortable?"

"Mm," he doesn't bother looking up as I walk in and take a seat in my guest chair. "Enjoy playing field officer with your new girlfriend?"

"You were the one who instructed her to utilize me on Thursday, you can't blame her for thinking it's a smart idea."

"No of course not, probably the only viable thought she has had this week. But I can and do have a problem with the fact of the relationship you two are engaging in."

"There is no relationship." I lean back in the chair, left leg folding over the right. "Even if there was, it would be of no concern to you Agent."

"Now Lauren, we both know that is a lie."

"Why exactly are you in my office Connor?"

"It seems as though your girlfriend's boyfriend has quite an interesting theory."

"I'm glad for him."

"Well it was due but it is wrong, then again if they had an actual profile to work off of then maybe there wouldn't be such a discrepancy."

"It's not my place nor my job."

"Another lie," he shakes his head and makes this 'tisking' sound with his mouth as he sits upright. "Certainly hope you visited the confessional while you were at the church with the way you're racking up these venial sins. What is it three within a matter of a minute?"

"I repeat what exactly are you doing here Conner?"

"Don't call me Connor." He stands up and extends the folder toward me, my eyes moving from his to the folder and back before I take it. "You'll be quite interested to know what his theory is."

"I'm sure I will." I watch him as he walks away before looking down at the folder.

* * *

_**Third Floor-Homicide Unit—6:49 p.m.**_

"What is this?" I bark tossing the folded down the first desk in the middle row, luckily Dyson is standing beside it pretending to run the place.

"I don't know, what is it?" that stupid grin of his.

"We have maybe nineteen hours left and you are turning this entire investigation on this man?" my voice is still above its normal tone, I can hear that but I don't have the will nor desire to lower it.

"It is a logical choice."

"Bullshit."

"Lauren." I hear Hale call my name from behind me.

"This man, Christian Alexander Hendrix is a quote unquote disciple of Carter Cane."

"Exactly why he is a suspect." He says, grin in place as he looks around the room.

"Do you know what Cane did? He liked girls between sixteen and twenty seven, all of which were virgins. His disciples would follow that M.O. they would not differ."

"Maybe he decided he wanted a following of his own." His eyes now locked with mine.

"That is like saying a Manson follower is suddenly eating young gay men, it's not going to happen. These people are sick and disturbed but most of all they are devoted, if they decide to take their obsession to the next level they will follow their master's M.O. NOT create their own."

"Why don't you leave the policing to the police?"

"It doesn't even matter what you think because you aren't lead detective."

"Lauren, this is the first viable lead that we've come across." Bo says as she folds her arms over her chest leaning against the desk next to us, eyes dancing between the two of us.

"No, it isn't." I know my tone is harsh, I know everyone in the office including a few patrol officers are staring but I don't have time to care about that now. "Send some uniforms but do not throw everything at him Bo, he is not who we are looking for."

"Go back downstairs and play with your bodies, Doctor and let us do our jobs." I hear Dyson's words but my eyes stay locked with Bo's, she looks like a little kid again caught between her fighting parents.

"Lauren—"

"You've got to be kidding me right now Bo."

"Sorry blondie, cops stick together." I hear Tamsin from behind me causing me to turn and look back at Dyson who has the smuggest smile I've ever seen, as if Bo siding with him is proving something other than that some poor child's body is going to be found tomorrow night.

"Don't do this Dyson." I lower my tone but it comes out as a near growl.

"Do what? Follow a lead that will end up saving this next kid's life?"

"It will end up killing this next boy!" I yell taking an unconscious step forward stopping when my thighs hit the edge of the desk.

"Go," he yells, hands slamming on the desk as he leans forward, Evony's voice in the background calling him. "Back downstairs or go home, I don't give a shit but get out of my way!"

"You are going to get this next boy killed!"

"Escort this woman back downstairs." Dyson tells a nearby patrol officer who looks fearful and hesitant so his steps out from behind Dyson and toward me are slow. "She needs to calm down."

"Don't touch her." Bo says flatly-I don't need her help-I don't want it.

"Don't do this Dyson." I plead. "This isn't about one upping the other in front of Bo or trying to show off, there is a child's life at stake."

"Remove her." He repeats.

"This one is on you Dyson—you just killed this kid." I shove the folder across the desk at him as I turn and walk past both Bo and Hale along with another two beat cops who decided to stop and see the commotion.

"Lauren wait." She calls after me but I don't stop nor do I look back. "Lauren Jesus fuckin' Christ, wait a damn minute."

"Why don't you go back and help your boyfriend." I snap pressing the button for the elevator.

"That is out of line." She snaps right back. "It is a viable lead and without it we have shit. We need something."

"So bad that you would chase something so far off the mark?" I spin around, eyes locking with hers. "You would follow his lead just so you can say you feel better that you tried? Not take any damn responsibility?"

"That isn't what this is about." She says as I start to step onto the elevator.

"Bullshit!" I snap stepping right back out. "You're supposed be the Goddamn lead detective and you're letting him run things because he rocks your world?" I snort rolling my eyes. "Or is it because you're so damn chicken-shit to make a judgment call of your own?"

"So what?! I should just side with you to prove a point?!"

"NO! I don't give a shit Bo, pick his-pick mine-or hell make up your own but just make a damn choice because it's what you believe and not because you're fucking him or want to fuck me. You are a damn detective, you are supposed to be leading this not him!"

"I support his decision."

"Then don't come crying to me tomorrow."

"Where are you going?" she barks walking up to me, my hand going out keeping the elevator from closing.

"I'm going home."

"There is still work to be done, if you're so damn worried about it, shouldn't you be staying to help?"

"I'll be here tomorrow for the cleanup Bo, after all that is all I am good for, just ask your boyfriend."

I step onto the elevator, her hand slamming against the door to keep it open. She is fuming, I've seen her angry—angry at me as well but not like this.

I glance past her and see the various officers who have taken an interest in us. My eyes setting on Lachlan off in the distance who is just standing there statuesque staring at me—at her-at us.

Seems the more this week goes the more me and her become an '_us' _in various meanings of the word—none of which seem to be a good thing.

I look back at her, our eyes meeting as they always seem to do.

I look people in the eyes normally, it's professional and proper not to mention it can tell you a lot about a person but I never liked to keep a gaze for long periods of a time—with her though my eyes always just seemed to find hers. Like that was where they were supposed to be.

Her lips part-another insult—another line of defense of herself-another defense of him?

She remains silent though as she moves back a step before pulling her hand away letting the door come to a close.

* * *

.

.

_**Sunday**_

.

.

_**Lexington Commons-2:49 a.m.**_

I bring myself upright slowly, tilting my head side to side trying to work the kink out that has apparently come from falling asleep with my head on the arm of the couch.

Drawing a deep breath I run my hands through my hair and look over at the television, the screen a bright blue which annoys my sleep sensitive eyes. Looking down at the coffee table full of folders and papers—that's right I was doing research and the interrogation tape must have come to an end.

I look around the apartment—what woke me?

My thought just nearly finishing as I hear a pound on the door.

"Kenzi?" I call out as I lazily push myself off of the couch and shuffle toward the door. "Did you forget your keys?"

It's not Kenzi I find standing at my door but rather Bo.

She's just standing there staring at me with this look of innocence—of pain. She looks damp but not wet—maybe snow?

"We—um—we found another body." Her voice breaking every other letter, jaw trembling—for a lack of a better word. "It was-a little girl this time"

"What?" her words jerking my mind toward full consciousness. "A little girl at this hour? Are you sure that—"

"It's our killer." She nods, eyes dropping to my feet.

"Let me get dressed." I look down at myself, scrub pants, socks and a tee-shirt are not exactly the proper attire for crime scenes.

"Agent Lachlan doesn't want you there, had your assistant bag and tag everything until morning."

"Why?"

"Something about what happened tonight, Hale and Tamsin are at the scene me and Dyson were sent home as well."

"Then why are you here?"

"I um," she looks up at me with this inquisitive look. "I don't honestly know. I was driving and driving and then I was going to go home to look over some of my notes but I found myself here."

"Do you want to come in?"

"I don't know." She gives this little shrug, features so tender.

"Come in Bo." I '_order'_ as I step aside and gesture toward the couch. "Did you want something to drink?" I ask as I push the door closed.

"No." she shakes her head as she takes a seat. I debate sitting on the loveseat but something about that screams childish and petty. "They aren't about this case." Tone flat as I notice her looking down at the files.

"Taking on two cases at once—you really are Superwoman."

"Not really," I lean down closing the folders before taking a seat next to her. "Was checking on some things."

"I don't know why I am here."

"I can see that." My eyes dancing over her face looking for some sort of clue as to what she is looking for from me.

"Dyson is holding his ground that he wants to go full force after this guy, now more than before."

"Well, I think I made my feelings perfectly clear on that."

"You did." She nods, hands on her knees as her eyes stay on the cover of the light green folder. "Why—how are you so sure? How can you be so damn sure that this isn't guy?" she looks over at me, eyes especially shiny—I think she has tears threatening to fall but the lack of light is preventing me from being sure.

"I told you."

"But how? What makes you so damn sure about this?"

"Bo this isn't bonding time, I'm not doing this with you now." I stand up with the intent of going to get a glass of water but her hand on my wrist stops me. "Tell me why you are so afraid to make a decision on your own and I'll tell you what you want to know." I look down at her, I know she is far from innocent but sometimes she gets this look in her eyes that tell me otherwise. "Okay then," I raise an eyebrow after a several heartbeats of silence.

"I'm afraid that what everyone thinks is right, that I don't belong in this job."

"I don't think that."

"Bullshit." She snorts, hand finally leaving my wrist as I take a seat. "You said it tonight, you've been saying it since the first day I met you and maybe you're right."

"You may not be brilliant or have super power instincts or be the most objective—"

"Is there a but coming because I really think I need to hear a but soon otherwise this is a horrible pep talk."

"You might not be brilliant but you're smart and you do have instincts and that heart that keeps you from staying fully objective is what makes you, you. I see it Bo, when you aren't trying to impress people you are pretty impressive." I smile softly as a grin pulls at the corner of her mouth. "You try and over prove things to people and in doing so you mess yourself up. But I've seen you, in the office the other day you knew what I was talking about before they did. I watched you all day question person after person asking questions that most wouldn't think to ask."

"Careful Doc, almost sounds like you're giving me a compliment." Her lips fixing in a gentle smile, her eyes actively avoiding mine.

"I'm just telling you what I see."

"I'm scared that I'm going to make a call and be wrong."

"But what if you're not? Bo you let everyone else tell you what should be done and—I'm not your mother and I'm not your boss so my opinion doesn't mean much—"

"It means more than you know." Her eyes finally meeting mine and for a brief moment I forget what I am thinking.

"I think you have the potential to be great if you would stop running from it." I say but she doesn't have a response so we just sit here in silence for solid minute—maybe two, I never seem to have a good grasp of time when I am with her—watching her.

"So," she taps her knees, looks back down at the table and softly sniffles. "Who is Cassidy Dupont?"

"What?" I let out as I feel this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Who gave you that name?"

"Relax Doc," she looks at me, confusion riddling her features. "I saw her picture in the file before you closed it. She was pretty,"

"She was beautiful." I didn't mean to say it so harshly.

"Okay."

"She was my first—"

"Love?"

"Girlfriend and also my first partner so to speak. I was assigned to her but I was still a rookie—"

"Rookie?"

"I mean it as a novice not how you use the term." I swallow the lump in my throat. "I ignored protocols and we developed a relationship while working together to catch a serial killer."

"Sounds familiar." She whispers, brow furrowing-slight sense of disappointment maybe.

"Yeah, only thing is she is dead now."

"Was it your fault?"

"Yes," I admit for the first time aloud, tears welling in my eyes. "I was supposed to meet her at her place but I had gotten caught up in work, I was sitting in my office determined to solve this problem while she was dying. The best part was the case I was trying to solve wasn't even the one that we were working on, it was another one that had caught my eye."

"You couldn't have known."

"It was my job know."

"Lauren you're a medical examiner not a cop."

"What?" I look up at her through tear filled eyes. "Oh, yeah—right." I chuckle through a sigh. "She is the victim that didn't scream, the one I was talking about-"

"During the lecture."

"Yeah." I nod. "We had a fight and she was forced to take a day off and I wasn't so—at any point in time I could have went to visit her, it was a stupid fight but I had my pride until that afternoon when I had thought that maybe it wasn't worth it-then my attention got peaked by the case." I shrug, tearing my eyes away from hers once again. "A stupid, insignificant case at that."

"Lauren," another whisper as she reaches out and rests her hand over mine. "You could not have known."

"I know, logically I know that I could not have known what was going to happen or what was happening but the part of me that felt for her-the part of me that," my voice trailing as I slowly turn my hand over within hers. "That ignores logic when it comes to my feelings for you—doesn't."

"Well I happen to love that part of you," she breathes out, eyes watching our fingers intertwine.

"This can't happen Bo," I say softly and I swear I mean it but there is little to no conviction to my words, what further protest I had floating away when her eyes come to meet mine.

"Why?"

"For so many reasons." She leans in just a little and I don't mean to but so do I—it's this pull-it's always like gravity with her—inevitable almost.

"There's more to me than what you know."

"I know that Bo," leaning in just a bit more but she doesn't move, her eyes dance over my face as she draws in this deep breath and just holds it. "They say the definition of insanity is repeating the same action while expecting a different result-I've been here before."

"No," she shakes her head ever so slightly causing my gaze to drop to her lips momentarily. "You've never been here before," her free hand cupping my tear moistened cheek. "Neither have I." her whisper trailing off as soft lips find mine.

It's so soft and gentle with these subtle traces of yearning and need that I cannot quite explain. It's not what I thought it would be—it different on so many levels and I need this—maybe she sees that or maybe she feels the same terrifying feeling I feel.

It's sweet—amazing-warm-welcoming—gentle-but most of all it confirms what I knew all along.

I pull back slowly, my forehead resting against hers as my own free hand cups her cheek—God I wish this wasn't so difficult.

"We can't," I keep my eyes shut as I whisper this but all the while I lean into her touch.

"Okay."

"I mean it Bo."

"I know."

She leans back in-maybe I lean back in-maybe we both do.

This time it is very different-very much what I had expected-except I hadn't expected my own reaction to it.

The second her lips cover mine her hands move into my hair, mine wrapping around her waist to rest on the middle of her back. Her soft lips nearly attacking mine and I have never begged for punishment as much as I was in the moment.

Her tongue immediately slipping passed my lips and finding my own all too willing tongue. It's a hungry duel for dominance, a '_proper_' kiss from a lover when you needed to lose yourself-then I remember she isn't a lover-she can't be.

The passion of the kiss quickly dying with me as that thought reminds me of reality.

Mind no longer engulfed with the soft feel of her kissable lips. Nor the sweet taste of her mouth. Nor the feel of her slender yet skillful hands entangled in my hair.

No, sadly my mind was back in this shit-hole that was reality.

"I can't do this," it comes out in a labored whisper as I jerk back from her, quickly I stand running my hand through my hair while taking an excessively large breath. "You're welcome to stay on the couch, in fact I would prefer it considering I know if you go home you won't actually get any rest-you need your rest." I rush my words as I begin walking away.

"Lauren," the sound of my name leaving her lips pulling at my already worn heartstrings but I don't turn around.


	4. Connecting The Dots

_**Chapter Four: Connecting The Dots **_

.

_**(Bo's POV)**_

.

.

.

_**Lexington Commons—6:47 a.m.**_

"Shit." I breathe out as I begin stretching before I bother opening my eyes, an odd stiffness in my back accompanying the sluggish feel that is keeping its claws in not only my mind but body as well.

I roll over burying my face in the cushion, it smells like her.

I can't help but smile to myself, the sight of her-the smell of her—the thought of her-hell even the mention of her—I've never had this before, it's ridiculous to me that amongst everything happening and the fact I think she may be slightly bi-polar—I just can't help but smile with her, but yearn to be near her.

I take another deep breath, the scent of her filling my nose. It's the smell of a musky vanilla, vanilla itself smelled like something you baked with but whatever she wore was sexy, welcoming. If I ever managed to talk to her without it turning into a fight or stories of childhood horrors I would have asked exactly what it was.

Starting to feel like one of the stalkers I'd arrest I roll onto my back, eyes opening to stare at her ceiling.

I can't exactly explain what I'm doing here but I can definitely say it's frustrating-yet wonderful.

It's a horrible thing to say at a time like this I know that and a part of me is secretly loathing myself for this but—I can't help how I feel when I am with her—when I'm around her.

Apart from horrible I also know it's crazy considering up until this week we've had six encounters with one another. There is just something about her—about the way I feel when I'm with her.

"Did you finally get some sleep?"

I hear her voice and I look around but don't see her. Rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands I sit up and look around before finally finding her standing in the kitchen leaning against the island, Elmo coffee mug in hand—that's different.

"Morning." I say, that being all my mind can manage at the moment. Well that and '_Shit, you even look beautiful even at this hour?_', but something tells me after last night that would be ill-advised. "I'm sorry I fell asleep I wasn't going to but—"

"Please." She shakes her head before taking a sip. "I told you too, I could see the signs of exhaustion beginning to set in. You need to take proper care of yourself Bo."

"I do."

"Mm-hm, that's why you have probably up until last night slept an hour a night?"

"No." She is right of course-normally is.

"What are you on?" she raises an eyebrow while taking another sip. She isn't cold but there is a chill between us—different than normal.

"I'm not."

"Bo, please."

"Just caffeine pills," I hesitate as I run my hands through my hair while letting out a yawn. "Over the counter, one hundred percent legal."

"Still not healthy."

"Well I'll be sure to consult my physician on my next visit." I smirk hoping to pull something other than an unreadable look. "Which is in about ten days past never but," I trail off with a chuckle but again there is nothing.

"I made coffee, bagels and bacon—not exactly sure what you eat in the morning. I can also make eggs, I would have made you some when I made my own but you were out cold so I thought better not to."

"Never expected you to be the cooking type."

"I'm not, it annoys me to no end I would much rather eat take out or nothing at all but considering I was raising a nine year old girl I had to suck it up and learn."

"Oh okay." That's all I can think of to say.

She is very short and direct. I mean she normally is, she was never one to talk for the point of talking and I think she has a vendetta against actual small talk but this is different. It's civil but yet kind of like '_get the fuck out'_.

I don't know what to do or say-I never really know what to do or say with her.

I mean with Dyson it's easy I just have to be sexual and ninety-nine percent of my problems are solved, I mean I guess that would work with her too-if she wasn't ready to punch me every time I try and get close to her.

It's all very odd to me, to meet someone who doesn't technically want me—even if just for sex.

I'm all too aware of the fact the people don't want ME. They want what I am good for which is really only one thing—well unless you listen to her compliments in between insults.

"Bo about last night,"

Oh shit, oh shit-show her your tits—no, that won't work—um-what do I do?

"Yeah?" Brilliant Bo, that's the best you could come up with?

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not." The words leave my mouth before I know what I've said, they seem to stump her though and for the first time she makes an expression. It's an inquisitive expression but one none the less.

"I don't get that way normally."

"I know that."

"And the kiss shouldn't have happened."

"Maybe—but do you regret it?" I hold my breath as I gaze into her eyes waiting for an answer.

"I want to," she swallows before looking down as she places her mug on the island top. "But no, I don't regret it."

"Good." I want to smile from ear to ear like an idiot. I want to do a cartwheel or something I can actually do but I don't move and just give her a soft smile, she returns it but hers is-sad.

"I'm going to go upstairs and grab a couple of things before we head out, I think it would be best if we take our own cars."

"Sure." I nod, she is worried about people thinking something is going on between us.

Honestly I don't know what the big deal is since in the big picture of things we don't work together as in together. She was on a different floor in a different department in a whole other sector, she wasn't my partner and she wasn't my boss nor am I hers, so this irrational fear of people thinking something is going on is a bit weird.

Maybe it has to do with that Cassidy girl.

I flash another soft smile as I watch her walk to and then up the stairs, she didn't have the most pronounced curves in history but what she had was quite wonderful.

Once she is out of sight I throw my legs over the edge getting ready to put my shoes on but my eyes catch the table full of folders. This deep curiosity pulling at me, just begging me to open one or two folders up and take a peek.

Would she forgive me if she knew I looked?

Why exactly did I want to look?

Would I be able to forgive myself if I looked?

Taking a breath I glance over my shoulder making sure she isn't coming, my hand slowly reaching out to flip open that green folder I saw Cassidy's picture in.

"I'm home—you." Kenzi says once her eyes set in on me, luckily I had heard the footsteps approaching and dropped my hand to my shoes before she had opened the door completely.

"Hey Kenz," I smile as I step into my left shoe.

Me and this girl were friends, close actually up until recently. I had spent three to four days a week with her for the past few months considering she has Hale pussy-whipped on her but I wasn't complaining, she fits in perfectly-until suddenly when she doesn't answer texts nor really participate in a conversation.

"Where is Lauren?" she throws her keys on the table, scowl fixed on me.

"Upstairs finishing getting ready."

"You stay the night?"

"I did."

"Why?"

"You practicing at being a cop?" I chuckle slipping into my other shoe but she doesn't smile. "I fell asleep on the couch while I was waiting for the snow to die down."

"Good." She says flatly before abruptly walking for the kitchen without so much as another word.

"Hey, have I done something to piss you off?" I ask as I push myself off of the couch and start toward her. She says nothing, just looks at me and takes a bite of a piece of bacon. "I mean it just seems like you're pissed at me lately."

"Wonder where you got that idea Sherlock." She snorts going for another strip.

"So I haven't been imagining it." I nod, well at least I know I haven't gone completely crazy. "Look, I know that as Lauren's sister it's your job to be over protective but I promise I have nothing but good intentions." I could laugh at myself, I sound like a guy in the 1800's asking for permission to date someone's daughter.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." She snaps, dropping her half eaten piece back onto the plate.

"If you have something to say Kenz, come on out with it."

"I know things Bo," she says flatly and I don't mean to chuckle but I do. It was just how she said it and the way she looked when she did, it made me think of that '_I see dead people'_ line that got played out a while back. "You think this is a joke?"

"No, I'm sorry it's just—no I don't." I remind myself that not only do I like this girl but she is also Lauren's baby sister.

"Lauren has been through enough, she doesn't need your drama and sure as hell doesn't need your issues."

"My issues?"

"Yeah, you're self-homophobia." She says it so coldly while looking into my eyes, a weight sinking in my stomach—if she was anyone else I may have—no, I would have slapped her. "Yeah, know all about that Bo-Bo."

"You know nothing about that." I snap.

"Oh but I do, also know that apart from one night stands you've never dated a woman. In fact other than Dyson you haven't really had any relationship and let's be honest you and Dyson were always on again off again."

"So because I've only had one long lasting relationship I can't like your sister?"

"Because you're immature, run when there is a problem, can't commit and oh yeah, have a little thing called internalized homophobia. I know all about that Bo, last thing Lauren needs is to let her guard down with you and then suddenly have you running for the hills trying to make her feel like shit for her lifestyle choices."

"You—"

"Know nothing about it, yeah you said." She stares at me, this coldness in her eyes. "Stay away from my sister-in regards to personal matters."

I clench my jaw, eyes narrowing. The little voice in the back of my head reminding me of who she was-of why she was saying what she was saying.

Dyson and his big mouth-his need to win.

"Tell Lauren I'll see her at work." I mumble out, the feeling of tears rushing over me as I quickly turn and head for the door.

* * *

_**Third Floor-Homicide Unit-10:22 a.m.**_

"You see this fucking bullshit?" Tamsin growls storming into the '_office'_ grabbing everyone's attention. "Fucking peace of shit pricks gave this fucker and fucking name."

"Fuck a vowel, can I buy a clean word?" Hale smirks leaning back in his chair, tossing his pen down on his desk as he brings his hands behind his head. "My ears are childlike baby, keep it PG."

"What are you talking about?" Dyson asks twisting around in his seat.

"The Montreal Boogeyman."

"What kind of lame ass shit is that?" Detective Burke chimes in from the back corner.

"This guy sneaks into children's bedrooms, takes them without anyone ever hearing or seeing a thing. Takes these terrified little kids without a trace and drowns them before dumping them on the street for the whole world to gawk over-I think it's a disgustingly true name for him." Lauren's voice silencing the entire workspace, even Evony who had been leaning in the doorway of her office having an ashamed look—that was near impossible to do.

"It's just a bit of cop humor." Burke chimes back in.

"Shut the fuck up asshole." Tamsin barks tossing the newspaper down on her desk before taking a seat.

"Oh, look at everyone playing nicely—touching." Agent Dick-Head adds as he walks around Lauren to come stand behind me, leaning against the window.

Fucker had a weird thing for me—for Lauren.

"Late last night or to be technical early this morning something very unique happened."

"You got laid." Dyson mutters under his breath earning a laugh from Burke and Rutherford.

"Non-team players get booted from the team." I say, shooting him a scowl.

"Like me or don't I don't really give a shit Dyson—or anyone else for that matter." She glares never once breaking eye contact with him. "It's not going to change the facts that we all need each other at the moment to stop this guy and to me that is more important than pissing contests."

"Go on Doctor Lewis." Evony says, her word is law around here so I doubt we'll hear another peep.

"Up until this morning, Clayton Paul, Alexander Thomas and Arron Samuel stood as our victims. All white males under the age of nine and above the age of five. After confirmed findings and ruling out all other possible causes drowning was ruled C.O.D. all of this setting a clean, clear cut type. His M.O. was as follows, would break into the house undetected, take the boy without being seen or leaving a trace of evidence. Then he would proceed to drown them before dumping their bodies, with me so far?"

"Do we know exactly how long he is keeping them alive for?" I ask leaning back in my seat.

"No, as of now there is no set time, it was anywhere from two hours to five hours. Now we have a problem, the victim last night was Rebecca Brennan, a Hispanic female who was only four years of age. She was killed and dumped within an hour and a half of her abduction."

"Further supporting Hendrix as a prime suspect." Dyson adds, that damn grin of his firmly in place.

"Yeah, but didn't the Doc say he would only go for sixteen plus?" Hale to the rescue.

"Paul, Thomas and Samuel make three boys obviously, are we thinking maybe he's gonna go for three girl's now?" I ask.

"It's possible, I mean this isn't common. Serial killers are predictable to a fault, it's what keeps them safe for so long but it is also their downfall. His type was set this kill-makes no sense. Perhaps like you said he will go for another two girls, but the difference in age and ethnicity—there is something here that we aren't seeing."

"We've missed something." I toss my pen on my desk as I lean forward, heavy sigh escaping me.

"Look we'll take this into consideration thanks." Dyson says practically dismissing her. "What we're going to do is pound the pavement heavy looking for Hendrix, we find him and this is over."

I take a deep breath, I want to say something but I remain silent.

I feel her stare on me but I can't stand the thought of looking up at her at the moment.

* * *

_**First Floor-Station Gym-4:47 p.m.**_

"You're going to fuck up your hands like that."

I look over at him as he leans against the boxing ring as if he's posing for playgirl—smug fuck.

"I got it, thanks." I turn my attention back to the heavy bag in front of me, my right jabs purposefully landing on the triple strips of white tape keeping the insides from spilling out.

"Why so grumpy?"

"I'm not grumpy." I'm pissed.

"Is this about last night?" AND this morning dick-head-oh AND running your mouth to Kenzi.

"I don't know." Three jabs before a left-hook. He was right though, no tape or gloves-I was going to feel it later but I wanted to feel the pain right now—keeps me focused.

"She needs to be taken down a notch Bo, you know that—shit you said it yourself."

"Months ago!" I snap spinning around to face him. "You don't know her."

"Neither do you." He reminds me-I really don't-not well enough to fight for her like this. "Look Bo," his tone softens as he takes the five steps toward me, reaching out as his hand cups my cheek. "This isn't even about just that, you know that I am right."

"But-Dyson if this guy—"

"Shh." His thumb lightly going over my lips. "Bo, you know when it comes to these things I am better—you just can't do this part of the job."

"Y—yeah." I whisper and nod, swallowing back the hurt.

"Just trust me." He leans in kissing my forehead before turning and walking away.

I watch as he walks away, this hurt festering in the depth of my chest. Turning my attention back to the heavy bag.

Maybe he was right-I should just trust him and follow his lead-I normally do.

But Lauren said-Lauren I haven't known for over five years. She doesn't know me at all.

Then why do I trust her? Why do I feel like I can believe in her? Why is it she makes me feel like I can believe in myself? Why do I feel like this isn't right?

Bo-side with Dyson-you are safe here with him unlike with her.

This isn't right….

* * *

_**Third Floor-Homicide Unit-5:20 p.m.**_

"Go for a swim?" Tamsin smirks as I walk into the '_office_', towel in hand.

"Listen up," I let out causing the five looking over to me waiting-shit. "Dyson has a theory that this Hendrix is our man I say good work for actually coming up with something, Dyson and Tamsin you two continue to peruse this avenue. Burke and Rutherford you've contributed shit to this investigation I suggest you step it up or find yourself replaced but until that happens redo the perve-search, look for anyone within the criteria and start banging on doors-get the uniforms to help you if you need them."

"You're kidding right?" Burke asks look around.

"I am lead detective, I sat back and let Dyson run this in which we've turned up with shit so maybe it's time I actually ran things the way I see fit. Now get on your shit." I say making sure to keep my back straight and jaw tight.

They stare at me and I'm sure mentally call me some names but soon enough they realize I'm not joking. Tamsin gets up with a laugh and Dyson follows though he makes sure I see his '_we're going to talk about this' _look. The other two assholes follow them out—I guess they already have a list and were sitting on it.

"Something to say?" I ask glancing down at Hale who is just smirking ear to ear.

"Me? Naw girl, I'm good—just waiting for my marching orders."

"I need you to go downstairs and get the notes from Lauren, see if maybe she has some more info or some shit-we've obviously missed something and we need to come up with a better profile then what we got."

"So you want me to ask her to come up?"

"No." Yes, but it isn't a good idea sadly.

"Okay." He chuckles giving me this strange look as he stands.

"Just—we aren't seeing eye to eye at the moment."

"So?" his eyebrow rises. "I thought you wanted to see eye to waist anyway?"

"Ass." I laugh taking a seat at my desk, I guess Kenzi hasn't mentioned anything to him about our little fight this morning—I wonder if she mentioned it to Lauren.

I doubt it; people don't normally inform their loved ones they are stepping out of line to '_protect them'_.

* * *

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_**Monday**_

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_**Third Floor-Homicide Unit-4:22 p.m.**_

"So let me get this straight," I pause running my hand through my hair, tilting my head to the right to glace over at the time. A black rimmed clock just five inches from the ceiling with the backdrop of a dark gray wall—I don't know why but something about the clock just gave me chills—maybe it was the room in general. "You think that Cane is Jesus?" I take a deep breath trying to keep from laughing as I glance over my left shoulder at the boys who were watching through the glass.

Say what you wanted about my new attitude but getting pissed off and sending them out Dyson found his prime suspect only problem is that it's been seven and a half hours and all we've gotten from him is a repetitive rant about his serial killer worship.

"Do you believe in Jesus detective?"

"Which version, the walking on water one or yours?" I lean back in my chair, tapping my foot idly trying to keep myself not only calm but awake. "Cause I gotta be honest, not a fan of either."

"They're one in the same detective," he says it so flatly, so coldly, so matter a fact for a fraction of a second if I didn't know better I might have believed him. "And I am his disciple." He lifts his arms from his sides as he throws his head back.

"Right." Once again I glance over my shoulder—they must be laughing their asses off right now. "Hey, disciple boy." Slowly he brings his head back to down, chin to chest as he glares at me reminding me of a rabid dog. "Do you know what day of the week it is?"

"Time does not matter."

"Do you know where you are at?"

"I am everywhere and yet nowhere."

"Yeah, okay we're done here." A slight chuckle escapes me as I stand and force a smile at him before turning and walking toward the door.

"I've seen inside your soul detective," I look back at him, his eyes still cold but again there is this hit of coherence to him. "You are dark—"

"Yeah, thanks." I smirk pulling the door open but I can't help but to glance back at him.

"We'll be waiting with open arms."

"That's the guy you think is running around undetected stealing children?" I raise a brow as I ask Dyson while pulling the door shut, his attention still focused on Hendrix but I can tell he is pissed. "Think we've wasted enough time with him."

"He could still be our guy," Dyson whispers harshly, grabbing my wrist and holding me in place as I tried to pass.

"Almost eight hours and all he wants is an audience to talk about his jailed love muffin, guy doesn't even stay coherent for a solid hour and you think he is able to abduct, kill and dump not one or two but four children now while eluding not only the police but the CSIS too?" I snort and jerk my hand away. "If you honestly believe that than you are as delusional as him."

He is pissed because I am not backing down to him on top of the fact he was wrong and Lauren was right—he had wanted to make this a pissing contest and lost, that is his own damn fault.

I rub the back of my neck walking out from the narrow and creepy hall back into the '_office'_ finding all of the officers hard at work—guess being a bitch has its advantages.

My eyes catch Lauren and I can't help but smile, first time I've seen her today though my smile fades almost instantly.

She looks angry—scared-distraught—maybe all of them?

She is trying to rush down the opposite isle between the desks in a hurry without seeming like it but Evony is lazily following behind talking about something—what is wrong? I take the three steps from my desk to the corner of the next.

"Praise Jesus! He said we would meet again!" I hear from the newly familiar voice of Dyson's prime but wrong suspect.

I turn to my right to see him being escorted out by a uniform though the uni isn't pay attention nor following protocol so he isn't able to prevent him as he lunges at Lauren. Given the fact his hands are cuffed in front rather than behind his back he is able to grab a hold of her throat as she slams down on the desk all before the uni or even I have time to react.

Lunging forward myself, right arm going around his neck as my left hand grabs ahold of his shirt I pull him back and throw him backward expecting the uni to grab him as I turn my attention to Lauren-breaking protocol myself.

Also a costly mistake.

"Gun!" I hear Hale yell, my eyes going from him to behind myself at Hendrix who has managed to get the patrol officer's gun somehow.

I pull my gun as everyone else present has, Lauren and the now disarmed cop the exception.

"You don't wanna do this, put it down." Tamsin follows Hale, I see her out of the corner of my eye walking up near my desk to join Dyson.

I've never killed anyone—I've fired my gun and I shot two people before, once in the leg and the other in the arm but I've never shot to kill.

"You look so lovely Doctor—but the last time I saw you," his breathing is labored as he speaks, it's not as though he is scared though, honestly I don't think he knows we are here anymore. He closes his eyes and gets this sick smile. "All covered in blood and—why Doctor you were so divine then."

"Shoot him." Lauren says flatly, so flatly I'm sure I haven't heard her right. I glance over but it's only a glance, I can't look at her, not now. "Shoot him." She repeats this time looking over at me before turning back to him.

"Wh-what?" I let out under my breath, my eyes shifting from her then to him.

What is she seeing to order that? Am I missing something?

"Put it down or we will shoot, there is no way out of here." Dyson says moving forward as Hendrix starts stepping toward the hall.

"Shoot him." Lauren calls again more base to her voice but I don't glance at her this time, she is behind me now.

My mind rushing through everything I know on deadly force. When it's okay, when it's justified—should I be the one to take the shot?

"Now, now Doctor Lewis that ain't very nice to say such things." He stops at the division between our '_office_' and the hall. Every cop has a gun on him but all he can focus on is Lauren, I think I am still in line of fire for her but I can't look back, there is too many people, too much opportunity for something to go wrong, all it takes is a second—as he has just proven.

"Put it down." I order taking step out in front of Dyson, he still had a clear shot I know but something told me I needed to take charge of this—not to mention despite what Lauren was saying—I wasn't aiming to kill him. I wanted a peaceful resolution.

"Shoot him dammit!"

"Put it down and we can talk about this. It doesn't—"

Maybe I really am not a good cop because the voice in the back of my mind is screaming that I just froze but I don't seem to quite grasp the concept.

I feel my eyes narrow as I watch him fall to the ground in slow motion—at least it's slow motion to me. I don't so much see him as the top of his head as he falls to the ground, the gun sliding across the floor to hit my foot as it is knocked from his grip when he hits the floor. I watch as a pool of blood begins to form from beneath his face-my eyes zeroing in on the hole in the back of his head.

Huh?

I look up, my eyes locking with Agent Lachlan's instantly as he just stands there over Hendrix's body—cold and emotionless.

The last few seconds replaying on super speed.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts of what to do next and the sound of Lauren's voice repeating to shoot him that I hadn't heard the actual shot from Lachlan's gun. I was focused so hard on Hendrix I hadn't seen Lachlan's form come up behind him.

"Well, that took care of our problem." I hear Dyson snort from behind me as he picks up the service weapon and hands it back to the patrol officer.

I take a step back into the isle between the desks as I holster my weapon, eyes falling back to the body-I don't quite understand what just happened.

I look back up to find Lachlan staring at me—no—it's not at me.

I look back at Lauren who is staring right back at Lachlan, a sort of silent conversation being had between them.

How well are they supposed to know each other? Aren't CSIS agents not allowed to arrest let alone kill—are they even allowed to have guns? Why do I suddenly get the feeling they know each other more than a meeting at a conference?

I'm knocked out of my thoughts as I catch a glimpse of Lauren brushing passed me, passed the body, side stepping Lachlan and then racing down the hall.

It takes a second but I'm dashing off after her despite the fact I hear Evony call my name, only problem is Agent Dick-Head sidesteps to get in my way. He isn't stopping me for Evony, he's giving Lauren enough of a head start.

"Move before I throw your ass in jail." It's a threat, despite the fact CSIS wasn't supposed to have a lot of power they always seemed to have far more than anyone else.

"You don't understand the game you're playing at little girl." He whispers tilting his head down toward me. "You don't even know the players yet let alone the rules."

"You have five seconds to get out of my way." This time it isn't a threat, I will order for his arrest, yeah it won't stick but it'll prove a point.

He smirks like he sees something he likes, as if he is amused by all of this before stepping out of my way as I rush down the hall to the elevator, she's already on it—2ed floor-1st floor—LL—should have known she wasn't going to leave the building.

I press the button twice but the light isn't moving from LL—would she go as far as to stop the elevator?

Fuck it.

I go to door for the stairs walking fast but not running or even jogging-until I'm in the privacy of the stairway.

I deserve answers—whatever the hell is going on around here is getting out of hand.

"What was that?" I bark pushing in the double doors to the morgue.

"Go back upstairs." She barks right back, I catch her right as she is going into her office but now she doesn't move.

"Not till I get some answers."

"What answers do you need Bo?"

"I need plenty, like why is Lachlan carrying a gun? Why did he just splatter some guy's brains all over the floor without so much as batting an eyelash? Why do you two seem to know one another a lot better than a run in at a conference that you had no business being at? But most of all," I hesitate walking up half of the distance between us. "Why were you asking me to shoot him?"

"I wasn't."

"Lauren you looked at me and practically pleaded it."

"You're imagining things." She turns her back to me as she heads into her office, she pushes the door shut but I'm there to push it right back open before it clicks. "Get out of my office." She spins around to face me-this is a very different Lauren than I have seen before.

"Who was he?"

"You know who he was."

"No, who was he to you?" I may not be super-cop but I'm not stupid, not stupid enough to believe that this guy randomly knew shit about her, that he had this effect on her and was some stranger.

"You aren't my mother and you aren't my girlfriend Bo, you don't need to know everything."

"I am trying to be your damn friend." My voice rising, I never thought I'd see the day when not only was I genuinely pissed at her, not angry to cover up hurt but actually pissed but where I was yelling at her too.

"I don't need you to be my friend."

"You were yelling to kill him and someone who you obviously have a personal relationship with did just that. You don't think that will be mentioned in the investigation?" I lower my voice as I watch her maneuver behind her desk, angrily fidgeting with folders and papers spread over her desk.

"Jesus Christ Bo, are you really still this naïve?" she snaps glaring at me. "There will be no investigation beyond the scope of you and your room full of half-assed cops who never should have made detective making jokes and gossiping about what happened."

"Glad to know what your real feelings are."

"You have no idea what my real feelings are Bo, you don't even know your own feelings half of the time." Her tone is so harsh it's almost unrecognizable and had I not been witness to all of this I would have never believed it. "I can't," she starts after a solid minute of silence, my body already halfway turned to leave. "I can't tell you everything."

"Can't or won't?"

"There will be a day," she hesitates again, her tone back in that gentle and venerable tone she tended to get when we were discussing our pasts. "A time when I can tell you and when that comes if you still want to know—then I will tell you everything."

I don't say anything—what else is there to say honestly.

If I want answers I am going to have to get them myself.

* * *

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_**Tuesday**_

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.

_**Hale's Appartment-9:14 p.m.**_

"You know this is trouble." He says with that disapproving look he gets as he stares down at me and hands me a beer.

"Yeah well I seem to already be in it so I may as well know what the shit is going on." I take a swig before looking down at his coffee table which I have full of case files like his floor.

"How about we just kick back, down some more beers and decompress because in a few hours we gonna have to hit the ground running?" He smirks hopefully as he takes a seat next to me.

"Hale, there is some connect between this Cane case and the case we are working now."

"You gon' say this shit after reaming Dyson for Hendrix?"

"No—I mean yes. Hendrix had shit to do with this and I don't think Cane or any other followers have shit to do with this but I am saying the cases in general. There is something linking them."

"Shit." He lets out in between two large drinks before leaning forward and grabbing a file. "You do realize every three words is blacked out right?"

"I know, for some reason they are listed as confidential."

"Then how'd you get them?"

"They aren't so confidential they were pulled, it's basically some political b.s. going on right now." I take a drink while scooping up my starting file and handing it to him. "Look at victims one, two, three and four are all unblocked along with the first four hundred pages of the files, but then you get to victim five-everything and I mean everything is blacked out." I flip the pages for him as I continue talking. "Six is blocked and then not again until thirteen does it go total blackout, everything after that is highlighted in black."

"What about google?"

"See that's the thing there is hardly anything. I mean it's literally as if shit went silent there too which is fucking crazy to think about right?"

"Wait up, what about victim number forty-nine?"

I take a drink taking a moment to think, what was I to say? That was Cassidy, that was something Lauren told me in a moment of weakness and pain. But then again this was Hale, my best-friend if there was anybody I trusted it was him.

Not to mention I need answers and Lauren isn't helping me in that department.

But if she ever found out then-I take another drink and look at him as he just sits there waiting for an answer.

"Her name was Cassidy, she was the lead detective and—Lauren's girlfriend."

"Oh—shit." He lets out with a nod. "Well I'm gonna go get some food cause I guess we ain't sleeping tonight, huh?" he snorts handing me back the files as he gets up and reaches for his phone in his pocket.

* * *

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_**Wednesday**_

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_**Hale's Apartment 1:47 a.m. **_

"Hey, snoring beauty."

I hear his voice and it pulls me toward consciousness. I look up at him and he looks like a strung out kid on Christmas, sitting on the floor in the middle of an ocean of files looking over them all.

"What?"

"You said Cassidy was Lauren's girl right?" I nod despite the odd twinge of jealousy at his choice of words. "And you said she was the medical examiner on this right?" another nod as I sit up and try to crack my neck. "Then why isn't she in any of the files?"

"What?"

"I been reading while you been snoring, Lauren isn't mentioned in a single one of them."

"That's impossible." I reach out as he hands me a file I hadn't yet gotten to.

"The M.E. is listed as some guy named Archer Patel, Lauren is never once mentioned unless she is somewhere in the blackness."

"But why would she be edited out?"

"That's what I'm saying." He stands up as the sound of his phone vibrating across the kitchen table grabs his attention. "Hendrix was talking about ol' girl covered in blood which I thought he was just crazy at first but once you filled me in I thought well she should at least be mentioned in the incident report, somewhere but—" he trails off as he reaches his phone.

"She isn't though." I finish for him glancing over the folder but after a heavy silence fills the room I look back at him and he doesn't need to say it aloud I already know what the text says.


	5. Shadows

_**Chapter Five: Shadows**_

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_**(Bo's POV)**_

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_**Saint Andrew's Hospital-2:25 a.m.**_

"Is it true?" the words leave my mouth before I even decide to say them, my hands fidgeting as I pull off my gloves while making a dash down the long hall. I'm sure she didn't even hear me considering how far I was from her—how she doesn't bother to glance toward me. "Is it really true?" I repeat as I pass the double doors that are propped open, this time I know she hears me considering the way she stands.

"Yeah," she smiles for a moment nodding but it fades almost instantly. "It's true."

"Then what is it?"

"They rushed him into surgery," she draws a breath while glancing away from me. "He has severe hypothermia, class three blood loss along with a broken shoulder and mutilation of his right hand."

"Jesus," I let out shoving my gloves in my pockets.

It was a slip really, it happened from time to time. Not like I was calling on him for help or anything—it was just what people said in situations like this, I'm sure if this was another situation she would have given me shit considering how much shit I gave her back at the church for taking an easy on the priest.

"Something happened tonight—something went wrong." She glances back up at me. "The property owner was out with his dogs, said one of them just keep running and barking so he naturally followed thinking to find some teenagers looking to break in or something but—"

"He ended up interrupting our boy." I glance down the hall passed her as a page over the intercom fills the area—must not be too serious since everyone continues about their business as if not a care in the world, as if me and her aren't standing here trying to track down a child-killer running freely through the city. "I'm not the expert here but I thought guys like our boy—they cared about their ritual and their end game not about getting caught. Why run? Or why not kill the property owner and finish his kill which should be what matters most—why run and leave him?"

"You know Bo," she sighs and looks down the hall-away from me. "I honestly don't know. He isn't making sense anymore. He is all over the place, this isn't the typical serial killer." She sounds so frustrated not just at the situation but that she can't figure this out, that something actually has the upper hand on her—if it wasn't our killer I would take pleasure in her experiencing this sense of doubt and finally knowing what it feels like to not always know everything—but now I would give anything for her to be her normal smug and perfect self.

"Do we know who the kid is already, boy or girl?"

"Yes, his name is Luke Walker, white male, age six. His parents are on the way in; I already spoke to the doctor a little before you got here."

"And?"

"He says the chances of him pulling through are eight to one and the chances of him pulling through without some type of brain damage is nine to one."

"Shit." I sigh while taking a seat.

When I had gotten the call that the victim—Luke had been found alive, that he was rushed here I just stupidly assumed that maybe he would actually have a chance, a real chance at pulling through but—it was stupid to hope for that.

This asshole doesn't leave anyone alive and it would appear he is growing increasingly violent—but the question is why?

What is making him tick—what is driving him to kill-to switch up his victims-was this taunting us in the lamest way possible or was this something else-is there still something missing that we aren't seeing—that I'm not seeing?

Cautiously she takes a seat next to me but doesn't face me or even glance over, no she just stares at the floor as if she would look hard enough—long enough the answers suddenly would appear.

There is so much tension between us, hell you can practically see it. I'm sure to someone passing by we look like we're being forced together at gun point—there is so much that needs to be said—but now isn't the time.

I have so many questions especially after me and Hale's little discovery tonight but—I just keep reminding myself there will be a better time than now.

So instead of clearing the air we just sit here-waiting for news as if this poor little boy was our own son.

* * *

_**Saint Andrew's Hospital-3:55 a.m.**_

"Were the parents any help?" she asks watching me as I take my seat next to her and all I can manage in response is a shake of my head. "Same answers as all of the rest?"

"Never saw a thing, never heard a thing—same shit, different family."

"I just keep thinking how did he get caught?"

"He didn't, Dyson says they lost his trail almost immediately."

"No, I mean how did he let himself get caught by the property owner? I mean this guy gets in and out of homes in neighborhoods with houses side by side but somehow tonight he gets caught in the middle of the night by an old man? Doesn't make sense."

"Randomness of luck maybe." I shrug, I understand what she is saying but the question she is posing doesn't have an answer—at least not one we can figure out at this moment.

Chances are that's all this was, a strike of bad luck for him-not that it was any better for us.

"You believe in luck?"

"I don't know—maybe." Another shrug. "Maybe my mediocre education just didn't teach me a better word for it." I turn my head to face her. "But what I do know is that something happened tonight, not one something or even two but several some-things happened tonight to get this to play out the way it did."

"Does Detective Dennis actually have a theory?" she smirks, left eyebrow raised—it was always that damn left one.

"No," I shake my head and glance away—I didn't need to be laughed at again.

"Come on Bo, I can see the little hamster running around in there."

I stare at her with my eyes narrow trying to size her up—Dyson could be an asshole when I voiced what I thought with cases and honestly Lauren had her moments of making me feel like a child when talking to me but against my better judgment I begin forming my thoughts into words.

"The last kid who had signs of injuries fought back right, so it would be logical to assume that Luke did too and that's how his shoulder got broken. We know that this guy doesn't mutilate them nor sexually assault them so this hand mutilation—what are the chances that Luke scratched our guy or pulled some hair—something that gave him no other choice but to mutilate his hand. It would explain why he wasn't able to finish drowning him completely. Say—Luke did scratch him, our boy had to stop and improvise taking more time then he planned out and that's when Mr. Property-Owner came stumbling onto him. Say he did account for the property owner but not the dogs?"

"Who said you couldn't form a plausible theory." She says and it's cold, distant—she isn't herself—for the first time tonight I catch it.

I think she means the comment sort of lightheartedly, a sort of backhanded good job but there is this weight to the words, this—point to them that cuts a little deeper than any laugh that had ever come from Dyson.

My lips part to ask her what is wrong-to ask what exactly is going on in her mind because I know she is running through something, her attention is only halfheartedly here with me but instead I sit back in my seat silently licking my fresh batch of wounds as I wait for a text or appearance from the doctor.

* * *

_**Saint Andrew's Hospital-5:15 a.m.**_

"You know I have this dream," I speak leaning forward, elbows digging into my knees my first reaction is to sit back up but this new pain is helping keep me awake. "I'm standing on this dirt road and to my left there is a road and to my right a road." I glance over at her checking if she is still awake—just barely but she is. "Now obviously one would interpret it as being at a crossroads and having to pick one way or the other but the thing is I chose one way and I just end up back where I started—and the same with the other way. I just keep having this dream over and over and over again." I snort out a chuckle. "Crazy right?"

"Actually," she clears her throat and glances over at me holding my gaze. "I find it sad."

"Sad?" I dryly laugh. "I never would have expected that one. Crazy, odd, stupid—but never sad."

"It tells me that you feel no matter which choices you make in life you think you're just going to be stuck here in the same spot you've been." She clears her throat once more and looks to her left, down the hall and away from me once again. "The definition of insanity Bo, is repeating the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result."

"Is that last bit aimed at you or me?" I ask through a clenched jaw as I feel my eyes narrow, a subtle jab in response to her not so subtle one.

"It would appear it applies to us both wouldn't it?"

* * *

_**Saint Andrew's Hospital-7:05 a.m.**_

I watch from afar as the surgeon informs the parents their son didn't make it.

He tells them there was too much damage, some complications that I couldn't understand when he told me and Lauren—it didn't matter honestly what he said after informing us he had died. It didn't matter to me or Lauren what complications arose all that mattered was another child had died and we were powerless to stop it. All that mattered to those parents was that they had lost their son—right out of their own home without having any clue of it.

I glance down at my phone checking for an update but there is of course none—they had lost this guy's trial minutes after they arrived on scene and all night they were just chasing shadows—which seemed to be all we were doing now—chasing shadows.

All night we sat here telling each other—ourselves that he wasn't going to make it but we stayed because some part of us held out hope that he would be the one in ten billion that would pull through—chasing a shadow of hope. All night Dyson and Hale and all of them chased after a shadow of a man that occasionally I'm not even sure exists.

They named him The Montreal Boogeyman and Lauren pointed out how well it fit—maybe he was really that—a boogeyman—maybe if I was religious I'd believe that. Maybe if I was just a tad bit stupider I would believe that this was some demon or supernatural being out there and it would sooth my guilt that we have been helpless to stop him.

But the fact that I know Lauren is right now standing in that operating room with the body of a dead six year old while plastic wrapping his poor mutilated hand, bagging up all of his cut off clothes and trying to preserve any other evidence that might have been lost in an attempt to save his life tells me one thing and oddly enough it's that one thing that sooths me more than anything else ever could.

It tells me that this monster is nothing more than a man.

And a man I can catch-a man I can kill.

* * *

.

.

_**Thursday**_

.

.

_**Hale's Appartment-8:22 p.m.**_

_Clayton Paul-White Male-Age 7 (Laval-WENS)_

_Alexander Thomas-White Male-Age 7 (Laval-SUN)_

_Arron Samuel-White Male-Age 9 (Montreal-WENS)_

_Rebecca Brennen-Hispanic Female-Age 4 (Montreal-SUN)_

_Luke Walker-White Male-Age 6 (Montreal-WENS) _

_Why the difference in victim number four? Why Sun and Wen only? Why isn't the abduction or detaining times the same? Why the difference in ages? Why only and ALWAYS six miles apart? Why always drowning? Why always children with only two names?_

_Sexual-NO. Rage-Not likely. Religious aspect? Internalized hate?Non-sexual-sexual motive? Just a Sick fuck…?_

.

.

"Hey Hemmingway," I glance up from my paper at Hale who is giving me a '_what the fuck'_ look. "Mind answering the damn door once and a while if you plan to keep living on my couch?" He bitches while going toward the front door.

"I'm not living on your couch."

"The cushion has a Bo shaped ass-print that ain't ever coming out at this point."

"Yeah, yeah." I wave him off, looking back down to my paper as I being to write again.

"Oh boy," I hear him let out but I don't look up—I'm busy trying to figure this out—or at least come up with something beyond having shit. "I'm gonna—go—upstairs—put some earphones on." I look up at his weird nervousness but I don't see him or the weird expressions I know he is making, what I do see though is Lauren standing at the edge of the couch.

"Lauren," I let out as I scoot up against the arm of the couch and pull my legs up so she can sit. "Did something happen?" I glance over at my phone on the table, but I don't see the little blinky-light.

"No," she shakes her head and looks down at her lap. "I honestly don't know why I'm here."

"Oh,"

"I mean I know my train of thought, Kenzi mentioned that Hale mentioned that you two were working on the case and there I was working on it and then I was hungry so I went out to pick up something and then I ended up here."

"Oh."

"Bo, please stop saying that."

"Sorry, yeah." I shake my head and sit up completely. "I'm sorry I just am a little caught off guard at the moment given how things have been between us I didn't really expect to see you outside of the office." I clear my throat and glance behind her to make sure Hale is gone, which he is—he has already made it clear he wants no part in the drama that is me and her—I don't blame him he has his own with Kenzi.

"Should I not have come?" her eyes find mine and as normal—I lose my train of thought.

"No, its fine—really I think it's good. I was beginning to go stir crazy staring at the same piece of paper for three hours."

"Interesting piece of paper." She smirks and reaches out waiting for me to hand over my hard labor—I'm hesitant but I do it anyway.

What's another couple of laughs at my expense, anyway?

"This is actually a very good skeleton of a logic-map."

"Logic-map?" I chuckle despite my efforts to hold it in. "Sorry, just never heard a doodle pad called that."

"Doodles are drawings."

"Well excuse me Mrs. Doodle Expert," another chuckle escapes as I lightly nudge the side of her thigh with my foot. "You really think it's a good start?"

"I do, looks similar to my own although," she pauses to look up at me. "I don't write sick-fuck on them."

"Well, had to add a bit of my own touch on it."

"Of course." This time it's her who chuckles, it's nice to hear that sound again—it's been a while.

"Did you want a beer?" I blurt out as I felt an awkward silence beginning to sneak its way in.

"You know," she says it heavily as she places the paper down on the table and I'm sure she is about to run for the hills—I'm beginning to learn what that looks like from her. "I would really love one—"

"But?"

"But?" she chuckles as her brow rises.

"Yeah, what's the but?"

"T—there isn't a but." She looks hesitant now, wondering if there should be one. "Is this too awkward?"

"It's very awkward," I laugh nervously as I stand. "But not so awkward that I would turn down a fresh pair of eyes on my logic slash doodle map slash pad."

"Plus the beer will help too." She says looking over her shoulder at me as I make my way to the fridge.

"Was I that obvious?" I chuckle again as I continue on my way, I know she didn't come here just for notes and I know she wanted—wants to leave but yet here she sits on the couch waiting for my return.

What was her game?

* * *

.

.

_**Friday**_

.

.

_**Lexington Commons-10:47 p.m.**_

"Bo?" her brow furrow, she looks confused and slightly bothered I'm here and for a moment I wonder if she already has company.

I know for a fact Kenzi has gone to Hale's and that was why I was supposed to be going to the office to put in some extra hours with Dyson but somewhere after two extra left turns and a right I found myself sitting outside of her building. I told myself I was going to drive away after the stupid love song finished but after three more I found myself walking up the building's stairs to her apartment and after five minutes of telling myself to walk away I found myself knocking on her door.

"I'm having a really shitty day." I blurt out and she tilts her head to the right, this inquisitiveness to her features but still she doesn't step aside to let me in. "I got into a fight with Dyson and reprimanded by Evony all before twelve. Then I got jumped by a suspect, I think I broke a rib—I've lost my iPod charger and me and Hale got into a fight." I take a little but much needed breath, considering I managed to get that all out in one long sentience."

"Did you really equate losing your iPod charger to everything else that's happened?"

"I was just listing shitty shit that happened to me today, they also gave me chicken instead of stake tacos for lunch but—they ended up being really good so I don't think I could add it to my list." I give this little shrug and I think I'm pouting—it feels like it but I can't be sure.

"Why did you get reprimanded?"

"Sh—she found out about my incident." I answer softly, the thought of turning around and leaving becoming more and more present as I realize she still hasn't stepped aside to let me in nor has she stepped out into the hall to join me.

She's in scrub bottoms and a white, string-strapped tee-shirt which is obviously for sleeping but she is decent enough to allow me in without feeling awkward—so why isn't she?

"Dyson?"

"Y-yeah, he isn't quite so happy with my recent attempt at authority."

"And Hale?"

"We're having a disagreement about—work stuff." It's not a lie, I'm sure the Cane case is connected in some way to this case so it's not a lie—completely.

"Did you go to get checked out?"

"No," I shake my head and glance down at her bare feet—she has cute toes. "I'm fine."

"If you're fine then why are you here?"

"I um," that was a gazillion dollar question right there.

I had a nasty fight with Dyson this morning but it wasn't like it was the first time—we'd just normally fuck it out but for some reason the thought of fucking him now—of letting him touch me seemed—fake and wrong and dirty in a way.

I had been reamed a new one by Evony but she would have been over it by now and the best way to smooth shit over with her was to make her look good, putting in extra hours did that so I had a nice and comfy seat waiting for me attached to a desk full of paperwork to do just that but it just didn't hold the same level of comfort I was looking for. A pat on the head from her because I was putting in triple overtime wasn't the kind of affection I was yearning for.

Despite the fact that Hale suddenly wanted to drop this whole Cane connection and that the fight had turned pretty brutal I know I could have just as easily returned to his couch—my temporary home. I was always welcomed and it really did have a feel of home to it but the comfort that a brother who was preoccupied with his girlfriend who hates me was not the comfort I needed-or wanted either.

I could have gone to the hospital to get checked out but besides the pain I was fine really.

I could have gone to a bar and found a one night stand but—the thought of that repulsed me—more than normal.

There were a million things I could have done that would have been smarter than ending up here on her doorstep looking like a lunatic. A million things I could have done that didn't include the level of stupidity that I was beginning to reach with what I was about to do.

There were a million and one things I could have done that were smart-but what I actually do doesn't even make the list of a million and a half smart things to do.

She fixes to say something-to ask me something I'm sure but the words are drowned out—or rather forgotten as I take one big step forward. My hands cupping her cheeks as my lips cover hers.

They're parted considering she was going to say something, it would have been easy access for me—so easy to take advantage but instead I just keep my lips on hers, eyes closed hoping that I didn't just make the biggest mistake of my life.

She isn't responding and quickly I feel this rush of fear, of pain—of regret ripping through me as I pull back, my eyes opening to meet hers.

Her eyes, they're so dark and unreadable it excites me just as much as it scares me. Her eyes were pretty but in all honesty they were just eyes, I was never one of those people who found them to be anything special—until her, it wasn't their color but their depth that drew me in. Her eyes were—enchanting, just a glance and I found myself getting lost in them—now was no different.

"Lauren I—"

Her lips crash into mine so hard it hurts—for a moment.

Her hands hold my face momentarily before jumping to my shoulders sliding under the jacket and sliding it down my arms ripping my embrace away. I hear the click of the buttons hitting the floor just as her fingers are at my waist loosening my belt, mere moments later a thud as my gun hits the ground.

This kiss is so different than our first, it's hungry and ravenous but what stands out most of all is that she is in control.

I'm not sure if she is leading us or I am but we are quickly moving through the apartment heading for the couch, her hands ripping open my first shirt and sliding it off of me as she had done my jacket.

Subtle moans escaping from both of us as we manage to continue the same kiss we started with—she was surprisingly skillful and flexible.

I feel us come to a stop, her legs hitting the arm of the couch just as her hands begin sliding underneath my undershirt, tiny nails being dragged down my stomach—shit.

I tilt my head back causing her eyes to fly open.

"We—I can't do this h—"

"Oh-yeah." She breaths out, nodding excessively as this look of guilt washes over her gorgeous features. "I am—sorry I just—and—"

"N-no Lauren," I laugh softly, my right hand moving to cup her cheek. "I just—don't," I hesitate as I force my eyes away from hers down to her lips, this wave of heat filling my cheeks. "I don't want our first time—or our only time to be on the couch or floor like something cheap and," I trail off again suddenly feeling completely stupid.

"O—okay." She whispers after a moment and before I can look up she already has my hand in her own.

She doesn't say a word—neither do I.

I wish I knew exactly what was happening—was this a dream—it had to be because this was-this was amazing and scary and unpredictable and seemingly impossible yet here I was being led up her stairs.

I can't lie—I am scared for so many reasons.

Normally this was the part I knew, the part I was good at. In fact when we first met this was all I wanted—from her in general yes but it was all I wanted to do because I knew that then she would be at my '_mercy_'—they all were—after all this was all I am good for.

Right?

I'm oddly and painfully aware of every step we take, my heart racing a little more with each—what was going to happen? What did I want to happen? I hadn't prepared for this reaction—honestly who could prepare for this reaction?

Could she feel the way I do-do I even know how I feel?

Somewhere between my last thought and now I must have lost track of reality because I find her hand leaving mine as she turns around—we're just three steps passed her doorway and I'm sure I see just as much fear in her eyes as I feel.

Why is she so beautiful—why is she so perfect?

She looks hesitant now, like a deer staring down a hunter and that sudden rush of courage from earlier returns just as abruptly as it had before.

My lips on hers, tongue slipping passed her defenses with little protest. She was an amazing kisser, amazing enough to pull me toward the edge of bliss with nothing more—I wonder if she could bring me **over** it with nothing more—but there is this little voice in the back of my mind reminding me that this could very well be a onetime chance so I can't waste it on games.

I need to know what her body feels like, I need to feel her beneath me—on top of me. I need to hear her moans when not muffled by my mouth—hear my name. I need to taste every inch of her—see it to memorize it like the work of art it was.

It's another hungry and passionate kiss—both of us '_fighting'_ for dominance and God was it mind-blowing.

I'm not as shell-shocked as I was at first. My own hands running up the outsides of her thighs and under her shirt—this woman and her subtle curves were going to drive me insane.

I give her tongue a playful nip as I lean back and pull her shirt up over her head in one swift movement, tossing it behind me as my lips fall back against hers—problem was the sound of glass shattering.

I look over my shoulder at the dresser, her tossed shirt having hit something—a candle maybe—whatever it is I just broke it.

"Shit, Lauren I'm sorry I'll replace it I—"

My labored and only half sincere words once again cut off by her lips, her hands guiding my face back toward her.

"I—don't care." She breaths against my lips in between teasing pecks.

The thought of the broken glass on the dresser leaving my mind as she begins unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans while we begin stumbling backward toward her bed. Somehow she manages to turn us so she is guiding me—not that she wasn't already. My jeans falling to the floor, a slight stumble as I step out of them and my shoes in one motion but the way my hands are gripping her hips and hers my back it's only a slight stumble one that's washes away with the sound of a moan.

Her hands travel slowly down my bare arms, dragging the tips of her tiny nails and my skin feels like it's on fire—my entire body feels like it's on fire.

Her room is dark only the pale moon light seeping through the blinds giving it an equally romantic as eerie feel, the backs of my legs pressing into the edge of her bed, it hurts but not enough to make me pull away—I don't think anything could make me pull away from her at this moment.

She's enjoying her _'torturous'_ actions and its effect on me—I can tell by how teasing her tongue is now.

Something has changed in the air—maybe as if a silent agreement or acknowledgement that we're going through with this and there is no need to try and out passion the other—no need to try and pull the other to the edge as quickly as possible because we both know we're in this together—equally willing and wanting.

Her dark, glistening eyes are peering into mine, her features very serious as her hands drift away from mine and go to my waist. First she slides them under the bottom of my bra and then she dips them in the hem of my underwear and I can't help but to gasp. She doesn't pull them down or go any further just grips a hold of them, my lips part further to protest but she takes it as an invitation, her tongue slipping passed effortlessly to begin exploring the depths of my mouth.

My response is halfhearted at first but I'm weak to her, I've always been for some unexplainable reason.

The kiss is long and deep, passionate and hungry it brings me back to our kiss from down stairs. Our lips only part for seconds at a time just enough to get air each time the kiss picking up where it paused, each second the kiss growing to something I can't even describe anymore.

Not because I lack the vocabulary this time but because I've never felt this before.

Her hands roaming so freely-it feels amazing. The kiss feels amazing—everything was oddly amazing.

I grab her hips and spin us around so she's being pressed against the bed. I'm holding her firmly not to the point of pain but enough that it stops her attempt from trying to lead us onto the bed, enough that it holds her in place.

When her hands reach my waist again they hold firm, this time when we don't go for another kiss but instead as we slowly part our eyes open.

"I need to know that this isn't about you getting over Dyson." Her tone is suddenly firm again, eyes still dark and intense but differently—honestly I forgot he existed—I forgot anything but her existed in this moment.

"No," I whisper out, eyes running over her face to end up back where they started. Reaching up as I cup the back of her neck, my fingers buried in silky soft strands of hair that smelled just as intoxicating as the rest of her. Honestly maybe I didn't forget him or the rest of the world for that matter—maybe I just wanted her to be all that existed. "This is about us."

The two of us fall right back into another passionate, earth shattering kiss all the while she turns us once more and guides us down onto the bed before immediately moving atop of me.

It's obvious the woman LOVED it on top.

She leans down kissing the top of my jaw before her lips rest ever so lightly over my ear whispering so softly, so gently that I'm not completely sure what is being said.

My body falling still for a moment trying to make sense of the whisper and when Lauren pulls back up a bit staring down at me I forget all about it and remember nothing more than a need to touch this woman.

God knows when the next time I would get another chance.

Taking a deep breath I reach up intertwining my arms around her neck pulling her down into a kiss that was dangerously close to pushing the boundaries of my self-control. The kiss so deep and probing we were discovering surprisingly unfamiliar depths within each other's mouth—something I thought impossible at this point at this point.

Lauren is the first to moan into the kiss, at first it was soft and still had traces of innocence though as the passion built in the way it always seemed to do between us and my hands began to ran freely up and down her back while she skillfully rested the lower half of her weight from her stomach down against my lower stomach and heated center-it quickly turned into something much more feverish.

Hands sliding down the arch of her back until I reach the start of her pants, giving them the best pull down I can before I pull my legs back and use my feet to do the rest. Another moan filling the air maybe from her at the way I arched up against her body or maybe it was from myself for the same reason—maybe it was both of us.

I keep my legs arched up to keep my body as close to hers as possible but she takes it as an invitation as her mouth drops to my neck and she throws one leg over mine straddling it—I know this moan is mine.

Her own thigh pressing so hard against me it hurts—in the best way possible.

She is rocking against my thigh or really the starting of my pelvic bone—not that it matters much. I wrap my left leg around her waist bringing her down harder atop of me as I arch up with every rhythmic movement of hers.

Every moan earned a mixture of pain and pleasure of longing and need—of love.

I push the last from my mind as my arms wrap around her and pull her down tighter against me doing nothing for the pain but I'm close—I know she is too and I just want to feel her—hold her as close as possible when she cums for me.

If this was a onetime thing then I don't want to forget a single moment of it—a single feel or touch or kiss or sound—nothing.

It's not long that I find her biting down on my collar bone as her body begins to tremble, my hands going into her hair as my own mouth finds her neck.

My own attempt doing nothing to muffle my screams of ecstasy.

It was the first time I ever came with someone before—I think the first time I ever really experienced that rush that I've heard so much about.

I just find myself laying here, trembling beneath her as my lips stay on her skin just resting there as I try to bring my mind back to reality.

Suddenly I feel her beginning to pull back and I do the only thing I know to do to stop her—I flip us, my hands on the small of her back trapped underneath her.

"I—I wasn't leaving I just had to shift." She whispers, eyes dancing over my face as if every insecurity is written out as an open book for her to read.

It would have been easy to assume I just wanted to continue fucking—having sex—making love—which ever was the proper term for us but she knew what was hidden underneath it—she always knew what was hidden underneath every action of mine. She always seemed to know just what I really felt and that is terrifying.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" my own whisper escaping as I stare into her eyes getting lost in them, I know she is blushing and it's adorable but I can't seem to tear my eyes away from hers.

"You're sweet." She smiles softly, hands resting on my hips.

"No I'm not." I say it firmly, tilting my head down grazing the tip of her nose with my own playfully. "I'm just honest.

* * *

.

.

_**Saturday**_

.

.

_**Lexington Commons-3:59 a.m.**_

Heavy eyelids flutter back open at the sound of—something?

I lean up on my arm and glance over at the clock, shit we've only been asleep ten minutes?

I glance down at the tiny snores that catches my attention, it's almost not a snore so much as a soft, heavy breathing—it's really cute.

If I was on speaking terms with God I would have thanked him for this—for her but I'm not so I'll just have to be thankful in general.

I swallow at the dryness in my throat and I'm really tired enough to ignore it but—it's annoying. Glancing back up from her at the bathroom door which is shut I debate trying to sneak in and get a handful of water but the light or the sound of the door or the sound of the water might wake her.

My eyes shift to the bedroom door which was still wide open.

Sighing to myself I look back down at her with a little smile and place a quick, light kiss to her temple before sliding out of the bed and scooping up my bra and underwear on the way out—I know Kenzi is with Hale but she had a tendency of coming back early, last thing I need is for her to see my butt-naked standing in her kitchen drinking her orange juice—she was almost as territorial about food as she was about her sister.

I feel like an idiot with this huge smile on my face as I quickly slip back into my underwear while making a dash for the kitchen, I want so much to get back up there before she wakes up. I want just a little more time to hold her, to admire her because when she wakes—I honestly don't know what to expect.

Running my hands over my face and then through my hair I try to pull myself to a better state of consciousness—it doesn't really work.

I pull the fridge open and search for something worth drinking, a chuckle escaping me as my eyes find the orange juice.

Screw it.

Smirking I pull the carton out take a drink, glancing over my shoulder at the annoying beeping. It's her computer next to a stack of folders which her glasses rest upon and a half drank glass of wine—explains why she seemed busy earlier.

I shake my head before taking another drink and place it back in its spot—Kenzi will never know.

I start back toward the stairs but the blinking light and continuous beeping grabs my attention, I know I shouldn't snoop but this might be case related after all we haven't really had our phones. It's not like I'm going to start going through shit, just a quick glance to make sure it's not one of those computer-video-call things.

I glance at the screen looking for something that would say missed call or some shit, considering the screen is on and I'm not touching it—doesn't really feel like snooping.

.

.

_**REPLY**__**-**__**FORWARD**__**-**__**DELETE**__**-**__**REPORT SPAM**__**-**__**FURTHER OPTIONS**__**:**_

_**From: LawManL210**_

_**To: DrLaw613**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 20 Minutes Ago**_

I know you're busy running around with your new girlfriend but I need a status report, PMM is waiting.

.

_**From: LawManL210**_

_**To: DrLaw613**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 2 Days Ago**_

Report received per both cases. I have chosen to leave out the incidents pertaining to you and subject bravo-alpha out. You can thank me later.

.

_**REPLY: ERROR-MISSING**_

.

_**From: LawManL210**_

_**To: DrLaw613**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 3 Days Ago**_

Are you home? Personal and dummy are unresponsive, we need to speak.

.

_**REPLY: ERROR-MISSING**_

_**RECEIVED: ERROR-MISSING**_

_**REPLY: ERROR-MISSING**_

_**RECEIVED: ERROR-MISSING**_

_**REPLY: ERROR-MISSING**_

_**RECEIVED: ERROR-MISSING**_

_**REPLY: ERROR-MISSING**_

.

_**From: LawManL210**_

_**To: DrLaw613**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 30 Days Ago**_

Need profile per DRBRTH ASAP PMM is requiring briefing.

.

.

I swallow the lump in my throat, eyes running over the screen, the same ERROR messages almost on every single sent and received message-I don't blame her why she didn't bother to delete the ones left—they say nothing.

Must have been what I interrupted—her getting rid of evidence—of—something.

Idly I move the mouse over the screen my intention to close the window but just as odd as this laptop's OS is a series of options pop up that is new.

I move it over the error messages waiting for it to come up again but it only seems to pop up on select files, several that have no interest to me, just e-mails from this LAWMAN asking where she is and so on but the option to recover appears for the one from thirty days ago, the one asking for a briefing.

Without hesitation, without caution of getting caught or further breaking my own heart I click it.

_**RECOVER. **_

Takes a solid thirty seconds or so but it comes up.

.

.

_**From: DrLaw613**_

_**To: LawManL210**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 30 Days Ago (RECOVERED)**_

_**DT:**_ Is suspiciously sociopathic, shows signs of feelings but in my professional opinion it's a decent acting job. Subject has no effect on me unlike the remaining subjects and this obviously is a source of tension, whether or not it is for personal reasons or suspicion of my lack of willingness to be a team player remains to be seen.

_**DR&amp;DB:**_ Both average intelligence, followers, crude and brutal but not good for this, my professional opinion is to remove from focus completely and move to reprimand when all is said and done, I would not be opposed to take either or both of their badges.

_**HS:**_ Type 3A-Classified.

_**TV:**_ Type A follower and participation is not under full understanding of subject's actions, shows signs of being a decent cop, removal of badge is subjective, my opinion is to desk her.

_**BD: **_Shows potential but is far too comfortable working beneath it, if subject will ever peek remains to be seen. Has several emotional issues which makes her an easy target to manipulation such as a mild-level of internalized homophobia, sever levels of guilt for events out of her control, needs constant approval and attention—sexual or otherwise. Only stable relationship is with HS whether or not it has been/is sexual is a mystery. Relationship with DT is only long term and commitment subject has experience with which doesn't say much for either of their characters. Highly co-dependent, is by far the weakest link of the group. Master mind of operation no but very possibly a key-player and possibly the best way in but I **highly** recommend against it, subject is too unstable to attempt a relationship of any kind—risk factor deemed too high.

_**EM:**_ Possibly the hardest sale but I believe would be the best source, DT would let guard down for a night but afterward would most likely shut down. EM may be harder to get close to but I believe would be the easiest to **remain** close to.

If operation is to continue as an UC-OP then it is my professional opinion to remove myself and place someone better suited.

.

_**From: LawManL210**_

_**To: DrLaw613**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 30 Days Ago (RECOVERED)**_

UC-OP remains a green-light, you are to remain in place. EM is a red-light, BD is a green-light: establish a relationship and wait for further instruction.

.

_**From: LawManL210**_

_**To: DrLaw613**_

_**Re: DRBEBTH**_

_**Received: 10 Days Ago**_

Your request for OP termination has been denied, you are to proceed. For the last time, establish and nurture a relationship with SUB-BD before you are reported for insubordination.

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"Bo?"

I hear my name pulling me back to reality; though honestly at the moment MY reality apparently seems to be a lie.

I look up sniffling back the feeling of tears.

It's all been a lie-everything has been a lie.


	6. To New Beginnings

_**Chapter Six: To New Beginnings**_

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_**(Lauren's POV)**_

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I just stare at her like a deer in headlights, my left hand clenching the sheet to my body—fist balled so tight it hurts.

I don't know what she is thinking for the first time since I've met her and that scares me. It scares me that I just spent hours making-love to this woman and now-suddenly I can't tell a single thought running through her mind nor what the unreadable expression on her face means.

It would be stupid of me to say she is hurt—I know this—the same would go for angry but the real question is: how angry?

I feel sick and dizzy but mostly sick—near disgusted.

Abruptly a single thought comes to mind-my cover is blown.

I keep my eyes locked with hers but my mind has checked out as it remembers where her gun is—still holstered on the floor ten six steps back and then twelve to my left. My gun on the other hand is all the way up the stairs, down the hall and hidden in underneath my nightstand. My backup in the back of the freezer wrapped in plastic, even if I did manage to make it there before her there wasn't enough time to unwrap it as well.

Would she actually go for it?

"Th—this is why you're here—why you're with me?" her broken whisper filling the apartment, her hand gesturing toward the computer, there was no point in denying it now. She had seen the proof but the thing was—she had no idea what **this** was.

"Just hear me out," the words leave my mouth before I can actually form a logical thought. "We have your best interest in heart-I have your best interest in heart."

"We—whose we?" she looks away from me as tears form—I can't see them from this far but I can hear them in her voice.

"Bo."

"You were sent here?" she rephrases the question, I think she is in a form of shock whether that is good for me or not remains to be seen.

"Bo let me explain—"

"Where you sent here?" she raises her voice cutting me off and taking two steps forward, all I can do is nod. "So what I read isn't some sick joke or a hallucination or-we've been—you and me it's all been—"

"Look, it's not what you think." I take a step forward becoming all too aware of the fact that I am only in a sheet as I step on a corner of it causing my balance to falter momentarily.

"You have no idea what I think and less about what I feel," she snaps and glances away from me as she storms passed—it doesn't matter that she looks away though I still catch a glimpse of her tear moistened cheek. "Or you could not have done this to me." Her tone harshening as she leans down going for her pile of discarded clothes—clothes that were discarded by me.

I have to shake the flashes of the night's events away as rational and self-preservation come back into play.

For a moment I'm frozen—the thought crossing my mind-would she actually do it?

But she just throws on her shirt and then her jacket, picks up her belt and realizes there is no pants attached to it. She storms passed me again this time jogging up the stairs and I just stand here frozen, what was I doing?

Do I go after her and try and stop her? If I do what are my reasons? Should I detain her? I know the protocols for this but do I actually act them out? Do I really think she would try and hurt me? Why am I so scared? What's this pain in my chest? Am I having a panic attack or this hurt? Was I actually stupid enough to care about her this much?

Dammit Lauren, get ahold of yourself.

I reach out with my free hand trying to stop her but she jerks away from me still making a dash for the door—she could have been in track.

"I—look I'm sorry. Goddammit Bo, I'm trying to protect you." If she only knew how true that was, how many things I've left out of my reports or how many times I've turned a blind eye to things that make her look guilty. "I—I haven't done anything wrong."

She stops, hand on the doorknob of the half ajar door. Spinning around she begins storming right back toward me and now I recognize the emotion written over her features, its anger—not just anger but borderline rage.

I don't move this time, it's not that I am frozen or even wondering what she is going to do—if she was going to do something violent she would have already done it.

At least I think so.

"You allowed me into your bed because you were told to." She nearly growls her words but the yelling has stopped. "Everything about that is wrong." She holds my stare just for a moment, just long enough that she knows I can see the rage—the pain before she spins right back around heading for the door.

"Bo," her name is an unconscious whisper as I watch her walk out not even bothering to slam my door.

My first instinct should have been to call this in, to report this—her—my cover being blown—to call Kenzi and tell her to get out of there before he finds out but my actual first instinct is to run after her.

Problem with that was that I didn't have clothes on-actually that was one of the smallest problems with this situation but the fact of the matter was that was the only one I cared about at the moment.

* * *

_**Monroe Street-5:27 a.m.**_

I take a deep breath, right hand behind my back gripping a hold of my weapon as I take slow and cautious steps up the old, dusty and unstable steps.

This place was a certified shit-hole in a shit neighborhood which is why she was able to afford it on a detective's salary. It had been named _The Club_ house for years so it was well known thus why so cheap, I guess she was expecting to fix it up at some point. The agency thinks she is using it for her illegal activities but—I think it was just her attempt at starting a new life that she once again gave up on.

I had called Kenzi and she said Bo hadn't returned there, I had called Evony and she said Bo hadn't come in yet either but Dyson was there so that only left me with one option—her little hide away. Actually she could have been at The Dal, but I'm not stupid enough to go in there now without sufficient backup—if Bo had spilled already to Trick—to anyone there I would have been killed on sight—her blessing or not.

I didn't bring my weapon so much for her but for what situation might arise in the wake of this little situation I've managed to get myself into and again I wasn't even gripping it now because I was expecting some shoot out with her—I just wasn't sure the noises I am hearing are actually her, after all this place doesn't even have actual walls let alone proper locks to keep out the less desirable members of the community.

I pull my weapon at the creaking of wood—but what worries me is that this person is trying to be quiet.

I hadn't even been to a range in almost three months but let's face it I've pulled the trigger more than enough times to remember how to do it.

The front door is open and just as I'm trained to do—one foot in front of the other slowly and cautiously, listening for the sounds coming from within. This only works for a bit considering I'm two steps away from running out of wall to hide behind.

Drawing a deep breath I push everything from my cluttered mind except for training.

Taking a big step out into the living room area weapon pointed at the exact spot I assessed the noises were coming from and I'm right down to a tee—if I wanted I had a clean headshot.

_Problem number one: I find myself staring down a gun as well._

_Problem number two: It's Bo._

I don't lower my weapon but neither does she.

_Problem number three: She is angry, in pain and not thinking clearly._

_Problem number four: She is a crooked cop and my job is to not only take her badge but put her away._

Our eyes meet the way they always seemed to do, like it was just their nature to find one another but this time it's not intense because we're dancing around how we feel—not because we've mastered the art of flirting without ever having to say a word but because we're trying to figure out what the other is going to do.

_Problem number five: She won't shoot to hit me—just to get me to shoot._

_Problem number six: It's Bo. _

"What are you? RCMP? FBI? CIA? DEA? ATF?"

"Canadian Security Intelligence Service."

"Otherwise known as CSIS-I thought so," she snorts out through a cold chuckle. "Let me guess Lawman is Agent Dick-Head?" I give a slight nod, eyes trying to see through the darkness of the apartment trying to assess whether or not her finger is actually on the trigger. "I knew there was something off between the two of you—DoctorLaw." Another icy chuckle as she tightens her jaw. "Are you even a fucking doctor?"

"Of course I am."

"Don't fucking stand there and say of course like I can believe **anything** you've told me!"

"What—you think I'm just randomly cutting up bodies in the basement?" I feel my eyebrow shoot up as I take a step to the right.

"I don't know what to think when it comes to you Lauren-not after last night." Her features scrunch, titling her head away from me for a moment. "So tell me, how much did you get for last night?"

"Wh—what?"

"While I was waiting for you to show I was doing some research," she drops her left hand down to her pocket and pulls out her phone. "Saw in an underground forum, they said you guys get a bonus if you have to fuck a mark." She tosses the phone down on the floor near me. "So I'll ask again, how much?"

"Two thousand for a female and two thousand-five hundred for a male." I have to swallow at the wave of disgust building within me, this was something I knew as I knew every other aspect of my job but there was something about saying it aloud—when pertaining to her that disgusted me to no end.

"Two thousand—little over half of my check for the month and you make it in a hour." another snort as she nods. "Well sorry your bonus is so small; maybe you can bump it up to two point five since you did have to suffer through kissing me the other night."

_Problem number seven: I let myself care._

_Problem number eight: I let myself get involved._

"You want honesty?" I ask drawing in a deep breath.

"Can you give it?"

"Before tonight, my bonus stood at ten thousand." I whisper and let my eyes fall to her feet, I don't know why I'm admitting to it—a huge part of my job was to never let anything slip but here I was voluntarily giving up information that was damaging to myself.

Key word-voluntarily.

"Evony?" she says it as a question but something tells me she already knows the answer, the e-mails gave her everything she needed to know—now it was just connecting the dots which practically already had the lines drawn to them for her.

_Problem number nine: It's Bo._

_Problem number ten: I let myself fall for her. _

"I'm not wearing a vest." I say softly, a flick of my finger and the clip is falling to the floor with a loud thud. Beginning to lowering my weapon I remove the round in the chamber before dropping them both to the floor. "If you really want to shoot me Bo-then do it."

"You know Lauren, honestly I always knew this day would come." An icy chuckle escapes her as she reaches around her back pulling her cuffs off her belt and tosses them near her phone. "I just always thought it would be FBI or RCMP or DEA—never once did I think the fucking CSIS would get involved. I know what you guys do—"

"You know nothing about what we do—about what I do." I say coldly taking a step forward.

"You're probably right, stupid me." She gives this little shrug, tears in her eyes. "I did see **a lot** of torture claims though—and considering your little whoring bonus is true, I guess I'll just have to assume those claims are too."

"Not all but some." SHUT UP LAUREN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! "Never on our own soil though."

"Oh how—sweet of you?" she snorts and shakes her head. "I might not know exactly what you do but I know why you're here." Her voice breaking slightly as she pulls her badge from her belt, gripping it tightly for a moment as if saying goodbye before tossing it down next to her phone.

"No Bo-you don't know why I'm here."

The voice in the back of my mind screams at me to shut up—it screams a lot of things at me at the moment but for the first time in a long time it's not the voice in my head I'm listening to but the one in my heart.

"It was never loaded." She whispers as she drops her weapon on the floor and kicks it over.

"You're a dirty cop Bo, you make deliveries for your grandfather that are questionable, you bend the rules to the point they should break, you have so many excessive force complaints on you I lost count but none of that is in the reports—I haven't filed a single thing. Anything that points to this in your file now is what you've allowed Lachlan to see."

"Wh—why?"

"Did you ever have a puppy?" she shakes her head slightly, features tense and eyes narrow. "Well they have a tendency to do stupid shit, nip at your pants, bite your socks-they do it because they just don't know any better yet and when I look at you that's what I see."

"Thanks?" she snorts, shaking her head as if I just gave her the biggest insult of her life.

"Your department if full of people who should have never been cops and damn sure people who never should have made detective but I've been watching you and I see there is such great potential Bo."

"That you don't know I'll ever reach—yeah I read your little profile of me."

"Look, I don't want your badge." I say kicking it back over toward her. "Lachlan likes taking badges, I don't and I certainly don't want yours. Why I am here is because your co-workers-your friends are just as stupid in their illegal activities as they are in their policing."

"What are you talking about?"

I hesitate and look her over while holding a breath, I may have fallen for her and made a hundred other mistakes tonight but was I prepared to make this one?

"Your crooked friends have some friends who are friends of some not so nice people."

"What? Like the cartel or mafia?"

"No Bo, the type of people who like to fly planes into buildings and leave surprises at marathons."

"What? No, there's no way that—"

"Bo," I say firmly pulling her attention back to me. "CSIS is an intelligence agency who deals first and foremost with national security, we deal in terrorists. We didn't know how much this department knew, how big the participation level was—is. We could have come in and shut the department down but we knew that would raise flags-we'd lose so much Intel so they placed me inside."

"I am not—" she cuts herself off, raised tone breaking as she takes several steps toward me. "I am not involved in **anything** like that Lauren."

"I know," I say softly and give her a little nod, I want to reach out and touch her-I don't though. "My opinions of them aside-I don't think they honestly know what they are partaking in either."

"Fuck." She lets out after a moment of silence as she runs her hand through her hair and walks away from me. "So what now? You send me off to some no name place until your mission is done?" she turns back around to face me.

"I'm not sending you anywhere Bo, I'm not telling anyone anything."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons, but the one that needs to take priority now is that we have less than twenty four hours before we can expect another body."

"So—I should just keep my mouth shut, pretend I know nothing."

"Yes."

"And what happened between us—just-forget that too?" she looks down at the ground which honestly makes it easier for me to answer.

"You can choose to do that—or not, that is your right. Me-I won't-I can't." I admit softly as I lean down and pick up my service weapon.

"Was any of it real?" she asks me as I'm one step from disappearing behind the wall of the hall.

"I grew up in Toronto with both of my parents and a little brother who is off at college now. I enjoy classical music, sushi and I've never left the country. I've dated mostly men but I have had one girlfriend before which ended with her returning to her boyfriend. I'm well rounded, smart and sensitive." I turn my head to look her in the eyes. "That is my cover story Bo, that's the story I've said a hundred times over and if you ask Evony anything about me that is what she will tell you. I've never lied to you outright Bo, just lies of omission."

* * *

_**Third Floor-Homicide Unit-12:22 p.m.**_

"Fucking-shit-fuck!" I come around the corner to see Bo yelling as she violently pulls on the bottom drawer of her desk. "Fucking shit!"

"Why don't you let me help you with that?" Dyson says almost laughing as he starts to come over from his desk.

"I've got it."

"Just let me—"

"Look asshole I said I fucking got the shit so back the fuck off." She snaps letting go of the handle and kicking it twice. "What? None of you ever had a bad day?" her voice still raised as she looks around the office at everyone who has once again stopped their duties to watch her little '_show_' provided by her—by us.

"Bo," I say softly as I approach her. "I know you're upset about-last night but you—"

"Upset about last night?" her attention snaps to me, her voice isn't a yell but it's still louder than I would have liked. "Upset about last night? No Lauren, I am upset because I spilled coffee all over my car and because I can't get this fucking drawer open. I am angry because I have been lied to by everyone and have been used. But about last night," she leans in, jaw clenched. "That-I am enraged about. But most of all I am infuriated because we have no clue how to catch this sick asshole!" she steps back kicking the drawer one more time before taking a seat.

"Doctor Lewis," I look over to the call of my name. "Can I see you in my office?"

I don't bother looking back toward Bo-I can't stand the look I know undoubtedly will be there. The one of pain and disgust and rage—I can't stand the sight of that on her—especially since it's meant for me.

Instead I force a polite smile as I walk into Evony's office, closing the door behind myself as I watch her close the blinds.

"Is she cracking?" she chuckles as she begins to turn around and it's a conscious effort not to snap at her.

"Honestly, I think we're all beginning to crack a little." I take a little breath and it becomes a little easier to keep my smile intact. "Everyone is just really frustrated about not being able to make any progress in the case."

"You're telling me," she walks over to me, this heavy smile on her face.

I can't lie I cared for Evony in my own way, we have a lot of things in common—a certain darkness in ourselves that seems to have finally found an understanding in the other. Beyond that she has a lot of qualities I like, she's funny, smart and decent company as well as I have respect for her.

The difference between her and Bo was that I could still pull the trigger if it came down to it.

"The piece of shit, RCMP is talking about coming in and taking over." Her hands wrap around my waist. "Can you believe this?"

Yes, you have a station full of idiots.

"Talk to Lachlan, I'm sure he can hold them off."

"I can't, me and him have had-a disagreement." She smirks and leans in to kiss me—I tilt my head to the side letting her get my cheek. "Okay—have **we** had a disagreement?" she leans back, features tightening.

"No," I smile softly and shake my head. '_Remember your job Lauren,' _those four words on repeat in the back of my mind. "I'm just tense is all."

"Alright." She says flatly, a conscious effort on her part to appear unbothered by my rebuff. "Fuck-Head seems to have a respect for you," she pulls her hands away and steps back. "If he pops in for a visit, do me a favor and try to smooth him over. Assure him my squad and your big brain will catch this fucker."

"No problem." I smile before turning and making a '_calm-run-for-it',_ but it's too late for what I was trying to avoid.

Bo's desk is empty.

* * *

_**City Morgue—5:34 p.m.**_

"The name on the door is Lauren Lewis." I raise an eyebrow walking into my office finding Lachlan leaning back in my desk chair once again.

"You know, I feel like you should have a theme song."

"What?" I snort taking a sip of my coffee.

"You just always seem to appear out of nowhere and then you have this walk—theme music would suit you."

"Why are you here?"

"You haven't checked in."

"I've been busy. Did you hear about RC—"

"Don't worry about them," he snorts and waves his hand in the air as if he was dismissing them.

"Why are you here Conner?" I take a seat and hold his gaze—something is off.

"How long have we known each other?"

"We just passed ten years three months ago."

"Lot of bad guys put away, lot of bad situations we've made it through."

"I know." I let my eyes fall down to my desk, an inkling of where he is going with this.

"This will be the first anniversary we don't visit her grave."

"Yeah," I sigh out, tears filling my eyes as I nod. "But tomorrow is Sunday and-she would understand."

"I know." He leans back in the chair, a heavy silence coming over us and time seems to slow—not come to a standstill, just slow. "Where is Kenz?"

"Having a late lunch with Hale."

"Bo's so called brother," he smirks and shifts in the seat. "Wonder how she would feel if she knew he was the one who blew the whistle."

"I'm sure she'd be fine considering she isn't involved." I say flatly, on one level it's true but on another I know she'd be devastated to find out he did this rather than go to her.

"How do you know that she isn't—how can you be sure?"

"I just am."

"What, strap her to a lie detector? Pull out some of your '_techniques_'?"

"Oh yeah, strapped her down and tortured her for a bit, that's actually what I was doing last night." I smirk before taking a drink of my cooling coffee. "Got tired of waiting for answers."

"I think you would make a very sexy dominatrix-have you ever gone uncover as one?" his eyebrow raises, smirk coating his lips.

"You already know the answer to that." I glare before a smirk overtakes my mouth. "Ass."

"Always baby," he chuckles, devilish smirk over his lips that soon fades. "You love her don't you?"

"Conner-don't, not today."

"It's been ten years Lauren, it's time." I look up at him in surprise, the tears still in my eyes now dangerously close to slipping.

"I thought you hated Bo?"

"I don't like her, but if you say she's good then," he shrugs. "I trust your judgment, I always have and always will."

"Do you?"

"First and foremost to me you will always be my sister, yeah we aren't blood and you never got a chance to marry my sister but—ten years Lauren. It's time to let it go; you deserve to smile genuinely without it being at me or Kenzi. You deserve to have a relationship that isn't forced upon you by work, you deserve to make love to someone and not—"

"Get paid for it?" I snort, taking a drink of my coffee.

"Last week I put a bullet in Hendrix's head and in two years Cane will be executed, it's all over. It's okay to move on."

"Why do I feel like you're trying to get rid of me?"

"I'm not but I got some news yesterday that's—given me a new perspective."

"What?"

"Sara is pregnant, you're going to be an aunt."

"What?" I can't help but smile as I put my coffee down and stand up. "That's—I can't believe it." I laugh softly while I walk around the desk to meet him as he pulls me into his arms. "That is amazing, did you tell Kenz yet?"

"Yeah, told her yesterday—if you would have answered any of your billion phones I would have been able to inform you too."

"This is the best news I've heard in—I'm so happy for you." I feel a tear slip down my cheek. "This is—"

"This is the start of a new beginning," he says firmly, hand cupping my cheek. "For all of us."

* * *

_**The Dal-11:48 p.m.**_

"Today has been shit," I say getting her to look up at me with the most perplexed look I have ever seen. "But I found something out today that—I say things like faith and hope because they are the words that fit but I haven't meant them in a long time. For the first time in a long time I think I recognize the real meanings to them though."

"Can you just," her voice breaks as she looks away from me. "Please just let me be Lauren."

"Lachlan is my brother," her attention snaps back to me. "I mean he was Cassidy's brother and has been my partner for ten years so—he's my brother and today I just found out that his wife, his wife who is supposed to be infertile is pregnant."

"Um—congratulations?"

"I've been pushing you away because I've been holding onto her, I've been holding onto this guilt and this anger and-you think I was fighting you because of who I am but it hasn't been about that in a very long time—maybe in some ways it's never been about that."

"Lauren," she whispers, features so stern as she tries to keep from letting the tears in her eyes fall.

"I feel horrible, mostly at the moment because we're just counting down the minutes until we get the call for another body but-" I cut myself off, swallowing the lump in my throat and looking down at the floor. "I've fallen for you Bo."

"I-I um," she stands up and looks at anything and everything but me. "I—can't do this right now." She blurts out as she pushes passed me to disappear into the crowd.

* * *

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_**Sunday**_

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_**Lexington Commons—1:19 a.m.**_

"Bo?" I let out softly still half asleep. "God, did they find another body already?" I ask glancing over my shoulder at the clock on the cable box.

"No." I turn to her voice, eyes still at half mass. "I owe you an apology."

"N—no you don't."

"I was—am angry with you and it was unfair to you tonight but—it was only in reaction to you being unfair as well."

"Me?" I let out without really thinking, it sounds dumb for me to play innocent at the moment but of all the choices of words to pick from unfair sort of threw me. "Sorry, I know—"

I'm cut off as her lips crash into mine, hands tightly holding the back of my head. My hands flew to her shoulders in response sort of pushing her away until I realized what was occurring—then I found them gripping her jacket and pulling her toward me.

They were opened lipped kisses but that was it, desperate and passionate in their own right.

It had been so long since I actually felt anything when being kissed, when being touched. I had even forgotten what lust had felt like in my endeavors, it's not to say I'm a professional whore but I have slept with more than one mark before, six including Evony to be exact—though she was more sort of a friends with benefits type of deal.

But with Bo—I actually felt everything and anything.

It's new and scary and given our current situation quite painful but God-I can literally feel myself becoming addicted.

"I am so mad at you," she breaths out against my lips, eyes glassy as she keeps ahold of my head. "I—I run when I'm hurt and when I'm scared." I give this little half nod as I sniffle back my own building tears. "I had started to run to him—to what I know but then—I thought—if I'm gonna run anywhere then it may as well be to you."

"Bo," my hands cupping her cheeks. "I am so sorry, you have to believe me that—" I cut myself off as she shakes her head.

"I-I don't want to talk." Her lips on mine again for a forceful kiss. "I can't talk now because I am so pissed at you," another kiss. "So beyond belief heartbroken," another kiss that lasts a bit longer. "But I don't want to fuck up any chance of something because of that—so I don't want to talk."

"O—okay." I sigh out, this time my lips falling onto hers.

Honestly, I didn't want to talk either.

* * *

_**Lexington Commons—3:36 a.m.**_

My eyes open, mind still hazy as I reach out and grab my phone off of the night stand.

_**UNKNOWN:**_ _Hey babe, feeling better? __**(3:35 a.m.)**_

Unknown-Bo?

I roll over onto my back to the sound of a soft moan, glancing over Bo is still completely nude and sprawled out with her face in my pillow-obviously in no condition to send a text message.

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_**UNKNOWN: **__Are you still mad? __**(3:37 a.m.)**_

_**UNKNOWN:**_ _Babe you know it is a major distraction when you're mad at me. __**(3:37 a.m.)**_

_**UNKNOWN: **__Come on Bella. __**(3:37 a.m.)**_

_**.**_

I bolt upright, this terrifyingly sick feel rushing through me—engulfing me.

I feel sick-I feel dizzy-this has to be a nightmare brought on by my stress levels beginning to reach the point of overdrive.

.

_**UNKNOWN:**_ _Got your attention yet? __**(3:38 a.m.)**_

_**UNKNOWN: **__Old Canter Lane, you should remember it. __**(3:38 a.m.)**_

_**.**_

I start to reach out to shake Bo awake but I pull my hand back, this would bring up to many questions, questions I didn't have time for—and honestly she would be needed if they called for another body.

This is my mess, not hers.

I slip from the bed as quietly as possible, pulling my gun from under the nightstand before I even think about clothes.

* * *

_**Old Canter Lane—4:30 a.m.**_

The sun isn't even close to being up yet and considering this is the country there is no lights—nothing to guide my way.

I hold my weapon tight, my feet sinking in the mud slightly with every step taken. It must have rained instead of snowed tonight—perfect way to get rid of evidence—I'm sure Bo has already gotten a call.

I swallow the lump in my throat, my chest growing heavier by the second.

It had been ten years since I'd been out here but I remember this land like it was yesterday.

Nothing had been touched, the land condemned and left—no one wanted the association with the reputation this place had. They never did anything here but this was where we had found them all, in a matter of one minute this place had become condemned never to be thought of again unless mentioned in horror stories.

Fifteen people killed, nine injured and four more arrested without incident. There was another eight officers killed and fourteen injured but I will NEVER say the numbers of that day without making the clarification.

I look back over my shoulder—my car too far to see now.

But in front of me the barn is just a hundred feet up—that I can see clearly.

Even through the darkness and the fog like mist I can see it—this place so intricately etched into my memory like a tattoo—no, more like a brand.

Approaching the barn I flick the safety off and take a deep breath-I had thought all of Cane's original followers were gone-guess I was wrong.

Cautiously I creep along the wall toward the door, the chain is off and it's ajar just a bit.

Gripping the handle I hold and listen for sounds but other than the howl of the wind there is nothing.

This is what I really was, I was a federal agent—not a simple medical examiner—that was an illusion-this was me.

I need to keep reminding myself of this.

This was by far the longest I had been undercover and I can see the string signs of fatigue-signs that I am forgetting what I really am.

Well in this moment I need to be very much aware of who exactly I am.

Not the woman who has taken pleasure in a normal job and who likes the idea of double dates with her sister and her boyfriend. Not the woman who is already planning helping her brother pick out strollers and cribs because he'll tell his wife he'll do it and then call me for help. Not the woman who has stupidly and crazily fallen in love with a woman who is waiting in her bed.

No-I can't be that woman right now.

One last deep breath to settle the nerves as I pull open the door and take three steps in eyes glancing over the area but my eyes catch on a pair of shoes hanging from the air.

My eyes move up from the shoes to the pair of legs they belong to covered by two-hundred dollar, black dress pant as I lower my weapon. My heart pounding so hard it hurts but it doesn't feel real. Eyes meeting an unbuttoned shirt that should have been white but instead is a bright red.

I can't breathe—my world is spinning and I can't breathe.

I force my eyes away as I gasp for air, nausea attacking in tidal sized waves.

"J-Jesus." A plea for help—for strength-because I can't think of anything else to say? "Oh—oh God." I can feel the tears welling in my eyes.

It can't be—it just can't be.

Gasping for air I force my eyes back up to confirm what I knew the second I saw the shoes.

I feel myself fall to my knees as my world continues to spin out of control—I think I'm going to pass out-or I'm going to be sick-possibly both.

I hear a creak—I think it's the door and instincts luckily kick in as my attention and the aim of my weapon are at the door instantly.

"Lauren-it's me."

I hear the voice and I see the shape but I can't place it between the tears and the lack of oxygen considering I can't control my breathing.

"Lauren, it's me. It's Bo."

"B—Bo?" I whisper blinking back tears, her shape filling in as I watch her put her weapon away and walk over to me.

"Yeah it's me." She says gently as she kneels down in front of me, eyes up on his dangling body. "It's okay, I'm here." She tries to sooth me, her hands on my shoulders. "It's okay." She repeats as I collapse into her arms. "You're okay." Words muffled as she kisses the side of my head, my face buried in her shoulder.


	7. Two For One

A.N. Just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone reading and sharing your thoughts, this is my first AU so I've been nervous. Lol And a special thanks to InevitablyWicked for writing the last scene and all the other help she is **always** giving me.

* * *

_**Chapter Seven: Two For One**_

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**(Lauren's POV)**

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_**Old Canter Lane-5:15 a.m. **_

A twenty to twenty-six inch liner incision along the victim's abdominal area which is deep and wide enough to expose several of the victim's organs….

….fancy doctor speak to delicately say the man I consider my brother has been ripped open and has his insides hanging out.

I keep staring at his stupid shoes, his stupid three hundred dollar shoes that he just had to have because he thought he was the next James Bond—Cassidy wasn't much different than him, always had to have the best and look their best and be their best.

I suppose it's a good thing he has so many damn suits, we won't have to worry about what to bury him in.

I can't help but chuckle softly to myself as I sniffle back tears.

How did he get caught?

This is Conner Lachlan, the next James Bond—my big-brother, my senior agent, my handler, the only father figure I ever knew—that Kenzi ever knew, my partner.

He was supposed to be Batman or Superman or whatever other dumbass superhero—he was supposed to be untouchable.

Well hanging by his neck from a rickety old beam in some old, abandoned barn with his guts hanging out sure as hell didn't scream invincible.

Another soft chuckle as I wipe the tears from my face.

I glace over at Tamsin and Dyson who are standing off near the door snickering and looking at me with judgmental eyes—who are they to judge me? They're two dumbasses who can't even figure out their need for money is funding terrorist—yeah that is a pair who can judge me-funny. Hale and Bo are talking off to my right, another pair staring at me and judging—they weren't much better than their '_friends_'. She had called it in, the whole barn swarming with senseless officers—I should have said no, called in my own people—too late now they've contaminated everything already.

I run my hand over my face wiping away tears—why am I crying-oh right—Lachlan is dead.

What was he doing out here? Why didn't he call me? Did he call me and I was too busy? Was I too busy with Bo—focusing on myself that I missed his call? How did he let this happen?

I look back up at him—at his face.

I can only seem to manage to look at his shoes or his face-I can't look in between.

I've seen so many mutilated bodies—far worse than this. I've seen burn victims, acid victims, and biological weapons victims. I've seen dismembered body parts—cut off and torn off. I've seen torture victims. I've seen a lot but for some reason I can't seem to force myself to look at what was done to him.

At least his face is okay—we can have an open casket.

Sara will appreciate that—the agency will too. We can show him off like some Saint complete with his grieving '_sisters_' and his pregnant wife—I wonder if our dear Prime Minister will come—oh how she loved to utilize him. It'll be a huge spectacle—even bigger than they made Cassidy's funeral—and that was a spectacle. At least I don't have to take center stage as the grieving lover-don't think I remember how to play that part anymore.

Why is he here-right we don't know yet.

My hands go to my face trying to wipe away the tears—trying to stop them from falling. But for some reason the unconscious knowledge of knowing they can't see me only makes me begin to cry harder.

Why am I crying-right Lachlan is dead.

I take two deep breaths and sniff back tears, wiping them away as I remove my hands. I can't hide—I don't hide—I didn't hide when Cassidy died I sure as hell won't do it now.

I find myself looking at his shoes again but this time something is different—they're moving.

I mean they aren't just moving a little because he is dangling with a rope around his neck and there is quite a breeze but moving like he is moving-why is he moving?

I look up to his face and then up a bit more to the cross walk from one side of the barn to the next—a pair of uniformed officers trying to pull him up—by the rope.

"Wh—what are you doing?" I ask using the back of my hand to wipe the tears away. "What are you doing?" I ask again a little louder as I start to push myself up, a slight stumble as circulation begins returning to my legs. "Stop doing that!" I know I yell but apparently that is the only way to get them to stop.

Oh yeah they stop alright—they let him go and his body jerks in the air—the wood making a cracking sound with his weight once again abruptly pulling on it.

I hear Tamsin yell something at them but I can't make it out—my eyes going to his body that is now spinning to the right in a hundred and sixty degree turn—then to the left—then the right.

One of the officers comes rushing down the littler ladder and runs over as the one on top tries to grab for Lachlan's shoulders.

This time I hear Hale's voice—I don't know what he's saying all I can focus on is the fact that this incompetent officer is now trying to reach up and get Lachlan's body to stop moving—he's too high though.

Hale's voice again but all I see now is Lachlan's shoe falling to the ground, falling into dirt and remnants of straw—he's going to be pissed those are his favorite shoes-wait he won't-he's dead.

"Stop!" I hear myself yell as I grab a hold of the officer's jacket. "Stop touching him! Just stop! Leave!" I know I'm yelling—I know I'm pulling the officer backward to the point we're both stumbling but it doesn't feel real—none of this feels real. "Get away from him!" I shove the young boy back and stand in front Lachlan's body. "Don't touch him! Stop touching him! Just everyone get out!"

I hear my voice breaking, my vision blurring but I don't care—I lean down grabbing his shoe and brushing it off—he's going to be so mad-no-he won't.

I turn around, trembling hands reaching up in the air as I try and put his shoe back on—I'm not tall enough—nowhere near.

"Lauren," I hear my name whispered so gently it almost hurts, a slight weight against the left side of my body as I feel a trembling hand lightly rest over my wrist. "Look at me." She orders so softly that I can't help but look over.

"He needs his shoe, it's his favorite pair." I breathe out, suddenly all too aware of this weight in my chest.

"They're nice I can see why," she nods, hand sliding up over mine to grab the shoe. "I promise it'll be put back on him."

"No—no I don't trust—"

"Lauren, I got it." I look over at Hale who reaches out.

"Move." I turn behind myself at the sound of Tamsin's bark as she pushes the uniformed officer aside and starts up the ladder. I watch as she walks across the cross-walk to meet the other, a gesture of her hand dismissing him as she kneels down.

"Lauren." Hale repeats giving me this little nod as he takes the shoe from both me and Bo's embrace.

"We've got it." Bo whispers in my ear, one hand on the small of my back as the other is resting on my stomach—she's guiding me backward.

I watch as Hale places the shoe down and then reaches up—Dyson across from him doing the same as Tamsin cuts the rope with a pocket knife. I try to move back toward them but her embrace is too strong so instead I just let her guide me away and continue to watch Lachlan's body falls into their arms.

* * *

_**Saint Andrew's Hospital-8:03 a.m.**_

"Why is he here and not at the morgue?" Kenzi barks glaring down at me—my eyes are on the floor but I know she is glaring.

"Because I can't do the autopsy."

"Oh," I look up at her, she's leaning against the wall her little features trying so hard to remain stern but I know she is just one wrong word away from crying. "O—okay, yeah I get that." She nods and glances away with a sniffle.

"Kenzi, I need to tell you something and it isn't the best time—"

"Then don't."

"I have to because after what happened at the-there is no turning back now. It's only a matter of time, Kenzi my cover was blown."

"What?" her attention snaps to me, pure fear written across her face. "Shit. We gotta call this in, we gotta get you outta here."

"Kenz," I shake my head. "It's been blown for over a day now. Bo-"

"Bo?" she snorts out through a chuckle. "You've gotta be shitting me."

"Ju—just listen to me—"

"Listen to you? You just blew your cover to some dirty cop? To a cop that isn't even good at her job? To someone who whores herself out on a nightly bases?"

"Enough!" I yell jumping to my feet. "Enough." I repeat softer catching myself. "She wasn't going to say anything—but I lost my—" I can't manage to finish that sentience, I can't even begin to process what I'm feeling let alone continue to admit one failure after the next. "I am so sorry."

"Oh get the fuck over yourself Lauren. You got sloppy for some pussy and just threw not only your mission but my relationship out of the window."

"What did you think was going to happen Kenzi? That you'd become a CSIS agent and he wouldn't figure it out? That he'd come over for family dinners and not wonder why Lachlan is-was there? You weren't exactly thinking either."

"I didn't lie to him!" she yells taking the three steps it takes to get in my face.

"Who are you kidding?"

"At least what we have is real."

"What does that mean?" I feel my eyes narrow, as I hold a breath—we didn't fight like this—we hardly ever fought actually. "What does that mean?" I repeat a little harder, the feel of my nostrils flaring telling me I needed to back down.

"It means what it sounds like, you think this little thing with Bo is going to last?"

"Whatever Kenz, I can't do this with you now." I wave her off as I begin down the hall. "You know he was happy for me!" impulsion takes over as I spin back around. "He gave me his blessing. He wanted me to be happy."

"So do I! Jesus Christ Lauren, you don't think I want you to be happy?! I want that for you, I want you to be able to stop mourning—to stop hanging onto a ghost but you think Bo is that?! You think she is going to be able to be who you need?!"

"I don't need her to be anything!" I move forward by three steps as she does the same.

"Forget the personality, forget the fact that she is crooked and has more issues than an episode of Jerry Springer-fuck all of that Lauren what happens when this is all over? Huh?! What happens when the adrenalin and thrill is gone and the intensity and constant situations pushing you two together?" she takes another two steps once again getting into my face, eyes locking with mine. "You think that this is real—it's laughable. What you have is attraction and a common need which is being amplified by every single situation that's happened."

"Reading my books again?"

"Once all is said and done—a month after or two or three or six-all of this is going to come back up Lauren. Yeah maybe she is okay now, now in this moment that you two have to work together to save children and in this morning that your brother was just ripped in two. But what about then?"

"I'm not having this discussion with you now." I snap, blinking back tears as I turn back around.

"You don't think she'll care then that you spy-banged her? You don't think that will come up? Or what about the fact that you're going to have to arrest her ex and all her friends? What about the fact that she knows nothing about you—that you can't even tell her what you really do or what you've done?" she pauses, tears rolling down her cheeks, voice lowering. "What you're feeling isn't love, everything-you lied to her, spy-banged her for the government, arresting all of the people she knows, spied on her-these aren't things you can just forgive."

"Well you better hope it is Kenz-because I don't think Hale is going to see your situation very different than my own." I swallow back the lump in my throat, ignoring the little voice telling me to stop. "You've been lying to him, reporting to me anything he's let slip about his friends-his sister. You've been doing all of this while in the final stages of applying to be a CSIS agent—and fucking him while doing so-guess we really are sisters, huh?"

* * *

_**City Morgue-12:14 p.m.**_

"Hey," I whisper as I look up to the knock on my office door. It wasn't so much meant to be a whisper as the fact that I just haven't spoken to anyone in three hours nor had I drank anything—just forgot about it I guess.

"Doctor." She smiles ever so gently, leaning against the door as she watches me.

Only this time I am watching her. Not in the way that I had been, not as someone who felt themselves beginning to fall for her. Not as someone who sees potential and doesn't want to ruin it. Not as someone who is hoping for something—hoping for what, I don't know but not as someone with hope.

This time I watch her with an objectivity I hadn't had in a while.

I see it instantly-see what Kenzi was warning me about. I see the pain and anger just underneath a layer of affection and pity. I see that she really wants to call me names but instead she'll go with '_Doctor'_, her affectionate term for me. I can tell she wants to yell but she'll settle for a soft and soothing tone. I can tell she wants to be the only way she knows—aggressive but instead she'll lean against my propped open office door with her arms folded across her chest keeping an unusual distance between us. I can tell she wants to hurt me—not physically because something tells me she knows physical pain is just as lost on me as it is on her.

I can see that she is doubting my words to her—my feelings for her, it's a shame because I've never been more sure about anything.

But I am a realistic woman and in an instant I can see all of this, in a second all of Kenzi's words were proven true—so I guess there really isn't a future here is there?

"You think too much."

"Hm?"

"You think too much," she repeats herself, this hardening to her tone as she looks away from me for a moment. "I can see your little hamster running around in there."

"I prefer Smurf."

"I'm sorry?" her brow furrows as her head tilts to the right.

"I prefer Smurf instead of hamster."

"Let me guess, Brainy-Smurf?"

"No, Sporty actually." My eyebrow raises, almost daring her to make that comment I know she has on the tip of her tongue by the way she fights a smirk.

"Now that I would have never guessed," she chuckles through a smile and shakes her head at me. "You never cease to surprise me." She meant it playfully—endearingly but her smile gradually begins to fade and we both know why.

"Just say it." I glance down at my desk as I pull my glasses off.

"They're putting the pieces together Lauren, there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"It's fine, after my little performance I'm surprised they aren't here kicking down my door with pitchforks."

"Given the situation," she cuts herself off, eyes falling to the floor once again.

It's sweet how despite everything she thinks I'm made of glass, if she only knew the real me.

"Excuse me." Evony's voice cuts through the tension filled air pulling both of our attention to the door. "Detective Dennis, perhaps if you answered your phone rather than socializing you'd know we have another body."

"What?" we say in union.

"If you hurry you may be able to catch your partner before he leaves." She says it as a suggestion but we both know it's about as kind of an order as this woman can manage.

Bo looks over at me like this broken puppy dog, that pain and mistrust that was laying just beneath the surface now written all over her face. But she doesn't know what she feels when it comes to me and she fears Evony so she looks away as she slides passed her boss who walks in, closing the door behind herself as I stand.

"I don't honestly know what I am more pissed off about, the fact that I got played or that I didn't see it." She says with an icy smirk, a slight glisten to her eyes.

"Come on Ev," I give this little shrug as a smirk coats my lips. "It wasn't all bad." Smirk growing as I walk out from behind my desk, leaning against the side edge of it. "I don't ever remember you complaining—though you did seem to have your mouthful a lot."

"Lauren, Lauren, Lauren," she snorts a chuckle as she walks toward me, her own smirk coming out to play. "As pissed as I am there is a certain—beauty to this."

"Oh, I know." My hands sliding off of my thighs to the ledge of the desk. "The Great Evony Morgan out smarted by a geek in her own building surrounded by all of her own people."

"Really is one for the collection isn't it?" another chuckle as she finds her way in front of me, less than a foot between us. "Too bad big brother won't be here to see the medal you get for this one." She practically sings her words, my smirk faltering.

"Oh," I let out as I stand up straight, eyes locked with hers. "Are you trying to bait me?" I can't help but snicker, smirk quickly returning—she didn't get to see me hurt—she didn't get to see me upset. "That's adorable."

I know I make a face when I say it, I can feel it and was it a complete bitch move? Defiantly but the thing was, my cover is blown—I don't need to keep my head down and play the passive and shy one that no one ever noticed.

Well that and the fact I see her smile fade, her eyes narrow and I'm almost ninety percent sure she is about to hurl another insult my way but surprisingly she doesn't.

What she comes back with is a slap hard enough to cause me to stumble ever so slightly to my right.

Now I know I should have logically thought about what to say-what to do next in this situation considering my current predicament but as it turns out I'm not so much for logical thought at the moment.

As I begin to straighten myself upright I bring my arm up, back of my left hand going across her face, must have been a while since she's been hit because she starts to stumble back. Reacting on instinct same hand grabs a hold of her shoulder, thumb digging into her collarbone as I shove my other forearm against her chest and push her backward.

It's only a second maybe two and she is hitting my office door, the blinds making a racket as they're tugged on with the pressure of her weight. I'm sure they're fall down any moment—but they never do.

"You're full of surprises aren't you." She nearly snarls her words pushing against my hold not enough to be considered a struggle but enough that it tells me she'll fight if need be.

Honestly-I'm not quite sure what I had wanted to accomplish with this but then again I haven't really been thinking straight for the past couple of days.

Unlike with Bo, words weren't always needed with Evony—there was just this sort of understanding. She reacted and so did I—it meant neither of us were afraid of this turning into something beyond verbal attacks. Despite the fact that I am holding her in place and she is resisting neither of us is using enough force to hurt the other, it's just enough to let the other know that we aren't backing down.

There is a certain beauty in this sort of communication to me, it's dark and anti-social but there was a form of understanding that couldn't be learned—I had that with Lachlan-and Cassidy.

But there is also an equally unique beauty in having to vocalize yourself, to say the things that you never thought you would-that was more my relationship with Kenzi and apparently Bo.

I wonder if you ever get to have both.

"You don't know me Evony," I say calmly but firm enough to keep intone with the mood.

"Honestly Lauren," She smirks icily, hand reaching up over my arm to wipe the little trace of blood that coated her lip. "I don't think **anyone** truly knows you." her tone as if I should know the meaning behind that.

I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, honestly it was stupid, probably just something to gnaw at me but I can't quite describe why I find myself so taken back by it.

* * *

_**Cannon Road-12:58 p.m.**_

I step out of my car and I swear that I'm moving in slow motion.

It's not raining anymore nor snowing but it's cold, cold enough to see my breath clearly in the air but then again what did I expect in Montreal. The sky is this weird shade of blue, it's not even blue actually but a gray.

We're on a bridge, he's getting more and more daring now it's only been a couple of weeks and he's gone from the cover of night in a rundown neighborhood to a decently used bridge in the middle of the day.

What is his game-why does he seem all over the place yet never seeming to slip up? What are we missing-what am I missing?

I keep my hands in my pockets as I walk up, every single person's eyes on me. I wasn't a stranger to the attention, in fact most times wherever I went there were eyes on me though that was normally in fear of me for one reason or another.

Today though the stares are quite different, stares I haven't seen in years—I almost forgot what they were like.

There must be fifteen uniformed officers scattered all stopping their job to get a look at me—perhaps if they worried less about the personal events in their co-worker's lives then maybe they'd actually get work done.

But that's just it isn't it—I'm not their co-worker.

I don't know why it was so hard this time, it's Bo yes-but there is something more. Something that is pulling at a part of me I don't quite understand. A part of me that enjoyed the sound of Kenzi laughing in the mornings with Hale in our kitchen. A part of me that despite not caring for most of these people took a liking to the sense of loyalty that was there because I worked with them. A part of me that wondered what it would be like to get off of work and meet up with Bo and Hale and Kenzi at the bar and have a double-date so to speak.

I wanted this life-or maybe it was just that I wanted the life that came with Bo.

"Lauren." She says my name almost in a quieted panic, her hand on my shoulder.

"Bo," I say softly, gradually coming out of my thoughts. "What is it?"

"Maybe you should let your techs handle this."

I glance passed her at the three detectives standing over our latest victim—whether she was saying so because of Lachlan or because of them I don't quite know yet.

My eyes meet hers, she looks so scared for me—it's sweet yet at the same time only reminds me how true Kenzi's words are—she doesn't know me.

"It's okay." I smile gently and tap her arm before side stepping her and walking up to the victim.

Of course I see the looks that the three of them are giving me but dirty looks do little to nothing to upset me, I have bigger problems than Dyson and Tamsin's scowl or Hale's kicked-puppy look. I can be cold when I want to be, honestly most doctors can and so can most CSIS so the combination did wonders for me but it wasn't so much that today as the fact that nothing felt real.

In the grand scheme of things my life has been slowly spinning out of control for over a day and now it just felt like a dream.

I look down at the little body once again left clothed in her pink, princess pajamas.

"She is between four and five," I begin while pulling out a pair of gloves and placing them on. "The blue-ish color of her skin—"

"Could be because it's fucking freezing out here." Dyson snorts, hands in his pants pockets as he continues to glare at me.

"You think so?" I raise a brow. "Because often when someone is cyanotic," I glance up at him as I kneel down. "That mean asphyxiation, their skin will have a blue tint to it as our victim does and since we already know who did this and exactly how she died-it's safe to say it's because she was asphyxiated by water rather than hypo-thermia, yeah?"

"Bitch." I hear him grumble under his breath.

I would have had a retort of some kind but as I am leaning over her checking for wounds to her neck I get the faintest hint of something. I tilt my head back trying to shake my hair from my face before leaning back down awkwardly, my nose just above her mouth.

"Smell this," I say looking up at the group and expecting someone to do as I say but the four of them just look amongst each other. "I smell acetone, I need to make sure it isn't just me."

"Move." Tamsin barks in her normal fashion as her hand slams against Dyson's chest to move him as she walks around opposite me making sure to glare at me the entire time. Keeping my gaze but none the less she kneels down and does as I '_asked'_. "You got to be shitting me, that's fucking chloroform." She snorts out this near baffled chuckle looking from me up to them.

The five of us looking amongst one another, by no means were any of us okay with each other but this was something new—this was clue that we didn't have before.

Was this new and if so why? If this wasn't new how did I miss it-could I have missed it? Why was he suddenly so erratic? Is he evolving into something more-or was he unraveling?

* * *

_**The Club House—10:47 p.m.**_

"C-can I come in?" I ask brushing passed the fact she pushes the door open and has a gun pointed at me for the second time this week.

"Of course." She says after a moment of hesitation, her weapon lowering.

It's almost funny considering she is in short, black shorts and a matching sleeveless tee and has a gun—some thirteen year old boy's wet dream—can't lie it was visually appealing to the thirty-five year old woman standing in front of her too but that was another topic entirely.

She steps aside and I walk in stopping almost exactly at the spot I was standing two days ago, only this time I can see better. She as candles set up all over the apartment or at least what I can see of it. It looks sort of romantic in it's own right.

"Do you have anything to drink?"

She hesitates again as she closes the door, taken back by me being here most likely. Possibly taken back by the fact I would ask for a drink in a shit-hole like this but then again I know her, I've spent three months watching her and another three before this reading every file ever written on her so that makes me qualified to make some assumptions.

I wish I could say I knew she'd run here rather than face the fallout of Hale and possibly anyone else who would pop up at the apartment or that I knew she had a bag packed just in case of anything really because I was so in-love with her, that I had paid that much attention to her but the truth of the matter was it was-is my job to know her.

"Yeah," she sort of sighs out while walking up the hall, placing her gun on this ledge in the wall that I can't help but wonder if it's supposed to be there or if the lack of dry wall conveniently created a nice little covey for her.

She reaches her destination which is in half of an arm's reach of me, I'm not sure if she preferred that for the fact that she could actually touch me if she wanted to or if there was another reason. She wasn't one who liked to invade personal boundaries—well let me rephrase that, she didn't like to invade them unless she had a reason.

For three months I watched her and very rarely did she ever get this close when talking to Tamsin or Evony or really anyone. There was a certain lax boundary rule with Hale of course and then Dyson but otherwise she liked her space, even times with me I can tell she prefers it—maybe not prefers it so much as gets uncomfortable if I move too close when she isn't expecting it.

I wonder if Dyson ever noticed that-I wonder if he ever took the time to get to learn the little things about her like that.

"Actually I think," her eyes gradually meet mine, I see her point off toward the kitchen but my eyes stay on hers. "It might be by my bed." she has this nervous smile and there is a hesitation, one that tells me she is studying me—wondering how I'll respond to that—wondering if I'll take it as an invitation or let it slide as an innocent comment, I choose the latter. "I'll be right back."

She is disappointed I know and if I am honest I think I am a little disappointed in myself as well but I don't know why I am here—I don't know where we stand and I need to know that. I know she said she wouldn't say anything before but now this was a different game, everyone knew and I'm sure they knew about us as well.

I walk over and take a seat on her couch, it would appear as if she has dusted it off. Leaning back against the cushion I let my body relax, it was oddly comfortable, not just the couch itself but the place as a whole. Maybe it was because it was hers or maybe it was because no one knows where we are, sort of our own little hideaway-for the moment.

"I don't have glasses so," I glance up at her as she gives me this apologetic half smile and a shrug. "I mean you don't seem to mind kissing me so," apologetic turns to sheepish as her eyes fall to my lips, sometimes I forget how much younger she is than me.

"It's not a problem." reaching out I take the bottle and take a little drink as I watch her sit down next to me. "That's—that's pretty strong."

"Confiscated it from Trick." she smirks, a sense of confidence returning as she watches me take another drink with an interesting intensity.

"Th—thank you, I really needed this." I go to hand her the bottle but she lazily lifts up her hand waving it off.

"Life hasn't been very fair to you," she wholeheartedly means her words but I have to bring the bottle back up to my lips to keep from chuckling, here she was saying that to me, she was an interesting one I'll give her that. "Honestly you're the strongest person I know."

"Do you know I did my hair before I came over here?" I sort of snicker at my own words, this heavy feeling pulling at me again suddenly.

"Well—it looks great." she gives me this smile as she takes the bottle from me, complete confusion radiating off of her but she is too polite to say anything.

"No, I didn't mean-thank you." a little sigh escapes as I begin to mentally kick myself—what am I doing here? "It's just that the doctor part of me never shuts off and I know that I am merely acting out of a transference of grief onto you—wanting to have sex is a very common response to grief."

Wow Lauren-this is a new level of pathetic for yourself. Of all the things I could have gone with I choose to do this-and then spell out for her why I am crazy. I could have kissed her and been done—I could have left it at transference of grief-hell I could have left it at I did my hair before coming here but no I decided to ramble on and explain my entirely jumbled thought process that I myself don't even understand—wonderful.

God she looks confused and nervous and uncomfortable and confused-shit.

"Biologically speaking the transference often helps move the pain—sort of use it as something else. Turn it into something different—something better."

Yep and I just keep going—am I sure I'm a CSIS agent because they know when to shut up-I used to know when to shut up.

"Yeah," she sighs her response while letting her eyes fall down to her lap-I've freaked her out, nice move Lauren. "I can see how intimacy would do that." she finishes her sentience as she looks up into my eyes and I forget to think—to breathe for a moment.

"It's in much the same way a person whose having a heart attack often feels a sharp pain in their left arm, it's the brains way of redistributing the pain-so it's not all concentrated in one area." Someone shoot me now, just shoot me I can't believe I have zero control over what I'm saying.

"I love it when you totally geek out." she says it through this massive smile and had this been any other occasion I would have been right smiling back, having a laugh at how geeky I can be but I can't seem to find a balance between-well anything in myself right now.

"Can I sleep with you?" I blurt it out, another un-thoughtout slip.

"Yes."

"I just mean sleep," I see the little twinge of disappointment creep in as her nervous smile fades ever so slightly but the fact I can hear my own voice begin to break grabs my attention.

"Yeah, exactly." her features tense a bit and whatever disappointment was there gets shuffled away as she picks up on a hurt in me that I'm trying desperately not to show.

"I—I'm-" I look over to the table, I wanted to tell her something against my better judgment. I wanted to tell her how scared I am about everything, how tired I am—how much pain I am in but I can't seem to find the words.

I don't cry—I don't show hurt not really, I mean I'm well aware how to mimic it for my job but it's been so long since I've actually felt it. The list of people who could hurt me before Bo was exactly three, Kenzi, Lachlan and Sarah-Sarah just barely made the list as it is, not that I don't care about her but I've just made sure to keep a distance.

I want to show her that beneath the agent, beneath this chilled exterior that she has come to know there is someone, a real person who feels—only problem was I don't remember how to show that.

"Hey," this little gentle whisper accompanying an equally gentle smile as she leans forward resting her hand innocently on my knee. "It's okay."

She says it so softly yet with such conviction, I can't help but wonder though if she means it's okay to sleep here with her or if she means it's okay that I don't have to give her a reason. Perhaps she sees beneath it all and is telling me that it's okay to an admission I hadn't yet had the courage to say aloud.

"So," she leans back and suddenly there is this awkwardness beginning to swirl around us. Her lips parting to say something but she must decide against it since rather than speaking she takes a large gulp of tequila. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Um," I raise a brow and give a little scoff. "I don't know actually, I'm not really a big talker."

"Oh come on Lauren, you're a CSIS agent aren't you guys supposed to be smooth talkers, get information and shit like that?" another hefty gulp at the reminder of who I really am.

"That isn't my—field." I look away from her as I take the bottle.

"You guys have fields?"

"Yep, we aren't all a bunch of field agents." I take a drink and begin thinking of evasive maneuvers for this conversation.

"Then what exactly do you do?" she asks but there is this hint of anger now. "Okay, where was your last assignment?" she waits, staring at me. "So, that's it—what I know about you now is all I get to know?"

"You don't want to know these things Bo." and I don't want to tell you-I'm afraid of how you'll look at me when you know.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't."

"You ask because you're curious," a drink before I look back over at her. "You ask because you're searching for something, you think if you know it'll give you that feeling of emotional connection—you don't actually want to know."

"I want to know because I want to know who you are Lauren." she reaches out and I go to hand her the bottle but her hand rests over mine, beautifully dark eyes peering into mine—searching for something.

"I'm a class six Information Specialist which is a fancy title for an interrogator."

"There is classes for that?" she sort of chuckles as she leans to her left into the cushion, hand falling down to my knee.

"One domestic, two foreign, three lightly aggressive tactics, four aggressive tactics, five severe tactics and six," hesitation hidden as I take another drink before handing it to her. "Specialist in all five prior classifications."

"I um, I think I know what that means but I haven't had the best luck when it comes to making assumptions about you so-"

"It's what you're thinking."

"Oh. Okay," she nods and takes a drink while I just watch her and wait for her to start to pull away.

"I've administered a hundred and sixty-three interrogations in fifteen different countries, fifty seven of which required—tactics. I've been stabbed three times and shot twice. I don't remember how many people I've killed anymore, it got easier to ignore the number after five."

"H—how does one become a," she trails off while she sits up straight, tossing her legs over the ledge rather then keeping them underneath herself and puts the bottle down on the table.

"Something happened pretty early in my career that made my bosses think I was a good fit, not to mention having three degrees helps."

"Three?" she glances back up at me, eyes widened.

"When I was sixteen I tested out of high school and began college, it's possible if you're dedicated. I was still finishing up my last degree when I became an agent."

"So I'm guessing one of them is medical?" I just nod. "The other would be what, criminology?" another nod. "The third though," she pauses eyes running over my face in a different way than they normally do. "Sociology—No," she shakes her head. "Psychology?" another nod. "Well here I thought you thought I was stupid when you had one degree." she snorts and looks away, this time it's my turn to lean forward, hand resting on the small of her back.

"I don't think you're stupid Bo."

"Well you can't really tell the girl you're sleeping with she is stupid—I guess you could, Dyson sorta does."

"I don't." free hand reaching out and cupping her cheek forcing her to look back at me. "I really don't think you're stupid Bo, honestly I think if you would have had proper training you'd be replacing Evony in a couple years."

"Stop." she tries to turn away.

"My job is to assess people-"

"I thought your job was to interrogate them."

"Can't interrogate them without assessing them first," my hand gliding down her jawline to the crook of her neck. "I see so much in you Bo, I wish that you would believe in yourself the way that I do."

"I need to ask you a question," she swallows hard and glances away from me for a mere moment. "Is this about her?" what she really means to ask me is if she is a replacement for her.

"No." I say flatly as I pull back. "Cassidy was very much like her brother, very much like me in some ways—well who I am now. She didn't really have many emotions, not that there was anything wrong with that but she was either happy or angry or excited, there was no variations. She was beautifully simplistic."

"And me?" her voice a heavy whisper, eyes refusing to let mine go as she searches for the answers she desires.

"Beautifully complicated."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." she smirks heavily and begins looking away. "Well," sighing it out she stands, hands tapping her thighs. "Ready to try and get some rest?"

"Yeah," I nod.

I want to say something, to comfort her but I don't think there is a way to comfort her and the doubt she is feeling. So instead I just follow her through the living room and then up the narrow staircase into her room. Surprise replacing my guilt—at least for the moment.

"What?" her brow furrows as she looks back at me while walking around the bed.

"Nothing, I just was expecting-"

"I had a lot of pent up energy," she pulls the burgundy sheet down the bed. "I would have normally worked it off by—um," she catches herself and gives this chuckle while moving onto the bed. "Or a good fight but I don't really have anyone to spar with and I'm tired so I ended up cleaning and since I have to sleep here now figured may as well start with the bedroom."

"No, smart." I sort of chuckle as I slip from my shoes.

Don't get me wrong it wasn't like walking into the Hilton but it was actually clean and looked livable. It was a good sized room and the fact that only four pieces of furniture were in here helped showcase that fact. A long dresser along the wall right besides the closed glass doors that lead into the bathroom, a chair in the corner on the other side of the doors. Then the bed with a single nightstand next to what I am now assuming is her side of the bed.

"Do you do that naturally or just with me?"

"Hm?" my eyebrow raises as my attention moves back to her.

"Getting a layout of the place."

"Sorry, it's a natural reaction—don't you?"

"Not in places I know I'm safe." she says it and I know there is an underline meaning there I just don't know if that is her telling me I am safe or her way of asking why I don't trust her enough to feel safe.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and walk over to the edge of the bed, smiling nervously at her. She's slept in my bed twice now, both times sexual and both times never enough time to really think about what we were doing beyond the physical aspects so now with sex off the table it was slightly awkward.

"There isn't a magic password." she smirks, I think she is getting a certain level of joy from this.

Taking it sort of as a challenge I maneuver myself onto the bed but rather than laying next to her or leaning against the headboard as she is I rest my head on her stomach, arm draping over her waist. It was sort of to prove a point, to show her I wasn't scared but I can't help this rush I feel the second I hear her heart.

I feel tears pulling in the corners of my eyes and I want to laugh at myself but instead I hold her tighter and just listen to her heart beating.

Is this what safe felt like?

I feel safe with Kenzi of course but it's the comfort of a sister, it's an emotional comfort and I felt safe with Lachlan too that was an emotional safe yet not quite as much as with Kenzi yet with him there was also the feeling of protection—it was his job most times after all. But this with her it's both and neither yet so much more that it's hard to describe.

The love and comfort a sister or bother can bring you can never cross over into the realms of comfort a lover can but in some ways a lover can cross those boundaries, I mean after all a brother or sister is really just having a best friend—who most times is related by blood.

Sure I had felt safe with Cassidy at the time but I was a different person then with different things I needed to be protected from-accepted for.

I look at Bo and a part of me beyond logic or reason tells me that she would protect me no matter what, that she would do what ever it took to keep me safe. I look at her through the pain and see an acceptance at what she knows yet still a yearning to know more. I see through her desire and natural sexual behavior to see someone trying desperately to make a connection that she doesn't know how to make nor fully understand.

Perhaps it is crazy to try to explain and rationalize all of the reasons you feel safe with someone the same way it would be to explain truly why you love someone.

This tiny little moan grabs my attention, muddled mind taking a moment to realize what it was and who it was from. I had been so deep into my musings I hadn't even felt that her hand was idly and innocently running over my back soothing me. Nor had I realized that my own hand was on her thigh, fingers idly and not so innocently playing with and just under the hem of her shorts.

I should have pulled my hand away when I realize what I was doing but instead I lay my hand flat, thumb moving so it was resting on the inside of her thigh.

She doesn't speak, not even a peep nor does she move but I hear her heart begin to speed.

I can't help but wonder what it would be like to make love to her, such an interesting concept to me. There has to be a level of trust—of knowing and accepting the other person so I can't classify our first time as that. I suppose if we were to do something tonight it could be a cheap classification of that but there is still so much left unsaid, so much left to deal with-I wouldn't want that. I want to know what it feels like to actually make love, to be able to look her in the eyes and see love, to kiss her lips afterword and tell her how I feel before falling asleep in her arms. I want to know the real thing, not some cheap imitation.

I turn my face further into her stomach, breathing in her scent as I keep my grip firm but slide up underneath her shorts, a sharp breath taken as she grips my shoulder blade but again she says nothing.

I'm not touching_ 'her'_, but I can tell two things, one she isn't wearing underwear-I don't think she hardly ever does. The second is the effect I'm having on her, the inside of her thigh damp—I can't help but smirk momentarily into her stomach.

I don't think I've ever gotten such a rush of pride knowing what an effect I have on her. I wonder if this is what guys go on and on about, that whole prideful boasting and whatnot—if so I think I understand it a little better now.

I bite softly through her shirt as my hand slides across to her lower stomach, thumb teasingly resting over '_her'_ now.

I wonder what it would be like to fuck her, something else that requires a level of trust and acceptance—of course in different ways. The word is so commonly used now with so many different meanings but to me it requires trust and acceptance. Trust that you could do and say nearly anything and not be judged, trust to share that part of yourself and not be shamed. Acceptance that the person would do or try what you wanted because they want to please you, because they accept you and want to know you on a level that few to none have ever seen you.

Don't get me wrong, it' not like I have some crazy fantasy but I want to know what it's like to lose yourself beyond restraint and know that feeling that if I was to_ 'lose control' _I wouldn't need to worry.

"Lauren," she breathes out my name as I feel her body tensing.

I love the way she says my name, in general yes but I love the way it rolls off her tongue when she wants me.

I'm waiting for her to stop me but I know she won't.

I want to be stopped-but honestly I don't.

I slide up her body, quick kiss to her lips before my lips work their way down her tense jawline to the curve of her neck. I never understood how her skin and her clothes have different scents, not extremely noticeable and they're complementary but the difference is intriguing.

"Lauren." another breathless call as she grabs my face forcing me to face her.

I'm sure there are words that meant to follow that but her eyes focus on my parted lips before meeting my eyes with this intensity.

She isn't going to stop me and I'm not going to stop her.

Lips meet in a needful kiss—they were always needful with us.

I'm not going to lie and say I've hated every sexual encounter I've ever had, some weren't all bad and it's not as if I just laid there waiting for it to be over. I honestly don't even think it was the acts themselves so much as the knowing of why I was doing it-of seeing the bonus check at the end of assignment that is a problem for me. It's not like the check details what it's for but I know and that's what matters.

I don't think I would have even reported Evony this time if Lachlan hadn't been watching me close enough to know.

Kenzi thinks Bo's nature is something I should be concerned about but honestly I think my own is worse. She does what she does to feel a connection-to **feel **and I've done mine to fake one, force one—for a job.

I pull back looking into her eyes watching the different levels of intensity happening as my thumb slips lower.

I wonder if she trusts me—if she trusts that I'm being honest with her now or if it's all some part of my job. I wonder if she has stopped to think if I really want this-her or if I'm keeping up appearances.

I wonder what she's thinking-feeling-I wonder if she feels the same as me.

"It's okay," I whisper and give this gentle smile. I know she is trying her best to stay in control of herself, to not push this anywhere that I'm not leading. "It's okay." I repeat leaning back in, lips covering hers.

I don't know what this is, what we are but right now it doesn't matter—all that matters is that I know it's real.

.

.

.

_**Monday**_

.

.

.

_**The Club House-5:09 a.m.**_

"Ow," I grumble aloud as I roll onto my back, tilting my head side to side trying to get it to crack.

_'Sleeping in?'_

My eyes shoot open at the sound of the voice—of his voice. Bo isn't in bed—it's okay though she is in the shower I can see her from here.

_'Forgetting me already?' _

I sit up and feel my heart sink into my stomach, Lachlan standing over by her dresser. Smirk on his face, hands in his pockets with his thumbs out tapping his pelvic bone impatiently the way he tends to do.

_'Come on Lauren.'_

"You're a manifestation of my subconscious." I whisper to myself with a sigh, running my hand through my hair.

_'Well I sure as hell haven't risen from the grave like one of those stupid movies Kenzi watches.'_

I can't but smile at his words, he always bitched about them—so did I but every fourth Friday of the month we'd get together and make a night of it.

_'This why I am here, facilitate your little pity party?'_

"I—I don't know why you're here."

_'Bullshit.'_ he snorts leaning back against the dresser. '_This isn't the first time.'_

"Don't." I snap running my hands over my face. I'm going insane.

'_No you're not,' _ I look back up to him. _'I'm a figment of your imagination Lauren, of course I can hear your thoughts.'_

"You okay?" my attention snaps to Bo who walks in, hands buried in the towel she is drying her hair with.

"Yeah," I lie glancing back at the dresser but there is nothing there. "I just—bad dream I guess."

"That's understandable." she gives me this soft smile as she walks over to me. "I was trying to let you get a little more sleep, I hope you don't mind." she leans down giving me a quick kiss.

"No, thank you." I give her a smile and take a moment to collect my thoughts before pushing myself out of bed.

This is going to be a long day.

* * *

_**City Morgue-12:18 p.m.**_

_'You have work to be doing.' _I look up to his voice from my cellphone, a picture of him, Kenzi and Sarah on the screen. _'Don't look at me like that, this is your dog and pony show.'_

"I don't want you here, I'm perfectly fine without you." I swallow back a lump in my throat as I toss my phone down on my desk.

_'No, you're distracted and you're missing things.'_

"I'm not missing anything and I'm fine."

_'Yes you are and no you're not or I wouldn't be here, you know that.' _his hands grip the top of the guest chair to my right as he leans over, eyes peering into mine. _'Would you prefer if I were her?'_

"Don't do that, don't go there with me. I hate when you go there."

_'I'm not anything Lauren, I'm not real.' _I rub my brow with my right hand, a massive migraine beginning to set in. _'You're letting yourself get distracted and you need to get your shit together.'_

"You sound like her."

_'She was my sister.' _

"Yeah, I remember."

_'Lauren, you're giving me too much personality-you do that and my reason for being here is pointless.'_

I lean back in my chair trying to ignore the pain in my head, the pain welling in my chest at the image of him—the sound of his voice-his choice of words.

He isn't real Lauren.

"Why are you here?" I whisper it to myself more than _'him'. _

_'Your worlds are colliding again, you don't know how to deal with it. Don't blame you after the last time that happened.' _I glare up at him, the fact he is a figment of my imagination being lost on me at the moment. _'Let it go, yeah when this sadistic little song ends you and Bo will be left standing there to see where all the chips fall but right now you need her.'_

"It's not a game." I snap.

_'Everything is a game Lauren, you're forgetting that.'_

"I'm not playing anything with Bo, not anymore."

_'I'm not talking about her anymore, Get your head back in the game.' _

"What?" I let out looking up at Tamsin who is looking right back down at me as if I'm insane—I don't blame her. "What?" I repeat looking around my office to find no one other than her standing off to my right.

"I said you need to get your head back in the game Doc," she tosses a folder down on my desk. "We need you."

* * *

_**Third Floor-Detective Unit-8:06 p.m.**_

Clayton Paul-White Male-Age 7 (Laval-WENS)

Alexander Thomas-White Male-Age 7 (Laval-SUN)

Arron Samuel-White Male-Age 9 (Montreal-WENS)

Rebecca Brennen-Hispanic Female-Age 4 (Montreal-SUN)

Luke Walker-White Male-Age 6 (Montreal-WENS)

Mary Ashford-White Female-Age 4 (Montreal-SUN)

.

.

"We can stare at these names all night it's not going to change anything." Tamsin says in her highly annoyed tone as she leans back in her chair.

I don't bother looking over at her though nor up at the board anymore instead I cover my face with my hands, this migraine felt as if it was literally pulling my brain apart millimeter by millimeter.

"Don't know why we're even worried, we have a super-duper CSIS agent here to save us." Dyson laughs and I would have turned around to glare but I don't have enough patients.

"Shit see what happened to the last one?" I hear a snicker from the back of the room, I'm sure it's Burke.

"Super agents my ass." another snicker from someone I don't care to recognize.

"Why don't yall shut the hell up." Hale snaps.

"Oh that's right, ain't you an honorary member of the family bro?" the unrecognizable voice continues to antagonize, I don't have the patients for this.

"I hope you all are this amused when you're standing over another child's body." Evony's voice silence everyone, even makes me look up as she leans against the ledge of the wall that separates this room and the hallway.

Wonder where she was.

"Burke, Redford, Rutherford, James get the hell out." she snaps and waves her hand. "You're off this task force." she doesn't so much a blink an eye at their bitching and protests as they leave the room, each one making sure to shoot me a dirty look on their way out. "Now that, that is out of the way." her eyebrow raises as she turns to me with this smirk and I can't help but to return it, oh this was going no where good. "I think before we move on, we and I'm speaking for everyone here, needs a little bit of truth."

"What do you want?" I snap but it's not so much irritation at her as the previous comments and the jackhammer in my head.

"Is RCMP coming to take over?"

"I don't know," it was the truth, I hadn't had time to contact them yet. "Look at this point in time I have two options, I can either call in tell them my cover has been blown explain the situation and try to convince them to leave me on, after all no one would want the bad press pulling me off this case would bring if the newspapers found out."

"Second option?" Evony asks.

"I don't tell anyone anything, they'll send another agent-and possibly the RCMP and the FBI."

"FBI?" Hale asks but I can't stand the thought of looking back at him.

"Turns out that there were two murders in the states with the same M.O. that they are interested in, but considering my—situation it was agreed that it was better for them to let us handle things."

I get off the desk I had been occupying, gently take the marker from Bo's hand and write the two names underneath the ones already there. I smile softly at her as I hand it back but she is sort of dazed, at first I thought it was because of Evony but she is working something, searching for something.

"Thanks for sharing." Dyson snickers.

"Will there be a problem here?" Evony snaps. That's the interesting thing, people could be bad hell I've met dozens of murders but when it came to kids it was a whole other ballpark, a no fly zone. Probally the only reason all of us have managed to tolerate each other this long.

"What are you doing? You look like a damn deer in headlights?" Evony snaps at Bo who continues to stare at the board but instead of answering she goes to the board and begins writing.

.

.

Clayton **Paul**-White Male-Age 7 (Laval-WENS)

Alexander **Thomas**-White Male-Age 7 (Laval-SUN)

**Arron Samuel**-White Male-Age 9 (Montreal-_WENS_)

**Rebecca **Brennen-Hispanic Female-Age 4 (Montreal-SUN)

**Luke** Walker-White Male-Age 6 (Montreal-_WENS_)

**Mary **Ashford-White Female-Age 4 (Montreal-SUN)

Andre **Cain**-African American-Age 6 (U.S-?)

Tyresse **Philip**-African American-Age 5 (U.S-?)

.

.

"It's religiously motivated." Bo chuckles taking a step back from the board.

"OR about seventy to eight percent of Canada is Christian and name their kids according." Dyson jumps in as he walks up beside me.

"You're going to tell me that every single one of them having a biblical name and are being killed on only Wednesdays an Sundays is a coincidence?" she snorts. "I can't believe I didn't see this."

"Whoa, whoa down boys and girls." Tamsin interjects. "Lets run this a bit. What churches still go to mass on both days?"

"Mostly Baptist." Bo says under her breath beginning to look tense.

"Okay so we got the who-sorta, we got the when, but why the choice of kill?" Tamsin continues her attempt at being helpful, surprisingly she isn't all that bad when she applies herself.

"They could be um" Bo seems to trip on her words as she goes back to staring at the board. "They could be a cleansing ritual."

"Excuse me?" Dyson snorts.

"They're like baptisms, some break offs of the church especially in country type of places they adopt some interesting methods. One of which is these baptism like rituals, it's only supposed to be done when you've sinned pretty bad but some people take it more serious than others."

"How do you know so much about this? Suddenly pick up a book?" Dyson lets out in another sort as he leans against Tamsin's desk.

"No, I've had them done to me." she admits, her tone harsh and I know her words are for him but I find her staring into my own eyes. "Only a couple times, they're pretty scary but I always came away uninjured. I knew some kids though that weren't so lucky, close calls. It' the belief that if you don't survive it that the sin wasn't able to be washed away."

"What kind of backwater shit hole did you come from again?" Tamsin asks staring up at Bo with this beyond baffled look.

"Lachlan," his name leave my mouth before I even finish my thought. "We're looking for someone who had this done to them, someone who doesn't have an in depth understanding of the custom. Someone whose masking his own sick desires with the religion of his parents."

"I'm sorry what?" Dyson looks at me with this scowl.

"Could it really be that simple?" Bo asks tilting her head to the side looking directly at me. "In Matthew it says that Judas hung himself, in the Acts of the Apostles it says something about his guts spilling out."

"When did you become a fountain of knowledge?" Dyson looks over at Bo.

"There is a lot of things you don't know about me."

"We've been looking for something completely wrong." I mumble as I begin to head passed Evony who asks me where I'm going. "I need to stop them from sending Lachlan's body home."

I rush down the hall to the elevator, luckily this was Montreal and by seven p.m. most officers were already sent home or were out patrolling.

"Lauren," I turn around to her call, my hand holding the door open. "Look I know you need to go and that this is far from the time for some stupid pity party shit but I need to know something."

"Wh-what?"

"I know you know things about me, things I don't even wanna know you know but did you," she trails off looking away from me.

"I promise you," I cup her cheek with my free hand causing her to tilt her face into my touch, glassy eyes meeting mine. "I knew nothing about that." I smile softly at her and lean in, gentle kiss to her lips that she doesn't completely respond to. "Go keep being brilliant, might solve this before I even get back."

I walk into the elevator expecting it to close but her hand keeps it from closing, this seems to be a tradition of ours.

"Stop by the club house when you're done, bring food and I'll bring the files." she smiles finally. "We're gonna get this asshole." a little chuckle as she backs away letting the doors close.

* * *

_**Station Underground Parking Lot-8:53 p.m.**_

Walking around the parking lot, the only thing that can be heard is the sound of my shoes against the ground. I have to cross my arms over my chest to fight the cold—stupid I know, it's not like doing that is going to overpower the fact that I'm not wearing a sweater, call it a reflex.

It's hard to believe everything that's happened these past few months, how much my life has changed. I had no idea what I was signing up for when I started this mission, and neither did—neither did Lachlan.

As I keep waking, I have to swallow the lump in my throat and fight away the tears that threaten to come out, but I fail. I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to overcome the fact that he's no longer with us.

He was my brother, the one who alongside Kenzi, helped me get over Cassidy's death. Even if she was his sister and I knew her death broke him, he never stopped acting strong, and I know he did it for me, just so I could fall apart and he could help build me back up.

He was always so brave, and he loved Sara so much, he was so happy with the news about the baby and now—now he's gone, he's gone and there's nothing I can do to bring him back to us.

I shake the thought from my head and wipe away the tears that are now falling freely along my cheeks. I need to focus, focus on the case. Now we have a new theory that could get us closer to this fucking killer—or killers if the other part of our theory proves to be true.

I can't help but smile at this—not about the killers of course, but that Bo came up with this theory. I have known from the beginning that she has great potential; she's just too scared to really show it because she fears she might be wrong. But I truly feel that this is going to guide us towards the right direction.

"Bo". Her name escapes my lips so naturally, like I've been saying her name my entire life, but the smile I had quickly fades away because I don't know if what we have could be real or not.

I see everything that is against us, I understand what Kenzi said, and she's right, we don't know if once the case is done and we don't have to work together anymore, if there is going to be something left there, or if it's just going to be a void of something that was never real.

But I love her. I know a lot about her. I know she has trust issues—of course my lying to her about who I was did not help with that. I know that she often blames herself for things she can't control or that are not her fault.

The thing is, all of these things I know them because I've been studying her even before we started working together. So even though I know her really well, I also don't know her at all. I don't know things that a person learns from spending time with someone, basic things, like what's her favorite color—well she wears a lot of black so that could be her favorite—wait, is black technically a color? Focus Lauren, that is not important right now, the case, focus on the case.

I am brought back from my thoughts when I reach my car. I take out my car keys and before I can unlock the door, I feel something on my neck. Being a doctor, I know all too well what's going on. It's a needle; someone just stuck a needle on my neck. I can't even turn around to see who it is before my eyes start to close.

"Shit". It's all I can say before I'm completely unconscious, feeling my body fall to the ground and two strong arms holding me. What the fuck is happening?


	8. Ghost

_**Chapter Eight: Ghost**_

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_**(Lauren's POV)**_

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_**Unknown-11:22 p.m.**_

(_I'm living like a silent movie-Shut your mouth and see straight through me-Finding that you're hiding in your money-I got a million ways of losing-But nothing in my life worth proving-Chasing, all my time is wasted_)

My mind begins drifting toward apparent consciousness, the realization that I shouldn't be going along to this song dawning on me. For a moment I'm not exactly sure why going along with the song scares me so much, but it does. With every passing lyric this violent pounding within my chest causing such a sharp pain that it's hard for me to breath.

Again my muddled mind begins repeating the faint words of the song, many people didn't know this about me but music was my solace, it was my hide away.

So why now does this feel wrong?

Abruptly it dawns on me, I'm not at home in bed. I'm not in Bo's bed. I'm not at my office desk. I'm not in Evony's bed. I'm not on my office couch nor apartment couch.

I know where I'm not, the question is where am I?

No longer drifting but rather racing toward consciousness I feel my body begin to shake. My ankles are bound together with something. It's not rope there isn't enough give nor the right amount of pressure as I struggle against it. It's thick so maybe tape, but no—it's thicker and stronger. Forcing my legs to still, I begin the same fruitless fight with my hands, wrists bound as my ankles are.

Taking a several deep breaths through my nose I try and slow my heart rate, I'm not sure where I am but wherever it is, it's small. My knees are nearly in my chest, bottoms of my feet firmly pressed against something, a wall maybe as is the top of my head.

A box? A container? A coffin? A storage compartment? A trunk?

Suddenly it occurs to me I haven't opened my eyes-no they are open.

I can't see a thing.

I don't feel pain or pressure against my face so that leaves me with two immediate options, one being that I am simply in a place so dark I just can't see or two that whatever material over my eyes is so soft that I'm just not feeling it. Those are my two best choices to go with because the rest are all very morbid and quite frighting to think about.

Calm down.

Awkwardly I begin trying to twist my upper body the best I can, I just need to have my back touch the floor or a wall-any hard surface. I need to feel if my service weapon is still there, it's a far fetched chance but I need to check.

After several attempts that hurt more than it's worth the lack of pressure of something pressing into the small of my back confirms what I already knew, it's gone.

Calm down.

This wasn't me, sure I hate dark and confined spaces but who doesn't? Life's distractions have begun to catch up with me and this is a prime example. Calm, cool and collected—that's what I need to be.

Calm.

Making sure to keep my breaths small and steady I force my body to fall completely still.

Cool.

I let my body relax into the area it's been given. The pain once radiating through sixty percent of my body beginning to slow.

Collected.

What I know is that I am bound with something other than tape or rope on my wrists and ankles. Most likely there is something over my eyes but my mouth isn't taped. About sixty percent of my body is in pain but from what I can tell it's from my positioning and struggle—I don't think any damage was intentionally done. I'm in a tight, dark space but I can hear music.

I'm in a trunk.

As if some higher power was metaphorically tapping me on the head saying _'good job sport, you figured it out',_ violently my body is jarred back and forth. We took a rather abrupt right turn, I'm still jerking but not as violently and beyond the music I can hear the faint sound of gravel underneath the tires-we're on a dirt road. If I had to guess I would say we're going about twenty miles an hour now, we've quickly slowed from when we took the turn. Whatever road we're on must prevent him from going any faster.

A soft voice in the back of my mind, a voice from another life-another me begins to tell me this would be the time to start praying.

The much louder, dominate voice, the one that's far more logical and cynical tells that one to fuck off and I can't help but coldly chuckle to myself. Here I am kidnapped by a sick, sadistic asshole and I'm approaching having an argument with none other than myself.

Classic Lauren.

I use every ounce of self control and will power to keep my mind clear. I don't want to think about Bo. I don't want to think about Kenzi. I don't want to think about Lachlan. I don't want to think about anyone or anything but being in this moment. I can't think about them. I can't afford the luxury of emotion at this moment. I simply can't worry about how Bo is going to feel when she is sitting there waiting for me and I don't show. I can't wonder how long it will take her to realize I am missing. I can't wonder how Kenzi will take the death of another sibling. I can't bare the thought that she will be completely alone again, that Hale may actually leave her because of this all. I can't think about Sarah having no one to rely on to bury my brother-and myself while taking care of a broken Kenzi. I can't think about all of those kids I am breaking my promise to and all of the ones that will die because I won't be able to stop it. I can't think of the effect this will have on an already fragile Bo. I can't think of how I'm letting Lachlan down.

The image of Bo comes to mind and I shake my head slightly as if that will wipe it away, wishful thinking I guess.

Rolling my eyes at myself I nearly miss the fact that we've pulled to a stop and the sound of one of the doors, presumably the driver's side has just slammed shut. I can hear the gravel beneath his weight cracking, five steps and there is nothing but silence. No music, no sounds of the car nor the sound of gravel being crushed either by tires or feet. Just silence and that is scarier than anything.

I hear the trunk pop open and I still can't see a thing but I know I am looking up at him, I'm not sure how but I just know that I am. The weirdest part is that I think he's looking right back at me.

"Come on." he says, his voice low and husky yet with a hint of silkiness to it.

He grabs both sides of my arms just beneath my shoulders and pulls me from the trunk near effortlessly, he has to be six foot at least and athletic to be able to lift me the way he does. He doesn't even make a huff, not even a shallower breath. I don't imagine him being built like a football player after all someone would have noticed a guy like that stalking around but he's strong.

Is he on something? Is he just in a constant state of mania hence the unexplained amount of strength? Or simply has he just done this so many times that he has built a tolerance to dead weight?

I feel the circulation returning to my legs that I hadn't even realized had fallen asleep, the pain near excruciating. But what I am really focused on is that his left hand keeps firm while the right leaves my arm. His chest presses against me as he reaches over and goes to shut the trunk.

My already racing heart begins to go a little faster and I swear the world stops.

Instinct, human nature, survival need-whichever you choose to call it, it kicked into over drive.

Without further thought I tilt my head back before slamming it where I would assume his would be. I get his jaw, I know because I can hear the sound of his teeth snap together. It's a hard enough blow to jolt me for a moment but it also knocks him back. Fists balled together I slam them against him, I was sure I would hit his groin but I'm not that lucky. I'm close though, lower stomach I would guess by the reaction.

I think he falls but I can't be sure.

I go to run but find myself falling right into the ground, the gravel cutting my forearms for sure.

"Fuck!" I cry out as I roll onto my back bringing my legs up, fingers pulling at the restraint around my ankles.

It takes a second but I realize what it is, it's heavy-duty Velcro strap of some kind. Smart. Trembling fingers desperately trying to pull the thick strip apart only grow further unsteady as I begin to hear footsteps. It's two and he's on me but I haven't freed myself.

Instinct once again taking over I kick out so hard I hear my own knee crack but it works, I've hit his lower stomach again. I hear two quick steps and a thud presumably as he hits the car. I know I should pull whatever this is off my eyes but I only have seconds, what does it matter if I can see if I can't run.

Pulling at the strap again I hear it begin to loosen, I know I don't have enough time to get it off, not fully and my luck is bound to run out soon if it hasn't already. Using every ounce of strength I have left I pull the strap up while pushing my right leg down hoping against hope that I can manage to pull my left ankle through the tiny bit of space I've managed. My shoe falling off as I manage to get my foot out slightly, my heel now stuck.

The pain is near unbearable, the fear is even worse as I hear him approaching.

I let go of the strap and kick out again but hit nothing-he's beside me.

It's too late.

* * *

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_**Bo's POV**_

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_**Tuesday**_

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_**The Club House—12:36 a.m.**_

"Can you say stupid?" I snicker to myself as I shake my head, right hand rubbing the back of my neck.

I continue flipping through the pages of the file in front of me though my eyes are on the alarm clock next to my bed. I just want to know how I can keep falling for this, how?

Reaching over I grab my phone and big surprise no new messages or calls. I've left her several, okay I'm playing it cool, I've left her seven messages-to be lying, I've left her twelve texts and three calls.

I have to keep reminding myself she isn't my girlfriend, I know this. She is my-I'm not sure what exactly she is but I know she isn't that. I won't lie despite everything there is a part of me that wants that still but then things like this happen and all I can think about is here is another lie.

I want to believe she has just been caught up but then I keep remembering everything she has lied about.

"Fuck it." huffing to myself I kick off the bed and stomp over to the door where my shoes are.

What exactly am I doing?

Who the hell knows anymore.

Stomping down the stairs and through the darkness of my apartment I know I look like a child but then again whose actually seeing me?

I grab my keys and gun off the little covey in the wall before heading out not even bothering to lock the door, I want to say it's just because I am so badass that I don't think anyone would dare break into my shithole but honestly I'm just to distracted to even realize it until I'm halfway down the stairs.

I mean really what was I going to say if I found her at home just chillaxing and blowing me off?

I'm being crazy, I can tell but I need to know. I need to know if I can trust her or at least make an attempt at trusting her again.

Pulling the car door open I find myself freeze, this odd feeling coming over me. Casually I look to my left down the alley and then to the right. Shitty lighting makes it near pointless really especially on top of all the dumpsters and doorways someone could within.

Taking another breath I give one last quick glance around before getting into my car and quickly pulling off. If someone really was there watching me, following me then they'd have to tail me and that would be easy to catch at this time of night.

I wonder when all this is said and done if this will remain her apartment or will she move again. I wonder, does she really enjoy this line of work. I wonder what it is she gets out of this because honestly I don't see the upside of it. To be so emotionally closed off, so shut down. I mean I am, in a sense but it's not by choice, not really.

I pull up into the no parking zone but really, what are they gonna give ME a ticket?

Snorting at the idea I go to pull out my phone but it's not there, tapping the other pocket to find nothing. Sighing to myself and at my apparently infinite stupidity I get out and head into the building and straight for the stairs.

I really hope Kenzi isn't here, I can't deal with that right now.

Making it halfway up the first flight of stairs I find my legs lock, attention snapping to behind myself. Dim lights and carpeted stairs but nothing else-so why do I feel like I'm being watched. I can't explain it, I really can't but this time is worse than the last. I didn't see anyone tailing me, I made sure to keep an eye out.

Could it be her little CSIS friends? They could watch both places and not have to tail me.

Shaking off the thought I begin heading towards her apartment again, the feeling is still there but I'm not going to keep looking. This could be her CSIS friends or this could just be a tired mind playing tricks on itself, it wouldn't be the first time.

I knock on the door and wait but nothing. I knock again a little harder and then again but there is nothing at all, not a peep. Kenzi could be with Hale hashing shit out but if Lauren isn't here hiding from me then where the hell could she be?

I start to walk away but this annoying voice in the back of my head says try again, so I turn back intending to knock but instead I find my hand on the doorknob.

"Not smart," I chuckle to myself as I push the door open.

Slowly I walk in but it's empty, doesn't look like anyone has been here in at least a day. It's all too neat and perfect, sort of like when you clean before taking a vacation, only thing was if they were going to pull her-them, then this place would have been empty by now.

I leave the door open as I walk in further, another glance around waiting to spot something out of the ordinary but there's nothing. I know Kenzi so Lauren must be cleaning this place top to bottom ten times a day. Against my better judgment I jog up the stairs and glance around, every door just slightly open but no one here. It's unusual how perfect this place is, near staged really.

Cautiously I push her bedroom door open to find more of the same.

_'She's a cop,' _I think to myself with a nod while ignoring the twinge of pain in the back of my heart.

Going to the nightstand I pull the drawer open but it's nothing important, another pair of glasses, a pen, phone charger. Pushing the draw shut I reach under feeling around, takes but a second and I'm pulling out her badge and her ankle piece.

If she did run or was even pulled there's not a chance in hell these would still be here, better question is was she wearing her service weapon tonight? I can't remember for the life of me if she was.

Am I being paranoid? Am I being crazy? What does this really prove?

I toss the two things on the bed and take a single step back readying to turn to leave, head back to the club house and hell if she wasn't there then I don't know but I have a case to work. Sadly though like most of this night it doesn't happen that way. A tiny thud so quiet that had a car been passing by outside I wouldn't have heard it, hell if I was breathing any heavier I wouldn't have heard it.

Taking a step to my right I kneel down, left hand on the mattress as I pull this six inch by six inch box out. It has a lock, one of those spinning numbers type deal on the front but this has been popped open.

I flip it open and can't help but raise an eyebrow, it's a bunch of b.s. Nothing you'd want to break into something for. Some old folded pieces of paper, hand written notes. A rubber banded wad of photos, the first being a woman I don't recognize, maybe her foster mother. I can't help but chuckle as I pull out an old rosary from underneath it all, guess she isn't as over that part of her life as she said.

Big surprise, another lie.

I go to drop it back into the box but something catches my eye, a single picture by itself. She doesn't seem the type to leave things out of place which makes this curious. Turning the box over letting the shit fall onto the mattress I pick up the picture. An older one obviously, it's one of those perfect pictures that make you want to roll your eyes, just everything looks so damn perfect and staged but it's not. Some woman and Lachlan hugging to my right, Lauren and Caissdy hugging to my left with a much younger Kenzi in the middle of the two pairs.

I just stare at the photo for a moment, a mixture of emotions.

The most dominate one is this sense of bother, at first I think it's because I see how happy she looks with Cassidy but it's not that. It's-I don't know.

Placing the photo down I push myself up and start back out, down the hall and then the stairs, that ire feeling rushing back to me. Someone was here I know it, I don't know how but I do. I look around and again there is nothing but I know this time I'm not crazy.

I pick the hand-held up from the side table.

_**(Lauren, where have you been I've been trying to get a hold of you. Wait, why the hell are you calling Hale's cell?)**_

"Kenzi, it's Bo. Look I can't explain but give me to Hale."

_**(Hello?)**_

"Hale, look I need you to do me a favor and do it without asking any questions."

_**(We really haven't made up to the point of asking me favors-)**_

"Hale." I snap. "Listen to me carefully and try to remain as emotionless as possible. I think something is wrong, Lauren never turned up tonight and now I'm here and-shits off."

_**(How off?)**_

"Off like I'm heading in to talk to Evony."

_**(That really is off.)**_

"Yeah."

_**(Alright, what do you need?)**_

"I need you to go to Lachlan's hotel."

_**(Oh yeah no problem, just one thing. How the hell you think I'ma get passed the CSIS that are circling?)**_

"Something tells me they won't be there. Just listen, get there ASAP and search for something for me. Most likely a small box. I think I'm getting a feel for this family and something tells me they do shit in pairs, so it'll be like six by six, some type of lock that you won't need to worry about."

_**(This makes no sense but alright.)**_

"I don't care what's inside except for a rosary or a cross maybe, just something religious and a picture that you'll know when you see it."

_**(What?) **_He snorts almost laughing at me.

"Look, we thought that maybe Lachlan had a lead, that he was checking something out and that's what happened right? What if that isn't what happened, what if this guy isn't just stalking kids, what if he was stalking us too?"

_**(But why Lachlan?)**_

"Convenience. The rest of us all live with someone, or in buildings with security, places where people know who should and shouldn't be there. If this guy is a religious freak like we're thinking then finding that-"

**(Would set him off. What am I supposed to do with Kenz, hm? One whiff of this and I'm sure she'll be calling in the feds.)**

"I doubt it, this is her sister. They'd order her to stand down, wait till they'd get here. Take her with you, she might be able to help you find it sooner."

**(Can't I just ask her if he has something like that?)**

"It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't, in order for this theory to be right, it needs to have been seen by this asshole." I pause taking two steps to my right at the sound of steps. "Hurry, I'm heading to the station. I don't have my cell so call there when you get what we need." I rush my words as I toss the phone on the couch without looking.

Swallowing at the dryness in my throat I cautiously walk back up to the open door and surprise there's nothing there yet again but something is off about all of this, everything is off.

Reaching behind myself I pull the door shut again, I don't bother seeing if I can lock it. For what? There's a seventy-five percent chance someone was already in there and that's low-balling it, if this guy did break into the apartment he already got what he wanted and if he did take Lauren then he wasn't going to be coming back here anytime soon.

I jog down the stairs, I suppose I should have been cautious for my own safety or hope of possibly catching my unseen stalker but for what? If this guy wanted me he was going to jump out at me no matter how cautious I am being and if I am just being paranoid I waste valuable time.

I don't even bother to check the street as I make my exit and slide into my car.

Six blocks down and I realize I haven't checked my mirrors once, snorting at myself I take a quick glance before I make a soft right turn. I don't know why I didn't, honestly I hadn't even realized I made it six blocks already.

My mind isn't here, it's somewhere else.

On her.

Is she okay? Is this another game? Another lie to add to the never ending web? Is she injured? What is real and what is a lie? Who is the real her? What really happened with Cassidy and Cane? Is she even still alive?

I shake the thoughts off as I near the station, I can't think about that now. Honestly I don't even know if she is taken, this all could just be me grasping at straws to make my B and E slash obsessive jealousy reasonable.

Driving through the parking lot and down into the underground area I make another attempt at shaking the thoughts but like most things I attempt in life, I fail. I don't want to admit it but I'm terrified. There is just something inside of me that knows something is very wrong.

I may not be the smartest or the wisest or the best at anything really but I know what I saw when I looked into her eyes last night before she left, it was genuine.

Pulling into a parking spot rather far from the door considering I had been so entangled in my thoughts I had driven right passed. For the best I suppose, a little walk will give me time to gather my thoughts on just how exactly I was going to present this to Evony.

"Hey." A pair of patrol officers say as they walk passed me and I just give a nod.

Not a clue who they are but that whole family in blue is a real thing, so simple and polite acts like that are expected. After all they are expected to put their life on the line for me in a moments notice and I for them so a simple 'hey' or head nod isn't too much to ask for in my book.

This time it's me who initiates the pleasantries as I nod at another uniformed officer walking by. I know he says something and I would have looked back to answer him, in fact I think I even started to except my eyes catch the tail end of Lauren's car grabbing my full attention.

I stop and just stare at it for a moment, was it really her's?

Walking up to the driver's side window I peek in, it's unlocked considering that stupid, little red alarm light isn't blinking in the corner of the windshield. Grabbing a hold of the handle I hesitate for a moment, it's only a moment though. Leaning in right knee on the seat as I grab a hold of the steering wheel with my left hand for balance I pop open the glove box, my heart sinking.

Her service weapon is here, her cover is already blown so why she wouldn't carry it would make no sense to me. Hell the fact her car is unlocked makes no sense to me. Shuffling the shit around inside I feel her phone, I'm almost positive she had this on her in the station-her gun I couldn't remember but her phone I would bet a month's salary on. Taking the phone and shoving it in my pocket before shutting the compartment and moving back until I'm just standing beside the car.

Her weapon and phone are in the glove box and the car is unlocked but no sign of her or the keys.

Theory one, she got in the car tossed her phone and possibly weapon in the glove and then got snatched in which the guy took the keys because someone would most likely notice keys in the ignition. Only problem is how did he get her out of the car considering her stupid car locks the second the car is turned on.

Theory two, he got her before making it to the car and he intentionally placed the items back in the car but why? What would that do?

Shaking my head to myself as I take another step back while pushing the door shut.

"Shit!" I can't help but yell as I stumble a step back and hit the car.

"Jumpy?" Dyson just smirks down at me, smug bastard couldn't be more amused.

"The hell are you sneaking up on me for?" I stand back up straight trying not to act embarrassed by my reaction and the fact that I got snuck up on. Sure it's just Dyson but it could have been anyone, hell if Evony had done that I'm almost sure it would have been my badge. First the alley incident and then allowing myself to get snuck up on? Very least would have gotten another writeup.

"Just testing those newly sharpened intuitive skills," he wiggles his eyebrows and just keeps smirking at me like a Cheshire cat. "Hate to break it to you Bo," he brushes a strand of hair from my face as he leans down just a bit almost as if he's going to kiss me, I know the move well. "Still needs a little work."

"Either try and kiss me so I can kick you in the nuts giving you a quick lesson in no means no or back up." I don't mean to sound as cold as I do, I wasn't trying to be playful either but I just wasn't trying to be a complete bitch though apparently my tone had other intention.

"Yes ma'am." he raises his hands dramatically with a laugh as he backs away and rather than coming up with a remark I walk by him, around the car and start back toward the station. "She okay with you going through her car?"

"Believe me I think she'll appreciate it this time."

"I don't know about that, Feds are kinda irrational about their privacy."

"Yeah well," I pause as he pulls the door open for me, I find myself looking at him just really looking at him. "Have you been out?"

"What?" he chuckles.

"Yeah, have you been out hitting the streets?" he shakes his head, eyes narrowing slightly. "Then what are you doing in the parking lot?"

"I'm stalking you." he says flatly, this slight raise in his left eyebrow, his tone so flat I can feel my eyes widen in surprise.

"What?"

"Bo, I'm fucking with you." he snorts out, shaking his head while letting out a slight laugh. "My wallet was in my car, I was going to order some food from Wong's. Food's shit but the only place open at this hour." he smiles at me, this softened sort of saddened look that I took him serious at first.

"It really is." I smile and shake off the thought of-well I don't really know what I was thinking.

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_**Lauren's POV**_

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_**Unknown—2:24 a.m.**_

Despite the heaviness, despite the pain I force my eyelids open to half mass. Unlike last time I'm a lot clearer about my situation, my location on the other hand is another story entirely. It's not pitch black anymore nor do I have something covering my eyes, there is this faint light that takes my eyes only seconds to grow accustomed to. On instinct I start to situp but find myself falling right back down with a thud, my forehead hitting something rather hard.

"Smart." I snort to myself.

I wiggle my feet in which I end up tapping something equally as smooth as it is hard. Next I wiggle my fingers and apart from hitting my thighs I earn the same tapping, I think it's wood. Forcing my eyes to focus I realize the light is seeping in through cracks in the cover of this box-coffin.

I feel my heart jump from zero to a hundred, my palms moistening and suddenly I'm all too aware of everything. For example the weird, dried substance covering the right side of my face that makes it painful to make an expression, I assume it's blood. He must have broken skin when he knocked me out. Another thing I can tell now or rather feel is a gash across my right forearm, I think it might be fractured too. I close my eyes wiggling my fingers again, a hazy flash of my arm being smashed with the trunk door as I reach out from something—maybe I'm not reaching out. I can't be sure, it's so hazy as it plays back in my mind like a flash.

Suddenly I hear a voice in the distance, I think it's his. He's talking to someone, I know I should be trying to listen, trying to gain information of some kind but all I can think about is that I'm trapped. Trapped in a coffin. I'm in a fucking coffin and I my not be underground yet but people don't put you in one of these without that intent. I know what will happen next. He's gonna bury me alive.

I feel my body begin to push against the walls before I had made up my mind. There isn't enough room for me to try and kick the bottom out and with only the use of one good arm I can't get the top off, even with two good arms I doubt I would anyway, he's probably nailed it shut.

This can't be how I die.

I can't die in some box buried somewhere no one will ever find me. I can't die a slow and painful death knowing every single symptom that comes up, knowing exactly what to expect next.

I force myself to be still, to just lay here. I know I'm bleeding from at least two places, panicking and increasing my heart-rate will only cause me to bleed out faster. Maybe he is only holding me here, maybe he needs to keep me immobilized until Wednesday—what day is it?

_'I'm in a coffin-I'm in a coffin-Don't panic Lauren-Calm down,' _

The same four short sentiences playing on a loop in my mind for God knows how long. It must have been a while though since his very heated conversation has fizzled out. I wait to hear footsteps, I wait to hear anything other than the howling of the wind and my own rasp breathing but there is nothing.

I'm alone.

* * *

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**Station-Third Floor-Homicide Unit—2:37 a.m.**_

"Lauren's job is lying, her life is all about lies. People like her lie like we breathe, press Kenzi and I'm sure you'll turn up with something."

"Hale's with her, she would have said something by now."

"Kenzi, the girl who is aiming to follow in her sister's footsteps would roll over without so much as a direct question?"

"Evony this isn't about our history right now. It's not even about your and her history. I am telling you something happened." I run my hand through my hair trying to get it out of my face as I glare down at her.

She didn't have a reputation for being fair but she did have one for being smart and saving her own ass. Letting a CSIS agent die in her territory when she could have done something would without a doubt end her prize career and none of her connections nor my grandfather's would be able to help her there.

"Evony, please listen to me." I say softly, eyes locked with hers. "Something is wrong."

"It hasn't even been twelve hours nor is there any proof other than a theory from someone who up until last week couldn't piece together a decent one of her own if her life depended on it."

"Okay." I nod and moisten my lips with the tip of my tongue. Guess bitch mode it is then. "Not a problem." I nod again as I walk toward the door.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Just like that?" she sorts through this cocky smirk that makes me want to jump across her desk and slap it off.

"Yeah just like that." another nod as I pull the door open half way before turning to look at her. "It won't be my job on the chopping block Evony. I'm going to go to my desk and fill out a report that I informed you of my suspicion and then I'm going to fax it to Lauren's office and wait. They probably won't get it until morning and won't get here till afternoon, won't be until early evening that they are caught up and able to even start looking. By that time who knows what could happen." I give a little shrug. "Just think of the headlines, not only did you let a CSIS agent die when you could have prevented it but most likely the guy who did it is the same Montreal Boogyman, so by proxy you also let him get away too."

I don't bother waiting for a response, instead I walk out shutting her door behind me and walk back to my desk. She might think I am bluffing but I'm not. I don't know anything else I can do to help Lauren on my own so if I have to throw myself along with Evony under the bus to save her then so be it.

Sitting down I pull a pen and a paper from my desk and start to write but I stop short, 'Dear CSIS' being as far as I get.

It's not just me and Evony I would be throwing under the bus by doing this, by willingly asking them to come here.

I look up glancing at Hale's empty desk and then over at Dyson's, he's run off somewhere again. Tamsin's at her desk, typing on her computer completely oblivious to anything happening. I feel this sick spiral in my stomach, was I really willing to throw everyone down for her?

I glace up and catch a smirking Evony standing in her doorway, just watching me.

I guess I am.

I smirk myself with a nod and begin to read aloud as I write.

_'Dear CSIS,_

_My name is Bo Dennis a name you apparently know well, I work directly under Evony Morgan another name I know you are familiar with. As of mid-night I had become suspicious something may have happened to your agent Lauren Lewis. Under further inspection I am sure of this. At approximately two-thirty a.m. I informed my boss and have pleaded with her for a further investigation, she refuses to do so. '_

"Should I continue?" I raise an eyebrow as I look back up to her, that smirk wiped clean off of her face.

"Be careful who you play with little girl."

_' I feel if there is any hope in order to save your agent I must surpass my chain of command. Due to the fact that your agent is here investigation us I feel it has weighed heavily on my boss' decision to act as _

_Sincerely,_

_Detective Bo Dennis. ' _

"What's going on?" I hear Hale's voice accompanied by his footsteps but my eyes stay locked with Evony's.

"Who gives a shit." Kenzi barks walking passed him and to my desk. "This is the picture you wanted?" she slams it down on my desk and reluctantly I have no choice but to look down at it.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"There wasn't anything religious in the box though." Hale says as he leans against the corner of Tamsin's desk.

"There should have been, a green rosary which is pretty old, it's identical to one of the ones you found in Lauren's room when you were snooping." Kenzi says, her words trailing as she stares down at the picture-or maybe she is reading my note.

"I wasn't snooping I found it by accident. You should be happy I did otherwise," I pause as I push my seat out a little. "There is only one rosary in the box."

"You must not know how to count then because there is two. The green one is Cassidy's and then she has her own, a crystal one that matches my own. They were a gift from someone, no matter how Lauren feels she wouldn't throw it out."

"The son of a bitch is taking trophies." Evony snorts as she walks over to us, reaching onto my desk she grabs my paper and crumples it up all the while holding my gaze. "We checked the rooms if anything was missing we never checked the personal effects from the bodies."

"Only like two of the victims had personal effects, a stuffed animal and a," Tamsin trails off as she looks down at her desk.

"They all have religious names and were targeted by a religious freak, I'd bet you my year's salary they all were wearing something religious. Necklace, cross, rosary, bracelet, anything." Evony finally looks away from me. "Tamsin grab Dyson and two other patrol cars, I want you at every house of the parents of these kids finding out if they wore something."

"Yeah sure, but it's like three in the morning." she says as she stands and pulls her jacket from behind her chair.

"Their kids were murdered and this fuck is continuing to pick off children at random, something tells me they'll be okay with an early wake-up call if it helps us catch him."

"Sure, sure but exactly how does this help us?"

"Religious killers are one type of beast, trophy killers are another. You combined the two and we have a whole other type, a type that can narrow down the list from say thirty percent to maybe ten." I say standing up myself.

"What exactly are we doing about my sister though?" Kenzi cuts in.

"You aren't an agent yet, let us handle this." Evony sort of snaps before she heads back to her office, I know she is calling to inform our bosses and Trick of these new developments, of my lack of loyalty.

"If you think for one second I am about to sit back and wait for the incompetent Brady Bunch to handle my sister's abduction you've been sniffing a little too much of that so called misplaced evidence."

"I was just going to say for you and Hale to go back to the hospital, find out if there is anything about Lachlan's body that can help. We know where found him and yeah it looked like he got killed there but check for something else, anything else."

"Like what?" Hale asks as he stands back up.

"Anything. I have to go back to my apartment."

"Feeling a little sleepy? Need a nappy in the middle of trying to save my sister's life?"

"No." I say flatly, reminding myself that this girl is just scared. "The files are there, I'm going to run through them again quickly to look for something that might have been missed while everyone else does their jobs. Hopefully we'll come up with something."

"And if not?"

Well that was the million dollar question wasn't it?

I don't know.

* * *

_**The Club House—3:19 a.m.**_

I roll my shoulders for the fifth or sixth time as I stomp up the stairs, I haven't felt that-presence I guess you could say but there is this weight that hasn't stopped following me. Worry? Sadness? Pain? Hurt? Something I haven't yet come to terms with?

I keep thinking about what Trick is going to say when I talk to him. I know by now Evony has told him that I was willing to sacrifice myself, sacrifice everyone to save Lauren. I could spin a million and one lies to try and get myself out of the trouble it's bound to cause but what's the point now? I made my decision and there is no going back, this is life and some decisions can't be undone.

Another thing I can't stop thinking about is Lachlan. His body just hanging there on display with his insides on the out. I can't help but wonder if that's what he has in store for her. I can't help but wonder what all the training of her's is gonna do now, Lachlan was tall and fit, if he didn't stand a chance then little, tiny Lauren has close to none.

I swallow back the sickness rising in my throat as I turn the doorknob and walk into my apartment. Why I found myself back here I wasn't sure, what I was sure of was that I had combed those files a million times and doing it one more time wasn't going to bring me any closer to an answer on who this guy is or where Lauren is. But it beat sitting at my desk waiting for reports while getting stared down by Evony.

Dyson and Tamsin were on the connecting the trophy-dots. Patrol was on city watch. Hale and Kenzi were off searching for something useful from Lachlan's body. I couldn't do nothing.

I can't help but sigh as I look down at the files spread over my bed. Hundreds of pages of information that are near useless. Tens of thousands of words that only manage to push us inches forward in locating this sick bastard. The sad truth was that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time with every kill we should grow closer to catching him but this time we just seem to be going in circles, every once and a while the circle seems to narrow but it's always a constant loop.

Running my hand through my hair for the umpteenth time I turn my back to the bed and let myself nearly fall to the floor. I didn't want the comfort of my bed, it would give me the false sense that everything was okay, that it was okay to relax and it's not.

Rubbing my eyes roughly I keep them closed and try to ignore the feeling of tears. I had been so wrapped up in trying to convince myself and then others that she was missing I didn't stop to think about it, not really. Didn't stop to really think about everything that could be being done to her. Didn't stop to think about the horrors she was most likely going through. Didn't stop to think she could be dead already.

Don't think about that.

Think about finding her.

* * *

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Unknown-6:45 a.m.**_

A cold draft accompanied by the faint sound of birds pulls me toward a dreaded consciousness I had hopped was a sick nightmare.

I try to stretch my stiff muscles the best I can but it does little to nothing, though I do get my neck to crack. The pain in my forearm still there but it's not as bad as it was the last time I was awake-whenever that was.

I want to say it's morning but I can't be sure. The light seems to be a little sharper now and the birds are new, perhaps it's five or six in the morning. I'm sure Bo has had to notice I've gone missing-hopefully.

I tap my feet against the bottom board trying to regain full feeling but all it does is remind me that I am going to need to pee soon. The thought of just doing it now crosses my mind for the second time but I'm not there yet.

The sound of my stomach rumbling distracts me, one ailment to the next.

I wonder if screaming would do anything other than grab his attention, after all this guy was psychotic not stupid, he couldn't be to pull off everything he has. He wouldn't keep me anywhere where someone would simply stumble upon me.

I can't help as my mind wanders back onto the elephant in the tiny, coffin-is he going to bury me? Why would he? He drowned children and he gutted my brother, why bury me alive? Why take me at all, it was Bo who was really making progress not me—not that I would want her to be here instead of myself but—-maybe I would actually. It's a horrible thought but I have greater faith in my own investigative abilities than hers.

_'Lauren,'_

I think disapprovingly to myself.

I didn't want to think like that, I didn't want to but all I can seem to do now is run through every unsolved case file that squad has. Run through every mistake she has made since I've met her.

'_Lauren, she's going to find you,'_

That same stern, disapproving tone in the back of my head says.

I want to believe that. I want to believe that everything I've seen from her lately is enough to pull her through this. I want to believe that the amount of potential I believe I've seen is really there and any minute she is going to come storming in and save me.

But all I can think about now is how much blood I've lost, how much pain I'm in and how cramped I am. All I can think about is the fact that I am in a coffin awaiting a killer to return. All I can think about is the three possibilities I have of dying.

Drowning. Gutting. Buried alive.

* * *

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**Thomson Street—1:17 p.m.**_

"I'm sorry, we got nothing."

I hear his raspy voice say for the fifth time to me today but I keep my forehead pressed against the top of my car, arms draped over it as well. I just couldn't bring myself to look up and watch the tactical team coming out of another dead-end house with their heads hanging as if they had been the ones letting me down.

This house like the four before it were dead-ends, two drug users and one pornographic promoter arrested but no Lauren. The six houses Dyson and Tamsin oversaw and the nine Hale and unofficially Kenzi oversaw all turning up with similar results. An order from those above Evony's head to check out the fifty people who wrote Cane the most in near by areas. Evony may have been pissed at me for my so called lack of loyalty to her, to them but with every passing hour her desire to find Lauren grew. Whether it was out of self preservation, a desire to earn some brownie points or some odd sense of responsibility to her I didn't know but honestly I didn't care. Whatever it was it made her call in favors to grab extra tactical officers for this. With any luck we'd be done by three thirty.

What we'd do then I had no clue but hopefully it would be more productive than this.

Groaning I reach into my pocket as I feel my phone begin to go off.

"Yeah?"

_**(House ten down, we got nothing. Correction we got a shit load of sick pricks but as far as anyone capable or credible of taking old girl? Naw.)**_

"Did you really think we would Hale? I mean seriously, this is just more hoops to jump through."

_**(Look,)**_

"What?" I ask when he falls silent for a good ten seconds.

_**(There's some rambling that Evony is going to expand this search, add another twenty or some bullshit number of houses for us to hit. I know a guy, we're cool.)**_

"Okay?"

_**(Say the word and Kenzi will cover these guys and I'll come take your place.)**_

"Thanks, but until I can come up with another plan-I may as well stay on the perv patrol. Beats sitting at the desk waiting."

_**(Just say the word.)**_

"I will. Oh and Hale, thank you."

_**(Anytime.)**_

* * *

_**Durham Road—3:58 p.m.**_

Almost twenty-four hours.

I run my hands over my face as I press the back of my head against the headrest. This was the fifth house in a row I hadn't even bothered to get out of the car for. There was no point, there was no point to any of this.

Dyson was right as he often is, I wasn't cut out for this.

"Holy shit!" I let out as I jump at the sound of my passenger side door opening and closing in matter of three seconds, if that. "What the hell?" my tone still a little higher than normal as I stare at Evony.

"You shouldn't be here."

"I could say the same to you." I snort and shake my head while looking back out onto the street, I was sure I hadn't been crying but now with her here I can't be sure. I want to wipe my face again to be sure but if I had I didn't want to draw anymore attention.

"They don't want her found." her words as cold as the thought of them being true.

"But you do?" the question soaked in so much skepticism I don't think I could have added any more if I tried.

"Do you know the term self-preservation?" she turns to look at me with this dead look but I can't help but to notice the extra layer of makeup she has skillfully applied around her eyes. Do I dare say she's been crying?

But why? For Lauren? For what her bosses are going to make her do? For the fact of realizing that saving Lauren ends her career and most likely her freedom as well? For the realization that this may be another body added to the already asinine total because she didn't bother to train her department properly?

"Lauren, Lachlan, Kenzi it doesn't matter the name they all come from the same place and believe me Bo that place has a never ending supply of people to send for us. Lauren dies this week and next week we have another two or five or ten standing at our door."

"So what you're saying is her life is basically a fucking insurance policy to you?" I can't help the cold chuckle that accompanies my snort.

"Yes!" she yells loud enough to grab a passing officer's attention. "It's time you grew the fuck up Bo, this story doesn't have a happy ending. There isn't a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. When this ends you two aren't running off to buy a house and get a dog and pop out some kids."

"You don't think I know that?"

"No, I don't. You aren't trying to find a fellow officer or a friend or a victim, you are trying to find a lover. I can't tell you what to do and hell I don't really give a shit if when all this is said and done you're standing there with your heart in your hand but a friendly word of advice start thinking about her as an insurance policy, as a get out of jail free card."

"With all due respect Evony." I tilt my head back to the side to face her. "Get the fuck out of my car."

* * *

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Unknown—6:13 p.m.**_

My eyes open to blackness and for a moment I panic, body jerking and I know I should have been unable to move considering the six hard walls that have kept me immobile for God knows how long but this time I find myself falling over onto my side.

"Don't struggle." I hear his voice, this low and rasp near whisper and I can't help but to think of batman. "Try anything and you'll find yourself back in the coffin." I'm not sure why he needs to say this until moments later I hear footsteps approaching, wood creaking underneath his weight. Then his hands are grabbing the sides of my arms again and pulling me back up to a sitting position, the back of my head hitting a beam of some kind. "Hm." he sort of snorts as he backs away. "Whores always follow direction."

I don't say anything to that, after all what am I supposed to say? I'm not a whore? Don't call me that? What good would it do at this point? Besides it's not like I'm really in a position to argue with him.

He just stands there watching me like an animal ready to slaughter. I can't see him but I KNOW he hasn't moved and I KNOW he is looking right at me, it may sound crazy but I swear he's looking into my eyes.

"Do you know how they used to kill your kind?"

"Stoning." the word passes my lips in dry whisper. "Is that what you're going to do? Stone me?" I don't know why I'm speaking, that little voice in the back of my mind telling me to shut up but that other one has just said fuck it.

"Whores deserve their fate."

"Yeah well," I can't help but chuckle and let my head hang a bit. "He who is without sin shall cast the first stone, right?"

"Shut your mouth."

"Sorry, just find it sort of ironic that a child killer is judging me."

"Shut. Your. Mouth. You do not speak his words whore!"

"That's actually a butchering of the quote-I can recite the actual line if you would like." I hear his steps though this time instead of four there is only two and they're heavier. My mind going to ponder the question of why only to be detoured by the sting across my face as I fall back onto my left side. "So, I'll take that as a no?" a small chuckle as I cough out a mouthful of blood.

"Lies, blasphemy and sin are all that come from your kind."

"Well you got the first and third right."

"Hold your tongue." he snaps grabbing my jaw and pulling me back to a seated position. "Or I will cut it from you mouth."

For once I heed the warning from the passively soft voice who I've until now kept a deaf ear to. He releases his hold and just stands there with poise near a statuesque giant. Several heavy breaths passing before I hear the growing familiar creak of the wood as he puts a much appreciated amount of distance between us but it's not far, never far.

I believe in the Devil and I believe in evil, I've seen it. I've dealt with hundreds, probably thousands of people but only a handful would I ever classify as truly evil. You could look at any garden variety killer and say that he's evil but I just see someone whose pathetic, stupid, weak, sick, disgusting or any and all of the above but truly evil I had seen four times in my life, two of which related to Cane but now I think, no I believe I can add him to the list.

It wasn't just that he was killing children though that did put him on the fast track to the classification. It wasn't that he was terrorizing an entire city, actually more than one. It wasn't that he had killed my brother and had taken me captive.

It was the feeling that I got near him. It was the chill down my spine and the sick twist in the pit of my stomach all without ever seeing his face. It was the way I could feel him looking through me without ever actually seeing him. It was the way the sound of his voice rose the hair on the back of my neck and arms. It was the way that something inside of me just knew the same way I knew two plus two was four.

I could attribute it to my dormant religious roots, say that they every now and then they rear their ugly head and get the best of me. I could say it was a coping mechanism for something I couldn't quite process but I whole heatedly believe that whether someone is a believer or not they would know true evil the way an ex-task force, atheist team member did. Standing there in Africa, a warehouse full of two hundred and six severed body parts from boys all under thirteen. The man responsible just laughing as he sat in the middle of the room watching us storm in as if he didn't have a care in the world. That day Timothy believed in evil.

The sound of his whispers pull me from the memory I had tried so hard to forget. He isn't talking to me and I doubt he is talking to anyone considering how soft his voice is.

Subtly I wiggle my feet which brushes something around, it's not thick or weighted but there is something and a lot of it. Pushing my head back against the thing behind me I come to the realization it's a wooden beam.

Like a freight train the realization of where I am hits me.

I think I preferred not knowing.

* * *

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**Unknown—6:42 p.m.**_

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yell at the top of my lungs as I pound the steering wheel with my palms.

All I keep thinking is twenty-four hours, you didn't need to be a cop to know the odds of finding someone after twenty-four hours dropped by fifty percent and the odds of finding them alive dropped by eighty-to be generous.

Without letting go of the wheel completely I wipe the moisture off of my hands on the sides of my jeans. With every passing minute my heart seems to speed up a bit more and somewhere in between that I can't help the way my palms keep getting clammy.

Taking a right turn instead of a left this time I leave a so called main street turning onto one of those creepy ones, one the had curves and turns with only a few lights rather than a million. I should have been back at the station doing-well something. Truth was all that was left to do now was pray and think and since I don't pray I'm thinking. Something about driving just relaxes me-normally.

I know she isn't fragile, she isn't some glass, show doll. Hell she could probably take me down if she wanted to but now that's all I can picture her ass. I guess picturing her as someone fragile and in need of saving was better than the alternative.

Twenty-four hours.

Shaking my head at the thought I glance back down at the clock. Why I kept checking, kept torturing myself to watch nearly every minute passing I don't know.

Twenty-four hours.

Images of her peacefully laying asleep in bed beginning to cloud my mind. Images of her face as I drove her toward ecstasy. Images of her smiling and laughing at me—at anything. Images of the genuine genteelness in her eyes. Images of her geeking-out which were this unusual mixture of adorable and sexy. Images of the first day we met.

Twenty-four hours.

Sweet images turn to those of her with tears running down her cheeks. Images of fear and heartbreak in her eyes. Images of her divine features twisted in pain.

Twenty-four hours.

My mind begins to indulge it's fear. Images from my memory of her fused with those of old cases or maybe horror movies. Her face beaten and bruised in one. Her face covered in blood in a another. Horrific image after horrific image.

I glace over at this old wooden sign that's unreadable but for some reason it catches my eye-then it doesn't. Looking back out onto the dark empty road I clear my throat and blink back building tears. Another horrific image coming to mind, one of her dangling from a rafter like her brother.

If I could just focus then maybe I could-I don't know.

Honestly I don't know what I could do at this point, I don't really know what anyone could do. We haven't been able to catch him as he takes child after child, why we would be able to find him now is-.

"Son of a bitch!" I find myself yelling as I jerk the steering wheel so hard to the left the car does it's intended one-eighty, the back half skidding off of the pavement into the muddy shrubbery.

Reaching into my pocket pulling my phone out and pressing redial all without taking my eyes off the road. A sputter and jerk coming from the rear before all four tires end up back on the pavement.

"Hale listen, Old Canter Lane. I'm minutes away."

_**(We're near there why? What? You think he took her there?)**_

"I'd bet anything on it."

_**(Bo, it's impossible it's closed off. Officers are supposed to be there still.)**_

"I just drove passed, there is nothing. No car, no tape, it's hidden as it was to begin with."

_**(That doesn't make-and the-can-me?)**_

"Hale you're cutting out. I'm about to turn in I'm going to lose you."

_**(Bo. Wait for backup) **_

This sort of call-waiting type of beep happens as I'm jerked so hard that the phone flies out of my hand onto the passenger side floor. My eyes glancing at the 'NO SIGNAL' written across the screen as I have no choice but the slow the car.

* * *

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Inside The Barn—7:12 p.m.**_

"Get up!" his yell startles my drifting mind. "Get up!" Never has he sounded more like Christian Bale's version of batman but the traces of humor to be found in this are completely lost now.

Somethings wrong.

"I said get up!" the words aren't even fully out of his mouth when he backhands me sending me doubled over to the ground once again, mouthful of blood.

He grabs a hold of my restrained wrists and pulls them above my head as he starts dragging me across the floor, my feet kicking wildly at the flood trying desperately to stop. It's maybe only ten feet, maybe fifteen before he drops me. Images of Lachlan's body flooding my mind, the realization of the exact place I'm at now, where I had been sitting for God knows how long.

"What's happening? Just tell me and maybe we-" a jolt of pain shocking my system as his heavy foot lands on my stomach.

"Silence! You have been judged there is nothing else to talk about." he removes his foot and if I could breathe I would have tried to run—or at least sit up. "You should be happy whore," I hear a thud and then his hands are on my chest. "You'll be home soon."

He moves atop of me, his left hand holding mine down against my stomach as he leans up, the fabric of his shirt brushing across my face. When I feel his weight settle back down fully on my lower half he is trying to get something over my head. I struggle-I struggle so hard I nearly knock myself unconscious but he gets it over my head and around my neck. He fiddles with it for a moment until it's nearly behind my neck-if I'm still alive when he drops me my neck won't snap.

A new wave of fear coming over me. Every fact I know about hanging deaths, how long they take and how much pain they can be when the neck doesn't snap right away.

"It's not-it's not Wednesday!" Words blurting out as I struggle underneath him, his left hand forcing mine above my head as his right rips open my first shirt. "It's not Wednesday!" I repeat-it can't be can it? Have I been here that long?

"Whores, lairs, murders-it doesn't matter," he laughs as he shifts, my feet kicking at the ground but it's pointless now. "There's no forgiveness for your kind, it doesn't matter what day I clean the world of your vileness."

"God, please." I can't help but to cry out as I feel the cold tip of a blade rest on my skin just above the hem of my pants that he's pulled as low down as my hips will allow. "Please, please, please." the sobs leaving my lips faster than I can think them as I squeeze my eyes as tightly as possible.

"Deaf ears to the children of Satan." his words lost on me drowned out by my own pleas to someone I swore I wouldn't turn to.

My cries turning to muffled screams as I lock my jaw, the feeling of the blade cutting through my skin. Slowly dragging it up to my belly button, the worst part knowing that this was far from over. Memories of Lachlan's body a permanent pictures on the back of my eyelids since he started. He's going to cut several times, he doesn't know what he's doing as much as I initially thought-not that, that matters now.

"Lauren!" My eyes fly open to darkness at the distant sound of her voice, but I know it's her's.

Hallucinations Lauren, that's all it is.

"Dammit!" he yells as he tosses the knife away, I can hear it hit the floor somewhere behind my head.

I want to scream out to her but I find myself silent and then my chance it gone, he's off of me already and pulling me up with a violent force he had yet to show. My body slamming so hard into the railing I was sure it broke, but the crack I hear more than likely is my own ribs.

His arms wrapping around my body as he hugs me from behind, lifting me up in the air. My feet kicking out the best I can trying to kick off of the ledge but I can't seem to find it.

* * *

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**Outside Of Barn—7:19 p.m.**_

"Lauren!"

What good yelling her name would do I'm not exactly sure but maybe if she could hear me then it would bring her comfort, maybe she would know I was here. I was sort of expecting a yell back maybe but there is nothing. It takes a conscious effort to make myself believe it's because she can't reply and not that it is already too late.

Every step closer to the barn feeling as if I'm walking through quicksand.

I want to run the last hundred and fifty feet but I can't, I can't throw caution to the wind and risk this turning to shit all because I didn't think. Large and quick steps as I near but none the less cautious. Looking everywhere I can see in the darkness, the sprinkles of a beginning snow and a frequent icy wind burning my skin but it's something I don't have the luxury of worrying about now.

I jump and spin around at the sound of a not so distant horn from one of those eighteen or sixteen wheel trucks. Taking several deep breaths I try to calm myself, more accurately my heart-rate. Eyes locking on my car up two hundred or so feet.

Where was my backup?

Turning back around I'm close enough now, I start the textbook, sort of sideways cautious-cop jog that makes most of us look like idiots but it doesn't matter, I can't waste anymore time.

Taking cover against the wall I edge up toward the half open door, light seeping out. Someone was here here that's for sure now hopefully it was her and hopefully she was still alive.

One deep breath taken and held before I turn the corner and take four quick steps in all in one motion.

I freeze.

I know I freeze because the world starts moving in slow motion. Lauren's body hanging exactly like Lachlan's had been, a black bag over her head but she isn't dead. Her legs are kicking out as if she is trying to swim through air. The image of a tall, dark figure running toward the back of the barn on the top level catching my eye. In a moment he'll be at the back stairs, I'd have a clean shoot to end this once and for all. But there is no way I can get him and save her. I don't even know if I can get up the ladder, to her and cut her free in time.

"Bo! Lauren!" the sound of Hale and Kenzi's over lapping yell jolts me back into reality.

He's on the second step and though I can't see his face-I have a clean shot. A head shot at that but it's only a second I have my gun pointed at him.

Glancing over to the ladder I feel my body want to run to it but I KNOW there isn't enough time for that. Raising my weapon I let out the breath I had been holding and fire. The first shot hits splintering the wood and the rope alike but it's still holding strong by several stray strands. The second shot does it though.

Her body falls to the ground with a hard thud, most likely she'll have a break but I don't care as long as she is breathing.

"Lauren?" running to her side, falling to my knees I nearly slide the last inches to her. "Lauren? Please be breathing. Please be breathing." dropping my gun I scoop her into my arms and lap, pulling the hood off of her. "Lauren? Lauren?" I shake her, tears running down my cheeks and landing on her blood stained face.

"Bo?" I look back at Hale and Kenzi through tear filled eyes, their outline all I can honestly make out.

"He-he went out there a minute ago. Y—you can still catch him." I struggle to get out, tears shamelessly running down my cheeks. I see him nod before running after the ghost of the man who did this.

"I—is she breathing?" Kenzi's broken whisper earning nothing from me but a whimper that escapes me as my body begins to shake, cries turning to sobs as I hold her tighter to my body. "Bo, is she breathing?"


	9. Artifice

_**Chapter Nine: Artifice**_

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Wednesday**_

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_**Station-Third Floor-3:45 p.m.**_

Peering through an icy gaze I stare into dead eyes, I don't speak I just stare and wait for something to happen but there's nothing to wait for because these eyes I'm staring into, these eyes I know to be his even though I've never actually seen them are really my own.

I know they're mine because I can see the blurry outlined reflection of myself. I know they're mine because I know I'm standing here staring into a mirror in the shitty bathroom of the God-forsaken police department.

Only problem is just as I know they're mine-I know they're his too.

I feel like he's inside of me, here with me. Seeing what I see, breathing the air I breathe and just watching—enjoying this sick and disgusted feeling I can't shake off no matter how many times I shower.

The sound of Dyson's voice outside of the door makes me jump, only I don't really I just feel like I did but in fact I haven't even blinked. For the first time in a long while I look away from my reflection toward the door but it doesn't open and his voice isn't there anymore, he wasn't calling for me just passing by I assume.

I don't return to my reflection right away, instead I tilt my head forward as I push up my scrub-top with my left hand and use the right to pull off the bandage from my lower stomach, it only comes down to the hem of my pants but it shows enough. sixty-two stitches with a forty-six percent probability of a scar.

Lucky me.

Lazily pressing the gauze back I let my shirt fall and glance at my arm, a thick, white bandage wrapped around three-fourths of my forearm for a severe fracture and another thirty-six stitches with a seventy-five percent chance of a scar.

Lucky me.

Snorting when my eyes glance over the various bruises on my hands which match the ones on my feet, legs and back. No other breaks though, no other stitches need on my body. Just a lot of ice.

Lucky me.

Looking back into the glass I avoid my own gaze but look at the overall image of a disfigured woman—honestly it wasn't that bad. An inch cut above my eyebrow which required five stitches and a little cut on my lip. Inside my mouth though the cut is worse and somewhere on the back of my head is a knot, I couldn't tell you which side though considering my entire head hasn't stopped throbbing.

Glancing back down I pick up the bottle of vicodin next to the faucet, quickly pouring two pills in the palm of my left hand.

Lucky me.

Tilting my head back letting them slowly fall down my throat I close the bottle back up and shove them into my pocket.

Letting my head fall forward I suddenly find myself slightly dizzy—guess I moved my head to fast.

Sixteen hours I've been free-bullshit.

Sixteen hours of stitches, ice packs, IV and blood transfusions. Sixteen hours of popping pain pills and pitying looks from everyone whose glanced my way. Sixteen hours of pain-pure pain. Sixteen hours of showers trying to get the smell of him, of that barn, of my own filth off of me. Sixteen hours of memories. Sixteen hours of seeing him every time I look in the mirror.

Tell me again how free I am.

Another snort escaping me as I look over myself, I look so pathetic I'm pitying myself now too.

_'Get a girl some pussy and she turns into one,' _

"Not now." I close my eyes, hands gripping the outside of the sink trying to make Lachlan disappear.

_'No wonder people are pitying you. Hiding out in some shithole bathroom like some common street rat.' _

"You don't know what it was like." my voice low but harsh.

_'I don't know what it was like?_' the sound of his icy chuckle makes my stomach turn, images of his body hanging there mixing with flashes of my flesh being cut into. '_No one came to my rescue Lauren, No Calvary. No multi-night stand trying to prove just how much she cares about me.'_

"Stop." eyes fluttering open as I come to find I am once again looking into my own eyes.

_'It burned didn't it? When the blade tore through the flesh, it was so sharp yet it burned and you couldn't figure out why. Your mind running through what was going to happen next, though in your case you really knew. Tell me did it make it better or worse?'_

"Stop it."

_'I remember after the sixth or seventh cut just giving up, begging for death.'_

"You wouldn't."

_'I did. You know I did, it was clear in the medical reports wasn't it.'_

"No." I shake my head looking back down into the sink.

_'You know it's true Lauren, what's next? Going to tell me you didn't give up either?'_

"I didn't. I'm still here."

_'You're still here because you think you're being punished. You gave in and that's just as bad as suicide isn't it? Funny how you turn you're back while standing on your soapbox but how quickly did you yell out for him? You look in the mirror and see the killer because you two aren't so different are you?'_

"No. Shut up." shaking my head closing my eyes tightly and taking a deep breath. Why isn't he going away this time?

_'Just look at it this way, we've never been closer to Cassidy.'_

"Shut up!" I yell spinning to my left expecting to find him standing there, staring at me with disappointed eyes but all I find are graftti riddled walls and broken stall doors.

He isn't real.

Taking another breath I turn and walk to the door, unlocking it and walking out into the hall greeted by an array of stares. Most full of pity while I'm certain those closest to me proximity wise heard my yell.

Oh well, another thing they can add to the pitying list.

Down the hall and into the homicide until, another array of looks and whispers falling silent as eyes fall onto me. But I don't make a face, don't make a noise. Passing up Tamsin and Dyson who were at her desk talking without so much as I glance I walk down the long, narrow hall I once found creepy but lets face it, after being in a coffin for over twelve hours one has to redefine how they use the term.

"Lauren." she nearly whispers my name as she walks out of one of the rooms. Her eyes so dark, so intense as they meet mine. She looks like she stops breathing for a moment, a slight glisten to her eyes as I'm sure tears are building.

As much as it hurts—I find myself feeling numb to it in a way.

"Bo." I try to smile but I just can't force myself to do so.

"I-I thought you were still in the hospital, I was going to visit tonight. I really wanted to be there sooner but with," she trails off looking toward the large glass window next to us which has the shade pulled down.

"But you couldn't I know, I'm not angry Bo-with you."

"Are you okay?" she takes a step forward, I don't move but I want to take one back—she must see it on my face or in my eyes because she doesn't move any closer. "It's a stupid question, but I just," she chuckles at herself as she shakes her head letting it fall forward.

"You don't need to worry about me Bo, I'm okay."

"Are you?" she looks up, this sudden sternness in her voice.

Swallowing back the lump in my throat, this sick feeling swirling around my stomach once again as I stare into her eyes.

I don't know how to tell her I'm not, I don't know how to tell her I want to fall apart-preferably in her arms. I don't know how to cry anymore. I don't know how to feel anything other than numb at this moment.

Taking a breath I take the three steps forward, left hand cupping her cheek as I muster a soft smile. A sharp pain piercing my heart at the realization for the first time I'm staring into eyes that aren't dead. In fact their quite the opposite. There is so much pain but where there is pain there is life. I swear I can see in the moment how much she loves me, how she is trying so desperately to tell me but she won't and I can't handle that right now so we say nothing.

Like a summers breeze our moment passes, I pull my hand away and she blinks looking away from me.

"You have a suspect?" I ask as emotionless as I can, it's good honestly. It's enough to fool her, it's nearly enough to fool myself.

"Several." she takes a breath and looks down to the floor. "Seven people were picked up out there. A group of three goth teens, they're in holding now. A pair of older teen boys, they were questioned a bit but pretty quickly they were ruled out."

"And the other two?"

"Some guy named Massimo, no last name but he does seem a little off not to mention he is Dyson and Tamsin's pick for this."

"But not yours?"

"No, I mean yeah." she shrugs slightly, shaking her head and making sure to avoid eye contact. "I mean I trust them and their instinct so,"

"I trust yours." my hand reaching out and grabbing her's. I don't think I meant to do it though. She looks up, this uncertain fear creeping over her tired features but she give me this little nod and I let go of her hand as she does.

"His name is Rainer Prideux, we're still waiting on prints to turn something up but as of right now he's a ghost. He doesn't seem off or unstable but there-"

"Is just something about him?" I finish her sentence. "Like he's there but he's not and when he's looking at you-it's as if he's looking through you, into you."

"Ye—yeah." that faint, painful whisper of hers returning as I feel her eyes on my face but this time I don't look at her, no this time I'm staring at the faded, silver doorknob to the room where he awaits me.

"I need to talk to him."

"Are you outta your mind?" she snorts through a short chuckle.

"Bo," my attention snapping to her. "We don't have time for you to play the over protective girlfriend, no one has gotten anywhere with him or you wouldn't be standing here talking to me. Let me speak to him."

"Absolutely not." she shakes her head, her bafflement quickly turning into an irritated disbelief.

"Bo."

"Lauren I said no. You just got-"

"Don't tell me what just happened to me like I wasn't the one going through it." I snap, a genuine rush of anger coursing through me. "I am asking you nicely to let me go in there and speak to him but if I have to I will talk to Evony, either way I will speak to him." I catch myself, catch the rabidness in my tone. "Please, I don't want to fight you."

She doesn't say another word, she just tilts her head in defeat. This sense of hurt, of embarrassment, of anger all mixing into one but she won't say another word. Stepping aside I walk to the door, my hand on the doorknob but I freeze. The cold metal in my hand reminding me of just how the blade felt as it cut into my stomach. Lachlan's words from earlier rushing back at the memory. Even though the blade was cold against my skin as my flesh tore it felt as if it was being set on fire.

Pushing the door open I walk in and push it closed all without looking at him.

"Rough night Doctor?" his voice isn't what I remember, this is smooth and low, sort of reminds me of Dyson's in a way. "You're wearing scrubs." he nods his head toward me mistaking my expression for confusion or maybe surprise.

"Comfortable?" I ask as I take a seat. He just continues to lean back in the seat, hands in his jeans pockets.

"It's not horrible." he gives me this shrug with the slightest of smirks I've ever seen.

Taking a deep breath through my nose I lean back in the seat myself, not as leisurely as he is but I want him to know I'm not scared nor am I in any rush. I look over the empty table top in front of us and up to his chest. He certainly has the build I remember but what about the strength? Eyes moving up his neck, no marks—I don't think I ever hit him there. Up to his jaw, there is the tiniest of bruises on the left side of his chin—it could be from when I hit him-or it could be nothing. No facial hair, not even a five o'clock shadow—it fits what I remember. Another thing is I don't smell any cologne just as I hadn't from before-but this is all guesses now.

"I find it interesting you aren't trying to defend yourself."

"I've already told the other cop I was out there taking a walk-"

"Wrong place, wrong time?"

"You could say that."

"Okay," I draw in another breath and hold it, my heart racing as I force my eyes over his cheekbones to meet his eyes.

"I would say it looks like you've seen a ghost doctor but then again we both know that is impossible."

"Why is that?" I know my voice shakes, I know he knows I fear him but all I can do is stare into his eyes. It's almost like when you stare as a passing freight train, if you're not careful you find yourself being pulled in.

"You can't see ghosts." he sort of chuckles, everything he does is this weird half way sort of thing. Every expression, every tone, every movement, all of it is just enough for you to catch it but not be sure of it.

"Is that what you think you are? A ghost of some kind doing God's will?"

"Of course not, that's just silly."

"So, the Holy Ghost is silly?" I watch as his right eye twitches. "Problem?"

"I'd appreciate if you didn't say things like that is all." he forces a smile and straightens up in his seat. "Twisting my words isn't the polite thing to do."

"Isn't that what you're doing though, with your interpretation of God's will or the Bible or wherever it is you think you're getting your mission from."

"No," I wait for him to deny it but he just leans forward, elbows on the table as his eyes stay locked with mine. "I've never once twisted HIS word."

"There's a lot about me you hate isn't there?" this time it's me who ever so slightly smirks. "What was it you had kept calling me-a whore? Then there's the little fact I prefer women in my bed. What else is it about me that set you off?" I wait and though I can see a raging fire behind the deadness in his eyes he says nothing, does nothing. "You do understand what I am saying when I'm speaking to you right?"

"I do."

"Not feeling particularly chatty today? Need to have a girl tied up and blindfolded to feel adequate?" I snort at my own comment. "Sorry, that was just a bitchy comment because my head is throbbing from the dozen or so times you smacked me around but I won't undermine my intelligence so you can feel superior, we both know what you do has nothing to do with anything sexual, doesn't even have to do with rage or power."

Silence.

"You know the detective that was in here isn't a particular fan of religion in general, thinks it's stupid."

"Her kind often does." a slight bite to his words now, it's slight but it's there.

"Me on the other hand, it's not the hateful views. It's not the way people like you twist scriptures into meaning whatever it is you want it to mean. It's not even that you guys chose to overlook the whole part on love and forgiveness." I lean further onto the table to match his position. "What pisses me off beyond belief is that all you sick, twisted, Bible thumping assholes can't even tell me what verse your so called message is from. All of you, you ramble on like the world is ending but can't name me a single verse or hell even a chapter. You go on and on about how God said this or that but someone asks you to tell them where it says that, you've got shit." I smirk leaning just a bit further in. "It's all about ignorance and stupidity-with **your** kind."

Silence.

"See amongst my not so pleasant stay with you I came to the realization that we've all endowed you with this intellect you simply don't possess. We see the body count, the aftermath of your actions, buy into the headlines and put you on this pedestal. We fear you like you are some kind of untouchable deity but the truth is everything up until this point has been pure luck."

Silence.

"Not God purposefully shading you from us because you are on some mission of his. Not because you are untouchable or brilliant or even smart. You've gotten away with it for so long because you've simply been lucky. Picked the right kids at the right times. Picked the right towns and right police departments. We've tripped ourselves up, you've had nothing to do with it."

Silence.

"What you are is a twisted and lucky individual whose completely ignorant."

"I don't believe in luck." his tone lowering to a near recognizable tone, fists beginning to ball.

"You gave yourself away last night, how angry you got. It wasn't because I was insulting your God by speaking his scripture, it was because you couldn't. You hate me because of something written hundreds of years ago that you cannot even quote."

"You're wrong."

"Don't start lying now, it doesn't suit you. Not to mention your God doesn't believe in forgiveness of sins and lying is one no matter what religion you are."

Silence.

"He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone, John eight-seven. If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act, Leviticus twenty-thirteen. Thou shall not lie, the fourth commandment. Marriage honourable in all, and the bed undefiled. but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge, Hebrews thirteen-four." I lean back watching the anger riddle every single line on his face. "Do you want me to keep going Rainer, it seems as though you need some help in the justification as to why you hate me so much."

"Don't." he's tone almost there, just a little more and it will be undeniable.

"I have more, I can make a little list for you if you'd like that way when you're in front of the judge you can actually know how to justify why you've done what you've done."

Silence.

"I don't understand why kids though?"

Silence.

"Another one that's too difficult hm? You cannot accurately justify why you do what you do nor can you tell me why you like defenseless, little children." I nod. "Okay. Why don't you tell me why you don't believe in forgiveness?"

"God does not."

"Let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins, James five-twenty. Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven, Luke six-thirty-seven. There is one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you that you judge your neighbor, James four-twelve. Try again."

"You do not know his word-his mission!" his fits slam down on the desk so hard it breaks skin, blood slowly pooling beneath them.

"And neither do you!" my own palms slamming on the table, body tensing at the pain that courses through my right arm.

"What's going on in here?" Bo asks as she burst through the door but I don't break eye contact with him, I won't.

"You aren't an angel or a messenger or even a Boogyman. You are nothing more than a twisted little man who kills because he enjoys the rush it brings."

"You're wrong." his voice still risen as he stands, my body jerking back the way a hand would near fire but Bo is already here, hands gripping his shoulders pushing him back down.

"You got him?" Hale's voice fills the room mere moments before he is behind Bo ready to act if needed.

"Let him go." I say softly, a slight twinge of embarrassment and shame that I had jumped. "Let him go." I repeat with a nod and though I can practically see the anger coming off of her in waves she lets him go and takes four steps back to stand with Hale.

"I haven't confessed to anything." he says flatly, a new wave of calm coming over him. In a matter of seconds he's reverted back to the statuesque man I walked in on.

"Let's not play games, you know who I am and what I really do. Lies of omission and avoidance are a part of my everyday life. You have been careful not to admit to anything but you have become all but transparent Rainer Pridux. With every little smirk and question passed up you only further condemn yourself. You aren't being careful not to admit to anything, you're being careful not to deny it. I know who you are. It's over." slowly I stand, jaw clenched refusing to show the enormous amounts of pain I'm in.

"Lauren," he says in that low whisper. My knees locking as my heart races so fast I'm sure I'm going to pass out. But I look back at him, left hand on the beam of the doorway to keep my balance. The feel of Bo and Hale right behind me suddenly no comfort at all as I stare into his eyes. I'm suddenly right back in that barn. "You really should get new locks, anyone could easily walk right in. Perhaps next time it will be your sister, it would be such a shame to lose your whole family so brutally."

"Let's go." Bo says, hands on my lower back as she tries to guide me out.

"What does that mean?"

"Lauren, he's just talking shit to fuck with you. He's gonna be somebody's bitch by the end of tonight." Hale says but there is a smirk on Rainer's lips, something isn't right.

"What does that mean?" I repeat myself, voice shaking as it grows louder. Walking back over to the table, looking down at him yet I feel so small.

"I could have told you everything I did to you, to Lachlan, to those children-the ones you know about and the ones you don't and none of it would have mattered. Rights must be read to someone and understood before a confession is taken. You may only hold someone for twenty-four hours without arresting. You must have probable cause to arrest." he leans right back in the seat, hands going into his pockets as this wide smile covers his lips. "In-" he trails looking up to the clock but I can't seem to take my eyes off of him. "Two and a half hours you'll have no choice but to let me go." a hearty laugh filling the room that brings tears to my eyes. "Tell me again that God is not protecting me."

"Lauren just wait a minute." Bo tries to order. As I storm passed her she reaches for my arm but I jerk it away. "Dammit Lauren, wait." she tries again and I can her and Hale's footsteps right behind me but I don't stop.

I don't stop until I'm standing right in front of Dyson and even then I think it's a combination of his legs and Tamsin's desk that make me stop. My open hands landing on his chest pushing him back with what little strength I have left. I think I yell something at him as I do, 'You son of a bitch.' or some other non pleasantry.

"Hey!" Tamsin's voice follows mine as she jumps up from her seat and pushes me back which instantly causes Bo who had been right behind me to shove her.

"Back up." Hale's voice is next in line as he slides in front of me to stare down Dyson who had jumped off of the desk a little too fast for his liking I guess.

I hadn't intended to cause a fight but then again it wasn't as if I was going to go cry about it either. I had plenty of other things to cry about and the fact that a bunch of overly macho cops wanted to get into it fell way below my 'Gives-a-Shit' line.

"What is this bullshit?" Evony asks so calmly it's almost comical as she struts in from the hallway in a low cut, red dress, heels and a to-go, Styrofoam container in hand as if she had just walked in from a date.

What it must be like to not have a conscious, to not care what was going on in the world even as it's spinning out of control right in front of you.

"You didn't read him his rights." I say flatly from behind Hale, no one other than Evony moving a muscle. "We questioned him-**I **questioned him and he hadn't once been read his rights."

"Did he confess?" Tamsin asks taking a step back from Bo.

"It doesn't matter if he did or not. He's been unlawfully detained and questioned, do you know the repercussions for this?" my eyes never once leaving Dyson's. "Not only did all of you do it but I did it." I snort while running my hand through my hair, a slight chuckle at my own stupidity. "Forget the fact I could lose my badge, I could go to jail."

"Lauren chill, it's my fuck up. I'll take the blame, say under oath you didn't know. Whatever other bullshit I gotta do." Tamsin says with the little nod and smile that's supposed to be reassuring.

"That's what you think I'm pissed about?" I snort in disbelief turning toward her. "Everything he has said is void. He could have confessed with maps and drawings and it would all be thrown out in court. He isn't even legally under arrest, in a matter of hours he's going to be back out on the street hunting for his next victim."

"Bullshit." she snorts out this chuckle, an awkward smile quickly fading. "That's bullshit right, we can keep him right?" she looks to Dyson who looks down to the ground and then to Evony who finally looks interested in the events playing out in front of her. "That's bullshit right?" she asks again as if she adds a little more ephemeris to the question the answer will change. "Can't you detain him? I mean we all know what the CSIS does, rights don't apply to you guys."

"If there is a threat to Nation Security. He isn't a terrorist."

"Lie." she snaps.

"I cannot say that man is a terrorist, we need tangible proof or at the very least a credible tip. You don't think the court would see right through that. A man suspected of being The Montreal Boogyman is detained on suspicion of terrorism after his rights were violated? This entire department would be fired, this unit would be thrown in jail. My boss' boss would be fired." I take several steps back and lean against the file cabinets that line the wall. "Is everyone here ready to serve prison time? No-didn't think so."

"These guys, the ones that have cycles and need to kill on days if they miss a day would they stop?" Bo asks, for a minute I forgot she was here.

"Not technically and with him I don't know, he might just wait until Sunday or look for another adult victim since he isn't quote unquote restricted to specific days with them." my voice instinctively softening to her as I tilt my head to the right and then the left trying to work the cramp out of my neck. "Why, what are you thinking?"

"Just was thinking maybe we could buy ourselves some time. If we could prevent him from killing tonight and the only adults he would go after would be here I mean—it would be three full days for us to find proof that he's our guy."

"In theory it could work." I say with a little nod. "But we can't detain him longer than the twenty-four hours, not legally."

"What if we got him on assaulting a police officer?" Dyson speaks up. "The charge would most likely be thrown out given the situation but it would be grounds to hold him until morning right?"

"We'd need him first to do it, then we'd need an abundance of proof. Someone that isn't a member of this squad. But I don't see it happening, he wants out—he won't react." I sigh, every rise and fall of my chest bringing another wave of pain.

"As it grows closer to mid-night I imagine he'll get irritable, we just need to press him." Evony walks around the desks to stop as she reaches Dyson's side. "Don't touch him, don't do anything to him that could be construed as excessive force."

"You think this will work?" my eyebrow raising as our eyes meet, it's strange that every so often I can see an actual person underneath all of her layers of venom and self-indulgence.

"I think Dyson and Tamsin fucked up, something that will be dealt with in due time." her attention shifting to him. "But right now we need to do what we can to keep him from going free. So we'll pull out whatever tricks are left in the bag."

* * *

__**Evony's Office—6:50 p.m.**__

"I've never seen someone be so immune to Evony's charm, or lack of." I say softly leaning into the right corner of the visitor's chair. "I actually think he's enjoying it."

"Yeah, well he's a sick fuck." Kenzi's voice stern but not stern as though she is pissed more as if she is being angry to hide the hurt, the fear-I don't blame her. Sometimes angr is the easier option, I think I would chose that if I wasn't so numb to it all. "Don't know what that says about you though, considering you were dating her for what, three months?"

"People like us can't have soapboxes Kenz," I glance up at her still hovering by the doorway. "We do what has to be done and sometimes that includes doing questionable things."

"Yeah, well as it turns out I don't think this is the life for me." she pauses to clear her throat. "I'm serious."

"Oh are you?" my snort covers my chuckle as I just shake my head, eyes still down on the file in my lap.

"I am."

"Okay."

"Lauren look at me when I'm talking to you." she demands and I appease her. "I am serious."

"So that's it?" I shrug. "You're going to blow off all of the work you've done, everything I've done to make sure you get in for what? Him?"

"It's not just about him."

"Right." I just smirk and nod as she starts to leave, classic Kenzi to back out of anything with real responsibility.

"You know what, so what if it is about him!" she spins back around, eyes glossing over as her hands are balled. "He is a good man and he loves me. For the first time someone isn't looking at you, they aren't wanting you, they want me. For the first time I know what it's like to be loved by someone who isn't my family. To be scared out of my mind, to be able to fall apart and it not be to you or to Lachlan."

"Fine." I close the folder and toss it back onto Evony's desk. "Do whatever you like Kenz, you always do."

"Fine? That's all I get from you?"

"What do you want me to say? I have bigger things to worry about other then if you plan to take a job or not because more than likely by the end of the week you will have changed your mind yet again. Who knows maybe by the end of this month you'll want to be a free-lance P.I. Or you'll go really crazy and decide to be a con-artist for a bit. You change your mind **a lot **so excuse me if I'm not ready to pop the champagne and get you and Hale a housewarming gift."

"You can be such a cold, frigid bitch when you want to be, you know that?"

"How do you think I survived this?" I stand up a little too fast, my head spinning but I place my hand on the desk to keep myself steady. "Where do you think you learned that little tacit you're doing right now, hm? Anger instead of hurt, you learned that from me and I don't see you rushing to give yourself a lecture about it."

"Well," she slaps her hands on her legs and rolls her eyes at me sort of laughing as tears slip. "Excuse me for caring Lauren, I know I'm not Bo so it probably doesn't matter much but-"

"Let's not go there." I snort, shaking my head and idly looking back down at the file.

"I don't want this life anymore because I want to try with the man I'm falling in love with. I **can't** do this job because I can't stand the thought of you having to bury someone else."

"What?" my single word a painful whisper as I tilt my head up to face her.

"Cassidy was a badass bitch, I mean she was just badass but I still remember her funeral like it was yesterday. Lachlan was like a Superman or the Hulk or some other untouchable bullshit and he's laying in a fridge somewhere waiting for us to bury him. You," her voice breaks, tears no longer slipping but rather falling down her cheeks as she looks down to the floor. "You are my sister, my mother, my best-friend, my hero and I came," slight sniffle as she raises her right hand, thumb and index-finger less than a centimeter apart. "This close Lauren to having to bury you too."

"Kenzi-"

"I'm scrappy don't get me wrong but I'm not any of you, they are dead and you—I almost lost you Lauren. I don't think I am strong enough to handle it and all I keep thinking about is you getting another call about having to come identify my remains. You having to stand there as they put a star on the wall with no name but you'll know which one it is just like you'll know where Lachlan's is."

"You've wanted this since you were a little girl, you can't let me hold you back."

"I've wanted to make you proud since I was a little girl." she sniffles again, turning away as she wipes the tears away with the back of her hand. "I've wanted to make Lachlan proud since I was little. I'm not brilliant, I'll never be a doctor or an architect or whatever other bullshit you smart people do. I'm not badass, I'm scrappy but I'm not about to win any boxing matches. I'm average-"

"Kenzi don't-"

"It's okay, I have my own things that make me kickass but I will never be you or him or her. I just wanted to-but after last night, I just-I've never been so scared Lauren." another sniffle but the tears have come to a halt now. "I'm sorry I'm letting you down again."

My lips part but nothing comes out, I want to tell her something but I don't. Instead I just watch as she turns and walks away. I see Hale reach out for her arm when she passes Tamsin's desk but she jerks away and walks out leaving us both. He doesn't go after her but rather turns and looks back at me, our eyes meeting. I expect anger, the anger of a protective lover but instead I see an understanding and for some reason that hurts more than anything.

I don't want to be understood.

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__**Bo's Pov**__

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__**Lauren's Office—8:13 p.m.**__

She's staring into another file, no surprise there. She looks angry and in pain though and that's new, I can't tell if it's just in general or if it's what she's reading. I want to ask but instead I just linger in the doorway, apparently this has become our thing, watching one another from doorways.

I wish I could just hold her but I can't for so many reasons, it's just as well I guess, I'd be scared that I'd actually hurt her.

I don't know the full extent of the damage done, I held her in the backseat as Kenzi sped down street after street getting us to the hospital. I remember the blood layered onto her entire body but mostly her face, my tears falling down onto her and sliding off her face but still the blood remained. I remember rushing in after her as the doctors took her. I remember Kenzi's little stone face as tears streamed down her cheeks.

I honestly don't think those are moments I'll ever forget.

"What are you reading?" I ask taking a few steps in but she doesn't look up at me, doesn't even really acknowledge I'm here. "Lauren?"

"It's Lachlan's autopsy report."

"Why would you want to read that now-or any time?"

"Just had to check something."

"For the case?"

"No, personal."

"Oh," I nod not really sure what to say. "Make you feel better, get what you need?"

"No."

"No you didn't get what you need?"

"No, it didn't make me feel better."

"Oh." I feel so stupid, reduced to sounds and five word sentences. Sighing at myself I decide to be ballsy and take a seat across from her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Is that your new favorite word?"

"No."

"So you're just being difficult then?"

"No."

"Lauren-"

"Bo," she snaps looking up at me and I can only manage to hold her gaze for a moment or maybe it's two but all of the damage done, all of the pain in her eyes-I don't know what to say, what to do to make it better.

"I'm sorry," I whisper looking away from her and out into the autopsy room.

"Just leave it."

"I wasn't talking about just now-"

"I know and that's why I'm saying leave it."

"Fine." I say flatly and give a nod before turning back just in time to catch her closing the folder and placing it on her desk.

"You had to release him didn't you?"

"Yes," another nod accompanied by another wave of guilt. "Evony is calling in every patrol officer she can to hover around the woods and parks and farms with lots of land. Dyson and Tamsin are tailing him closely so there's no way he's going to snatch another kid tonight."

"Where there is a will there is a way."

"That's a really dreary thought to have considering what we're talking about."

"Sorry," she snorts first, look up at me with this calm rage sorta look before chuckling. "I'm not really in a rainbows and unicorns type of place right now."

"Okay." another nod as I stand up, clenching my jaw to keep from saying anything to her. I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to do anything other than make sure she was okay so why she was making this so difficult I don't know. "Lauren," her name leaves my lips without a thought as I reach the doorway, hands on either side but I keep my back to her. "I really am sorry that I didn't get to you sooner-I really did try."

* * *

_**_Station-Third Floor-9:15 p.m._**_

"You look like shit." I chuckle at myself staring down my own reflection. Fuck, I really do look like shit.

Shaking my head I reach down turning on the water but the vibration in my pocket grabs my attention. Hitting the water back off I reach for my phone, a rush of fear shooting through me when I see my grandfather's name pop up on the screen.

"I can't do this right now."

_**_(Is it true?)_**_

"I told you I can't do this right now."

_**_( You don't really seem to ever have time anymore. It's been over a week since I've seen or heard from you.)_**_

"I've been a little busy trying to catch a child murder Trick."

_**_(Not too busy to share your bed with a rat.)_**_

"Tick."

_**_(Not too busy to move into your own apartment.)_**_

"What, are you watching me now?"

_**_(People talk Bo, people talk to me.)_**_

"What does that even mean?" I snort shaking my head. "Look I know you know who she is, I know you know I've been sleeping with her and I know you know that-"

_**_(You were willing to sell us all out for her?)_**_

"Y—yes."

_**_(I love you Bo, but I cannot keep protecting you if this is what you're choosing to do.)_**_

"I never asked for your protection Trick. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of your protection and your helping me and-all of it. I am done. I am out."

_**_(You don't mean that.)_**_

"I really do."

_**_(Then you will fail. You won't make it without me.)_**_

"Watch me." a flick of my thumb and the call is ended. A flick of my wrist and the phone is in the sink.

In a matter of moments I've just changed my whole life.

* * *

_**_Evony's Office—9:59 p.m._**_

"Ah, and here I thought the janitors has already made their rounds." she says with a smirk walking straight for her chair, I wonder where she's been.

"I didn't feel like dragging all of these back to my desk."

"Lauren certainly did make a mess didn't she?" her comment earns my attention, eyes shifting from the cluttered desk to her.

"You can say that." we both know she isn't talking just about her precious desk. I guess she's already been filled in on my and Trick's chat. "But then again I think we're all doing a pretty good job at making messes lately."

"Some more than others."

"I still have pictures Evony." I say flatly, that smug smirk wiping clean off of her face. "Every interaction won't be hard to back up if need be, especially the last one. You remember right, where you basically said you were jumping ship."

"So that's how it's going to be?"

"If necessary then yes. Do whatever it takes to save your own ass remember, you taught me that."

"Me?" she laughs leaning back in her chair. "Sounds more like something little Lauren would have taught you. Certainly is something she is good at, though lets be honest there isn't much she isn't good at right?"

I don't look away from her like I would have before, I'm not afraid of her anymore. I don't even get angry, not really because I realize that she just like everyone else now. She is just another drowning rat in a maze grasping desperately at whatever life line is being offered. In some ways she is more like me that I want to admit and in others I am nothing like her—-I can see that now.

"You know you're doing the same thing I am you're just drinking the kool-aid, buying into the fantasy they've set up for you."

"You're jumping from side to side hoping no one will notice Evony, all you're doing is trying to save your own ass."

"And you aren't?"

"No."

"Bullshit. You're selling out your own grandfather to save your ass."

"It's not like that."

"You can't possibly be dumb enough to think that Lauren is not only going to protect herself, her sister, you AND Trick. You can't be that dumb. Lauren's reach only goes so far and that fourth seat you were hoping would extend to him since after all he is your grandfather, it's being taken by me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You have proof of me telling you what? A few things here and there, orders I myself was told to tell you? Still such the armature. I have boxes on top of boxes of photos, documents, video and voice recordings." she stands up, that smug smile finally returning as she stares down at me. "The benefit of no loyalty, of no conscious is that I can go offer it all to Lauren. I can sit for deposition after deposition selling everyone out and not lose a second of sleep."

"She wouldn't,"

"Still so naive. Lauren may be taking a ride on the much publicized and highly overrated roller-coaster called Bo but at the end of the day she will chose her job every day of the week and twice on Sunday. What I'm interested to see is that if this new noble, take-charge Bo will be around when she finally leaves."

"You think you know everything."

"I know people." she snorts, rolling her eyes at me but looks down at the sound of her office phone going off. "You did what-How did this happen?!" she yells, every tiny trace of confidence and smugness vanishing. "I am going to kill you myself!" she throws the phone down and I don't speak, I just wait. "Your idiot boy-toy lost our killer."

"What?" it wasn't an actual question, more a reaction of shock that Dyson would make yet another mistake in such a short amount of time. He wasn't perfect but mistakes were far and few in between, especially when it came to work.

"FUCK!" she screams, hands swiping across her desk throwing nearly everything onto the floor.

* * *

_**_Station-First Floor-Main Entrance—10:27 p.m._**_

"What's going on?" Lauren asks looking around the hall as she watches several officers speed-walking toward the exit, me being one of them until she caught me.

"We have a problem. Don't worry." I say trying to walk away but she follows me the six steps toward the door and then the two out of it before I feel her hand on my shoulder.

"Bo."

"They lost Rainer."

"What?"

"They lost him over an hour ago, they thought they'd be able to pick him back up but when they realized they couldn't-"

"They just called it in?" she snaps cutting me off. "I'm coming with you."

"The hell you are."

"Bo-"

"Don't Bo me, look at you Lauren. Jesus do you have death wish or something? You're in no condition to be running around playing another round of Catch-The-Sicko."

"I appreciate your concern-"

"You appreciate my concern?" I can't help the snorted chuckle that comes.

"Either I ride with you or I'll ride with someone else, it's your choice." she says it as if her word is law and honestly at this point it probably is. I refuse to fight with her, mostly because I know it will be pointless.

"Boring! What's next are you gonna braid each others hair?" we both turn to face Evony whose just standing there holding the door open, I guess we sorta are blocking the exit. "Can we save the Days of our Lives drama for a little later, say when there isn't a derange child murder on the lose?" she walks up to us, a quick glare at me and then a look I can't quite read is directed at Lauren, who seems to know exactly what it means considering how long she holds her gaze.

"Come on Lauren." I blurt out looking between the two. Whether it be with me or with someone else I know for a fact she would be going out tonight so at least with me I know that I will protect her.

"It's fine Bo, I would hate to get in your way." she says colder than any other time today which is a shock all in itself but what's even more shocking is that she is following Evony down the stairs. "I'll ride with Evony." she calls out without even bothering to look back at me.

* * *

_**_Dixon Farm-1.1 miles from Main House-11:46 p.m._**_

__Zachariah Green. Four year old white male with curly blonde hair and a distinctive freckle underneath his right cheekbone. Last seen wearing a dark blue, fuzzy, Batman, footed pajamas and a little silver cross his mother had bought him when he was baptized two weeks ago. Will respond to Zachy a nickname his non-English speaking grandmother has given him. He is extremely reserved and shy, has a tendency of hiding, do not expect him to respond to you. __

__Abducted approximately forty-five minutes to an hour ago from his two bedroom apartment he shares with his mother and grandmother. Mother came home from night shift to find him missing from her bed where his grandmother had laid him not long before, she claims she heard nothing. __

Those few sentences just keep replaying in my mind on a loop, every time a clearer and clear picture of this boy, this family forming. I saw a picture of him quickly, probably a whole three seconds but it was enough to know him on sight though the more I keep replaying this description in my head the clearer he becomes to me.

Never heard the boy before in my life but for some reason I can picture him all tucked in, in his mother's bed giggling as his grandmother called him his special nickname and gave him a kiss goodnight. I can picture his mother tearing up as she embraced her son after his baptism, placing a simple cross around his neck, something she probably saved up for months for, having to take extra shifts.

The sound of a branch snapping beneath my foot pulls my mind back to reality. I've never been a fan of the outdoors but after this passed week I would be happy to never see a grouping of more than three trees.

It's so cold again, I can see my breath clearly in the air-all I can think about is how cold little Zachy must be now.

The Dixon Farm and Grover Park were the only two places within his projected kill area that were near Zachy's house and had any type of water on the land. In total 4.6 miles of land to cover by one hundred and sixteen officers along with thirty-seven firemen that had volunteered to help. There simply isn't enough of us to cover all of the land in the harsh cold of night but there wasn't enough time to get anyone else.

Every few steps in between worrying about this boy my worry wanders back over to Lauren. Was she somewhere here or was she in the park? Was she okay or not? Was she with Evony still or had she been her normal stubborn self and done what she wanted?

I shake the thought, I can't worry about her now too.

I keep looking around for Zachariah, for Rainer, for any officers who might just happen to wander over here but I see nothing other than my breath, fog and trees. Lots and lots of trees.

I start to angle myself toward the east back toward the house area but there is this faint muffled noise and I swear on everything it's a scream. I swear it is but I don't hear it again so I can't be sure. I stand so still waiting for anther noise, any kind of noise that I'm sure I blend in perfectly to the scenery.

Could it have been my mind playing tricks?

I start to turn back, head toward the house but something takes over me, my body running full force in the opposite direction. I'm running so hard my lungs are burning, I can barely even see in front of myself but I just keep running toward something that might not even be real.

It is though.

My body freezes, it's like I run face forward into a wall that isn't really there. Thirty-maybe forty feet up I see him on his knees, hands gripping Zachariah's pjamma's as he coughs for air, tiny hands pushing at Rainer's arm.

My mouth opens to yell the normal police bullshit, 'stop' 'I'll shoot' any of that but before words can come out he's pushing Zachariah back under the cold, dirty water. I know I can't get over to him in time to pull him off-so I shoot.

I hit him in the left arm and he goes back just a little, his right arm still firmly holding the little boy underneath so I shoot again. Another hit, this one in his shoulder. A groan and a jerk back but still he refuses to let go and though I haven't stopped moving toward him since the first shot I'm still not close enough to pull him back.

I fire again for the last time, I know it's the last because for the first time in my life I'm taking a shot to kill. One pull of the trigger, on loud pop and it's over. I watch the blood splatter from the other side of his head like in a movie—or maybe it's just my mind imagining things. I watch as his body jerks before falling over to the side. I watch as he goes motionless, his hand off of Zachariah's chest now.

I look up from his dead body, my own starting to move toward the boy but my eyes catch Lauren's. It's only a second, but it feels like an eternity that I'm staring at her.

She doesn't say anything, doesn't make an expression just looks at me-and then she isn't.

She runs over to the water stepping over Rainer's body pulling Zachariah out, she already has him positioned for CPR before I get there.

"One, two, three, four." she says over and over again as she does chest compressions and then breaths into his mouth. Every time he doesn't open his eyes her voice growing a little softer but her actions more frantic.

It wasn't until the seventh round that I allowed myself to fall over onto my ass rather than staying on my knees, gun just laying beside me in between myself and Zachy's little body. It wasn't until the fourteenth time that she did the same, both of us sitting here on either side of him silent staring out into the river or pound or whatever the fuck it is.

After another minute or maybe it's two I glance over at her, tears slowly falling down a beaten and stoic face. She isn't here anymore, she's somewhere else. I don't blame her, I wish I was too.

My eyes slowly fall from her onto him, his eyes are closed and in the darkness it almost looks as though he's just sleeping. Reaching out as I lean forward, carefully I untwist his little cross that had become tangled. The symbol means nothing to me but it did to him, to his mother and grandmother. Trembling fingers tracing the outline as my vision blurs.

My hand moving down to his chest and pulling the zipper back up from one-fourth down, these were his favorite PJ's his mother said, said that he loved to have them zipped up all the way unlike most kids because it made him feel safe—make him feel like a mini-batman.

A sniffle escapes as does my tears. Taking a breath I reach over brushing Lauren's leg by accident as I take his hand and place it over his stomach. There is still some blood over it despite all of the water that should have washed it away, he was just four but he fought. Shaking my head freeing another set of tears I place his other hand over the other on his stomach.

He looks peaceful.

I can hear the sounds of barking dogs approaching, officers yelling, mostly males but I think I hear Evony's voice too. Scattered beams of dim light coming from every direction seeping through the trees but I don't call out and neither does she.

They'll find us soon enough, they aren't far.

"He fought." a broken whisper escaping from me as I look out onto the water, my hand reaching over and holding both of his.

"It's not your fault."

I slowly tilt my head to look at her, a broken sob coming from me unable to hold back the full force of my tears as I feel her trembling hand go over mine. She doesn't look at me, doesn't say another word but just holds my-our hands tighter.


	10. Breathe Part 1

_**Chapter Ten: Breathe Part. 1**_

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Vancouver/Sunday**_

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_**Saint Sebastian Church—11:37 a.m.**_

"Lachlan,"

Tilting my head forward as my left hand runs through my oily, mousse filled hair. A tiny sigh escaping as I start to look up, eyes falling upon Sarah sitting front and center—I remember vividly what it was like to be in her shoes.

She's just sitting there with her back tight as she stares up at me intently listening or rather waiting for me to continue speaking. She keeps her jaw locked to keep from sobbing aloud but I know her well enough to know if she gave just the slightest trace of lack to her jaw muscles she would fall to pieces right here. She has on an elegant black dress with every piece of jewelery my brother ever bought her, bracelet, necklace, rings, earrings—I know the story behind every piece. The ring on her right index a gift she had thrown at him the night he gave it to her, a consolation prize for missing yet another anniversary-but now she'll wear it as a badge of honor. Her makeup on just right, just enough to look presentable but not enough to earn any comments. Her golden brown, loose curls hanging ever so perfectly—she always looked so beautiful, almost like one of those old dolls if they were warm and inviting instead of creepy.

"Connor," I force the smallest of smiles and give a half nod looking back down at the podium and away from her. "Sarah hates when I call him that, she always has—thinks it's too impersonal for a sister to call her brother that especially at home—away from the job. But as he would tell you, there is no real away from the job. There's so much that can be said about him," so why can't I seem to find the words now? "Most people who didn't know him well thought that he was kind of an asshole, those who did know him well knew he was." I look back up to the twenty or so dead looks I've been getting since I walked into the church. "But to those who knew him the best would tell you that he was a really amazing man—honestly."

I can't help but let out this snort laced chuckle as I nod and run my hand through my hair once more. Eyes moving once again back out into the crowd, dozens of dead eyes just staring at me with a mixture of pity and loathing. It didn't matter to me much, most of them were here out of duty which meant they didn't care for him, didn't know him.

My eyes grazing over Sarah once more before finding Kenzi who sits next to her, eyes on the floor as she sit just close enough to the grieving widow to her let her know she is there.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't stand up here and read the Hallmark line of bullshit-I just can't." I sort of shrug and glance over them all once again. "I'm normally good at speeches and playing whatever roll I'm assigned but-I just can't now. I'm standing here and I'm supposed to say something touching and maybe say something that is the perfect mixture of sweet and funny that makes everyone get teary and smile or even laugh but I can't."

My own fingers intertwine atop of the podium platform, eyes focusing in on the thin black microphone which is positioned just perfectly. I can see out of the corer of my eyes two ushers getting frigidity-I suppose they are thinking I will cause a scene.

For the first time I look over to my left and see his closed coffin, the semi-hidden, over sized picture of his face positioned beside it.

"I'm sorry, really I didn't want to speak but Sarah told me I had to and then I've spent hours trying to come up with something adequate to say but nothing came to mind. Even this morning and the whole ride I tried to write something that would be acceptable but all I can think about is this one memory I have of him. It was month after we put Cassidy's killer away and I had just fallen apart," I clear my throat finally tearing my eyes away from his casket. "Well one night I stopped feeling sorry for myself just long enough to remember that I was supposed to be taking care of my little sister, so I force myself out of bed and go to check on her but instead of finding some sleeping girl I hear her going on and on about this boy she likes and this stupid dance that is coming up and it's just probably the most feminine moment my sister has ever had or will ever have but I remember peeking into her room and seeing him just sitting there on the bed eating ice cream out of a container while having this ridiculous discussion about some dance and boy. And I mean he was really paying attention and talking to her like he understood what the hell she was talking about."

I clear my throat and draw a deep breath through my nose before looking up and out into the crowd, I can't bring myself to look at the front pew though-I just can't.

"I-I just can't get that image out of my head for some reason." head tilting to the left again to stare at a closed casket that no one really knows exactly why it has to be closed—well no one other than me and Kenzi. "Lachlan-Connor-he was the biggest, toughest, meanest, crudest asshole you could meet but he also had the biggest heart and there were only a few rare moments when he showed that-I was lucky enough to be there to see them, maybe not all of them but quite a few." I swallow back the lump in my throat and blink back tears, eyes finally falling on Sarah. "I'm sorry I couldn't play my part this time." my words a broken whisper filled with a meaning only she will understand.

I step away from the podium, down the two steps before walking down the middle isle as fast as a respectable walk will allow me to. No one says anything, no one comes after me and I don't want them to, I just want to be alone. Stepping through the heavy wooden doors making my escape I'm greeted by a near blinding sun but I don't mind—gives me an excuse for these tears that refuse to go away.

"Well that wasn't the worst speech I've ever heard," my attention quickly turning to my right looking over my shoulder at the sound of Bo's voice as she emerges from behind the doors. "But it was close."

"What are you doing here?"

"I like to crash funerals. Some people write, others race cars, I on the other hand do this."

"You shouldn't be here." I say flatly turning away from her and walking the three steps forward to stop just before the first stair.

"There wasn't as many people as I thought." her tone softening, near sympathetic as all traces of playfulness seem to vanish just as quickly as she appeared.

"Lachlan wasn't very well known," against my better judgment I look back at her this time actually taking a look at her rather than just acknowledging she was here. She's wearing her sunglasses again—should have worn mine, then I wouldn't be relying on the sun as an excuse. "Or very well liked."

"If they only knew he died a hero."

"A hero?" I snort and shake my head as my eyes slowly drift away from her.

"He died trying to catch a monster. His death is what made it possible to save you and ultimately catch Rainer. They might not make a movie about it but I think it was pretty heroic."

"Ultimately?" another snort with another nod as I feel a smirk coming on.

"I get that you're in a lot of pain right now, physically and emotionally-"

"Oh, do you?"

"Yes," she says so softly its almost a whisper but it doesn't matter how softly she speaks I can still hear the traces of pain lacing her every word, see it in every careful movement she makes. "You might want to be alone Lauren but you're not."

"How do you have any idea what I am?" I turn expecting to find her still by the door but instead she is right next to me now.

"I know the loneliness of being alone and I know the loneliness of being surrounded by people yet never being able to say a thing to them. I know what it's like to hold onto fears so tightly it feels like you're suffocating but you tell yourself its better than the pain of having to say them aloud, to even admit them to yourself because if you do then it makes them real. I know the feeling of being lost and feeling angry at the world because of it." she reaches out, her thumb ever so gently brushing away a tear from my cheek that I hadn't even realized escaped. "I'll be here," she runs her thumb over the spot once more while flashing the gentlest of smiles before pulling her hand away. "If you need me."

* * *

_**Lachlan Household—1:49 p.m.**_

"Exactly how many of those do you need to shove down your throat before you can make an appearance?" she asks while placing a handful of plates into the sink next to me before reaching over to turn the bottle in front of me so she can read the label. "Vodka and vicodine, this type of thing big in Montreal now, hm?"

"It's a funeral Sarah, everyone is drinking." I keep my eyes on the counter top, the sound of water telling me she isn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

"Is everyone else doing a Lindsey Lohan impression too?"

"I haven't made a scene."

"No," she scrunches her nose and shakes her head while placing a plate on the drying rack never once looking over at me. "Though I'm not exactly sure what you would call your eulogy. Or the fact you refused to participate in his burial, it's tradition."

"I'm sorry I didn't toss a handful of dirt on his grave." I try to make it sound genuine but it just comes out condescending. "I just figured the four guys with shovels would take care of it for me." the comment leaves my mouth before I can stop it and for a split second I contemplate making an actual attempt at a real apology but the little snort she lets out erases any chance of that happening.

"Did you even say a prayer for him?"

"Oh God." I chuckle turning around to face her but she still refuses to look up from her dishes. "Really? We're going to do this now?"

"I just asked you a question Lauren."

"No Sarah, I didn't have time to follow a silly little tradition I was a little busy with actual important-"

"It is imporant!" she yells throwing the plate into the sink so hard it shatters. "You are entitled to your own feelings," her voice returning to its previous volume though it's far harsher now, her hands squeezing the ledge of the sink so hard her knuckles are turning white. Still though she refuses to look at me. "But while you stand here in my house just hours after I buried my husband, give me the common decency to not insult my faith. A faith that was your brother's and a faith that will be your niece or nephew's." she turns her head so I can't see her use the back of her hand to wipe escaping tears away. "For how many days did he lay in the morgue Lauren? How many hours, forty eight? Seventy two? Over a hundred?" she looks over at me, tear filled eyes meeting my own. "You're telling me in over a hundred hours you couldn't take five minutes to pray for his soul? You couldn't take five minutes of your precious time to call a priest? Who are you?"

"I—I'm sorry." I clear my throat trying to hide the fact my voice is breaking, the feeling of tears quickly approaching.

"You're sorry? That's what you have to say to me? You're sorry?" she stands up straight, turning to face me completely and for a brief moment, the same moment I see a flash of anger surge through her eyes I'm almost sure she is going to slap me. Instead she chuckles through a disgusted smirk. "I'm sorry, for a moment I forgot who I was talking to, Lauren the forever suffering martyr of Vancouver." a cold, hardy laugh as she turns back to her sink. "I'm so sick of your bullshit Lauren."

"You have no idea what I've been through."

"Oh please Lauren, tell me how much you have suffered. Tell me how bad you have it one more time, Lord knows I never grow tired of this song and dance. Or no, no you're the martyr today so just go off in the corner and hide away but just far enough so that everyone knows exactly where you are. Jesus Lauren, it's always about you."

"That is bullshit Sarah and you know it." my own voice beginning to rise.

"You always have to make sure everyone knows just how much pain you are in but you will never say it aloud because if you did it would be over and no one would care anymore. Your version of suffering in silence." another disgust filled laugh. "It doesn't make you noble it makes you selfish. Today is supposed to be about your brother but you pull your shit up there in front of everyone to see, you refuses to follow traditions and leave the burial early? You stomp into the house and hide in the kitchen where everyone can stumble upon you. Not to mention the-"

"The what?" I snap, a stray tear slipping from the corners of my eye.

"You think it's appropriate to bring her here? To bring your mark here of all places?"

"I didn't ask her to come."

"You didn't tell her to leave either."

"Well excuse me for needing someone."

"Oh yes, you need her so much." she hits the faucet off and spins back around to face me. "Tell me how much you need her while you've been in here self medicating while the poor girl is out there trying to blend into the background not to disturb anyone. Just waiting in the wings for you to snap your fingers so she can come running to your beck and call."

"She's a poor girl now when just a moment ago she was a mark?"

"She is a mark but I can still feel sorry for her, sorry that she actually thinks you might need her. You don't need anyone Lauren, you never have that's why you thrive in CSIS and why Kenzi won't."

"What is going on in here?" we both turn to the sound of Kenzi's voice, the faint squeak of the kitchen door as she emerges.

"Your sister seems to be confused, she thinks this is the Lauren Show and not her brother's funeral." I watch as she wipes her hands on her dress before walking passed Kenzi. "Perhaps you can remind her which it is."

"Don't say it." I warn as I notice her eyes falling onto the bottle behind me. "I'm not hiding, I'm not looking for sympathy nor am I playing a martyr." my words harsher than intended, Sarah's words striking a deeper cord then I would have expected.

"Pffft. Lauren if this was back in the day you'd crucify yourself before anyone else had the chance to even notice you." she snorts shaking her head and walking passed me to grab the bottle. "You've always had a need to play the martyr, just normally you have better timing."

"The both of you can go to hell." I snap heading for the door, jaw clenched trying to hold threatening tears at bay.

"Why are you doing this?" her question stopping me dead in my tracks, hand already on the door but I find myself frozen.

I honestly don't know.

"I'm not doing anything." I whisper letting my head fall forward, eyes on the toes of my shoes.

"Is it really that easy for you to just pretend none of this exists?"

"I know it exists, that's the problem."

"You aren't the only one who lost someone."

"Spare me," slowly I turn back to face her, my heart falling into my stomach. Tears streaming down her little swollen cheeks as she just stares at me in confusion almost as if she doesn't recognize the woman standing in front of her-honestly I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. "Kenzi."

"I've tried to push passed what's been happening lately and I keep telling myself that this new you is just because of what's happened but it's not. This is who you are, it's who you've always been and that's okay Lauren really. Be you, do what you do but don't expect everyone to wait around on pins and needles for you to remember we exist."

"I—I know you exist."

"Do you?" her question so simple it's almost idiotic to ask but the weight in my chest tells me different. "I lost him too. Sarah lost her husband, the father of her child and she should be able to lean on you, I should be able to lean on you but instead of pulling together and taking care of each other we're having to clean up after you."

"You don't have to do anything for me."

"You're wrong, we do because **we** didn't forget who our family is."

"I haven't forgotten."

"Then show it!" she yells, another wave of tears making their way down her cheeks. "Show that you remember we are real people with feelings. Show that you remember you are a real person with I don't know-a heart. Show something other then this ice queen standing in front of me."

"You have no idea what I went through-"

"Because you won't tell me! I've tried over and over again to get you to say something. Anything and all I get is a fuck-off look, sometimes you don't even bother to acknowledge me. I know that I've always needed you and that I've derailed you're perfect life more than once but," she stops herself looking away from me as she draws in a deep breath. "I know you don't need me the way I need you which is why-"

"Kenzi-please don't."

"I'm not going to be coming back with you."

"Wh-what?"

"When we go back to Montreal, when all is said and done and you come back here, back home I'm going to stay. Hale said I could stay with him until I find my own place and now that Bo has moved into her own place it's ideal, who knows maybe I won't even move out when the time comes."

"You—you want to move in with him?"

"Yes-maybe-no. No I don't want to move in with him yet but I don't have much of a choice."

"Okay," I can't help but to let out a laugh, hand running through my hair as I feel whatever hurt I had quickly turning into anger. "After all the shit you said about me and Bo and here you are choosing a mark over your career, over your family."

"He was never a mark."

"I have a folder that says different." I could swear everything around us vanishes in this moment. Vanishes at those seven words, an admittance which was one I had never intended to make.

Hale Santiago was Hale, he was the great guy who pretty much any mother and father would be glad their daughter brought home. He was sweet and charming and protective without being a macho asshole. He made my sister happy, he is her first love and had been a good friend to me through everything. He was also the man who had blew the whistle on everything so the odds of dirt turning up on him were a trillion to one thus I never thought in a million years I would ever have to tell her the truth of it all.

But that's the thing, I didn't actually **have** to tell her.

She stands there gripping the bottle so tight I'm expecting it to shatter any moment. Her tears no longer falling but rather just glossing over her eyes, I doubt she can see me clearly. There is this look on her face that I've never seen before and had I been someone other than who I am now, I would be scared because of that.

This look of disbelief not only at my words but at the fact I had lied to her this whole time. This look of hurt in my betrayal of her trust. This look of pain that I would intentionally use this to hurt her now of all times. This look of fear because she knows that if he ever found out he would leave her, it wouldn't matter how many times she would tell him she didn't know, it would all be over in an instant.

She takes my words as a sort of threat and though in this moment I can't honestly justify them to myself let alone her , threat or not I know that I've just damaged our relationship more than I had ever thought possible.

And for what?

* * *

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_**Thursday**_

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_**Montreal/Hawthorn Park—10:30 a.m.**_

"Stalking is illegal in all ten provinces." I huff out as Bo runs up along side of me and starts to keep my pace.

"Really? I thought it was just frowned upon in Manitoba." she gives a little chuckle while trying not to sound so out of breath.

"Maybe, but we're in Quebec so." I can't help but chuckle myself as she glaces over with that smirk that calls me a smart-ass without actually having to saying it.

"Are we? Hm, geography was never my best subject in school."

"You had a best subject?"

"You're lucky you have nice ass otherwise I might take offense to that."

"What exactly does the condition of my ass have to do with whether or not you take offense to my comment?"

"If you didn't then it wouldn't distract me thus I would be significantly more upset about a comment in which one might take offense to. But since I do have such an exquisite view I am sufficiently calmed."

"What?" I can't help but actually laugh as I look over at her who is grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh yeah, I just Lauren-ed your ass."

"You what?" I can't help but to continue to laugh as she nudges me with her elbow.

"You heard me, I Lauren-ed you."

"What is that? Wait-do I want to know what that is?"

"You have a tendency for when you want to make a point to slow your words, lower your tone, add in big words, add in extra words just to make the sentence last longer and make sure every single point is touched to make sure the person KNOWS you are right."

"I do not need people to KNOW when I'm right."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You so do."

"I so don't."

"Really?" she looks over at me, eyebrows raised slightly with this little smirk. "You're just going to lie like this? Out in public and everything?"

"I'm not lying, I don't **need** to be right." my words shaky as I try to keep from laughing.

"And I don't look good in leather pants and a size too small halter top."

"So you finally admit you buy your shirts a size too small?"

"I plead the fifth."

"That doesn't apply here."

"Leave me alone I'm suffering from lack of oxygen."

"Such a baby." my words accompanied by a soft laugh as I quickly slow my pace to a stop, reaching out and touching her arm to bring her to one as well. "A big out of shape baby apparently."

"Excuse me, I think you mean big sexy baby." she gives a little chuckle before her features scrunch as mine do as well. "That was an odd sentence."

"English not your best subject either?" my left brow raising as I bite my tongue trying to keep from smirking at the expression she is giving me.

"You know-"

"I'm an asshole?"

"No."

"No?"

"Well yeah you can be." she gives the smallest of chuckles before titling her head to right just slightly, lips curving into a warm smile. "But I was going to say it's really good to see you smile again."

"I'm not smiling." I know I sound a little more defensive than need be but she seems to just shrug it off this time.

"I hate to break it to you Grumpy but you're about to need a new name. I'm partial to Smiley."

"I'm partial to punching."

"You know you can be very aggressive." she wiggles her eyebrows and flashes me a smirk, it's a smirk I don't know very well but it's not one I couldn't forget. Flashes of memories that seem so long ago coming to the forefront of my mind. Memories of her and that devilishly enchanting smirk right before she kisses me—right before she slips between my thighs. "You okay Doctor, you're blushing."

"I'm," I let out a nervous laugh as I look down at her feet. "I'm not blushing."

"Mm-hm."

"I'm not." I say a little firmer as I look up, eyes unintentionally locking with her's.

"Okay."

"Okay?" a smile once again pulling at the corners of my lips.

"Yeah, okay." she gives this supposedly innocent shrug before randomly shoving my left shoulder. "Tag, you're it." before I can ask what she thinks she is doing I find myself staring at her back as she takes off running. If she wouldn't run at full speed she would be able to last twice as long without tiring herself out but then again Bo Dennis isn't much for pacing herself.

"Votre rythme." I laugh out, hands giving her sides a quick squeeze before I run passed her.

"No idea what you just said." she lets out a labored laugh catching back up to me, I warned her.

"Vous ne parlez pas français?" I shake my head and nod to our left at the up coming curve out onto the street. "Surprenant."

"Still no idea."

"Forty-six percent of Vancouver speak English as a first language, only eighteen point six percent of the population in Montreal have English as a first language."

"Your point?"

"How did you end up being one of those eighteen point six percent?"

"Just lucky I guess."

"Has it ever hindered you, I've been here quite a few times and I've been in more than one situation where people were less than pleased I approached them in English."

"Whose asking?" she looks over at me, our pace gradually slowing.

"I'm sorry I don't understand."

"Is this Lauren who likes to share my bed and playful banter from time to time or is this Agent Lauren who likes to interrogate people?" I don't speak as our jog turns into a relaxed walk, it was a good question honestly I just didn't want to admit that. "You know pretty much everything about me, do you really need to ask?"

"I know things yes," I sigh and nod, looking away from her and into the windows of the stores we pass. "But there isn't really stories behind them. Somethings I would know more about you if I read your dating profile others I know more about then probably you remember. I can't change that Bo."

"Yeah, I know."

"It doesn't mean that I know everything about you nor does it mean I don't want to hear you tell them to me."

"I don't know why, I just was never taught and I suppose being a cop I should have but considering how I became a cop." she trails off, the overall tone of her voice, of her body language changing. "It's been an issue once or twice but nothing that ever made me want to run out and get to know Rosetta Stone on a personal level, you know?"

"Fair enough."

"You okay?" she asks, voice suddenly full of concern. I just stare at her for a moment before following her line of sight down to my lower stomach where my right hand is resting.

"Ye—yeah." I sigh out, honestly I'm hurting quite a bit now, so much so I hadn't even realized my hand was there. I can feel the tops of my cheeks pinkening under the intense scrutiny of her concerned gaze but I shrug it off and pretend it isn't there, I'm getting used to that.

"You can tell me if you aren't."

"I know."

"So you just don't want to."

"I can't."

"Right. Sorry sometimes I forget my place, just a mark." she snorts while beginning to look away from me and I can't help but feel a sense of shame. Reaching out I grab her hand pulling her back to face me.

"I can't talk about it with you Bo because I can't fully accept it myself yet."

"I'm not the poster child for sharing my feelings and hugging things out or whatever those touchy feely people do but I think it might do you some good. I know the toll it's taking on your and Kenzi's relationship, you and Sarah's too."

"God." I can't help the irritated snort that follows my comment as I let go of her hand.

"Don't get upset Kenzi talks to Hale who talks to Dyson and he talks to me."

"About me?" another snort as I start walking again.

"About Kenzi mostly, you just happened to be attached."

"Sarah too apparently."

"Actually I um," she gives this awkward nervous laugh and I know whatever is coming at the end of this sentence can't be good. "Exchanged numbers."

"Excuse me?" I can't help but snap.

"The day of-we got to talking and I left my card if she ever needed anything. She ended up texting me on Tuesday asking about something of Lachlan's and we just ended up having a conversation."

"She texted you? She asked you to get something of my brother's? That's freaking-that's great."

"I would have told you sooner Lauren it's just that you've kinda been avoiding human contact, I mean I haven't even seen you since we got back on Monday night."

"I needed time."

"Right, which is why this is the first time you've seen or heard from me."

"Let's," I glance over to find her already looking at me. "Let's just—change the subject yeah?"

"Sure."

I was sort of expecting her to laugh this off and bring up another topic or something the way she normally does but instead she shoves her hands in her pockets and falls silent. I had been cherishing silence these past few days given my only two options were silence or screaming matching with Kenzi but now—now it just made me feel like shit.

I suppose it's a good thing, I deserve to feel like shit.

Block after block toward my apartment we walk in silence, if we weren't so close to one another we could have passed for strangers which is ironic since at the root of it all the sad truth was that we really are strangers.

"Don't know why I ever thought I would find you laid out in bed." my eyes widen in surprise at the sound of the familiar voice as we near the front door to my building. "I was so ready to play nurse." she chuckles, shaking her head in fake disappointment as she pulls off her aviator sunglasses and walks over from her car toward us.

"Well you certainly have a type don't you Doctor Lewis." Bo grumbles under her breath.

"Aife this is-"

"Detective Dennis." she gives me this death glare before extending a hand to Bo who of course doesn't take it. "I won't bite kitten, promise." I earn my second death glare in a matter of seconds but none the less Bo finally shakes her hand.

"I'm so sorry about Lachlan." her attention shifting back to me, genuineness lacing her words for once—a rare occasion. "I tried to make it back in time but getting out of Afghanistan is like trying to take a trick from a crack whore itching for a fix." her chuckle is short and by the way she is watching me she is checking for something.

"Afghanistan?" Bo asks innocently enough but it's her way to divert attention away from me.

"Yeah, I'm CSIS. I was doing a little wet work." she smirks and gives a little wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Jesus, Aife." I sigh out shaking my head in disbelief.

"Oh relax kiddo, the cats out of the bag already isn't it? Detective Dennis is I'm sure well acquainted with the inner workings of CSIS agents." another smirk as there is this little glisten to her eyes, she knows something-shit. "Besides if she says anything we'll just have to kill her." a cold laugh trailing the end of her sentence that earns her a dirty look from myself.

"Did you just threaten me?"

"Bo," my hand instinctively goes to her arm before I even realize what I am doing. My eyes are locked with Bo's but I know beyond a doubt Aife's eyes are on my hand. I think of pulling it back quickly but then it would seem like I'm trying to hide something further raising her suspicions. I'm so screwed. "It was nice running into."

"Yeah, glad we _**ran**_ into each other." she manages to get out through a tightened jaw, eyes shifting between mine and Aife. "See you around." she just sort of walks out of my embrace and I want to stop her, to go after her but there is just one problem-Aife.

"She's got a nice ass, pictures didn't do it justice."

"Yeah, it's fine." I force a smile as I turn back to face her.

"Fine? Really?"

"Yes Aife, she has a nice ass and is extremely good in bed." I pause and watch the smug smirk wash over her face, her eyes darkening as she thinks she has me. Sorry, I'm not that far off of my game. "Evony is a better kisser though." my words flat and though it's a lie I manage to make it convincing enough to earn a genuine smirk.

"Oh thank God!" she lets out, throwing her head back with an eye roll before reaching over and putting her arm around my shoulders. "I thought we were about to have a serious issue."

"Nope," I wrap my arm around her waist and manage to keep this disgustingly fake smile firmly on my lips as we start toward the entrance of my building. "No issue at all."

Other than the fact that I am royally screwed.

* * *

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_**Friday**_

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_**Outside of Station—9:45 a.m.**_

"Now I got tattoos on my body, psycho bitches in my lobby."

"What?" I look over at her throwing the gear into park completely sure I haven't heard her right. But instead of an actual answer she just leans forward hitting the volume on the radio, turning it so loud passing officers take notice and I'm sure my speakers will blow any moment.

"Come on girl," she gives this laugh and sort of holds up her hands while '_dancing_' to the song the best she can in the seat. "Oh relax party pooper." she leans forward again popping open my glove-compartment and pulling out my newly filled bottle of pain killers. "Don't mind do you?" she doesn't wait for an answer as she already has the bottle open and is downing two of them. "This is some good shit, Jackson from I.A. Got some other shit like two months ago after some bullshit injury and his shit didn't even calm my ass, but these bad boys." she shakes the bottle before tossing them back into the glove-compartment. "Ready?" she wiggles her eyebrows and steps out of the car.

I feel like asking her what the point is of asking me a question if she isn't going to wait for an answer but what's the point?

I also feel like asking her where she's been the passed eight months that has made her this erratic but again what was no point.

Walking around the car I try and keep my back straight and ignore all of the eyes on us. I unlike her am not taking pleasure in the attention.

She has this bounce to her step almost as if she was still listening to music, although if she is popping pain killers the way I think she is I"m sure she is hearing music of some kind. She's got the heeled boots on, with the expensive black woman's pant suit complete with the aviator sunglasses—she bought into the whole image of federal officers the way my brother did. In fact she was really just the female version of my brother if he was overly sexual and didn't have the pesky catholic guilt looming in the background of his mind to keep him in check from time to time.

She pulls the door open for me and I flash a little smile, I'm not stupid I know she is watching me just as much as she is watching everyone else. Play nice and I'll get through this-technically I have to play a cold-hearted bitch and I'll be fine. If I play nice I might actually raise alarms.

Aife Balzac other than being highly eccentric could be highly violent and had an odd obsession with taking badges from officers. Only for her she didn't stop at the lower level law enforcement she has as of count three badges of fellow CSIS agents. She wasn't necessarily favored but she was a necessary evil. Most CSIS didn't care about ending careers until it came to our own—she on the other hand wasn't phased. If I remember correctly the first Agent's badge she took was that of her boyfriend of two years.

Stepping out of the elevator I take a breath looking down at myself, no longer was I in comfortable gymshoes and scrubs blending into the atmosphere. Nope, now it was heeled, shiny shoes, expensive slacks and a buttoned up navy shirt though I skipped the jacket it just never suited me much. Reading glasses traded in for a smaller, sleek pair of aviators. Stethoscope and ID key card on a lanyard replaced by a badge and a glock twenty-two.

Shit, I miss my fake life.

The sound of our shoes clicking against the floor grasps my attention for a mere moment before it's stolen by the abrupt silence that comes over the entire homicide unit. Fourteen people completely fall silent in a matter of a second, twenty-eight eyes firmly on us with a hint of fear in every single one them.

Well on the plus side they weren't pitying me anymore.

* * *

_**Interview Room 2—10:02 a.m.**_

"Do you understand your rights?"

"I do."

"Do you understand that you are not required to speak to me without an attorney present?"

"I do."

"Okay." I look from a fearful yet scowling Tamsin down to the digital recorder on the table in between us. "Tell me what happened the night that Rainer was killed."

"You were here. I wrote a report."

"We are more interested in the specifics of what happened while you and Detective Thornwood were on surveillance duty."

"I wrote a report."

"I know you wrote a report, we have your report but honestly it is lacking quite a bit of detail."

"I—my report is accurate."

"Detective," I warn as I watch her slowly unravel in front of me. "It is in your best interest to be honest with me."

"We were following him, Dyson thought he had spotted us so we fell back by six cars and-"

"Six cars? Do you honestly think that you could adequately tail him with that much distance, that much obstructions between you?"

"We—thought we had been compromised."

"We? Just a minute ago you said Detective Thornwood thought you two had been spotted."

"It—he did but I agreed."

"Did you?" my brow raises as she looks away from me yet again. "If in fact you thought you were compromised then why didn't you call it in and hand the subject over to your backup which was only two streets away from where you said you had been compromised and ultimately lost him?"

"We thought we could-"

"Why don't you explain why neither you nor your partner called it in when you lost Rainer?"

"I told you we thought we could pick him back up."

"It took you sixty-seven minutes to call it in, surely you cannot think that this was the right call."

"I—if we are going to keep talking about this then I want a lawyer."

"Okay." I nod. "Then why don't we move onto something else?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Why don't you explain your relationship to one Fitzpatrick McCorrigan?"

* * *

_**Interview Room 2—11:27 a.m.**_

"Do you understand you rights?"

"Yeah and I understand I can have a lawyer present and all of that."

"Are you sure?" my brow raises, a smirk threatening to emerge as I stare at Evony who is grinning from ear to ear.

"Am I sure I understand my rights? Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay."

"So what did you do to my detectives? Tam, Hale, Walker, Burke they all looked like they got worked over, I know you can be rough but-what?"

"We don't need to talk."

"We don't?"

"We both know you're only in here as a technicality, a way to protect you from anyone finding out you've rolled over for us."

"Don't sound so bitter about it." she leans back against the chair, left leg folding over the right as she folds her hands in her lap. "Without me you would have nothing."

"Is that what you think?" I can't help but laugh. Leaning forward I take the recorder in my hand, a flick of my thumb and it's off, something which obviously worries Evony. "Let's get something straight here, everything you're giving me I could get myself I just don't want too. I am tired of this place, of these ridiculous officers of yours and all of the drama that goes on here. I don't need you Evony, you need me. I make the decision whether or not to take your amenity deal. I decide whether or not you can keep your seat here. But most of all I decide whether or not you are ending up in a jail somewhere. You think what happens to guys who touch children is bad? It's nothing compared to what happens to terrorists."

"You know I'm not a terrorist." her smile almost completely gone now. If Evony Morgan could actually feel panic I think this would be it.

"I have pages upon pages of bank transfers that tell me different. I have traces to your offshore accounts."

"I am not a terrorist Lauren."

"I know and that's why you're still sitting here pretending you still have a say in what happens to you." this time it's me who is smirking as I lean back in my seat tossing the recorder on the table with a loud clank as it hits. "It sucks to find out you're only human doesn't it? That you aren't untouchable, that you aren't some super being, just some regular Joe like everyone else."

"You answer first." an icy smirk emerging to match my own.

"How about we just sit in silence until I give you **permission **to leave?"

* * *

_**Interview Room 2—12:07 p.m.**_

"Detective Thornwood do you understand you're rights and that you are not required to speak to me without an attorney present?" I'm so sick of having to say this today.

"I don't need an attorney."

"I never said you did, in fact it would make my life easier over all if you didn't want one."

"I do aim to please."

"What would you like to tell me surrounding the events and your actions the night of Rainer's death?"

"I wrote up a nice little report Doc, that should be enough."

"It's not."

"I fucked up."

"Twice in twenty-six hours, two colossal mistakes and that's all you have to say?"

"Does it make you feel better when you use big words all the time, flash around that fancy college degree of yours?"

"Does answering a question with another question actually work on anyone who isn't a working member of this department?"

"You have such a dislike for us working folk."

"That's not why I don't like you Dyson. I just don't like the way you do things, the way you behave and most of all your lack of knowledge and care for the law."

"You have no idea who I am."

"I think I have a better picture of you than you realize."

"I am all ears." he smirks and tilts his head ever so slightly to the right almost as if he thinks he is baiting me into something.

"You want a therapy session call Doctor Phil," I draw in a deep breath as a shot of pain rips through my stomach.

I should have take a dose of my pills when Aife was jumping on the party bus—God I wish I knew what she was doing out there. With my luck and knowing her she is probably on someone's desk reenacting a scene from Coyote Ugly—God that was a horrible movie—not worse than Glitter—wait he's talking.

Quick pretend you've been listening.

"Detective, explain you reasoning for not calling in when you realized you lost Rainer?"

"Its in my report Lauren, come on." he laughs and shakes his head as if I'm boring him. "The facts are there if I say anything other than that then it just sounds like excuses and we all know excuses fall to deaf ears."

"I—what?" my train of thought comes to a screeching halt. "What did you say?"

"Which part?" his right eyebrow raises as he leans forward, elbows on the table. "You know, I would say it looks like you've seen a ghost doctor but then again we both know that is impossible."

"A—and wh—why is that?" my heart is racing so hard it hurts almost as much as my healing cut. This had to be a coincidence—this HAS to be.

"You can't see ghosts." as soon as I hear him start '_you'_, I finish the rest of the sentence with him.

His lips curve into a smirk that isn't quite his own but yet so familiar. The two of us in union as we lean back into our seats just staring into each others' eyes

* * *

_**Outside of Interview Room 2—1:01 p.m.**_

"You ready to go?" I ask as friendly as I can as I step out from the room pulling the door close behind myself, I had finished with Dyson over ten minutes ago but I had needed a moment to breathe away from everyone. I'm praying she didn't notice. "I'm starving."

"Sorry sexy but you got one more."

"I thought I was doing Rutherford tomorrow?"

"Not Rutherford."

"Then who?"

"Dennis." she smiles as she steps aside waves Bo into the room like some kind of flight attendant.

"I wasn't aware I was even doing her."

"Wow, better choice of words there kiddo." she pats me on the arm before waving me in as well.

Taking a breath through my nose as I slowly walk into the room, eyes finding Bo's but surprisingly she doesn't look as pissed off as I was expecting her to be. She honestly looks pretty calm, even flashes me a little soft smile as I take a seat across from her and place the recorder in my hand on the table.

"I'm really so-"

"Alright," we both turn to the door where Aife is walking in, hands giving a single clap as she spoke. "Lets get this part started."

"You're joining me?" I try not to sound irritated-or worried.

"Yeah, figured a little threesome would be a nice change of pace for you." she folds her arms across her chest as she leans against the wall. "Don't worry though babe, still your show." a devilish smile accompanied by a wink, something that earns a scoff from Bo but I can't respond to that, not now.

"Okay." I force a smile before turning back to Bo who is no longer softly smiling at me but rather glaring. This is going to be a long day. A sigh escaping as I flick the recorder on and then lean back into my seat. "Detective Bo Dennis do you understand that this interview is being recorded, that you have the right to have an attorney here and every other right you have as not only a police officer but a citizen?"

"Oh yeah, well aware." she pulls her phone out of her pocket and wiggles it at me. "While you've been making my friends cry all morning I've been reading up. Gotta love Google."

"Okay." I can't help but let out a little laugh, a quick bite to my tongue to keep from smiling any further than I already am. "Given you understand your rights can you tell me about the events surrounding the shooting of one Rainer-?"

"No, no, no." Aife interjects waving her hands. "Her shooting is justified, backed up by one of our most decorated agents. Not to mention the reports from both of you were flawless." she walks over to us, smile turning into a smirk and I know trouble is coming I'm just not sure what it is exactly. Standing next to me, her hands flat on the table as she leans forward toward Bo. "Let's talk about one James Collins."

_'Oh Shit...oh shit...oh shit...' _that's all I can think as I feel my heart begin to speed up, a heat rushing in my cheeks and I know I need to not react but Bo looks so terrified as her eyes shift between Aife and myself.

"I—I um, he was a suspect in the onset of our investigation."

"Do you know he's dead?"

"What?" the color from Bo's cheeks leaves as her eyes widen, shit Dyson didn't tell her or she's been taking acting lessons from Meryl Streep in her free time.

"Okay, we're going to do this. I love when they do this," Aife asks with the biggest smirk, her hands resting on my shoulders as she takes several steps back so she is behind me. "Don't you love when they do this shit?" she leans down looking me in my eyes as I tilt my head back to keep some kind of distance between us. "I don't know what you mean. I swear these aren't my pants officer I don't know how the drugs got in there. I promise officer these aren't mine, I don't know how they got there honest." she says mockingly before walking around to my other side and taking a seat on the table, her feet up on the arm of my chair forcing me to lean to my left.

"I'm sorry am I here to answer questions or serve as your punching bag so you can show off for Lauren?" Bo barks, only feeding into Aife's little game.

"In a hurry to get behind bars Bo? It's not like OINB, the only sex you're gonna be getting is involuntary by some woman twice your age and six times your weight. That's a big bitch."

"What?" Bo looks from her to me. "Is she for real?"

"Alright Sluty-Barbie, you wanna get real lets get real. I got a report full of big words and lab results and ballistic testings that say one James Collins was shot three times from your service weapon. Oddly enough I got just as many reports telling me the three slugs found in Rainer were from Dyson's gun. Now I know things played out in the woods the way you say cause agent Lewis, a decorated, highly regarded agent and friend backs you up. Saw you take the shots not to mention the fucked up duo of Ditzy-Barbie and Scruffy-Ken weren't even on the Dixon Farm at the time."

"Your point?"

"My point is I could give a shit if you popped the sick fuck with a potato gun, under different circumstances I'd throw you a party. But under these circumstances I got a dead fuck in the morgue with three slugs from your gun that somehow you aren't carrying anymore."

"I—um,"

"I. Um. Huh. Real fucking wordsmith we got here." she stands up from the table and pats me on the shoulder. "Like I said this is your rodeo girl, just wanted to play a bit." she winks at me again as she walks back over the the wall by the door resuming her previous stance.

Left hand running through my hair as I take a few subtle breaths, my mind running over everything to do with James Collins. The shooting, the conversation with Dyson in the morgue, everything I wrote in my report that apparently Aife is calling bullshit on.

_'You forgot something little sister,'_ I look up at the sound of Lachlan's voice and there he is leaning against the wall behind Bo smiling at me. _'You obviously did if Aife is on the trail.'_

He's right, I must have missed something...but what?

_'You're taking too long, they're both starting to notice something is up.'_

He's right yet again, I need to say something and fast. But what could I possibly say at this point? Aife isn't fishing she has proof of some kind not to mention I have to be careful just how lenient I am with Bo. Perhaps I could ask Bo if she wants a lawyer again—no it's too soon it would raise a flag.

"Thank you Agent Balzac." I give her a smile and I see the hint of surprise in her eyes, in her expression but she just returns my smile, she's more than eager to see where this will go.

_'Very nice Lauren she almost believes you,' _he says and I want to tell him to shut up but then again me yelling at the hallucination of my dead brother wouldn't exactly do much good for me or Bo.

I look over at Bo and push the recorder closer to her just to buy myself another few seconds to think. She's looking at me helpless and terrified, begging me for help but I can't—not the way she thinks or wants.

God I hope she understands this is for her benefit.

"Detective Dennis, please describe the exact nature of yours and Detective Thornwood's relationship. Please be precise and include the last two sexual encounters you two have had."

"Lauren." my name leaves her lips as a whisper, a heartbroken one at that.

"Do you need me to repeat the question Detective?"

"No." this time it's not a whisper but rather a low sort of growl, hurt quickly turning to anger.

"Then please describe the nature of the relationship and your last two sexual encounters with him."

_'Oh no, I think you hurt her feelings...' _his voice rings in my ears but my eyes stay locked with Bo's never once leaving, my own features turning to stone as I slowly remember who I really am, who I am when I'm not buying into the fantasy of this life I have been living.

I hear her speaking and a part of me is listening not because I want to hear all about her and Dyson's escapades but because I need to so I can continue this ruse for Aife's benefit but there is another part of me, the larger part that can't shake the stomach turning feeling that Bo is beyond fucked.

That I am beyond fucked.


	11. Breathe Part 2

**A.N.** Three quick points, first thank you to everyone reading and commenting love the feedback. Second a HUGE thank you to the one and only InevitablyWicked19 for writing two incredible scenes along with a portion of the love scene. It's amazing how much you've grown as a writer and it's truly made me want to step up my own game. Thank you for allowing me to use your talents here.

Third: This chapter is **rated M** for a **semi-explicit** sex scene.

Pokie.

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_**Chapter Eleven: Breathe Part. 2**_

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**The Club House—4:14 p.m.**_

"Get out Lauren!" I yell when I don't hear the front door slam shut.

"Jesus Bo just wait a damn minute!"

"Get out of my house!" I repeat myself spinning around to see her turn the corner into the living room.

"I didn't have a choice."

"You did!"

"I didn't!"

"You may not have had a choice in questioning me but you had a choice not to come at me like a rabid pitbull on steroids."

"Bo," she snorts a chuckle and shakes her head at me like I'm some child. "That is nothing compared to what I do on a day to day basis."

"Nothing compared to what you do on a day to day basis?" I nod and can't help but laugh. "I'm sorry I thought you worked for the Canadian government not Nazi Germany." I start to turn my back to her. "My bad, keep going at this rate and you'll be taking old Adof's spot any day now."

"Don't be so childish."

"Childish?" I find myself spinning right back around and taking three steps toward her all in a one motion. "You want to call me childish? I'm not the one whose been hiding in my room playing the violin for myself while making sure to push away every single person who loves them because my ego is hurt."

"That's what you think this is about? My ego?"

"Yeah, I do. I think that when it comes down to it your pride is hurt because the big, bad CSIS Agent got-"

"Finish that sentence." she dares me, her features tightening as I watch the tears slowly build in the corners of her eyes.

"It doesn't matter what I think Lauren, I'm just a mark remember."

"Oh please stop with that." she blurts out looking away from me, trying to blink the tears away. "I'm so sick of it, you know damn well that-"

"That what Lauren? That I'm something more than that to you?" my eyes narrow as I tighten my fists to remind myself I'm angry not hurt—well at least that's what I need her to believe. "Excuse me if after a few hours of being accused of murder and having my sex life put on display by you I'm not feeling the warm and tingleies."

"I didn't have a choice Bo, she already knows something is off and if I would have gone easy on you then should would have known—"

"Known what?! That it isn't your life's mission to rip every ounce of feeling and respect I have left to shreds for shits and giggles?"

"That I love you! That I am protecting you!"

"You have a real fucked up way of showing it." I clear my throat as I turn back around, idly glancing out of the window as I try and push my own tears back.

"She already knows everything Bo, she knows about you and Dyson and all about you and these cases I didn't make you say anything she didn't already know. If I was to soft ball it she would have known what I was doing, that I was trying to protect you, trying to intentionally hide things."

"What about you Lauren?" slowly turning back around to face her against my better judgment. "Did you know when the last time I was with him? Did you know how I fucked him, how long it was? Did you know what I did after? Did you?"

"N—no of course not."

"That is my personal life Lauren. That is mine just like everything with you is mine, if I have to stand under oath and say I was with him and what I did then so be it but I shouldn't have to sit there and describe every detail to you because you wanna prove to your little druggie friend how you don't care about me. I shouldn't have to tell you every little detail because you wanna hurt in some sick, self masochistic deal you got going on."

"That wasn't what it was about."

"No?"

"No. The relationship between you two is well known and it was a routine question, not to mention it gave you a little thing called reasonable doubt. Your lawyer if you were smart enough to ask for one would love me. All he would have to suggest is that one night after a sexual rendezvous the two of your weapons got switched and given your department's level of stupidity it wouldn't be that far out of the realm of possibility." she barks at me, eyes narrowing and I know she's pissed now. No longer will she play the wounded martyr but rather the vicious attacker—I'm getting to know her game now.

"That's right I forgot, Lauren has an answer for everything."

"Why won't you believe that I am trying to help you?"

"Maybe because you just spent the last three hours burying me. You came after me Lauren, you used personal information about me that I gave you. You didn't let up once. You weren't even questioning me at the end you were being a cop and burying your suspect." I reach out cupping her cheek, my features scrunching as I try to hold back my tears. "You were protecting yourself."

"If I am without a badge or in jail how I can I help you?"

"You can't help me if you give them an iron clad case either." I pull my hand away as she goes to grab it.

"Where is your anger at him?" she snaps after a moment of silence, almost as if she is grasping at straws, desperate to make me out to be the bad guy. Normally I am—but not today, I won't take the blame for this just so she can feel justified in ripping me to pieces.

"What?"

"He gave you the wrong gun Bo."

"God, you will stop at nothing will you?" I snort and chuckle as I start taking steps away from her. "He made a mistake, he was trying to help me."

"How can you still be so naive after everything?"

"I don't know, I guess your friend was right earlier. I'm just stupid like that."

"I've never once said you were stupid Bo."

"No you just treat me like it."

"I can't talk to you when you're like this," she snorts and runs her hand through her hair. My lips parting to shoot back another low blow but I notice the way her hand is shaking.

"You're hooked on them aren't you?"

"What?" her eyes widen slightly, pitch rising.

"You're a fucking wreck." I can't help the cold chuckle that follows my words, hands running over my face.

"I'm fine." she bites back, a hint of fear in her eyes that I doubt she even knows is there now.

"Yeah, looks like it." pointlessly biting my bottom lip I give another shake of my head realizing just how fucked she is, how fucked I am-how fucked we both are.

* * *

_**The Club House—9:48 p.m.**_

Sitting on the couch, I turn on the screen on my phone once again… no messages or calls from her. We haven't spoken since this afternoon after the interrogation—well if you can call that an interrogation, that was bullshit, plain and simple.

"I'm done, if she wants to talk, she'll call". I throw the phone to the other side of the couch; although I know I'm probably gonna check it in about 5 minutes. No, to hell with that, I'm still mad—but what if she wants to explain things? No, Bo, focus!

I am brought back from my thoughts by the sound of someone knocking on my door. I walk up to open it and find Hale standing there with a six pack of beer on his hand.

"I thought about bringing you an olive branch but this is way better in my opinion". He gives me his usual silly grin.

"That better be Bud Light or else I'm shutting this door in your face". My voice playful, but he knew deep down I was serious, I'm not so much a beer kind of person, the only one I genuinely liked was Bud Light.

"Of course, I ain't no fool". He lifts up the six pack so I can see the branding on it. 'Bud Light', I guess I won't be slamming the door in his face after all.

"Come on in". I say and head back to the couch; he can close the door after himself.

"I uh… I thought the crack dealer's house was 2 blocks down the street". He says as he walks in, a little awe in his voice, although not the good kind of awe. "I love what you've done with the place; did the crack heads help you with the decoration?"

"Of course, who did you think I hired as interior designers". I grin as I resume my position on the couch, taking my phone and turning on the screen—still nothing. I sigh in disappointment and watch him as he takes a seat next to me. "What brings you here?"

"Well…" he takes out one beer, opens it and offers it to me. I take it and he takes out one for himself. "We haven't really talked in a while, I know things have been a little off between us ever since we found out about Cassidy and Cane and all that, so I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing with everything".

"I know, I'm sorry things got weird, but after we found out about Cassidy, I found out about Lauren, and then Lachlan's death, Lauren's kidnapping, it all got so crazy". Ain't that the truth, all the shit that happened was worse than freaking a soap opera. "But I'm glad you're here, I've missed you".

"I've missed you too, especially the Bo ass shape print on my couch". He gives me his toothy smile and we clink our bottles. "How is Lauren doing?"

"I… I honestly don't know". The smile I had on quickly fading. "I've tried to help her through this, but she completely shut down, she doesn't want to talk about anything that happened". I feel so helpless about that, I wanted to help her, let her know it was okay to open up, let it all out, but I guess that was just my silly hope, she's really not the type to share her feelings.

"It's understandable, I mean, I can't imagine wanting to relive some psycho trying to make a religious example out of me, and then his brother dying—yeah not something easy to overcome and open up about". His smile also fading away, he was there when we got Lachlan down from that barn with his body completely mutilated, I don't think either of us will ever get that image out of our heads.

"How is Kenzi with all of this? I know this has been hard on her too". Poor girl. First, losing her big brother, and then almost losing her big sister, her two role models in life. The two people she thought were indestructible and untouchable.

"Kenzi is… well she's Kenzi. She's trying to be strong but I know she's hurting so much". He looks down to the bottle in his hands, he seems defeated, I guess he feels just like I feel with Lauren. Both wanting to help the people we love and both unable to do it. "She knows I'm there for her, but she's keeping it inside. I guess that even though she and Lauren are very different, they have that in common".

"Other than that you two seem really great together. Do I hear wedding bells?" I try to lighten the mood with an innocent joke, but I'm also curious. After all, he's like a brother to me and I want him to be happy. Kenzi seems to accomplish that.

"Yeah we're… we're good. No wedding bells though… yet". His tony shy all of the sudden and he looks down again, if I'm not mistaken I think I catch him blushing a little. Maybe he's been thinking about it. Although his expression becomes sad pretty quickly. "I've just been having a feeling lately that she's hiding something. Sometimes she just disappears for hours and then gives me lame excuses".

"Do you think there's someone else? Kenzi doesn't seem like the type who cheats". That girl can be wild and a little crazy, but from what I've seen she's an honorable, straight forward person. That and that she seems to really love Hale. No, no way she's cheating.

"No, I don't think that's what it is. It's just a weird feeling I have, and I can't really talk to her right now, she has enough on her plate for me to be accusing her of hiding things". He looks up at me and there is something in his eyes, like a pleading for hope, anything I can give him to soothe his worries. But I don't have anything to say that will do that—I wish I did.

"Well whatever it is I'm sure you two will work it out. And I'm here for you if you need to talk". I place my hand on his forearm and give it a gentle squeeze, something to let him know that everything will be okay and that if not, I will be here for him, just like he's been there for me so many times before.

"I know, Bo. Thanks". He places his hand over mine and smiles softly. We have never been the kind of friends that go on and on about our feelings, but we had good honest talks when we needed to. "How are you doing after the shooting?"

"It's weird, I mean, I've never killed anyone before and I feel bad about that, but then I think of who he was and what he did to all those kids and I can't help but to feel relief that he won't be hurting anyone anymore". I feel so conflicted. I want to feel bad about killing a person, but that asshole wasn't really a person, he was a fucking monster who kidnapped and drowned kids and he was convinced that what he was doing was God's will, who the fuck can think that?

"I can't say I know how you feel, but I can say that you did a good thing". He gives me an understanding smile and that's all that's needed between us, I'm not gonna say we communicated telepathically or anything, but sometimes words weren't needed.

"I just wished I had done it sooner, if I had run faster maybe I would've gotten there on time and Zachy would be—he would be alive…" I feel tears in my eyes. I really think I could've saved him if I had been faster. He would be with his mom and his grandmother right now if I had, but I was too late.

"Bo, stop it, it's not your fault, you did everything you could to try and save him". He takes my hand looks at me in the eyes, serious but gentle expression on his face. "It was that sicko's fault and no one else's. I'm sure Zachy's and the other kid's families are grateful to you, they might have lost their little ones, but you made sure no other kids will have to suffer through that".

"I guess you're right". I wipe away the few tears that managed to escape and smile at him, I know it's not the greatest smile ever, but I want him to know that his words did help. "Thank you for coming to the palace to check up on me". He can't help but chuckle at my definition of 'palace'.

"Speaking of that, I'm gonna help you redecorate this shithole, it's about to collapse with you inside, and you could use some paint on the—I want to say walls but I'm not sure if those qualify". He points to the giant hole on the 'wall' behind me and just shakes his head in disbelief that I'm living here.

"Smartass". I slap his arm not so gently—he can take it. "It's a shithole, but at least it's my shithole". We both laugh again and keep drinking our beers. Man I missed this, the two of us just hanging out and talking about whatever stupid thing we could think of.

Well at least things with Hale are good now, and as glad as I am because of that, I can't help but think about Lauren, about how things are between us because what scares me the most is that… I don't know how they are. I don't know where we stand and I don't know what will happen.

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_**Sunday**_

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_**First Floor-Station Gym-5:27 p.m.**_

"Never pictured you to be the type to like rap."

"It has it's moments." I sigh out not bothering to look at her as she approaches not that I needed to, only talked to her once but I'd recognize her voice anywhere, let's just say she made an impression.

"Not surprised to see me?"

"Nope." I'm actually more surprised I can hear her with the music this loud. I know she is expecting me to stop and give her my attention, maybe crumble at her presence but instead I just keep tossing jabs at the heavy-bag aka my new best friend.

"You don't care for me much do you?"

"About as much as I'd care to catch an STD."

"Oh shit," she laughs out. "Baby girl's got some claws, I wouldn't have expected that with the way you bent over for Lauren the other day. But lets be honest, who wouldn't right?"

"Do you want something?"

"Actually," she lets out this overly large sigh while clapping her hands together one time and walking over to my line of sight. "I've come to offer you a get out of jail free card."

"Really? And what would you like in exchange, my first born son? Perhaps my soul?" holding the left side of the bag I bring my knee into it twice before returning to my jabs.

"No silly," she takes a breath, eyes glancing over my body the way Dyson tends to do and I can't help but to scoff at it. "Why don't you just tell me about you and Lauren's relationship."

"What about it?"

"You know." she wiggles her eyebrows and bite her bottom lips as her eyes narrow in on me. "Give me all the juicy details."

"You know Aife if you're really that hard up, the internet has free porn."

"You can't possibly be this stupid can you?"

"I guess I am." my right hook landing harder than intended, a jolt of pain surging through my wrist but I refuse to show her I'm hurt so I take a step back, left hand resting on the bag as I finally give her my full attention. "Are we done?"

"Not even close Detective Dennis."

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_**Lexington Commons—10:28 p.m.**_

"I didn't think you would come." her tone soft with a matching smile, her eyes nervously dancing over my face the way only she can do and still make it look sexy.

"Y—yeah I didn't think I was going to either."

"I'm glad you did though." her soft smile widening a bit and it takes a conscious effort not to return it, I might not be ratting her out to Aife but I'm not about to play a round of googly eyes either. "Come in?" she steps aside and for a moment I contemplate telling her I'd prefer to stay out here but then I remember that any number of people could happen to stumble upon us, neighbors, Aife, some other CSIS buddies of hers since there seems to be a convention going on. "Bag or suspect?"

"What?" I glance back as her as she closes the door.

"Your hand, you keep fidgeting with it."

"Maybe I'm nervous."

"You smile and occasionally laugh when you're nervous, not fidget with your hand."

"Report tell you that?" a petty smirk coating my lips when I see her eye twitch at the comment.

"Nope, my keen sense of observation actually." she flashes a sarcastic smirk of her own as she sits down at the kitchen island facing out toward the living room and I just hang back reminding myself to be cautious. "You can relax, we have the place to ourselves. Kenz is with Hale and Aife is out doing something or more likely someone."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I ask trying to not think about the fact that we're alone and what normally ends up happening when we are.

"Right." she sort of raises her eyebrows and gets that mad scientist look she gets from time to time, God it's adorable-NO BAD BO! "Well I was snooping around and found something that's equally interesting as it is puzzling."

"That doesn't sound good." I sigh and walk to the edge of the island glancing down at her mini mountains of paperwork.

"It doesn't look like Aife was here initially for us-"

"Playing a little fast and lose with the term us aren't ya?" my brow raising.

"She was bound here from over a month ago, I have pages of her back story. I'm a part of her cover, that wouldn't happen if she was here for me." she side steps my comment while handing me a stack of five or six papers. "From what I can tell is that she was coming here for my brother."

"Lachlan?" I toss the papers back down. "Why?"

"I don't know I mean nothing says anything definitive. The only thing I can see is his hand in the Collins autopsy report."

"What was his hand in that?" I ask against my better judgment.

"It looks like he fixed my report. I mean I signed off on it, I called it justifiable homicide. I didn't over inflate it, I did a passing report so why Lachlan felt the need to fix it I can't figure out."

"He was trying to protect us." my words a whisper as my eyes fall back down to the papers. "He knew they'd see through it so in order to try and protect you he tampered with it."

"He could be so stupid." she snorts and shakes her head to look away from me. "But there is something that grabbed CSIS' attention before this, this just gave them an excuse to come in."

"You can't find anything in this mess?"

"No. Nothing that would warrant sending Aife in."

"What about before this assignment? Where were you two at?"

"I—Bo I'm sorry but I can't tell you that."

"Alright." I groan out, running my hands over my face knowing I'm fucked, she's pulled me in just like I knew she would. "So, Aife is what, your boss?" I ask heading over to the fridge and pulling out two Bud-Lights, a brief smirk tugging at my lips.

"No, she's been an agent about three years longer than me. She should actually be my boss but—thank you." she cuts herself off taking the bottle from me and then a generous sip. "She can never manage to pass the pysch evaluation."

"Ooooh. Big shocker there." I snort while bringing the bottle to my lips and taking a seat across from her. "So let me see if my pea brain can get this straight. Aife was coming here for Lachlan on the grounds of this autopsy report that you fudged and he bedazzled it to cover for you. Now Lachlan isn't an issue any more but she is still here why?" I take a quick sip, readying to answer my own question. "Because they know about us being intimate and Lachlan wouldn't touch a report for me but for you he would."

"Mm-hm." she nods taking a drink.

"The only thing I don't get is how she knows about the shooting. I mean you and Lachlan obviously didn't say anything. Hale and Kezni wouldn't and neither would Tamsin out of loyalty to Dyson and he wouldn't say shit because it draws attention to himself."

"Interesting you didn't say you were the reason."

"Let's not." my tone hardening. "Evony wouldn't risk her life raft on a last ditch attempt to fuck me over so I don't know."

"It might not have been anyone, they could have just been looking at every paper filed with such scrutiny that they just caught something."

"Maybe, I do seem have that shitty of luck as of late." shaking my head and taking another drink while my free hand idly pushes papers around skimming for anything of interest. Could be my horrible luck but this nagging feeling in the back of my mind tells me there's more too it. More to them coming after me, more to their interest in Lachlan and a lot more to their interest in Lauren.

"So what now? I mean Dyson isn't about to come out and say anytime soon he's the one who shot Collins not to mention he shouldn't have to. He was trying to help me and is gonna end up getting fucked for it."

"I wouldn't be so sure helping was his agenda."

"Lauren." I warn.

"I know you don't want to hear this about him Bo but just-if my word holds anything with you anymore then just heed my warning that I don't believe his intention was fully noble."

"No one's intention lately seems to be fully noble."

"Fine." she huffs out and takes a serious drink letting an awkward silence come over us.

"I think I better go." I slide off of the stool taking one last serious drink of my own before putting it down on the island-top. "Thank you." I force the smallest of smiles I can muster as I just look at her staring down at the papers, she looks so heartbroken but I refuse to crawl back to her begging for attention. I'm not a doormat.

"Bo," the broken plea of my name stops me from moving further, my heart starting to race. "I really screwed up."

"I can't right now." I cut her off before she can go on, almost immediately I see the pain wash over her delicate features and I can't help the twinge of guilt that tugs at me. "It's okay," I lie. "I'm just glad you're safe." she scrunches her pain riddled features in confusion. "I was terrified when you were—I was terrified and I just remember thinking I would do anything, give anything just for you to be back safe and sound. Yeah, my life is falling apart, I'll probably be in jail by this time next week and I just keep getting my feelings ran over by the Lauren-Express but if this is the price I gotta pay for you being alive then so be it."

"Bo," she nearly jumps off of the stool coming toward me. "You don't have to-"

"Lauren in order to save you I was willing to sell everyone out."

"Bo-"

"Stop giving me that kicked puppy dog look," I sigh out. "I'm just—I was willing to sell everyone including myself out if it got help to save you. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad I'm telling you this because I guess I need to remind myself that I was willing to do that. I was willing to take the consequences then and now isn't any different. You're doing your job and you should." I reach out going to touch her cheek but stop mid-way, pulling my hand back. "Keep searching for answers and let me know if you need anything."

"Where are you going?"

"I need to handle something and then home for a nice, long, hot bath." another soft smile forced as I give a little nod, apparently what serves as a goodbye for us now a days.

* * *

_**The Dal—11:45 p.m.**_

"What do you know?" I snort taking the last two steps down into Trick's '_living room'_ to find Dyson sitting on the couch drinking a beer and Trick sitting across from him doing the same, the pair sharing a laugh over something.

"Bo."

"Please spare me the growling whispers of my name, I had to suffer through them enough during sex." I snap quickly putting an end to his lazy effort to stand at my entrance. "You're a real son of a bitch you know." my attention shifting over to Trick.

"Something wrong?" he asks leaning forward placing his drink on the table.

"It was you wasn't it?"

"Me what?"

"The name James Collins ring any bells grandpa?" my voice raising.

"I heard about that, but I don't have any ties to CSIS Bo. If you want any answers regarding that maybe you should ask-"

"Lauren? Yeah, I have only thing is she is under investigation for it too."

"Hm." he tries not to smile while glancing over at Dyson. "You sure this isn't another one of her games, I know she has a problem with lying."

"You're unbelievable." I can't help but laugh at the whole situation. "You'd have me go to jail for a crime I didn't commit just to teach me a lesson? Really?"

"I didn't do anything Bo." he says with this smug face and I can't believe it, can't believe how easily he's sold me out because I dared to want a life outside of his own.

"You can go to hell Trick, you and this whole fucking joke of a department." I don't bother to wait for a comment from him as I am already making my way up the stairs.

Every step I take further away from Trick and toward the exit I feel like it's a step further away from who I used to be, further away from the only life I know.

I didn't mean to come here, I didn't want to come here. In fact this right here was exactly what I had been trying to avoid for days, weeks, hell maybe even months. But somewhere between trying to clear my mind of all things Lauren related I couldn't shake our conversation.

Pieces of a puzzle that seem to be missing-maybe Lauren is right and the pieces aren't missing, I'm just ignoring them. Let's face it this wouldn't be the first time or the first situation where I saw what I wanted to see.

"Bo, wait up." I look over my shoulder as I see his smugly smirking face jogging toward me but instead of stopping I continue through the packed parking-lot toward my car. "Do I even want to know what kind of trouble you've gotten up to tonight?" an interesting question for someone who seems to know everything before I do.

"Nothing exciting." I glance up at him, anger slowly beginning to fade. "No trouble at all actually tonight unless you count a quick visit with Lauren, woman's middle name should be trouble."

"Is it that time of the week already?"

"What?" I chuckle pulling my keys from my pocket.

"Yeah, that time of the week that she fucks you for info on everyone."

"Jesus Dyson," my near innocent chuckle turning to a snort. "Leave it already." I shoot a halfhearted glare as we reach my car, instinctively reaching out to open the door only to find his hand resting on the window letting me know we aren't done yet.

"She's just leading ya on, she's never gonna love you."

"Who said anything about love?" I scoff at his words, his smug smirk that tells me he thinks he knows everything about the situation-about me. "And you don't know that." my eyebrow raising as I yank the car door open giving him no choice but to remove his hand.

"Why did you come here tonight?" his nostrils flaring and his voice doing that low growl thing he tends to do when upset.

"Why I came here has nothing to do with you Dyson, I didn't even know you'd be here."

"You know I won't wait around like some puppy dog until she leaves."

"Dyson, by the time she leaves I will be most likely sitting in a jail cell somewhere braiding some woman's back hair."

"My point exactly, she's the one putting you there and you're still willing-"

"Let me stop you there," my hand going to his chest to guide him away from me so I can get into my car but he isn't budging. "The reason this whole mess is even an issue is because of you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

"Fucking perfect." he laughs cruelly looking away from me and up at a pair of teenagers passing by us, guess he doesn't want a scene. "That the shit the Doc feeding you now?"

"No, actually I managed to have that thought all on my own." I flash my best _'fuck-you' _smirk. "Please move."

"I helped you."

"You fucked me."

"Yeah, more times then bitch or have you forgotten."

"We're done."my eyes narrowing as I take a step back holding out my hand toward the bar. "Move away from my car."

"That pussy must be amazing." he snorts, shaking his head as he walks by me.

"Spectacular." I say through the biggest smirk as I slide into my seat, it was petty but I refused to let him get the last word. "Dick." I mumble to myself as I reach out to pull the door closed but surprising even myself I'm sliding right back out of the car. "You fucked me Dyson and I can't figure out why." the words coming out like word-vomit.

"Go back to government whore—if she isn't busy with that new agent or Evony." he calls over his shoulder, the whole time I'm walking toward him.

"Fuck you." I snap, hands on his shoulder blades shoving him hard enough to earn a half stumble before he's spinning around to face me. "She doesn't know shit about you and this Dyson other than what you let slip or hell told her. I've been loyal to you, defending your sorry ass to her."

"You should have for what I did for you!" he yells stepping into me but I don't step back this time, I'm too pissed now, too tired of his shit.

"You killed that guy."

"He shot at me! The whole reason I was there was getting your gun back because you were stupid enough to lose it. Then you were stupid enough to fuck the bitch who is using it to put you away for it."

"Did I swap your gun for mine too-or was that Lauren?"

"W—what?" his voice lowers, eyes narrowing in on me as I glare up at him.

"The three rounds I put into Rainer are a match for your gun not mine." tongue darting out to moisten my lips as I look out toward the street. "I gave you your gun back Dyson."

"Bo."

"That morning when you came to me in the gym, you handed me my gun and I gave yours back. We made small talk, you flirted with me and told me not to worry that you'd always be here for me. What happened?"

"I protected you."

"You went into my locker and switched our weapons!" my voice raising for the first time. "So what, was it an insurance policy against me saying anything to Lauren?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm so sure." I can't help but laugh at the situation, at the stupidity of myself while I turn my back to him heading for my car.

"Watch your back Bo."

"Yeah, you watch yours too." I call back to him as I slide back into my seat, pulling the door shut along with myself this time.

* * *

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_**Tuesday**_

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_**The Club House—6:17 a.m.**_

"Just once I'd like to come here and not be held at gun point."

"Hey." being as I'm still half asleep I can't help the goofy smile that takes over my face when I see her nervously smile at me. "Sorry." smile gradually turning to a smirk as I flick the safety on with my thumb and stick my weapon into the back of my shorts.

"Don't hate me." she gives an adorably apologetic smile as she hands me one of the two coffees she's been holding.

"Why would I hate you?" I chuckle while raising the cup to my lips.

"Am I interrupting?" Aife's head peeks in from around the corner and it takes a conscious effort not to reach for my gun again. "Whoa. Quite the shithole you got yourself." she sneaks passed Lauren and then pushes right passed me heading right for the living room, giving a quick glance back at me. "You normally wake up packing?"

"Oh yeah, go to sleep this way too." I bring the cup back up to my lips as I watch her start snooping, my free hand lazily waving Lauren in before resting on the door preparing to shut it.

"Must bring about some interesting foreplay, huh?"

"You have no idea." Lauren's quip causing her left brow to raise the way it tends to when she gets cocky, the rim of her cup resting on her lips trying to hide a smirk.

"Feisty this morning?" Aife tears her eyes away from the window to shoot Lauren a look that I can't really tell what it means, all of her expressions really seem to blend together.

"Would appear so," I notice the right side of her mouth starting to pull up as her cup of coffee does the same. "Must be atmosphere."

"Cute." Aife grins and starts walking away from the window further into the living room area, hand running along the back of my couch. "Crackhead chic do it for you now Lauren cause I knew a few places."

"I'm sorry am I missing something here?" I interrupt walking further into the living room area myself now as Agent Snoopy wanders farther into my apartment.

"Oh you tend to miss a lot Detective, but nothing particularly at the moment."

"Then why exactly are you standing in my home."

"We have an invite."

"No, Lauren has an invite."

"Yeah well from now on you should consider me and Lauren as one entity." she says looking up the narrow stairway to my bedroom. "You do know what entity means right?" her question coming through a smirk, eyes shifting onto me.

"Gee I don't know, it is a big word. Maybe I better get me one of them books that has all the words and their what-cha-ma-call-it's, just to make sure."

"Do you mind if I go take a look upstairs?"

"Actually I do mind."

"Why's that? I heard you're pretty fast and loose—when it comes to privacy."

"I'm so sure that's what you meant." I can't help but to chuckle, taking another drink of my coffee.

"Can we go now?" Lauren asks in her best unamused tone, eyes shifting between us.

"Can **we** go or we as in the two of you?" I can't help but tease.

"Yeah, we're good Agent Lewis." Aife's flat reply letting me know I've finally gotten to her, good. About damn time. "We'll be seeing you soon." her words supposed to be a threat I assume as she walks passed me with a glare.

"Looking forward to it." my smirk turning into a soft smile as Lauren manages to glance my way for a split second before being escorted out.

Walking over to the couch as I hear the click of the door I toss my gun on the cushion before plopping down beside it. It wasn't the best wake up call but at least I got coffee for it. A unintentional grin coming over my lips as I take another drink and bring my knees up my chest, bare feet slipping under the cushion my ass isn't currently occupying.

"What the-" I let out when I go to finish off what's left in my cup and my pinky brushes against something rough at the bottom. I bet it's a bomb, they've decided it would just be easier to kill me. Laughing to myself I lift the cup up and pull off the little object which seems to be a piece of paper folded several time.

Death threat?

Leaning over to my left I put the cup down on the floor and start to unwrap the little, yellow paper that has been folded a billion times-or six to be exact.

_' Hope you enjoyed your day off, interrogation at 8am_

_**DO NOT**-Ask for lawyer or I.A. Rep._

_**DO NOT**-Mention Evony (Anything said will be disregarded)_

_**DO NOT**-Drink after 6:30am, no bathroom breaks_

_**DO NOT**-Bring up Lachlan unless he is brought up by her._

_**DO**-Count the questions I ask you, #4/5/9/15 answer yes/true _

_**DO**-Continue to count the questions I ask you, #1/7/13 answer no/false_

_**DO**-Bite your tongue SUBTLY through entire interrogation, keeps facial expressions to a minimum._

_**DO**-Think of something sexual through entire polygraph, it will keep your heart-rate up and skew the results. _

_Lauren, '_

I can't help but reread the note for a second time, smile growing as I do.

Why does she make it so hard to stay pissed at her?

* * *

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_**Friday**_

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_**Dieu du Ciel—9:19 p.m.**_

Putting down the small glass on the bar I enjoy the burning feeling running down my throat. Nothing like tequila to end a shitty day. I know getting drunk is not the most responsible thing to do right now, but hey, I think I deserve to forget about things even if it is just for a little while. No one gives a shit about what I do or don't do anyway.

The ringtone on my phone catches my attention as the screen lights up. The first thing I see is her name. I swipe my finger across the screen to unlock it so I can read the message.

**Lauren: Hey, sexy. What are you up to? (9:19 p.m.) **_What the fuck? Is she drunk? I don't think she's ever called me that before._

**Me: Just relaxing with my boy Jose Cuervo. (9:19 p.m.) **_Although looks like she's beating me to it._

**Lauren: Oh, 'your' boy? Do I have to kick his ass for being all over you? (9:19 p.m.) **_Okay, she's definitely drunk. Why can't I help but to find her irresistibly cute and adorable?_

**Me: You really should, he's keeping me really good company at the moment. (9:20 p.m.) **_I guess there is nothing wrong with harmlessly flirting back. You really want to do this doctor? You're on._

**Lauren: Maybe I should go over there and make sure this boy of yours keeps his hands to himself ;) (9:21 p.m.) **_Oh, feisty I see. Alright. Let's see what you got, Lauren._

**Me: Oh I don't know. His hands are doing a pretty good job right now. Are you sure you can keep up? (9:21 p.m.) **_I can't help but to smirk at my reply. Even if we don't know each other very well, we've always been great at the playful banter, which eventually lead to flirting, which eventually lead to… I bite my lip at the though. Focus, Bo._

**Lauren: Are you sure YOU can keep up with what MY hands can do? (9:21 p.m.) **_And just like that I'm having some very non PG thoughts. She's good, I'm pleasantly surprised. But she still won't win._

**Me: I think there have been a couple of occasions where I showed you I could, in fact, if I remember correctly, you could even taste it afterwards. (9:23 p.m.) **_Let's see what you have to say to that doctor._

**Lauren: …. (9:23 p.m.) **_And just like that, I win. I pat myself on the back._

**Me: Cat got your tongue doctor or did I? ;) (9:23 p.m.) **_Well I have to say I didn't think I was in the mood for this but it's actually kinda fun, especially the winning part._

**Lauren: Well played is all I can say. Where are you? Can I come meet you? (9:23 p.m.) **_Okay I wasn't expecting that. I was all for some flirting over texts but I don't know, am I up for this? I don't even know what to say to her, things have been weird between us lately._

**Me: I'm at Dieu du Ciel. Do you know it? (9:23 p.m.) **_I can't help it, even if things are awkward I want to see her, talk to her, but more than anything, I want her to talk to me, to open up even if it is just a little bit._

**Lauren: Sure. I'll be there in about 15 minutes. I'll bring my hands ;) (9:23 p.m.) **_Nice, very persistent doctor._

I put the phone down and drink another shot. Just the one, I don't want to be drunk by the time Lauren gets here. I don't know what she's trying to do or why she wants to come see me. I guess I'll find out.

14 minutes later I see her taking a seat on the bar stool next to mine. I wait for her 'Hello' but a couple of minutes go by and nothing. Just when I'm about to turn to face her, I hear her sigh hard, look down, then back up and then turn to my direction.

"Hi, I'm Lauren Lewis. What's your name?" She offers me her hand, smiling softly but genuinely at me and I just stare at her with a confused look on my face.

"What are you—". She doesn't let me finish. She nods her head in a way that seems to be her asking me to go along with whatever she's doing. Okay, here goes nothing.

"Um… hi, Lauren. My name is Bo. Bo Dennis". I shake her hand like I would with any stranger that approached me at a bar. I have no idea what's going on.

"Very nice to meet you, Bo Dennis". She shakes my hand firmly and her smile widens. "Do you come here often?" A playful tone in her voice.

"Not really, I used to frequent another place but I'm not really welcomed there anymore". Wonder why, maybe because I was willing to throw everyone under the bus, even my grandfather.

"Sorry to hear that. Although this place is nice". She looks around. The place is rather empty tonight. "Are you from around here?"

"Yes, I grew up here". I try to smile at her, but I can only give her a forced smile. I just want to know what she's doing. "How about you?" I guess there's nothing wrong with asking.

"I grew up in Vancouver with my foster sister Kenzi". She keeps smiling at me like if all of this was normal.

"What brought you to Montreal then?" I know I shouldn't be going along with this but hey I'm getting to ask questions I couldn't or didn't have the chance before.

"Well I'm a CSIS agent. A case brought me here". Her smile fades away a little. I guess work is not the best subject to bring up between us. "And you? What do you do for a living?" She does her best to bring back her cute smile.

"I'm a detective at the local police department". Although not a very good one I might add.

"Oh wow, very nice. I bet you're kicking ass there". She chuckles and winks at me. Seriously, what the hell is going on?

"Lauren, what are you doing?" I need to know. These past few days she has barely wanted to talk to me and now all of the sudden she's asking me all these questions? This is not an interrogation room.

"I'm just trying to get to know this sexy brunette that I just met". She smirks and bites her lip in the cutest, sexiest way.

"I'm serious, why are you doing this?" My face completely serious now. "If this is all a joke to you then I'll just leave". I start to get off the bar stool, but she grabs my wrist and stops me.

"Wait, Bo, please wait". She lets go of my wrist and she has an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, it was a silly idea, I just wanted to try something fun and playful".

"Why?" I look at her in disbelief. What was she trying to accomplish with this?

"I'm trying, Bo. I'm trying not to be my usual closed off self". She looks down at the floor, ashamed, like she doesn't have the courage to face me. "I want to get to know you, really know you. I don't want us to be strangers that just have good chemistry, so I thought maybe if I came here and did all that silly act we could have a casual talk like two people who just met and learn basic things about each other". She begins to climb off the stool, not once looking up at me. "I'm sorry, it was stupid. Maybe I should go, let you enjoy the rest of your night".

"Wait". I mimic her movement just seconds ago and grab her wrist. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just didn't know how to react to you being so different. But I like your idea". After all, I did want to get to know her. This seemed like my chance to do that. "What would you like to drink?"

For the first time in minutes she meets my eyes and smiles. "I'll have a shot of tequila so I can join you in drinking the one you have left there and a strawberry daiquiri".

"Really?" I raise my eyebrow, without even trying to hide the fact that I'm surprised.

"Yes, really. Why does it surprise you?" She looks confused but she knows why I'm acting surprised.

"I don't know. I just figured you were the scotch drinking kind of woman. Never pictured you with a girly drink". I give her a little nudge on her shoulder and giggle. It's true, I never imagined Lauren Lewis, badass CSIS agent drinking something so girly.

"Well that can be the first fun fact you'll learn about me. I like girly drinks. And if they come with a slice of fruit and a tiny umbrella even better". She grins at me and runs her hand through her hair playfully. God she's so cute and sexy.

"Noted. Well I usually like tequila, and when it comes to beer I just like Bud Light. And with cocktails I like white Russian". I order our drinks and once her shot is served we clink our glasses and drink it.

"Okay so let's start with the basics. What's your favorite food?" She asks me just as she puts her glass down. Silly smile on her face.

"Pizza. Hands down. Yours?" I answer immediately, it was almost a reflex, nothing is better than pizza.

"Oh you would really get along with my sister, that girl is tiny but she can eat, you have no idea". She rolls her eyes smiling. And I know just how true it is, Kenzi could really win an eating competition. "My favorite food is sushi, I can't get enough of it".

"Seriously? You like raw fish?" I do a gag sound and frown. The concept of sushi always grossed me out.

"It's not all raw fish, Bo. There are many different kinds. I'll have to take you out for sushi sometime". She explains and winks. I don't know, it still doesn't sound yummy.

"Now wait a minute there, blondie. Who says I would agree to go out with you?" I say and stick my tongue out to her. Have to say this is the first truly playful interaction we've had, without there being any pending doom upon us.

"You're right. Pardon me milady". She takes a little apologetic and playful bow. "We'll just see how this date goes". She says and takes a sip of her 'girly drink'.

"Agreed". I take a sip of my own drink. "Okay, favorite color?"

"Blue. I like navy blue and light blue. You?" I guess I could've guessed since she does wear a lot of navy blue, and man does she look hot when she does.

"Well as you can see by my clothes…" I look down at my black shirt, leather jacket and leather pants. "I really like black".

"I can see that, not everyone can pull off leather the way you can". She looks up and down at me and I could swear that even though she's looking at my clothes, she's picturing me without them.

"It's a skill". I wink at her and take another sip. "Okay, your turn".

"Favorite movie?"

"The Bodyguard". She rolls her eyes at me and chuckles. "What? I'm a hopeless romantic, sue me". I stick my tongue out at her and poke her side. "What's yours?"

"Underworld. I really like vampires and werewolves". Now that's new. Lauren Lewis liking fictional creatures. Have to say I'm pleasantly surprised.

"Very nice. I like it too but I think Michael looks very weird when he turns". And it was true, his face looks so weirs and he always turns into a gray-ish color. I've never liked it much.

"What? You're crazy, he looks so badass". She snorts and gives me this disbelief look. I guess we disagree when it comes to the vampire/werewolf hybrid. I can't help but laugh softly, I never imagined having this conversation with her. But I'm loving it. Feels like I'm talking to the real Lauren and not CSIS agent Lauren.

"Let's agree on weird but badass. Deal?" I offer her my hand and she takes it. "Okay how about what do you like to do for fun?"

"You can't tell this to anyone but… I like to watch reality shows". I can see her blush and look down for just a second.

"You mean like The Bachelor and Real Housewives?" Okay now this is the surprise of the night. Doctor Lewis watching that kind of shows… priceless.

"Yes. It's my guilty pleasure, they're so stupid but very entertaining. But like I said, you can't tell anyone". She gives me a serious look but she can't help to laugh a little. I know she's serious though, if I go telling people about that I can imagine her kicking my ass.

"Yes ma'am, promise". I do my best military salute and laugh along with her.

"And you? What do you do for fun?" She asks and I can tell how genuinely interested she is to know.

"I like to watch movies or play video games. Same old, same old".

"Oh yes you would definitely love my sister, you two are like twins". She laughs and rolls her eyes again, she looks so cute when she does that. I guess that Kenzi and I could get along great if our circumstances were different. Maybe someday they will be.

"Well she sounds like she's awesome and has great taste".

"She is and she does". She nudges my forearm and sips her drink. A couple of seconds go by before she asks… "What's your favorite superhero?"

"Oh that's easy. Batman". I give her a 'you don't even need to ask' look. Batman is the best superhero, hands down.

"No way, Ironman is the best". Oh no, she did not just say that.

"What? His only superpower is that he's a super-millionaire". I snort in disbelief. Seriously doctor? Ironman?

"That's not true. He's also a genius. His suit might be the root of his power, but the real challenge was to design the suit. Many tried to do it and couldn't". Stupid suit. The guy is an ass. Period. But if I keep on disagreeing about her precious Ironman she might tackle me to the ground. Wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly nice evening, would we?

"Fine, fine, we'll agree to disagree". I take one more sip and look down at her drink which is almost full. I meet her eyes and raise my eyebrow. I wasn't gonna drink alone after all. She laughs and takes a sip. Okay now we can continue. "What kind of music do you like?"

"I don't have a specific genre that I like. I like all kinds of music. Although I would say that I enjoy alternative rock, like One Republic, Imagine Dragons, etc. You?" She gives me a little shrug.

"Well we finally agree on something, I'm exactly the same. My iPod has a lot of different music". Honestly, my iPod was a mess, I just had all my music in there, without categorizing it in any way. She'd probably freak out if she saw it.

"Glad that we're on the same page". She smiles wide at me. I love her smile, and even more when I'm the reason she's smiling. "Let's see what else… Are you a sports fan?"

"I am yes, I like football, soccer, tennis, basketball. You?" Honestly, I like pretty much anything except baseball, I don't know why, I just find it boring.

"I just like basketball, the other ones I find them boring. But with basketball I can get pretty violent". She looks at me with what I'm assuming it's her game face, but to me it's just her being adorable.

"Oh I have to see that sometime!" I can't hide my excitement. Lauren being all violent because her team is losing or because the refs are making bullshit calls? Tickets to that please!

"You will, just don't say I didn't warn you". She gives me her game face again, followed by a soft chuckle. I could listen to her laughing forever. "Okay your turn".

"What annoys you?" Nothing wrong with finding out what I should try not to do right?

"Messy people and people that are always late. I'm a little OCD about that. How about you?" Oh my God and she has been to the clubhouse. Well I'm glad that at least the second time I cleaned up my room a little.

"I don't like hypocrites. That really pisses me off. If you have something to say, say it to my face". I had always thought that way, but lately more than usual, after everything that's happened.

"Making a mental note then". She does a little gesture with her hand like she's writing something in the air and then takes her drink, lifting it to propose a toast. "To us and getting to know each other".

"To us and getting to know each other". I repeat after her with a big smile on my face. We really were getting to know each other, for the first time since we met, it wasn't forced, it wasn't because it was her job, it was real and natural. "I'm really glad we did this".

"Me too. I already feel like I know you a lot better. And really know you, because I want to and because you're telling me about yourself". She is smiling and blushing a little, but honestly all I needed to know that she was telling me the truth was look into her eyes. Her eyes gave her away every time. Even when she was working or doing an autopsy on one of those kids, she always looked so cold and professional, and I know that the things she's been through have made her like that, but her eyes have always been kind and warm. Her eyes have always showed her pain, her guilt. But in this case, they are showing her happiness.

"Thank you for doing this, wanting to get to know me. Not many people do". And it was true. Not even Dyson who I had a 'relationship' with. He never put an effort to get to know me, the real me. "Also thank you for sharing these things with me, it might be silly for most people but I think knowing little things like that is important".

"I absolutely agree". She puts down her drink and cups my cheek. She looks at me so lovingly with the softest of smiles. "I'm really trying, Bo".

"I know". I take her hand and kiss her palm. Such a simple gesture but it hopes it shows her how much I care about her. How I will always be there for her… how much I love her, even if I can't say it yet.

For a couple of seconds we just stare into each other's eyes, smiling stupidly like a couple of teenagers on their first date, and honestly that's just how we felt. Those butterflies you got when you knew someone you liked, liked you back. Our situation wasn't as simple as the one of two teenagers of course, but in the end it all came down to that. That rush feeling, your heart racing and that stupid smile that you just couldn't wipe off your face.

Before we know it we're inches away from each other. Our stupid smiles replaced by nervous ones. For a moment no one else exists but us. We both lean forward and make our lips meet in a slow, gentle kiss.

We had kissed many times before, some of them had been needy, some of them playful, but this one is different. This one is slow and patient. This one says 'Everything we'll be okay'.

As I feel her lips against mine, I also feel how much she's trying and how much she cares about me. As I find her tongue with mine, I also find hope for our future. As I pull back and meet her eyes, I see a new beginning for us.

* * *

_**The Club House—11:59 p.m.**_

"It's okay-I'm a doctor." she tries to say seriously but is helpless to hold back her laugh when I raise my brow.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask through my own chuckle falling face first onto my bed.

"I am just simply saying that," she trails off and I can't help but roll onto my back, looking up at her in curiosity. "I am a doctor and that I am more than capable of aiding you." her tone so playful I can't help but laugh, she has no idea what she is trying to say.

"Aiding me in what exactly Doctor Lewis?" lips fixing into a smirk as I prop myself up on my elbows.

"Well that—that's um." she lets out the most adorable laugh as the tops of her cheeks start to pinken. "Hm, I think I should go—pass out on your couch." she points behind herself toward the stairs needlessly, this odd mixture of bashfulness and arousal coming over her

"You can't go yet." I can hear my words lose all trace of playfulness, her adorable, tipsy smile turning into a concerned look. My eyes slowly run down over her body and my initial thought is nowhere to be found and all I'm left with is something that is bound to get us into trouble.

"Why?"

"Because Doctor," I lean up just a bit more, the heels of my feet resting on the fame of my bed keeping them propped up so that when I teasingly begin bringing my knees together and then apart it grips her attention. My eyes falling to her lips as she bite her bottom lip, a more than telling sign where her mind is going. "You talked quite a bit of shit earlier," I can't help but to bite my own lip when her eyes shift back up to my own, they're so dark and I know very well what that means. "It's time to back it up."

"Hm?" her eyebrow raising as she takes a single step toward me.

"You talked the talk, now you gotta walk the walk Lauren."

"You're going to need to be a bit more specific." she says taking another step, my knees ever so slightly grazing her stomach as they move back and forth.

"Oh I don't know, something about not being able to keep up and the skill of your hands tiny hands." lustful smirk taking over my lips as I maneuver myself up onto my hands rather than my elbows. "Or was that all talk?" I hesitate as my eyes drift down the curve of her breast, a third button on her shirt innocently coming undone at some point in our stumble up the stairs. "Do I need to call Mr. Cuervo back?"

I watch as her lips part, eyes meeting mine and I expect her to say something. But instead of words I find her hands grab my knees pushing them open. A devilish smirk coating her glistening lips as she skillfully slides in between my legs. Left knee on the mattress as her right grazes over my lower stomach until it's on the side of me, her left leg following suit. Her lower back resting against my thighs as she straddles my lower stomach, a soft sigh escaping her as the tip of my nose grazes her neck. It was an honest accident, collateral damage of being so close to her now but I'd sooner hand in my badge then lean back at this moment.

Teasingly I turn a innocent mistake into something more, moving up the inside of her neck to the base of her jaw. Gentle press of my lips earning the softest of moans from her but it's enough to bring my eyes to a close. Lips parting just enough to get a mere taste of her skin, the sweet smell of her body filling my nostrils only adding to a growing hunger in the pit of my stomach.

Her hands run through my hair stopping when they meet at the base of my neck as she tilts her head forward. A trail of soft kisses starting at my temple and ending at my jaw. Instinctively I let my head fall back expecting her to take advantage of the easy access but instead of attacking her favorite spot on my neck she surprises me for the hundredth time tonight.

My eyes fluttering open when I feel her soft lips slipping in between mine. Sucking my bottom lip just a bit before giving a little nibble. A moan catching in the back of my throat, not so much at what she is doing though God knows I could die from pleasure of that right now but it's more at the fact she has her eyes open, peering right into mine. It's as arousing as it is intimidating.

She looks down giving the false impression she's let her eyes close but I know better. Letting my own eyes wander down her body to search what has grasped her attention.

"Lauren-" my once whisper of concern turning to a sweet moan of her name as her hips ever so skillfully begin to rock against me.

Given our position I can't really feel her movements the way she can but oddly enough it doesn't matter much. The way she is teasingly moving her body, the way she is holding the back of my neck making sure I don't dare think of moving, the way she's watching herself nearly as intently as I am is certainly making my need for her grow with every soft moan accompanying every movement.

Tearing her eyes away from herself her lips crash into mine, beyond skillful tongue darting into my mouth hungrily looking to establish dominance. The delectably natural sweetness of her mouth—of her tongue mixing with the taste of her last fruity drink driving me insane.

Pulling my hands off of the mattress and grabbing her hips as we fall back, pushing her down just a bit so I can feel the full extent of her movements. A moan of pleasure mixing with a moan of frustration getting lost in the depths of our mouths.

Pulling my hands off of the mattress and grabbing her hips as we fall back, pushing her down just a bit. A moan of pleasure mixing with a moan of frustration getting lost in the depths of our mouths.

Our faces inches away, I expect her to take my lips with hers again, but she doesn't. She just gives me this devilish smile and starts lowering herself down my body, her hands going to the hem of my shirt, grazing her fingertips against my skin.

I can't help but moan, which makes her smirk, loving the reaction she's pulling from me. She helps me sit up a little so she can take off my shirt. Once it's off I immediately feel her talented tongue on my stomach, alternating between licking and biting my skin.

"Fuck, Lauren". I arch my back and grip the sheets. The effect this woman has on me is beyond belief. I feel her hands going up my stomach and reach my breasts, she starts massaging them over my bra and I sit up again and start removing it—I don't want her to stop what she's doing.

Once my bra is off I take both her hands and bring them back to my breasts. I encourage her to start massaging them, biting my lip when she meets my eyes.

Suddenly I feel her hands on my shoulders, pushing me back down as she lies on top of me. Hungry eyes looking into mine and hands still on my shoulders, keeping me in place.

"You wanted me to walk the walk, Bo?" Her voice filled with lust and dominance. "You'll see just how much I can do that". My eyes widen as her smirk does too.

She starts going down my body again as she places kisses on my jaw, than down to my collarbone, until she reaches my left breast. She meets my eyes before she flicks my hard nipple with her tongue. She does that a couple times before she starts tracing circles around it, and when my moans start getting louder I feel her take it into her mouth, sucking it hard, making me almost scream out.

"Oh my—fuck, Lauren!" She lets go of my nipple only to take it between her teeth. She repeats her movements with my right nipple, which ears her louder and louder moans from me. An occasional moan escaping from her as well when she feels what she's doing to me and how I'm responding to her.

After a few moments she sits up and makes me lift my hips so she can take my pants and panties off, she doesn't take long before tossing them on the floor. Once I'm completely naked before her, she licks her lips and looks at me with so much want, so much need, so much hunger to taste what's hers.

She lies down on top of me, biting my bottom lip while her hand trails down my body until it reaches my hot wet center. My lips part open but nothing except a moan comes out, a moan that she drowns in her mouth as she claims my lips with hers.

"You also talked quite a bit earlier, Bo. But right now…" She brings her wet fingers to her mouth and licks them clean, moaning at the taste… "You seem so quiet".

"God… Lau—Lauren". Her hand returning to her previous position as she starts teasing me, her fingers moving up and down, teasing my clit and then my entrance, slightly dipping one finger inside me, but never enough, driving me completely insane.

"So wet…" her hand going up again to my clit, tracing circles around it… "So swollen..." fingers going down again, teasing my entrance… "So ready…" Before I can protest for her teasing I feel her thrust two fingers inside me.

"Oh fuck! Yes! So… so fucking ready… for you" A little out of breath I can barely say the words. I spread my legs even wider for her and take her face with my hands and bring her close to me, crashing our lips together in an earth shattering kiss while she keeps thrusting in and out of me.

Fuck I love her hands.

My body trembles beneath her unlike I've ever felt before as she pulls me over the edge of pleasure. Eyes flying open as she keeps her rhythm despite the fact she already made me cum for her—if she keeps it up I'm going to finally learn the true meaning of multiples.

"P—please-please stop-" I tear my mouth away from her's, lips falling to her shoulder as her hungry mouth kisses down my jaw to the crook of my neck. "Stop." labored breaths mixing with painful moans of ecstasy. Hands clawing at the back of her shirt desperately wishing it was her soft skin rather than the cotton.

"Y—you want me to stop?" she whispers breathlessly in my ear, her two fingers slowing.

"God no." words not even completely out of my mouth when she thrusts her fingers so fast, so deep, so hard inside of me I go flying over the edge yet again.

Screaming her name so loud I'm sure it can be heard from outside, her shoulder taking the brunt of my bite as I feel the need to muffle myself. My body trembling so much I don't know if it will ever stop but it's okay, it doesn't matter now. All that matters is how good I feel, how good she feels atop of me—inside of me.

I don't know how long I lay beneath her as she idly switches between teasing my neck and just laying atop of me. It could be a minute or two—possibly three of four.

Finally regaining feeling and more importantly the use of my lower body I flip us, lips over her's keeping her from protesting—she did love being on top.

"One word," I smile down at her. "Epic."

"I guess we've cleared up exactly who has the better hands between me and your boy."

"Hm," smirk coating my lips as my eyes run over her face, she's so adorable when she's jealous even if it is over the silliest of things. "It's still a little close in my opinion."

"Well in that case perhaps you should call him and I'll just go." she starts to lean up and maybe it's all of the alcohol or the fact I still can't completely feel all of my extremities but for a moment I think she's really serious. "You've go to know I'm kidding." she mumbles out, this sheepish yet cocky smile coating her lips and all I can do is lean down and kiss her softly.

"I know that you're kidding." kind of but that's not really important. Smirking at my own stupidity of thinking she'd actually be upset I lean back down stealing yet another kiss and I would have gone for a third had the feeling of her phone going off not scared me.

"Shit." she breaths out reaching awkwardly in her pocket to pull out her phone and then dropping it on the bed. "Not mine." she smirks, reaching in the other pocket to pull out my phone.

"How did you get that?" I chuckle softly trying to remember when exactly she got a hold of it.

"Tiny hands plus ninja skills are a dangerous mixture." she smiles handing me my phone. Propping myself up on my right forearm I take it.

"It's Hale he says he wants me to come to the station it's important."

"Uh-huh?" her hands cup my cheeks as she arches her hips up against me.

"Yeah." I reply instinctively, her head titling up as her lips land on mine once again for a series of quick kisses, each one lasting longer than the last.

"How?" she leans back down, eyes locking with mine as she gets this adorable yet troublemaker smirk. "How important?"

"He loves to exaggerate." fuck it.

I toss my phone back not really giving a shit where it lands. Lips back on her's in an instant, my own hips now meeting her own motions while my tongue duels with her own.

It doesn't take long before this kiss is just as passionate as it was when she was trying to kill me with pleasure. Ripping my mouth away needing to feel her skin against mine pull off her shirt and bra in one pull, a groan coming from her as I do but if I hurt her it doesn't seem to matter much now.

Her lips on my breast, taking my swollen nipple between her teeth. Sharp nip after sharp nip only to be soothed by the skill of her tongue.

"Fuck—Lauren." is all the vocabulary I have left at her mercy and it's truly amazing I still have that.

Using my knees to push myself up off of her, a moan of protest coming from both of us but it's a necessary evil as I rip open her pants. Pushing them along with her panties down the best I can as she tries to kick them off though they don't make it passed the start of her knees but it doesn't matter, what I want is free now.

Starting to move down her body her hands entangle in my hair pulling me right back up. Lips under a vicious attack as her trembling hand grabs my own and guides it down between us.

"Oh," we part for a much needed breath, eyes opening to witness the beauty below me and I force a playful little pout. "But I wanted to taste."

"Inside." she breathes out, kiss to my lips. "Me." another kiss to the base of my jaw. "Now." a husky whisper against my ear sending shivers down my spine.

Who am I to argue with such a desirable demand from the sexiest woman to ever live?

Two fingers slipping effortlessly inside her taut center, a scream of my name in the form of a moan my reward. She is so tight it's mouthwatering just thinking about it, so tight it's amazing I can fit two fingers inside but she also gives a new meaning to the word soaking.

Thrusting in and out of her, each and every one earning another shiver, another moan and ultimately another scream as she gets closer and closer. My lips, tongue and teeth relentlessly attentive to her neck, extra attention given to that particularly sensitive spot that drives her mad.

Her hips arching so high, so tight against my hand it has to be painful but she doesn't complain and I sure as hell won't.

"Bo—please-pla-fuck-" her words trail off to near incoherence, hands ripping at my back as I feel her hips beginning to slack. She's so close now. "B—Bo I'm cumming. I'm cumming f—for you baby." she moans over and over again as if I needed affirmation, I don't need it but I want it.

"That's it baby—that's it." my own breathless moans only encouraging further.

My thrusts growing faster, deeper as I feel her beginning to tighten around my soaking fingers-giving into my lustful curiosity and need. When my fingers slip out of her readying to deliver the last thrust that finally allow her to cum for me I add a third.

My name screamed so loud I know someone somewhere heard it, her arms wrapping around my body holding me against her so tight it hurts but the feel of her body trembling beneath me mixing with her essence dripping down my hand makes me forget everything other than her.

Soon she falls motionless, embrace lessening and I can't help but tilt my head back up. She looks so beautiful, so angelic but the single tear slipping from her eye catches my attention.

"Di—Oh God did I hurt you?"

"No. No," she whispers with the softest smile I've ever seen in my life, her hands going to my cheeks once again but this time it's sweet rather than sexual. "Far from it." she leans up capturing my lips once again.

It's sweet and loving full of need and longing yet just as full of desire and a need of another kind. It's a kiss that tells me two things. The first being that this night was far from over and the second being that even if she couldn't say it aloud—even if I couldn't say it aloud she was mine and I was her's.

* * *

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_**Wednesday**_

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_**Hawthorn Park—10:18 a.m.**_

"How very cloak and dagger of us." I say softly, looking up at her over my shoulder while taking the cup of coffee she's offering.

"You know what that is?" she asks with this sort of geeky excitement and I almost don't wanna answer. "No actually I don't but I tend to watch a lot of American shows and they tend to say that when two people are being all mysterious or something." I take a sip, my nose scrunching unconsciously when the liquid burns my lips. "Did I use it wrong?"

"Hm?" she raises a brow while walking around the right side of the bench to join me. "No, no it's right I just didn't think of the movie. I suppose I should have considering." she gives this baby shrug and takes a drink.

"What were you thinking of?"

"The Marvel comic." she nearly whispers, tops of cheek pinkening.

"Of course." I try not to laugh as I look away.

"Yes, yes. I am a big geek."

"No, no." I turn back flashing her a soft smile, hand gently tapping her knee. "It's adorable."

"My nerdness is adorable to you?"

"Extremely." my smile starts to fade, eyes falling on my hand as I start to pull it back.

"Well," she lets out sort of distracted, her eyes shifting down to my hand. "I'm really glad you do." her lips curving into a bashful smile when she reaches out and covers mine bringing it back down to her knee.

"So," a heavy sigh escaping as the cold breeze reminds me that there is a world beyond us, seems I always need to be reminded of that. "When are you leaving?"

"Friday night." she looks away as she answers.

"So soon."

"It's only for two weeks, just enough time to mend me and Sarah's relationship and visit HQ. Make sure everything is air tight there."

"Right, Super Agent Lewis must make sure the entire CSIS didn't implode while she was away."

"I need to make sure that I've done enough to shake Aife off my back, make sure that I am still valued above her."

"Do I sense a friendly rivalry going on?"

"Friendly?" her eyebrow raises to new heights and I can't help the schoolgirl sounding laugh that escapes me. "If I could make her vanish I would." sip. "Technically I can make her vanish rather easily but it would be a lot of hassle."

"Are you kidding?"

"Um," she chuckle nervously. "Yeah, yeah."

"Okay—cause for a moment there-"

"No. No, definitely kidding." she nods and smiles. "Definitely mostly kidding."

"Moving on." I look back to my left at the joggers running by. "Lived here all of my life and it always amazes me to find people jogging through the cold, through the snow, like I mean it's a stupid thing to think about but-"

"Bo," she says my name ever so softly giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "I will be coming back."

"Yeah, I know."

"But when I come back-"

"It won't be for me."

"I-I can't lie and say it will be no but I can tell you that if this was all said and done then I wholeheartedly believe I would be coming back to see you."

"Well," I flip my hand around in her embrace, my fingers slipping in between her's. "That's something."

"Something is better than nothing."

"That's what they say." I lean back against the bench our grips tightening, maybe it's her or maybe it's me that squeezes tighter, a wordless admission that we weren't ready to let this go.

This isn't supposed to be a goodbye but it sure as hell feels like one.

* * *

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_**Friday**_

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_**Montréal–Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport—8:35 p.m.**_

"Well," I start but find myself at a loss for words, the overhead voice calling out the approaching departure of her flight. "Be careful okay?"

"It's just a flight Bo."

"Yeah well flying isn't exactly what it used to be." another nervous laugh making an appearance for the umpteenth time tonight. "Well have fun and let me know if you need anything, okay?" another laugh as I look passed her at nothing in particular. "Anything at all. Even if it's just like a sandwich from your favorite lunch place or you have insomnia at one in the morning or just wanna talk or-well I guess the anything in the sentence really covered-"

"Anything?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not going to call you while I'm gone and I don't want you to call me either."

"Why does it feel like I'm never going to see you again?" I know I have this awkward smile plastered to my face but I think honestly it's the only thing keeping me from crying at this point.

"You will Bo." she say it so definite that it should bring me comfort but it doesn't, something has changed and I don't know what. "I—I still have to arrest your grandfather and everyone else." I can't help but let out a snort filled chuckle, she had a way of bringing a strange sense of humor to the darkest of situations. "I am coming back I just think that it would be good to use this distance to get a little perspective."

"Oh."

"It's not that-"

"No. Hey! It's cool, I totally get it."

"Do you?"

"No, not at all." I find myself laughing again, that stupid feeling when tears are coming building in my chest.

"It's just that when I get back I'm really going to be coming back with a team for your grandfather and Dyson and several other high ranking officials and-"

"That's a lot of ands."

"Do you know that researchers have found that adrenaline makes a potential date more attractive?"

"N-no I can't say I did?"

"Yeah it's a known fact. Another is that the act of kissing releases masses of oxycotin, a hormone that helps couples bond. It's actually through this bonding that each lover's face becomes personally attractive to the other."

"Alright."

"Also it's a fact that proximity plays a role in attraction. That's why office romances seem to happen so frequently."

"I really think you're trying to say something in your patented Lauren-a-dork-able-ness, but I'm just not seeing it."

"We've been in danger a lot, we've kissed quite a bit and we've really seen a lot of one another the past few months."

"Oh." I let out nodding as if I understand what she is trying to say-and then I do. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"I just need to know and you should want to know too."

"Right, yeah, totally got it."

"I'm sorry I'm not good at goodbyes-even if they are temporary."

"No need to apologize, if I wasn't so distracted by all of the science I would be fumbling twice as much as you." I reach out to shake her hand as she goes for a hug. "Sorry." I say now going for a hug as she goes for my hand this time. "Alright." taking a step back we just stare at one another as if asking the other should we try again but the call for her flight cuts through and I just give her this little shrug. "See you soon."

"Yeah." she smiles softly as we begin taking steps away from one another until we both turn to go our separate ways.

Feeling the vibration once again in my pocket that hasn't stopped since I arrived, I quickly pull it from my pocket not bothering to check who it is. Honestly it could be a creditor so long as they keep my mind from realizing I just said goodbye to Lauren I'm good.

"Hello."

_**(Bo, where are you?) **_

"Hale is that you?" I pull the phone away from my ear looking at the caller ID which reads _**'UNKNOWN'**_

_**(Is Lauren with you?)**_

"Sorta. She's heading for her flight, just said goodbye. What's wrong?" the tremble to his words sending me into panic mode. Aife had left this morning and Lauren hadn't heard of any replacement agents coming so it couldn't be that. Lauren just talked to Kenzi in the car so she was okay. I'm obviously okay. So what could bring that tone to his voice is unknown to me which is truly shocking.

_**(You got to stop her from getting on that plane.)**_

"Don't think I haven't thought of that? I had this whole thing planned but-"

_**(Bo we got another body and it seems to be addressed to Lauren.)**_


	12. Life's Little Surprises

_**Chapter Twelve: Life's Little Surprises**_

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Old Canter Lane—10:03 p.m.**_

"Short two weeks, huh?" she glances over at me with this hesitant grin as she turns the car off. "Lauren," she says my name only the way she can, never has anyone been able to say my name the same way every time yet have so many different meanings behind it. Tearing my eyes away from the police encircled barn to meet her's.

"What?"

"I don't know what we're going to find in there but I want you to know it isn't your fault." her voice shakes ever so slightly, it's so subtle that if I didn't know her the way I do then I would have probably missed it.

"I know." I give a nod and a horrible attempt at a smile. Somewhere along the way I think I've let her in more than I realize or maybe there is just something in her that understands something inside of me.

Even now I hold an unusual fondness for Evony-maybe not for her as a whole but the part of her, the damaged part that is so familiar. The part that bonded with my own damaged part, a bond that was never meant to be nor spoken but just gradually happened as evolution does. Perhaps there are parts of Bo that are just as broken yet she hides them better. If that's the case then I find myself envying her. I don't approve of how she's chosen to live her life, her decisions of how she drowns out her pain but if she is broken enough to truly understand ALL of me and she can still have so much life inside of her-then consider me thoroughly envious.

She gives me this nod, this sorrowful look as if she knows every thought circling my mind before turning away and starting her way out of the car giving me no choice but to follow suit.

If I never set my eyes upon another barn in my life I would die happy.

There's cops everywhere so many so that the closer we get the more claustrophobic I find myself becoming. Car on top of car patrol and unmarked alike with two ambulances managing to squeeze there way into here. Apart from the space narrowing with every step taken there seems to be an attraction of eyes, officers, techs, paramedics all stopping mid-action to look at me and Bo though something tells me it's more at me and Bo is just collateral damage once again.

"Oh look, finally someone heartless enough to spend more than five seconds in there." Dyson says through a glare standing next to Tamsin who looks three shades paler than normal. "Bo." he says shaking his head and I can't help but to pause at the slightly ajar door looking between him and her.

"Come on." she says nodding toward the door and I can't help but to see the way his eye twitches as my eyes glance over him while returning focus to the door. "Oh shit." she lets out as her gag reflex begins to kick in.

I can't lie I feel my own stomach beginning to turn in on itself, the aroma of decomposition seemingly has attached itself to every piece of wood and straw throughout the way it would had his body been here for days rather than hours.

"Don't breathe through your mouth." I warn Bo as I hear muffled gagging turn into the starting of regurgitation. "You can go outside." I look over my left shoulder seeing her trying to keep her dinner down but she just shakes her head and waves me off.

I look back up to the body and objectively begin trying to deduce why they thought it was addressed to me specifically.

Sure the barn for obvious reasons but what else?

Against relation:

This boy isn't a boy but rather a fourteen to seventeen year old young white male. He isn't hanging from his neck but rather his bare feet—or to be technical the rope is tightly wrapped around his ankles. He isn't dressed in more than a pair of blood stained, baby-blue boxers. His clothes in a bunched up pile by the bottom of the ladder.

For relation:

A long cut from stem to sternum seemingly identical to that of Lachlan's and the starting of my own. He's been proudly left on display waiting to be found but this one is seemingly more for show than ritual. His wrists aren't bound but rather free, his arms are extended out and downward rather than just dangling-I wouldn't be surprised if he suffered brakes of some kind. The question though is if they were accidentally or for the purpose of this pose which if looked at from a certain prospective could be construed as religious.

"His name is Liam Bryce O'Connor." I turn at the sound of Hale's voice. "Wallet was placed on top of the clothes. There was a hunting knife of some kind found up top which we're assuming is the weapon used."

"Did—did the first responders see anything?" Bo manages to get out with minimal struggle.

"Depends which ones you mean." his words seemingly fixed with a sharp point as is his gaze. "There was the patrol car that is set to do routine sweeps here now since what went down and he's in a body bag out front." his gaze turning to Bo. "Shot four times close range, never got out of the car. The call in for this came over his radio by the killer."

"I need to make a call." I blurt out already starting toward Bo. I feel her eyes on me as I make my somewhat hasty exit but surprisingly she doesn't follow.

"Enjoy what you see?" I hear Dyson's voice as I walk passed him. "I'm talking to you."

"I'm busy."

"That's right, a dead boy in there with his insides pouring out but that's got to wait because Lauren has places to be."

"Fuck you." I snap turning around as I reach Bo's car but to my surprise I find him right on top of me.

"Thought you didn't do dick or is that just what you told Bo?"

"You know it's a federal offense to **attempt** to intimidate a federal officer."

"Oh Lauren," he laughs through that wolf like grin of his. "If I was really **attempting** to intimidate you you'd know." his hands slamming against the front and back window on either side of me as he leans in.

"I've stared into the eyes of cartel, warlords, child murders, rapists, killers and terrorist without ever flinching. I'm not about to start now to someone whose basically nothing more than errand boy with a bad attitude."

"Is that all you think I am?" his voice does this low sort of growl thing that I've only heard once before while he leans in further.

"I think like a child you like to play games Dyson and it pisses you off that I won't play."

"You won't huh?"

"No."

"We'll see about that." he pushes himself up, grin ear to ear as he continues to laugh.

"This only has one way of ending Dyson."

"Oh!" he claps his hands together while taking steps backward, laugh never once faltering. "I'm looking forward to it."

I watch as he walks backward a few more steps before turning around, hands going into his jacket pocket while heading back for the barn.

It doesn't matter, I don't have time to focus on him and his games. Pulling out my phone with one hand while opening the door with the other and sliding in.

"Aife it's me, I'm not on the plane I'm still in Montreal."

_**(The fuck? You need to get off one more time or something cause you know I got some numbers to some pretty nice call girls if you'd like.)**_

"Aife."

_**(Fuck sorry forgot about your sensitive sensibility, they're escorts.) **_

"There's been another murder."

_**(Well we might not be New York or Chicago kiddo but they do tend to happen no reason to get all bent outta shape.)**_

"No you aren't understanding me. There's been another murder and it seems to tied to the others."

_**(Seems to be? The fuck does that mean?)**_

"It means that there isn't a person here who doesn't think it's not related not to mention it seems to be personally addressed to me in a sense."

_**(Okay. Then we'll deal with it when we get back.)**_

"I don't think it's the best idea I leave now. I'm going to stay and-"

_**(You're working my last nerve Lauren. I'm trying to be polite here but since that doesn't seem to be working how about this. Get your fucking ass on the next flight and report in before I come back there a drag your ass in.)**_

"Alright." I say through a clenched jaw reminding myself I'm in no position to lose my temper.

_**(Good now that's outta the way. Hugs and kisses. See you when you land. We'll get breakfast or something.)**_

"Well at least I didn't throw up." Bo's voice scares me earning a little jump as I watch her get into the car. "I really thought I was going to puke there for a minute."

"I need to go back to the airport."

"You really wanna take a vacation now?" she chuckles giving me this '_are you kidding_' look.

"I don't have a choice. I've been told to report in." I say flatly shoving my phone in my pocket and looking out of my window hoping she won't push this any further.

One goodbye to her was hard enough.

* * *

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**Saturday**_

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_**Morgue—12:18 a.m.**_

"Sorry I'm late, traffic was a bitch surprisingly." I say walking in seemingly startling Nadia. "Got anything for me?" I ask looking between the two occupied tables she's standing in between.

"Nothing much yet."

"Really?" my brow furrowing. "Nothing?"

"No I'm sorry Detective but I'm just barely starting."

"Just-I've been stuck playing driver for the past few hours and you're just starting?"

'That would be what I said." she looks over to give me a nod.

"Sorry it's just that Lauren would have had at least one of them all sliced and diced by now feeding me the goodies." she looks up at me, head tilted curiously. "Yeah I realize how that sounded." I give a little shrug and walk a little closer.

"I hate to disappoint you but I am not Doctor Lewis, she does things her way and I do them mine-by the book. You are more than welcome to come back."

"You know you got a bit more attitude then your appearance would suggest."

"I'm full of surprises."

"I see." I can't help but chuckle. I had seen her around a few times after all she's been Lauren's assistant for three or four months but I hadn't even heard her speak more than three words until this moment. "The cause of death for Officer Jenkins was GSW?"

"What do you think?"

"You know there is a difference between quick wit and just being a bitch." I say half paying attention as I slowly walk around the table looking intently at the unusual pattern of wounds. "Have you ever seen this pattern before?"

"Actually no."

"Are you gonna send a pic to Lauren to see if she has?"

"No that wasn't on my list of things to do." she sighs, dropping her scalpel on the tray next to her. "You do realize I have a degree same as Doctor Lewis right?"

"You're pretty snippy about her aren't you?" I look up as she glances at me over her shoulder, though between the cap, mask and glasses it's hard to tell what her expression actually is.

"I am not snippy, just do not appreciate being treated like a second class citizen-"

"Was he wearing a vest?"

"I don't appreciate being interrupted either." she snaps turning around to face me.

"Sorry, I'll buy you a cup of coffee to make up for it. Now was he?"

"Yeah, it's over there." she points off to the desk by the door that's cluttered in evidence bags. "Wasn't hit though."

"Didn't think it would be, look." I wait for her to walk over next to me. "Look at the pattern."

"It's unusual but I don't see what has you squawking like a chipmunk."

"You wouldn't since I don't think you've ever had to smother your boobs one of them. Look," I go to touch him only to find my hand hit away. "You know Lauren doesn't do that." my brow raises with a smirk knowing it would irk her. "Right here." I point but don't touch. "Underneath the armpit, the side right above his hip. Then here his throat and head."

"I can see."

"Pretend he's wearing a vest." I pause for a moment waiting for her to grasp my theory.

"The killer is familiar with our protective measures." she sort of nudges me out of the way as she lifts up his arm examining the wound closer. "These two to the body look almost as if he was leaning over."

"Reaching for something? Like his weapon?"

"No. Like something in the seat beside him or maybe the radio, based on what I know of the scene and these wounds I feel comfortable saying he felt comfortable enough to look away. His left arm was reaching to his right, almost as if turning is back."

"So like a woman or -"

"Whoa there. I don't do speculation." she places his arm down before beginning back toward the boy's body.

"I'm bouncing an idea here not asking you to help me come up with suspect."

"I don't do bouncing either."

"Lauren would." I snort trying no to chuckle as I head for the exit. "I'll be back, grabbing a coffee maybe by then you'll have something."

* * *

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Vancouver/Holy Rosary Cathedral—9:24 a.m.**_

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." I mumble the whispered words to myself as I do the sign of the cross and do a half bow to one knee before sliding into the first pew.

I've always found memory muscle to be the most fascinating thing. I've seen people lose their memory, couldn't tell you their own name or that of their child but could play the piano as beautifully as ever. I've known people who've switched religions or even left them all together but some odd years could still remember the routines, the prayers. Maybe not all of them, but the ones said most. I've forgotten quite a bit in the years, I used to be able to name over twenty-seven saints and what they were patron of though now I'm down to seven. I used to know over ten prayers and now I'm down to four, perhaps five if I really concentrated.

But even as the edges fade away the most repetitious ones continue to stick with me. I can't help but to wonder if it's muscle memory that keeps me tethered in the slightest way or if perhaps there is a part of me still searching for something beyond the cold, hard facts. A part of me that longs to see the good in things, enjoy the small miracles in life as others do while enjoying the comfort it brings.

Running my hand over my heavy eyes trying not to think about how little sleep I've actually gotten a soft yawn escapes me. Looking over at Sarah I think about tapping her on the shoulder to let her know I'm here but despite her folded hands in front of her face I see her lips moving ever so slightly and if I look a tad bit harder I can faintly see something colored in her hand. I guess she's praying the rosary—this could be a bit.

Sighing to myself, hands on my knees I look over my left shoulder back at the exit, first set of doors propped open almost as if inviting me to leave—or at least that's how I want to take it.

Shaking my head at myself I settle back into my seat staring passed the alter and up at the cross hanging from the ceiling—or rather crucifix, big difference I suppose.

I wonder what other people feel when they stare up at this, all I feel is guilt and shame. Then again the church is notorious for guilt which is kind of ironic so I suppose I'm fitting right in. I want to look away, look down at the floor or look anywhere else but I can't seem too tear my eyes away. Maybe they were right, maybe I play the martyr card a little too much. But what's the proper amount of guilt to feel? What's the proper amount of blame to take? What am I supposed to say—to do when I know every single failure I've made and their consequences? Am I not supposed to take the blame for what I've done? What is and isn't acceptable to take the blame for? Where are these guidelines that everyone other than myself seem to have?

I close my eyes and I see the faces of all of those kids and I can't help but to feel responsible. Can't help but think of every wrong choice made. He was no one, some truck driver that would have likely never came to the attention of anyone but I can't help but think that there was something somewhere I missed. If I wasn't so wrapped up in Kenzi or Bo or Lachlan then maybe I would have seen it. There was nothing I could have done for the twenty-seven before but these last five—I should have been able to do something. I should have been able to do something for them, for my brother and now for the poor boy laying on an autopsy table as a sick message t me.

How can I not take the blame for him?

I wonder what I'm looking for-what I'm doing here. Of all the places I could have gone, of all the things I have to do. I could have waited for her at the house, I could have called after attending to my own business. I could have done a million other things but here I find myself, but why?

Redemption? Absolution? Comfort? Piece of mind? Salvation? Perhaps all of the above and so much more.

I miss the comfort once brought by a faith in something other than myself. The comfort brought when you walk into an impossible situation so you say a prayer in your mind and feel without a doubt it's been heard—that you aren't alone. I miss the comfort of Bo's embrace, the comfort in her kiss—her gaze telling me I don't have to be alone. I miss the comfort of Kenzi's jokes as she tries to reach what's left of human inside of me. I miss Lachlan stalking in the background protecting me from all the evils in the world, my own personal gargoyle in a sense.

They want my badge—I can feel it. Even if it's not now, not this time I know it's coming. I can feel in in my bones and part of me wonders if the price I've paid to earn it has been worth it. That same part that asks me if I'm willing to give what I have left to keep it.

Is it playing the martyr to think I've given part of my soul to keep this job?

If so then I guess I am still playing my chosen role because the longer I sit here, the longer I stare up at this crucifix the more I'm convinced of it.

"Shh," the consoling angelic whisper followed by a tight, warm embrace pulling me over and down only it doesn't feel so much like being pulled as it does floating.

For a moment it doesn't feel real, for a moment I'm not here—I'm not sure where I m but I'm not here.

When I open my eyes I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, sobs that are surely my own only lessened by the sound of a heartbeat. The arms wrapped around me so tight are those of Sarah as she continues to sooth me with a slight rock back and forth. I want to pull away, I want to stop crying but I find my own arms wrapping around her body holding her so tight I know it hurts her because it hurts myself. She doesn't release me but rather kisses the back of my head as one would a child.

Perhaps what I long for most is not solace but reconciliation.

* * *

_**Lachlan Household—11:23 a.m.**_

"How long are you staying?" she asks speaking to me for the first time since we left the church. Her eyes staying on the table as she hands me a cup of coffee.

"N-not long."

"I expected as must." she scoffs under her breath, back turning to me immediately.

"It's not—I was intending to spend a couple of weeks here before finishing everything up but something came up."

"It always does."

"Sarah."

"What?" she tosses a dish rag back into the sink, turning her head to the left just enough to let me see the side her face. "I was married to your brother Lauren, I know all about how things come up at the last minute." her face vanishing as she looks back down into the sink. "Why did you even bother coming back at all?"

"I didn't have a choice. Aife gave me the order when I called her last night."

"Since when do you take orders from that courtesan?" I can't help but chuckle slightly at her choice of words as I attempt to take a sip of my coffee, she never was one to have a foul mouth. I think I could count on one hand the amount of times she actually said the F-word.

"Since I am attempting not to make any unnecessary waves for myself."

"Because of the girl?"

"Bo," I nod even though she can't see me as I place my cup down on the table. "Something like that."

"Something like that or that?" she turns around with this heavy sigh and suddenly I feel like she's my mother staring at me or maybe a nun, I remember them being quite intimidating too. That was the thing about her, she wasn't intimidating in the traditional sense but in the welcoming mother type of way that makes you scared to death to disappoint her.

"I don't want to argue."

"I'm just asking a simple question." she does this little shrug, irritation growing once again. She was Canadian born but spent well into her teen years shuffling between Vancouver and Boston, her unusual yet endearing accent growing more predominate by the second. "So this girl, she the real thing?"

"What?"

"She the real thing, she the one you want to move in with, get a dog, have Sunday night dinners with the family with?"

"I don't think she the full on domestic type." I can't help but smile just imagining Bo trying to participate in a game of charades after weekly Sunday dinners.

"That doesn't matter."

"No?" my eyebrow raising in surprise.

"No. It doesn't matter if she's a dog or cat person or heck a bird person. It doesn't matter if she is Martha Stewart or Lindsey Lohan-"

"Okay what's the deal with Lohan because you seem to mention her a lot."

"I'm trying to make a point here." her eyes widen a bit, arms folding over her chest. "My point I was beginning to make before so rudely interrupted is that it doesn't matter what you perceive her type to be what matters most of all is if you can imagine her in your life and then in your future. " she pauses, giving me this little head shake as she walks up to the table before taking a seat in front of me. "I don't care if she was conceived in a laboratory from a list you personally constructed, if you couldn't imagine her with you out of her element doing dinner or anything else then she isn't worth the trouble. If you couldn't imagine her in your future doing whatever it is you two do then she isn't worth the trouble."

"And if I can?"

"If you can well," her warm, honey-brown eyes peering into mine and it's enough to bring tears welling in my eyes. The smallest of smiles coming over her lips. "Then she's worth it."

"B—but how do I know if she's really the one?"

"The one?" she gives this soft laugh, shaking her head at me again as she reaches across the table taking my hand. "I didn't say anything about knowing that Love, I'm merely saying that if she—or anyone fits that criteria then they're worth the trouble-until they aren't anymore."

"Sarah you don't understand the things I've done for her, the rules I've-"

"I don't want to know. You know as well as Connor, I don't want that in my house." she gives my hand a little squeeze as she says his name. "Take my advice or don't, I'm merely an old woman handing down a bit of wisdom."

"You're not even ten years older than me." I say earning a laugh as I roll my eyes at her. "Jesus, you look younger than me half of the time."

"Half?"

"You want me admit to all of the time?" I pull my hand back with a mock expression of anger earning another laugh from her but quickly it dies out and we're left in this heavy silence that cuts to the bone. "You know you don't have to stay in this house. Between what he left you and what I can contribute we can get you somewhere nice. There is still more than enough time to get you settled somewhere before the baby comes."

"This is my home."

"I understand that but-"

"No Lauren you don't, this is my home. This is where the bed that I made love to husband is. This is the kitchen that I made countless Sunday dinners in, dinners in which were the only times we felt like a normal family. This is where the yard is that he wanted to build a tree-house when he found out about this baby. This house is my home Lauren, the memories aren't easy but they don't haunt me as they seem to do you."

"I'm just trying to help." I look down at the floor, a wave of unexplainable guilt rushing over me as if I had done something wrong. I always seem to be doing or saying something wrong lately.

"Some pain is good Lauren, some pain is worth it and you'd know that if you didn't run from it all."

"How can I run from it if I'm always playing the martyr?" I snap sharper than either of us expected.

"It's okay Lauren," she says through this heavy sigh while she begins to stand, my eyes moving up to her face. "It's okay to hurt," her hand going to my shoulder as she starts to pass me. "It's okay to be scared too, it's what makes us human."

She gives my shoulder another squeeze before leaving me alone. Tears once again glossing over my eyes but they don't fall, not a single one as I blink them back.

Maybe she was right, maybe I was just scared—but of what?

Everything.

* * *

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_**Bo's Pov**_

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_**Montreal/Third Floor-Homicide Unit—1:24 p.m.**_

"Need a massage?"

"No." I groan looking up from my desk to Dyson hovering over me. "I need to resurrect Rainer so I can kill the sick fuck all over again."

"Okay." he chuckles, taking several steps back to lean on Tamsin's desk.

"You know at this moment I'm one file away from converting to a religion just so I could happily picture him in hell."

"You need a religion to do that?"

"I don't have a good grasp on what it would consist of, what about the Catholics they seem like their hell would be scary."

"Wouldn't know, not Catholic."

"Should call Lauren and find out, I'm betting you it's a terrifying hell."

"And if it's not?"

"Please have you seen their schools? Took a stroll through one looking for a suspect once and had nightmares for a week."

"Alright." he snorts and folds his arms, seemingly annoyed with me and it suddenly reminds me I'm pissed at him. "Shouldn't you be investigating the boy from last night?"

"I am."

"In Rainer's files?"

"Thirty-two know kills of children. Twenty-six known kills of adults including his own parents and Agent Lachlan. One failed kidnap and torture of Lauren. I don't know about you but that seems like a pretty big total not to mention several states are still checking through their files so it could grow."

"I'm getting bored here, your point Nancy Drew?"

"My point is when a body shows up killed and mutilated in a similar fashion it's worth taking a quick look to see if Rainer had a partner or belonged to a group of sickos." I snap, standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"To get a drink is that okay with you?" I jerk my arm away as he reaches for me.

* * *

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Vancouver/CSIS Field Office—4:27 p.m.**_

"Cutting it kinda close kiddo, don't you think?" Aife lets out with a smug smile as she pops out from behind a cubical, shame she didn't let me get a little closer. If she had I could have punched her and blamed it on being startled-there's still time.

"I like to live dangerously."

"Oh I can tell," she says as her smirk widens, my feet coming to a halt as I reach for the handle on the glass door to the conference room. Eyebrow raising as my own smirk starts to show. "Your choices for sexual partners make it rather obvious." she gives me a wink and I can't help but to laugh, nodding as I turn my attention back to the door. Pulling it open just fast enough with the right amount of force that it actually manages to hit her shoulder.

"Oh I'm sorry, are you okay?" I do my best to retract my smirk while trying to sound genuine but neither seem to work.

"Do you two need a personal moment?" his deep voice sending chills down my spine before my eyes even find him.

"Assistant Director Asher." I take a breath as I walk along the left side of the long glass table, Aife opting to go down the right, guess we aren't besties any more. My eyes on the glass the entire way watching her reflection, something seems different about her today.

"Lauren." he holds his hand out to a chair as he leans back in his own. "I've heard there is another body."

"Yes, a male fifteen years of age-"

"Aife informed me you attempted to ignore orders to return."

"This victim's body was on first glance seemingly addressed to me."

"Seemingly or was?"

"I would say that the probability of it being addressed to me would be ninety-seven point seven-six-two."

"Jesus fuckin' Christ." Aife mumbles under her breath, rolling her eyes at me.

"The body was found in the Old Canter Lane barn in a similar fashion to that of Agent Lachlan's. As well as the boy's name was Liam O'Connor, quite the coincidence."

"Well this is most unfortunate." he leans forward, hands folding on the table as his elbow bushes against a folder off to his side.

"I would agree." I smile nervously and take deep breaths trying to figure out exactly where this is going.

"Do you know I'm the first black A.D. Of CSIS?"

"Yes actually I attended your inauguration, the pigs in a blanket were to die for." I could have probably left the last comment out but the rumbling in my stomach seems to be a influence on my train of thought considering that was the first thing that popped into mind.

"Aren't your parents white?" Aife blurts out with this dumb school girl look and I have to look down to not laugh as Asher looks over at her with this stone expression though most of his expressions tended to look the same.

"Could you give me and Lauren a minute." he may have added '_could you'_ into his sentence but we both know it isn't a question. I keep my eyes on the table as she excuses herself. "Where was I?"

"First-"

"Right." he sits up clearing his throat. "Now it might not mean much to me anymore, I might not even think about it until I'm doing interviews and speeches just like the fact that you're the first woman to reach your position in the amount of time you did. First day it's great, first month it's great and after that you don't think much about it. Am I right?"

"I suppose."

"My point is that these milestones now are more about other people, it gives them hope that they can achieve. That they can be the first to do something and hopefully one day when someone reaches a milestone it won't be about race or sex-but sadly that day isn't quite here."

"I um, I agree but I just don't quite understand where you're going with this Sir."

"I'm no stranger to not fitting in, to having to work harder than the average bear. I'm dark skinned and my parents are lighter than you, this may be Canada but it was no picnic growing up. I attend security conferences between us and the states and you know the number of non old, white men who are balding and smell like mothballs?"

"N—no. I don't assume very many Sir."

"Exactly. The point I'm trying to make you understand Lauren is that while I am no stranger to standing out and hard work all of which hasn't managed to make me bitter by the way I am also not stupid. I am very well aware that I have to work twice as hard as someone half as qualified. I am very well aware that there are some people who are displeased with my position for no reason other than the color of my skin."

"Sir, I'm not racist. I've worked under you for years." I chuckle nervously, shifting in my seat.

"It's not a matter of that, it's a matter of making you understand that while some may be able to overlook large holes in their ship I cannot. Hell I cannot even overlook small holes in my ship but what we have going on here is not a small hole Lauren, it's a gaping one."

"Sir if you just let me explain."

"I have reports saying you and Detective Dennis never touched each other while I have others saying you did. Those reports break into more reports about the level of consent. I have reports about how you were kidnapped and reports saying you weren't. I have reports of half the department turning informant. I have reports telling me that Connor Lachlan was a dirty agent. I have reports telling me you're a dirty agent. I have so many reports on things related to you within the past few months that my office has become a fire hazard."

"My brother wasn't dirty."

"Please." he snorts holding up his hands. "I knew Connor back into my rookie days, that man was as dirty as you and me. Everyone does things they aren't proud of especially in our line of work, that's why it isn't for everyone. This bullshit with your brother will play itself out, let Aife tire herself out chasing shadows."

"Then I don't understand-"

"The Cassidy indiscretion was overlooked because you were a rookie, because you caught the son of a bitch and made the Prime Minster very happy. But this," he looks down at the table, nostrils flaring as he pushes a single black folder toward me that he had been keeping off to his left. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"She isn't involved with what we're investigating." I don't bother opening the folder I already know it's related to Bo. "I would wager my career on it."

"You are." he says so flatly, tone completely void of emotion that it feels as if a brick has been dropped on my chest. "This whole deal on whether or not the sex between you and her was consensual is now void. People will talk but the investigation will no longer exist. The charges against her and whatever this case is about the Collins boy has vanished."

"Th—thank you."

"Lauren, we go back a ways but make no mistake this isn't about you. A serial killer terrorized Montreal with a death toll that is still uncertain and now another body has turned up personally addressed to you? I can't exactly pull you, what would I tell the public? Sorry it may be tied to our agent and it may be assigned to a department that couldn't find it's ass with a GPS but it's not a big enough priority for us? Nor can I have the lead of the case and the face in front of the cameras under investigation now can I?"

"Press?" I give a half snort, eyes narrowing in on him trying to process what he's saying. "Sir if I'm doing press then I could never go under cover again."

"I know."

"Am—am I being demoted?" I can barely manage to get my words out, the walls beginning to feel as if they are closing in on me.

"No, but I cannot in good conscious put you undercover again with the actions that have taken place over the passed months."

"Sir." It's all I can manage to say as I swallow back the lump in my throat and remind myself to keep my back straight.

He says it's not a demotion but without undercover work what am I doing? Some desk somewhere pushing paperwork around for other agents out in the field? He won't allow me back out of the country, it won't matter what my qualifications are. We don't work murders that aren't a threat to national security so I won't see much field time, not nationally. We have a specific office for medical examinations so I won't even be able to fall back onto that.

I should be jumping for joy that they won't pursue my personal life any further. I should be jumping for joy that they are going to leave Bo be. I should be happy that they are letting me see this through until the end. I should be happy that I can see through this latest murder.

But I'm not happy.

I had only imagined three ways this could go. One being that I was arrested, two being that I was simply fired or three that I remained untouched and continued on while everyone else paid the price. I had never expected a fourth option, one where things more or less went my way yet I was still punished.

I think I would have preferred option number two because option number four seems like hell.

My own person hell.

* * *

_**Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel—9:18 p.m.**_

Walking from the bathroom I toss my towel onto the bed as I pass by heading for the window, even in the darkness of the night Coral Harbor looks beautiful. A luxury boat of some kind idly floating by gripping my attention, the memory of Asher's inauguration coming back to the forefront of my mind. Only this time it isn't the pigs in blankets the grab my attention or any other food for that matter, it's more Sarah's words that do.

I can't help but think about being on the boat fancily dressed, chatting it up with some of the most stuck up people but it's okay because when you manage to get a moment of peace you can laugh with a loved one about all of the idiocy. I remember that night laughing so much with my brother and Sarah along with Asher's parents. I remember it being fun in it's own right but now I can't help but wonder what it would have been like if Bo was there.

Bo all dolled up and playing nice the way she does when she gets shy. How cute it would be to watch a nervous her trying to fit in and communicate with people I don't even understand. How fun it would be to sneak moments of peace and laugh about all of it. How romantic it would be to sneak out onto the deck underneath the moon, speak pointless words while looking into each other's eyes before eventually our lips would finally meet. How sexy it would be after it all to sneak away and make love through the night.

But Sarah said it was about looking into the future and seeing that person not looking back. She said that despite everything happening now if you could still see them there then the trouble is worth it.

Can I see her in my future?

The obnoxious horn from the boat prevents my thoughts from going any further, hand slipping into the pocket of my robe pulling out my phone. Eyes staring at the screen with such intensity as my thumb unlocks it and clicks on messages. My heart beginning to speed up as I feel this tug of hesitance.

.

_**Me:**_ Are you up? _**(9:31 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ No. _**(9:34 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Oh. Okay, I'm sorry to disturb you. _**(9:34 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ I'm kidding, of course I'm up. _**(9:34 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Are you at work? _**(9:34 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ No, home. Why something up? _**(9:35 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_No, just didn't want to bother you. _**(9:35 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_You're never bothering me. _**(9:35 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Good to know. _**(9:35 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_Did you need something? _**(9:37 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I just wanted to tell you that the case with Collins and all of that is being dropped. _**(9:37 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ What? How did you manage that? _**(9:37 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ It's a long story, let's just say let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. _**(9:37 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ No idea what that means but I'm so something lol. I don't know what I am but thank you. _**(9:39 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I didn't really do anything. _**(9:39 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Well still. _**(9:39 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Is that all you were texting for? _**(9:41 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Yeah. It was. Thought you would want to know. _**(9:42 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Okay. Thank you. _**(9:43 p.m.)**_

.

Eye shifting back out onto the harbor but I keep my phone in hand. Drawing a deep breath I try to imagine my future but the problem is I don't exactly know what my future holds any longer. In my line of work it's not like I actually knew what I could expect in a month but I knew the skeleton of it all. I knew the outline and that was enough but now-I'm lucky if I can identify a femur and patella.

I smile momentarily at my choice of analogy knowing it would have made Bo flash her gorgeous smile and give me that little look that lets me know she thinks I'm so wonderfully strange.

I cannot picture my own future so how am I supposed to picture her in mine?

Sighing to myself I run my free hand through my hair and watch as the boat finally floats out of my line of sight.

Maybe it's not about a specific future but rather in general.

.

_**Me:**_ We should come up with a list of things to do. _**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ You mean for the case? Because seriously Lauren you don't need to micro manage me from across country. I can manage to hold things together for a few days. _**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ No. I mean for us to do when all is said and done. _**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ What like a court deposition deal? _**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ No, Bo I mean for us. Like things you wouldn't mind doing together when we aren't hunting serial killers. _**(10:01 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ I don't get what you're asking me. _**(10:01 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Okay. _**(10:01 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ That didn't mean stop talking to me, it just meant explain. _**(10:04 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Ex—I want to go shopping with you. Mostly because I don't think you know how to shop correctly for yourself but also because I just think it would be fun to spend time together in a non traditional setting and get snacks and check out the latest tech. _**(10:04 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_Oh, okay I get the game now. _**(10:06 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_I would want you to cook for me. _**(10:06 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Okay. That's not a problem but I was expecting something a little more...romantic? _**(10:06 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Have you ever seen Fried Green Tomatoes? _**(10:06 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ No can't say I have. _**(10:06 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Well there is this scene where they are sorta cooking together and it turns playful and just it's so romantic and since in the movie there's no actual sex scene this took the place of it. It was just completely romantic and intimate. _**(10:08 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Lol. Okay what else? _**(10:08 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Um, I think I'd also like you to help me paint my house. _**(10:10 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Ghost? _**(10:10 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Hey! You've seen one. Lol _**(10:10 p.m.)**_

_**.**_

I can't help but laugh to myself as I walk over to the bed and slide underneath the cover.

Part of me whats to kick myself for this, for giving in and texting her but then again at the moment I don't really care. For once I don't want to worry about work or my future or even tomorrow all I want to do is lay here in this ridiculously over priced room in this overly large bed and talk to Bo.

.

_**Me: **_Do you get all of your romantic ideas from movies? _**(10:13 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ No, of course not... _**(10:13 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Lies! Lol. _**(10:13 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Those are perfect moments, what's wrong with wanting to recreate them? _**(10:13 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Nothing is wrong with it it's just that I think it's better when you create your own perfect moments rather than recreate someone elses. _**(10:13 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Well excuse me Romance-Master. _**(10:14 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Oh, I kind of like that. _**(10:14 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_You have a real thing for being in charge don't ya? _**(10:14 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ …... _**(10:14 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ That means yes. Lol _**(10:14 p.m.)**_

**Me:** That meant I am not answering. _**(10:15 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Which means I am right :-p _**(10:15 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Okay so I got one, just lay in bed or on the couch all day and binge watch some TV show or movies or something. Just you, me, comfyness and food. _**(10:17 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Not good? _**(10:18 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Actually I love it. Sweet and simple. Okay, I want to see a basketball game. _**(10:18 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ SMH. Okay, I can definitely get behind that one. I would love to see an aggressive you...outside of the bedroom :-p _**(10:18 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Walking away from that one. If we're going all out then I may as well show you my dunking skills. _**(10:18 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ LOL. You better be bringing a ladder. _**(10:18 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_I'm an inch taller than you. _**(10:18 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Are you sure you always seem sooooo much smaller lol _**(10:19 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ My turn, play scrabble. _**(10:19 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ You would so kick my ass. Terribly! _**(10:19 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ You never know, it's all about how the tiles fall... _**(10:19 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Ooo, you're good. _**(10:19 p.m.)**_

_**.**_

I reach over turning the bedside lamp off before turning on my side with my back to the window, right hand going under the pillow as I hold my phone with the right.

I can feel the silly smile plastered on my face and for once my first instinct isn't to hide it. No, instead I turn the screen back on and think of my next reply. It may be stupid or a childish school girl sentiment but if I let myself get lost in the moment it's almost like she's laying her with me.

Can I picture her in my future?

Absolutely.

* * *

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_**Bo' Pov**_

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_**Sunday**_

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_**Montreal/Morgue-11:17 a.m.**_

_**Me:**_ Sorry I missed your call. What are you doing? _**(11:17 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ I'm sitting on a plane trying to imagine not plummeting to my death. _**(11:19 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Don't you fly all of the time? _**(11:19 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ I do quite frequently yes but I am also a CSIS agent. Do you know how many hijacking scenarios I've seen? _**(11:19 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ No. _**(11:19 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ Would you like to know? _**(11:19 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I really don't. I would like to be able to take a plane again without worrying about Lauren's 1 million ways to die on a plane. _**(11:20 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Do you need me to pick you up? _**(11:20 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ No, thank you. _**(11:20 a.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Alright. _**(11:20 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren: **_I would love for you to honestly but I'm not alone. _**(11:20 a.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Oh yippee Aife is coming back. _**(11:20 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ What are you doing? _**(11:21 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I'm in the morgue. _**(11:21 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ Find something new? _**(11:21 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Yes and no. We have plenty of goodies for you to poke around with but I actually just came to bullshit with Nadia at the moment. On break and I owed her a coffee. _**(11:21 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ Oh, I see. _**(11:22 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ Exactly why do you owe her a coffee? _**(11:22 a.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I was teasing her yesterday. _**(11:22 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ I see. _**(11:22 a.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Yeah, seemed like the right thing to do to make peace. Especially since I wasn't sure how long you were gonna be gone. _**(11:22 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren: **_Yeah, no I get it. _**(11:23 a.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Everything okay? _**(11:23 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ Fine. _**(11:23 a.m.)**_

_**Lauren:**_ I'm going to try and get some rest before today I'll talk to you later. _**(11:24 a.m.)**_

* * *

_**The Dal—6:02 p.m.**_

_**.**_

_**Me:**_ I'm here. Come out. _**(6:02 p.m.)**_

_**Hale:**_ Come in. _**(6:02 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_I would prefer not to be killed thank you. _**(6:02 p.m.)**_

_**Hale:**_ Bo come in. It's packed in here, no one is going to do anything. I want to finish my damn sandwich. _**(6:02 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_ASSSSSS! _**(6:02 p.m.)**_

_**.**_

Taking a breath I lean back in my seat and look over at the bar entrance.

This place was once a safe haven for me and now I'm worried about even being in the parking lot let alone walking in there especially after the last time. But Hale was right this was the late lunch early dinner time. Cops and civilians would be packed in so I can't imagine them trying to start anything with me now.

I don't want to go in but I also don't want to be afraid. I'm tired of being afraid, of being worried about pleasing everyone. Being afraid has been what's got me here. Being afraid of every single thing but now I actually have a second chance and I can't go back to who I was.

Even if I have to fake it for now I won't be afraid anymore.

I try not to make eye contact with Bruce as I walk toward the bar, I may want to be a new person and all but I haven't gone completely stupid. I'd rather have a fist fight with Dyson then get into a confrontation with him. He was actually a pretty nice guy but huge, the type of huge that he could get a little too excited hugging you and brake a few of your bones.

He doesn't say anything though, just pulls the door open for me. My eyes dancing around still half convinced that someone is going to pop out and jump me but so far it's just a bunch of patrol officers and civilians. Then I spot Hale at the bar with Kenzi, Tamsin and Dyson sitting next to Hale laughing about something.

What's interesting though is at the long booth near the bar is occupied by several high figures including Tick and Evony. The assistant director of the RMCP, four other police captains from different nearby stations. Three others I don't recognize-I'm going to kill Hale for making me come in here.

Like clock work I begin to feel the death glares on me, from that table and the one across from it full of detectives aka their own personal bodyguards.

Just act like everything is fine and nothing bad will happen.

"CSIS! RCMP!"

I hear several voices yell out and I feel my body freeze, I don't even look toward the door I just freeze. A few of the detectives stand—not a bright idea. The RCMP has them down on the ground in a matter of seconds, the others being pulled up from their seats slightly nicer.

Then I see CSIS closing in, I know they're CSIS because they all look like they belong in a catalog. I see a guy come up behind Dyson-but he grabs the cop next to him. They completely bypass the bar not even looking at the four of them and while I want to be thankful I can't believe that Tamsin nor Dyson or even Hale aren't being grabbed.

It's just unrealistic that the three of them could make it through unscathed.

I watch as the group of five sort of part then I see Aife walking through but even she stands aside once reaching the end allowing Lauren to pass her. She looks my way but she doesn't look at me, this level of coldness about her that I had yet to see until this moment.

I feel this sickness building in my stomach as she reaches the table and I want to turn away, I can't watch her arrest Trick. I just can't-I knew it was coming but I didn't think I'd have to actually witness it.

She doesn't reach for Trick though-instead she pulls Evony up by the arm who look to be in just as much shock as myself. Though Evony actually tries to jerk away which only gains her a rather unnecessary burst of aggression from Lauren as she spins her around and pushes her down onto the table with a loud thud before cuffing her.

I watch as Lauren guides her off, watch as agent after agent arrest person after person at the table and guide them off. But eventually there's only one left at the table and no more agents—no more RCMP.

"Surprised?" he asks, grin plastered to his face. I swallow hard and look around at the nearly empty bar, a few stragglers from my station. The group at the bar looking around as confused as I am.

"Y—you could say that."


	13. Never Play

**A.N. **A thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, fallowing, and faving. We are steadily approaching the end sadly. And a HUGE thank you once again to InevitablyWicked19 for proofing the first half of this and of course everything else you do, i won't run on...this time :p

Pokie.

_**Chapter Thirteen: Never Play**_

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_**Lauren's Pov**_

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_**Tuesday-1:00 p.m.**_

"Testing." I mumble under my breath, index finger lightly tapping the little microphone on the podium.

"Seventy-five seconds." Agent Ciara whispers in my ear, hand on my lower back as she leans against me assuming a level of comfort that isn't there but now is hardly the time to squabble about personal space.

I keep my back straight practically flexing to keep my stance, the pain from a pipe to the kidneys near overwhelming at the moment. My mind once again toying with the idea of filling my new prescription of painkillers—or taking the remaining pills I have hidden in my bedroom closet.

Drawing in a deep breath through my nose I look up and out into the crowd of thirty or so, local and national news all crowded around me like vultures circling a recently deceased carcass. Flashes from a sea of cameras and bright bulbs from the video-cameras nearly blinding me. For the first time I'm actually pleased the sun is hiding behind thick, gray clouds rather than adding to blinding luminosity pointed at me.

Apart from my newly assigned best friends and their cameras I notice the several small clusters of people lingering further back behind the little barricades set up for this whole charade. I can't see their eyes, I can barely see their faces but I know they're watching with an intense curiosity. An intense concern and honestly I can no longer say I blame them.

I feel Ciara tap my shoulder and I know that's the '_Go_' sign for me.

"Good afternoon, my name is Lauren Lewis and I am an agent of the CSIS. This will be a brief conference which will happen periodically as this investigation continues, all other updates will be given to you by a detective from the homicide unit which is still leading this investigation."

"**What can you confirm at this time**?!" A husky male voice cuts through the rest of the building chatter.

"I can at this time confirm that a constable, a detective and a CSIS agent were killed in the line of duty last night. I can confirm that another constable was injured but is looking strong and aiming for a full recovery. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of these officers, the victims and of course the families of all involved."

"**Have any of the victims been identified?!**"

Another male voice cuts through coming from further back.

"I can confirm at this time that four of the five victims have been identified and no I cannot release their names at this time."

"**What is CSIS interest in this case?! Where was federal aid while the Boogeyman was running wild?! What is CSIS role in this?! Why is CSIS assisting instead of RCMP?! Is this related to the Boogeyman?! Will the States be sending assistance as well?! Is it true Captain Evony Morgan is under arrest?!**"

I clear my throat trying to keep my breaths even and my face stern but not unsympathetic. Question on top of question, voice on top of voice and I find myself uncertain of how to proceed. Who do I answer? Do I wait for them to finish? Do I cut them off? How long do I have to stand up here? What am I doing here?

"At this time I cannot confirm nor deny that these incidents are directly related to one Rainer Prideux. I can assure you that every avenue will be explored and no stone will be left unturned."

"**Is it true that the CSIS has been in town for weeks? That an agent had already been killed in the apprehension of The Boogeyman**?" This time it's a female's little, squeaky voice that manages to grasp attention.

"I cannot disclose details surrounding this allegation."

"**Is it true?! Was CSIS helping the investigation of Rainer Prideux?! If so why did it take so long to catch him?! Is it time we call in other assistance?! Are we in a state of emergency?! Should the citizens of Montreal be worried?! Is it true this killer has knowledge of police practices?!**"

One angry voice blending into the next as flash after flash from the cameras keep me from seeing anyone's actual face. Blatant question after blatant question running into each other until all I hear is one distorted voice demanding nothing short of blood.

* * *

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_**41 Hours Earlier—Tanguay Detention Center**_

"We had a deal." Evony nearly snarls her words as I walk into the interview room. She tries to stand but given the fact that her feet are shackled and her hands are cuffed to the table she barely makes it out of her seat. "We had a deal!"

She repeats, voice growing louder.

"They will hogtie and gag you if you do not calm down." I take a seat across from her, setting my coffee and then folder down in front of myself. "You've managed to assault seven officers in an hour and a half. Do you have anything to say for that?"

"They weren't all officers," her eyes narrow as her nostrils flare, words coming through a clenched jaw. I have to bite my tongue to keep from smirking. "Some were guards."

"I'll be sure to write that in my report."

"When it asks for arresting officer's name make sure to sign it Lying-Backstabbing-Manipulative-Cold-hearted-Bitch."

"They actually just like us to use our badge numbers on other agency's documents." I take a sip of my coffee to keep from smirking. "The orange suits you by the way."

"Blow me."

"Sorry they don't allow conjugal visits here." another quick sip before placing it back down. "Even if they did I am eighty-three percent sure I'm spoken for."

"Are you having fun? Does this do it for you Lauren?" she snaps jerking her cuffs against the table and I have to wave off a guard who peeks in the window looking more than ready to pounce. "I wasn't the one who told your buddies about your scissoring partner's fuck up."

"I know that, I have an inkling who did but I know it wasn't you."

"Then what happened to our deal?"

"Do you know that there are so many movies and shows regarding law enforcement in some manner that the Miranda rights are practically recitable to anyone who watches television? So common in fact that citizens from other countries actually reference them when being arrested."

"Yes. I am a cop. What the hell does that have to do with my deal?"

"Another aspect that they tend to use is the deal making process. Something which is very rare they get correct especially when it comes to federal cases. Take for instance in federal cases the tiny fishes never get a deal for the fact they never have enough information to trade. Another instance they get wrong is that the biggest fish never get deals either. It just doesn't happen. Sure they may get off but it's not due to deals, normally do to oversights or technicalities."

"Is this a tactic of some kind? Some mind game? Bore me into submission?"

"Dyson, Tamsin, Hale, even Bo. They are the tiniest of fish, they have no information we couldn't obtain in an hour of work. The problem with your deal Evony is that due to a recent event you've fallen into the same barrel as them." I can't help but snort. "Well not exactly the same."

"I don't understand." Her tone transitioning from rabid-Rottweiler to kicked puppy.

"A fish much bigger than you but not biggest decided to make a deal which lowered your level of worth as well as everyone's below you on the food chain."

"Lauren you can't do this to me. You know I didn't-please I'm begging you." I can see the panic begin to set in, every trace of the stone-cold-bitch I'm used to vanishing as reality begins to sink in. "I don't understand who would-none of them would. Who? Just tell me that—I deserve to know that." She pleads as pure desperation drips off of every word.

"Fitzpatrick McCorrigan."

"Trick?" she laughs leaning back in her seat. "No fucking way he would roll over."

"It would appear that his loyalty to family is stronger than initially expected." I give a little shrug, fingers idly tapping my folder.

"What about if I give you information on everything I had to order everyone in the squad to do? I mean the amount I have on Dyson and on Tamsin or Burke-any of them."

"As much as it sickens me Trick's amnesty cloak extends to your star four."

"You've got to be kidding me." She snorts out a chuckle, eyes glossing over. She goes to run her hand through her hair but the restraints keep her from even getting close.

"Now are you done?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I boring you? You're probably the last normal person I'll ever talk to."

"First of all Evony, this is Tanguay Detention Center not Guantanamo." I chuckle and shake my head. "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

"I thought that was the good news." She snorts, looking down at her restraints.

"The good news is I am someone who keeps their word." She looks up at me so fast I can actually hear her neck crack. "The bad news is you have the restraint of a five year old on a sugar high."

"You're keeping my deal? Tell me you're keeping my deal Lauren."

"I was intending to, you were only supposed to spend two weeks here in ISO and off the record for your own protection until we were sure we got everyone. But then you assaulted several officers."

"Shit." She snaps, tears now gone as her tone resembles the woman I know and love to hate. "Can't we send them a fruit basket or something?"

"You bit one of them."

"Oh it wasn't so bad." She shrugs. "I've done ten times worse during foreplay—you can vouch for that."

"You broke the skin." I can't help but laugh at her and shake my head. She has a horrible way of growing on you. "On top of that I have a boss who is worried about holes in his ship and apparently thinks I'm the CSIS version of Wreck-It-Ralph right now."

"Lauren, your girlfriend's gramps just used his favors to protect her which means you have a newly void favor spot which you should use on me." She nods with this smile.

"I'll see what I can do. But do me a favor and don't assault anyone else." I raise an eyebrow as I stand and wait for her overly enthusiastic nod. Once getting it, I pull the key from my pocket and undo the restraint keeping her to the table. "Nose clean and I'll do what I can, but no promises." I slide my coffee in front of her before taking my folder and heading for the door.

"Lauren," She calls just as my free hand wraps around the handle and had this been any other time I think I would have kept walking. But this time there was something in her voice that forces me to a stop, a lazy glance over my shoulder as my eyes meet hers. "Thank you."

* * *

_**38 Hours Earlier—Lexington Commons**_

_**Bo:**_ What are you doing? _**(11:01 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_Watching the Raptors/Trail Blazers game and looking over Nadia's reports. _**(11:01 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Can you come over? _**(11:01 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ No. _**(11:03 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Okay. Can I come over? _**(11:03 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Lol. No. I know you want to discuss what happened today and I can't right now. _**(11:03 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Oh right, basketball takes importance. _**(11:03 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I think you meant precedence. _**(11:03 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_Lauren. _**(11:04 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Sorry, it's a habit. _**(11:04 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Look, I understand you want answers and you really do deserve them but there is a variety of reasons that I cannot give them to you. _**(11:04 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Would you like to share any one of them? This morning you were all ready to list a billion reasons why not to ever fly again. _**(11:04 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I think there is a conversation to be had between you and your grandfather. All I can say on the subject is that I had no idea until five minutes before we landed. But I will say that it wasn't him who rose the issue about the Collins shooting. _**(11:06 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Do you know who? _**(11:06 p.m.)**_

_**Me**_: No, not for certain. _**(11:06 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Un-for-certainly? _**(11:06 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Now you're just begging me to correct you. _**(11:07 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Look I promise I will tell you as soon as I know for sure but right now it's just a hunch and we have other things to worry about. _**(11:07 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Like the fact the Trail Blazers are beating your Raptors' asses? LOL _**(11:07 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Careful. _**(11:07 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Oooooh I'm so scared. LOL _**(11:07 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ You're such an ass sometimes. _**(11:08 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Yeah, yeah. _**(11:08 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I saw in a report that you noticed the pattern in wounds to Officer Jenkins? _**(11:08 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_Is that shock I sense? I just noticed because I hate those damn things. Every time I move it lifts up at the bottom and the sleeve area annoys me because of how low it is. _**(11:08 p.m.)**_

_**Me: **_You said that you thought it was done intentionally? _**(11:09 p.m.)**_

_**Bo: **_She put that in the report? I was just talking to her. _**(11:09 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Well how about you talk to ME about it? _**(11:09 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ Oooh am I sensing a bit of jealousy? _**(11:09 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ I just thought it was strange that he was shot side/side/front/front. Beyond overkill it seemed like it was making a point of some kind. Like saying something. _**(11:11 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ I think you may be right. We'll discuss it more tomorrow. _**(11:11 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ Hey. I'll text you in a few, someone is at the door. _**(11:11 p.m.)**_

.

Wiping my heavy eyes I place my phone down on the table before slinking off toward the door. Heavy sigh escaping as I reach for the doorknob knowing more than likely its Aife.

I'm wrong.

"Hale?" my surprised yet tired smile turning into a curious glare. His eyes glassy and his stance slightly slouched as his right hand holds onto the door frame. "Are you drunk?"

"I need to come clean."

"I'm sorry?"

"I need to do it. I need to tell them—them that it was me." his voice breaks. Head shaking back and forth as he refuses to look up at me. "They are my family and I-I shouldn't have done it."

"Hale, come in." I sigh, holding my hand out toward the couch as I step aside.

"N—no. I just-I need to tell them because they are like my family. Bo is like my sister-no she IS my sister. And I just—I see everything this has done and-"

"Hey, come on." I let out in another sigh as I wrap my left arm around his waist trying to guide him in. "What you did will save so many lives."

"It also destroyed so many." he sort of angrily whines. "Because of this I almost got Bo arrested!"

"She is fine." I jump slightly at his sudden yell. Using my right foot I kick the door shut before trying to guide him to the couch but yet again he's stopped moving. "Hale, she loves you and everything has worked out but if you want to come clean to her then do it when you're sober."

"Everyone!'

"That," I chuckle shaking my head against his chest as he sort of slumps over me. "Wouldn't be the best idea."

"How do you do it?" He snaps, jerking back from me and I have to grab his arm to keep him from stumbling backward. "How can you just lie so easily to everyone who loves you?"

"Hale-"

"No!" He jerks away from me and stumbles a bit but doesn't hit the coffee table as I feared he might. "Just tell me. I need to know. Bo is so in love with you and you've just lied—you're still lying to her. And what about lil' mama? Hm? Your own sister you're just lying to like nothing." He angrily waves his hand through the air causing him to misstep.

"I'll make you a deal, I answer your question then you sit down and let me get Kenzi?" He looks me over, with this look that's supposed to be intimidating. I think. "You lie to strangers enough you start to get good enough to lie to yourself. When you can lie to yourself you can lie to anyone with the ease of breathing because you can convince yourself it's the truth." I swallow at the sudden dryness in my throat, eyebrow raising as I wait for him to keep up his end of our deal.

"It must really be lonely being you." He says flatly, almost as if he's suddenly sobered up. His short, unsteady walk to the couch tells me otherwise.

Feeling satisfied he won't try to get up again, his attention becoming enamored in the game I head up the stairs. My first reaction being to reach for her doorknob but instead I knock and wait. There was a time when she would hardly close her door and if she did I would just walk in. Now I'm afraid to even knock. I knock again and wait for an answer that doesn't come.

Taking a breath and falling onto the side of recklessness, I open the door. She's sitting on her bed, headphones on and plugged into her laptop. It barely takes her a second to notice I'm standing here.

"I'm sorry, I knocked." I almost whisper, my eyes on her but avoiding her gaze.

"What do you want?" She isn't snapping at me this time but there is an obvious '_get the hell out'_ tone to her inquiry.

"Hale is downstairs, he's pretty drunk."

"Hard to imagine why." She huffs, pushing her laptop off of her legs.

"Kenzi I would have told you about today if I had known."

"Yeah." She nods while sliding off of the bed.

"I didn't know you or Hale would be there, I swear."

"Maybe you would have, had you bothered to call or text." My lips part to respond but I have nothing. "Excuse me." She says as she pushes passed me giving me no choice but to watch her walk away.

* * *

_**31 Hours Earlier—Lexington Commons**_

"Jesus Christ!" I can't help but jump back as Aife sits up on the couch just as I start to pass by.

"Isn't that a sin for you people?" She practically snarls with the facial expression to match the venom in her voice as she angrily kicks the blanket off of her.

"You people?" I can't help but to chuckle and shake my head. My sleep laced mind nowhere near where it needs to be to engage in a banter with her at the moment.

"Yeah. You know, you child abusing, homo hating, bigots."

"Let it go. Let it go." I whisper to myself, slamming the fridge door shut without grabbing anything. "Why exactly are you sleeping on my couch?"

"It's actually CSIS' couch, or did you forget that when you were buying into this little ten-cent fantasy life?"

"CSIS paid for or not, this apartment was assigned to me and me alone so these little pop in visits are not **actually** permitted." I turn around to find her smirking at me, still occupying my couch as if it's her own.

"Looks like someone found her balls again, where were they?"

"Why are you here?" I repeat, eyes narrowing. Undoubtedly she'll think it's a dirty look at her, which is fine, but honestly I'm just trying to see what she has spread over my coffee table.

"I was doing work last night and you had a file I needed."

"Which one?"

"Doesn't concern you."

"My house. My file. My concern."

"The Fishborn case."

"Why would you need that?" I walk up to the island, hands resting atop as my mind quickly begins running toward full consciousness.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She laughs and turns her back to me.

"Why don't we cut the shit, Aife?" I holler out while storming up to the side of the couch. She looks up at me with a slight hint of surprise. "Your little bullshit investigation into me is **over**. And even if it wasn't, there is nothing to find. Especially in a year old case I wasn't even participating in other than for a week."

"Typical Lauren Lewis." She gives me this snort, angry grin turning into an amused smirk. "You aren't the sun kiddo, the world doesn't always revolve around you."

"I don't think the world revolves around me Aife, just **your **world." I flash a smile and start to walk away from her showing her the same amount of respect she has bothered to show me. Something which seems to anger her since she is off the couch and inches from me in a matter of seconds.

"Don't confuse me your coochie whipped girlfriend. She is your girlfriend now, right? So hard to keep up with you."

"Tell me, are you this vulgar because you aren't smart enough to form an actual sentence or do you just do it for shock value as a child would?" My brow raises and I can see her anger building by the second. She keeps expecting me to back down, but for what? I have the green-light from Asher, apart from impending desk duty I'm completely clear.

"I wonder if you'll still be smirking when Sarah and little Connor Jr. are out on the street since they won't have daddy's benefits anymore."

"Lauren!" I hear Kenzi's voice but I don't look up to the stairs where it came from. Instead I realize that I have managed to grab Aife's wrist, keeping her firmly in place.

"Go head, Lauren." She dares me. "Let's see what you really are underneath all of the level headed bullshit and excessively big words." She leans in closer, almost as if she is preparing to kiss me. "I wonder if you'll do as much damage as Connor did to the Fishborn boy. Or maybe you'll go further like he did with Cane or Apeza."

"I think you need to leave." This time its Hale's voice that causes me to focus.

"You should be out of my house by the time I get done with my shower." I let her arm go and let my eyes fall to the floor. I don't say another word as I pass Kenzi who had managed to move within five feet of me and Aife. Tilting my face a little more to the right to hide from Hale who has positioned himself at the bottom of the stairs.

So much for an easy morning.

* * *

_**29 Hours Earlier—The Morgue**_

"Doctor Lewis." I'm greeted by Nadia's polite, tightlipped smile and nod as I have grown accustomed to.

"Nadia." I smirk as I head into my office to drop off my bag.

She hates it when I call her by her first name. At first it was just an oversight of manners I guess, but now I do it intentionally just to irk her. She had never done anything intentionally to me nor was she incompetent but there is just something about her personality. Something about the way she speaks to me, like it's an inconvenience.

Taking a breath, I toss my bag over on the couch and look around, everything still untouched and awaiting my return. I have to remind myself that it's not actually my office—or at least it won't be for much longer.

I wonder if I could get a job here or more accurately keep the one I'm currently occupying. I mean the pay would be less and the cases would be a lot less interesting, but Kenzi will be here. Bo will be here. I already have a life started, I would just need to continue it.

It could work, couldn't it?

"Good morning."

I hear Bo's voice and I can't help the little smile that tugs at the corner of my mouth—then I realize she sounds so chipper to see Nadia. Taking a deep breath and trying not to focus on the morning's event nor Bo's unusual cheerfulness. Feeling safe in my self-control I turn around and come to stand in the doorway.

"Lauren?" She smiles nervously. "Didn't know you were here."

"Still my office."

"Am I interrupting?" She asks with this look I can't quite gauge. "I didn't know you'd be here but um, take mine." She offers and for a moment her words make little to no sense. Then I realize she's holding two cups of coffee.

"Nothing has fallen apart in your absence." She says through the most condescending smile I've seen lately and that's hard to achieve. Especially considering I've had Aife babysitting me the past few weeks.

"I'm sure I could find a thing or two overlooked." I return her smile and watch as she takes her coffee from Bo.

"You could try." She takes a sip before using her free hand to touch Bo's arm. "Thank you."

"Yep." Bo sort of tenses but doesn't pull away from the touch. Interesting. "Lauren?" She smiles and offers me her cup.

"Doctor Lewis is very particular about her coffee, I should know, I've gotten my share for her." Nadia chuckles as she starts back toward the empty autopsy table she had been cleaning.

"Perhaps if you could do a 'Y' incision that didn't appear to be done by an inebriated person then you would have more responsibilities."

"I don't know, I think I handled the last two pretty well." She grinds her jaw, wiping the table with her once free hand. "Seemed to find quite a bit, even helped Bo work out some theories."

"Nadia, why don't you go see if the blood work is back yet."

"I just checked this morning before I came in."

"Check again."

"Yes, Doctor Lewis." She forces out, trying to sound anything other than defiant as she drops the rag on the table and nearly bolts for the door.

"Don't think the word awkward would cover that." Bo laughs under her breath, taking a drink of her coffee.

"When she is in charge she can do as she pleases, but until that day I am still running this facility."

"I'm not arguing that." She shrugs with a smirk. "Just think you were using some excessive force there."

"Well you would know."

"Owe." Her smile fades into a grin. "I'm guessing your late night visitor was one from hell?"

"My light night visitor was fine."

"Really?"

"It was Hale, nothing serious."

"Raptors lose?"

"Nope, won by fifteen."

"Period?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry." She chuckles, I assume at my facial expression to her question. "Just trying to figure out how last night you were friendly and this morning I was expecting your head to do a three-sixty."

"I repeat, excuse me?"

"You never saw the Exorcist?" She laughs while taking two steps toward me. "What, was it like against beliefs or something?"

"No. I just chose not to watch it."

"Did I do something?" Her features now completely voice of all amusement, replaced with a concern that causes me to feel like shit.

"I'm not on my period." I know I make a face saying it, I know it's ridiculous but I've never been comfortable discussing that. "I woke up to Aife."

"Really?" Her features going from concerned to annoyed in a matter of a breath.

"Jealous?" I can't help but smile. "She apparently showed up sometime when we were sleeping, woke up with her on my couch."

"You CSIS guys have no boundaries, do you?"

"Eh. There are some, but in general there is supposed to be a feel of unity."

"Oh yeah, you two seem to be real united."

"We were at one point. I've worked on several cases with her." I sigh, defenses wavering as I go toward her. "We were friends once, had a thing—a very microscopic thing. She was always eccentric and blunt."

"I'd say you're really low balling there." She snorts, watching me as I lean against the autopsy table.

"This job-you don't know what it does to you." I admit softly. "She was eccentric and blunt but over the years-and now this-it's disgusting."

"Again low balling."

"My boss told me to let it go, to let her chase shadows. Told me it wouldn't be a concern but then this morning I find her in my apartment with something that," I trail looking down at her shoes, watching as she comes closer. "I'm really worried," I swallow hard as I bring my eyes up to meet her own. "I'm really worried that she is going to find something."

* * *

_**26 Hours Earlier—Lauren's Office**_

**(Lauren?)**

"Yeah, it's me. I'm calling from the office at the station.

**(What's wrong?)**

"Aife isn't backing down."

**(I told you, let her tire herself out.)**

"Yeah, you've been telling me a lot of things. Like how I'm not getting demoted but in actuality I'm being benched. You told me that I should let her chase shadows and now she is chasing a lot more than shadows."

**(What are you speaking of?)**

"Fishborn, Cane, Apeza, and I'm sure she has more. She is searching everything Asher and she is going to piece together enough for someone to take notice."

**(I won't let that happen.)**

"How can I be sure of that?"

**(Since when do you find me untrustworthy?)**

"Since ten years of hard work and sacrifice is being thrown away because you are worried about holes in your metaphorical ship."

**(Your brother will remain unscathed, do not question me about this again. Oh and Lauren.)**

"Yeah?"

_**(Don't forget to drop McCorrigan's packet off.)**_

"Of course-Sir."

* * *

_**24 Hours Earlier—The Dal**_

"There you go, welcome to the good guys." I say flatly ignoring the thud that comes from the inch thick folder hitting the bar top.

"Such a shame about Evony." He says just as I turn my back to him. "About everyone really, you never know how deep corruption spreads."

"Well you obviously did otherwise I wouldn't be standing here having this conversation with you." I try to walk away again but I hear him mutter something I don't quite catch. "Excuse me?" I ask turning around to face him.

"You could show me some respect, the decency of at least looking at me when speaking."

"I don't like you, I don't like what you've done and I don't like how you've manipulated your granddaughter. I don't treat you with respect because I don't have it for you."

"It wouldn't be wise to continue to stand in the way of my relationship with her."

"I'm sorry are you threatening me?" I can't help but snort. "You have no power anymore McCorrigan other than the loyalty of who? Tamsin? Dyson?"

"I did what I did to make an amends with Bo."

"You did what you did to save your own ass and it just happens that it gave you an opportunity to play the atoning grandfather." My eyebrow raises. "We don't have to like each other, we just have to find a way to coexist. Because of all the things I am uncertain of in my life the one thing I am certain of is that I want to remain in her life." I don't bother waiting for a response as I begin turning around for the third time trying to make my escape.

"I really do love her." He says and I find myself coming to a halt once again.

"And that's why I told her talk to you." I admit against my better judgment.

I don't know why I caved in and showed emotion to him of all people. In fact Bo's grandfather or not I'm still kind of disappointed he isn't behind bars right now. I'm not Evony's biggest fan but I had a respect for her because she was upfront and knew what she was. She owned what she did and who she was. Trick though seemed to change his mind every other day—guess I see where Bo gets it from.

But I do need to accept my own words. No matter what happens I do wish to keep Bo in my life one way or another. Considering Trick is unable to leave the Province now I'm sure he'll be a fixture in my life in some capacity as well.

"Excuse me." I let out, realizing I've bumped into someone while making my exit.

"Doctor."

"Dyson." I sigh looking up at him-so close. "Excuse me." I repeat looking over his shoulder at the door but he doesn't move.

"What's your hurry?"

"I'm on lunch and would actually like to eat."

"Why don't you let me take you to lunch?" he steps aside, pushing the door open for me.

"No, thank you." I walk out, one step away from praying he won't follow but it's too late.

"Come on Lauren, let's kiss and make up." I look over my shoulder at him and he just laughs. "Metaphorically of course, I know you're all tripped up over Bo—I can't blame you there."

"Can we not?"

"I was just thinking this morning about some things and realized that you and me are more alike than different."

"Okay." I nod and force a smile reaching my car but he's managed to maneuver in front of me. Hand half on the top of the window, half on the roof of the car. He's smiling at me, using what he thinks is charm to distract me from the fact he's actually keeping me from leaving—he thinks he's distracting me anyway.

"You don't agree?"

"If you're referring to my relationship with Bo then yes, I suppose we are alike in that aspect."

"Word of advice Doctor. Get a grip on reality."

"Okay." I laugh and roll my eyes reaching for the handle.

"No, you miss understand. I say this as a friend."

"Playing it pretty fast and loose with the term friend."

"I've been where you are, in fact I think that was why we butted heads so much. But the Bo-blinders are off now. She has this skill of making you believe you're the only one, that she wants you. But as soon as she knows she has you-you don't matter as much. Tell me you haven't already seen—something that makes you stop and wondering what she's doing. People like me—like you, we'll be around because she knows she has us. She'll explore and then make her rounds back to us."

"Are you done?" I asked through a clenched jaw taking his words with a grain of salt trying to keep Bo's newly formed relationship with Nadia out of my mind.

"Underneath all the tricks and seemingly vulnerability," he takes a step back, pulling open my door for me. He pauses waiting for me to face him and against my better judgment for the second time in five minutes I meet his gaze. "She's just a succubus."

* * *

_**21 Hours Earlier—Lauren's Office**_

"Got a minute?" I look up to find Tamsin timidly lingering in my doorway.

"Oh no. Agent Lewis slash Medical Examiner Lewis is off now."

"What about friend?"

"You know you're the second unexpected person to call me that today." I snort as I stand up from my desk, laptop screen finally going black.

"Come on, acquaintance then. We've had coffee, said hi to each other for months. I even offered to take the hit for the Rainer shit. It should buy me at least five minutes of your precious time."

"Five minutes." I want to say no, walk away but there is something in her voice—something written over her face that makes me take my seat again.

"I'm worried." She hesitates as she walks in. "I'm worried that-I used to get these feelings when I was little and they were always right. My whole family gets them, the women anyway. I been getting this feeling that something bad is going to happen. Like something is coming, something worse than Rainer."

"It's understandable to be worried with everything going on but as far as you're concerned you're safe now."

"I've always wanted to be a cop you know? Always. I was one of those kids who grew up wanting to be one but I just fucked up," she continues on, almost as if she doesn't hear what I'm saying. "I feel like I got a second chance you know?"

"Tamsin, what's going on?" I stand up again, realizing there is something seriously wrong.

"Nothing." She says after a solid thirty seconds of silence. She looks up from the floor and something has changed, she looks like her normal self again only-colder.

"Tamsin if-if you need protection then I can arrange it."

"No." she shakes her head and nearly bolts for the door. "It was a mistake coming here."

"Wait." I call after her but she is already near if not out of the main doors.

I contemplate going after her, checking if there really was something behind her madness other than just worrying because she's never had to do actual police work.

But I don't.

* * *

_**16 Hours Earlier-La Distillerie**_

"What?" I ask through a little chuckle that even the straw in my mouth can't help hide.

"No. Nothing." Bo just smiles that nervously confused smile she gets while looking around the establishment for the fifth time in twenty minutes.

The bar wasn't bad, it wasn't what I was used to in any sense but it wasn't bad. If you really looked at it objectively it looked like the Dal. If the Dal was a bit more run down and played country music in the background. Luckily it wasn't full on country, but the country they now play on the radio, the kind that's been mixed with rock or pop-something.

"You look so uncomfortable." I laugh taking another sip of my raspberry tea.

"Me? Uncomfortable? Pfffft." she makes this cute face and shakes her head. "I just wasn't aware you were into the whole down home, country deal."

"I'm really not. I told you what my music play-list entailed." I say with a smirk and lean back into my seat.

"Oh alright." her brow furrows as she leans in. "I don't get it then."

"Oh come on!" I let out in a laugh. "This is me making an effort."

"At?"

"What happened to Bodyguard being your favorite movie?"

"I feel like we're having two different conversations right now." she laughs out, running her hand through her hair which is unusually freely hanging down today.

"Oh God this was such a stupid idea." I sigh and shake my head at myself. "I don't know, I thought it would be cute or something. When we were texting the other night all of your favorite moments—"

"Came from movies." She nods with this bashful smile that is almost enough to subside my building embarrassment. "This is absolutely the—"

"Stupidest thing?"

"I was going to say romantic."

"Bo, come on. I just thought it would be cute, it's not a big deal."

"I'm serious." Her tone serious as she reaches out covering my hand with her own. "This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Now I know you're joking." I go to pull my hand back but she tightens her grip.

"Anyone can buy flowers and schedule a dinner-but I've never had anyone put as much thought into something as this."

"So this is the most romantic thing, hm?" my eyebrow raises, half smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.

"Yep."

"What about me risking my career? Or when I came in and wowed you with my strangers in a bar routine?"

"Why are you always so difficult?" her question in the form of a laugh as she leans back taking her hand with her.

"You wouldn't like me any other way." Smile transitioning to a smirk.

"I don't know." She shrugs and flashes that devilish smirk she gets from time to time. That one that's as adorable as it is sexy. "Easy can be nice."

"You'd get bored."

"Sometimes boring is good."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I mean sometimes thinking into the future about getting a house and a dog and a lawn—those are all normal, boring things but I find myself—"

"Enticed by the peacefulness?"

"Something like that." Her eyes dance over my face but it's the way she does when she's thinking. "Do you think you could ever do that?"

"I don't know. I mean Lachlan had that but he also had the job, he managed to have the best of both worlds. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to do that."

"Or you just find another job." She snickers. Fingertips idly running along the rim of her cup giving her something to focus on other than me.

"If only it were that easy."

"It could be."

"You think so, hm?"

"I know so. You're a freakin' genius Lauren. You could get any job you wanted. You could be a real doctor in a hospital. Or hell you could be one of those missionary doctors going to help orphans in other countries like the Congo or something. Or become a regular cop—start your own P.I. firm. Shit wait tables at some shithole if you wanted." She shakes her head at me. "We've talked about this before."

"You think I could wait tables?" I snort, brushing passed her last sentence and the irritation accompanying it.

"The point is you have the skill, the brain and the education to do anything. You hold onto this job like you would die without it."

"It's complicated."

"Maybe." She trails off, fingers now fidgeting with her straw as she looks over her shoulder at the bar. "I wonder if they carry Cuervo."

"My company not sufficient?" I ask trying to sound playful as I nudge her foot with my own.

"I wouldn't say that-exactly." She laughs catching the little, balled up napkin I toss at her. "Just things tend to get-funner with him around." She winks at me as she slides up from the table and heads for the bar. My thoughts of reminding her '_funner_' is not an actual word getting lost as my eyes fall onto her curves. "No J.C. but found the Patron." She laughs setting it down on the table along with four shot glasses.

"Exactly how did you convince him to let you have the bottle?"

"Oh, you have your skills." She pauses as she fills our glasses. "I have mine." A smirk trailing her words as she takes a seat.

"You know we could be called in."

"SHHH!" she shakes her head with a mock look of anger. "None of that. No jinxing us, just shots." She nods toward my shots as she grabs one of her own.

"Fine." I roll my eyes and down them both along with her. I had ignored my better judgment three times today all for people I wasn't exactly fond of, only seemed right I did it for her as well. "Bo." I raise a brow as she quickly fills them again and gives me the same nod. "No more." I say as seriously as I can under her intense gaze and seductive smirk.

"You okay?" she asks as I run my hand over my face.

"As your doctor," I let out with a smirk, hand covering her two glasses as she readies to dish out a third round. "I should recommend against excessive intoxication."

"Thought you enjoyed yourself the late time **WE** were excessively intoxicated."

"Enjoyed isn't exactly the word I would use but," my eyebrow raises as I take the bottle from her and place it at the back end of the table. "We don't need to be excessively intoxicated to enjoy one another's company."

"Never said we did." Her fingertips slide under mind before skillfully guiding my hand off of her glasses enough that her fingers become entwined in mine.

"What?" I ask shyly looking from her eyes to our hands.

"You know there is one thing missing from this scenario that has to happen."

"That would be?" my eyes narrow as I watch her stat to stand once again but she doesn't let go of my hand.

"Have to dance."

"Oh no, no."

"Oh yes, yes. We have to, it's the best part of that whole scene."

"Nope." I shake my head with a sheepish laugh and try to pull my hand away.

"Lauren." She says my name with the cutest pout I have ever seen.

"There isn't even a dance floor."

"What do you think this wide open space is?" she nods over her shoulder.

"Well, no one else is dancing. They might mind that we are." I'm completely aware I'm grasping at straws now.

"Look at us, no one will mind." She smirks and gives me another tug, this time I allow her to pull me up. "Ha! Perfect." She chuckles as the somewhat up tempo slows. "And that wasn't even planed."

"I'm so sure." My head shaking, the rush from the alcohol doing nothing to soothe my nerves now.

.

(((_**A woman is a mystery**__**-**__**A man just can't understand**__**-**__**Sometimes all it takes to please her**__**-**__**Is the touch of your hand**_)))

.

It was the silliest thing to think about now of all times but as I feel her arms wrap around my waste and my own drape over her neck she does seem taller. I can't help but smile thinking about her teasing me about it. It really is the silliest of things but for some reason I can't stop smiling about it now.

.

_**(((An' other times you gotta take it slow-An' hold her all night long-Heaven knows there's so many ways-A man can go wrong)))**_

_**.**_

I feel her embrace tighten ever so slightly, her hands once casually resting against my back now actually holding me. My silly smile at the silliest thing faltering under her gaze and a smile of her own that I know beyond a doubt is at something more significant than what mine was at.

.

_**(((Must be doin' somethin' right-I just heard ya sigh-Ya lean into my kiss-And close those deep blue need-you eyes**__**)))**_

_**.**_

Suddenly everything isn't so funny, isn't so silly or playful.

I feel myself leaning into her the way I always find myself doing. The woman is like gravity to me, completely inevitable.

The side of my nose just grazing hers, enough to earn the smallest of smiles. One that grows when she does it this time. It was such a trivial thing, something that only seemed cute or romantic in the movies. But the smile on her face, the intense love in her eyes tells me otherwise

.

_**(((Don't know what I did-To earn a love like this-But baby I must be doin' somethin' right)))**_

_**.**_

Our lips aren't even an inch apart but surprisingly we don't kiss. She doesn't lean in any further and neither do I.

I want to, I really do.

But I find myself leaning in just a bit more, the side of my face lightly resting against hers.

.

_**(((Anywhere you wanna go-Baby show me the way-I'm open to suggestions-Mmm, whatever you say))**_

_**.**_

I smile against her cheek, the scent of her perfume catching my attention. I can't help but think of the first time I woke up smelling it on my pillows. It was one of those moments that makes you just sleepily sigh and pull the pillow closer because they aren't in the bed with you.

"Lauren," she whispers my name forcing my eyes to flutter open again.

.

_**(((Tonight's about givin' you what you want-Whatever it takes-Girl I hope I'm on the right road-Judgin' by the smile on your face)))**_

_**.**_

I tilt my head ever so slightly toward her, my lips unintentionally brushing against her cheek. I think of pulling back, to meet her gaze but instead I just kiss her cheek. My forehead resting against her temple.

"I love you." She whispers so softly.

.

_**(((Must be doin' somethin' right-I just heard ya sigh-Ya lean into my kiss-And close those deep blue need-you eyes)))**_

_**.**_

I tilt my head back, eyes finding hers without hesitation.

"I love you too." My own whisper sneaking through a smile.

My hands sliding across the back of her neck to her cheeks, nose grazing hers once more before my lips finally meet hers. A gentle, semi-close-lipped kiss that speaks volumes to how far we've come.

.

_**(((Don't know what I did-To earn a love like this-But baby I must be doin' somethin' right)))**_

_**.**_

"No, no. Don't answer that." She whines almost, this adorable pout over her beautiful features almost enough to make me ignore the vibration in my pocket. "Lauren." She whines again, disappointed sigh following.

"I have to." I give her a soft kiss as I pull my phone from my pocket. "It'll only be a second." I flash a smile before looking down at my phone.

Smile vanishing when I see: **13 Missed Calls Aife. 7 Missed Calls Hale. 4 Missed Calls Kenzi. 2 Missed Calls Tamsin. 1 Missed Call Ciara.**

"What?" I look up to Bo's concern laced voice.

* * *

_**14 Hours Earlier—Unknown**_

"Where's Dyson?" Bo asks as we walk up the sidewalk spotting Tamsin coming at us from the other direction alone.

"Went to pick up Kenzi, her car broke down."

"What? Is she alright?" I blurt out, I had assumed her calls were for the same reason everyone else was calling us.

"Yeah, Hale was already on his way here and Dyson was only ten minutes from where she was at so I'm flying solo."

"Hey." Hale does this angry whisper-yell thing from the open door of a house we find ourselves in front of.

"What's going on?" Bo asks Tamsin as we head up the walkway, my attention on the squad car across the street with no lights on.

"Officer Lee is a friend of mine." Hale says waving back at the squad car. "Responded to a call and instead of calling it in called me."

"That's semi-illegal." I snort, it's meant to be humorous but is completely lost on the group.

"Illegal but a wise choice." Aife's voice comes from behind Hale.

Hale turns his back to us and I hang back allowing Tamsin and then Bo to go before I follow. I glance over my shoulder once more at the squad car, it just seems odd that not even his overhead light is on.

Maybe the liquor is just kicking in.

"Welcome to the house of a thousand corpses." Aife snorts as we start to reach the dining room, both Bo and Tamsin looking away.

I don't need to be within visual distance to know what they're all turning away from. I can smell it, the stench of death-of coagulated blood. I exhale, accidently taking too big of a breath causing the stench to begin coating the inside of my nostrils. Rust and vinegar make a horrible combination, or at least that's what I say it smells like. Lachlan always said it smelled like pennies to him. I didn't get it, after a while if you smelled it long enough the taste of rusted pennies would creep into your mouth. But I never shared his idea on the smell. Normally it didn't hit me as hard as it is now, I suppose the Patron is what I owe a thanks to for this.

"Excuse me." I say softly, hand on Tamsin's back as I slide passed her into the actual dining room area.

It may have been cliché but points for the effort put forth in shock value. If said killer wanted to make the news he would most certainly do it with this.

A long, wooden dining table with all eight seats set for company but only five seats are taken. The head of the table at the far left and the two seats on both sides. One male of African descent with four females two of which are obviously Caucasian.

"Do they all live here?" I ask taking a few steps in further.

"Doubt it." Aife cuts in before Hale can. "This is CSIS property and they don't look a day over fifteen."

I look up at her ready to snarl a comment back her way but there isn't one to be said. Just a reflex now I suppose.

They looked young but not fifteen they were at least eighteen to twenty—they could be CSIS, recruits anyway.

It's hard to tell in the dark with only the light from the street shining in to guide me but I don't see any defensive wounds.

But there has to be, CSIS recruits or not they all are fit and by the builds athletes of some kind. Not the type to not even attempt to run.

"Shit." I let out realizing I stepped in a pool of blood.

"Don't worry about it kiddo, we did too."

"That's not very comforting." I snort under my breath and continue around the table getting the best look I can without touching anything-without adequate lighting.

"H—how are their heads-?" Bo trails off, shaking her head as she looks away once again.

"Didn't cut all the way through. Intentional it would appear." She didn't need to finish for me to know where she was going with her question. In fact I'm a little surprised no one had asked it sooner.

"You think it's the same guy?" Bo asks managing to actually look at me this time.

"Hard to tell, they aren't cut open. But there is definitely a show aspect to it. And the brutality level is most certainly here as well."

This is a different kind of monster than Rainer-no doubt about it now.

There is a loud thud from the upstairs, the kind that makes the chandelier above us shake and before a thought could be had Hale is running up the stairs along with Tamsin.

"Come on." Aife barks as she runs for the front door causing me to follow which of course causes Bo to follow. "You see them?"

"We need to be up the stairs not outside!" Bo yells already heading back but the sound of glass shattering proves Aife's instinct were right-to a degree.

"Fuck! They always come out the front!" she gripes. "Tell the officer to call it in!" she orders already starting to run down the street in the direction we see three figures taking off, Hale's voice faintly heard yelling '_stop'_ or something similar.

I look back at Bo but this isn't a relationship thing, this isn't even a friendship thing. This is loyalty and watching a fellow agent's back.

"Tell him to call it in." I '_order_' her with a nod toward the squad car before running after Aife, a slight jump as I have to dodge the heels she's kicked off.

I can't quite catch her but she's in line of sight as is Hale and Tamsin running down the alley but I no longer see the third figure. It must be four blocks like this before I don't see Hale and Tamsin anymore. I look back but I don't see Bo-or a squad car—no backup. It's another three blocks before I catch up to Aife and that's only because she's stopped.

"Where are they?" she asks breathless and I just shake my head trying to catch my breath. "You see em'?"

"No! I don't see them." I snap breathless finally drawing my weapon as my left hand holds my stomach. I thought my stitches were more than healed—guess not quite.

I look around the alleyway that we've managed to find ourselves in, somewhere out of the housing area and into the business area. Two large buildings on either side both closed for renovation and two more further down the way.

I can't for the life of me figure out how we've missed Hale and Tamsin-how Bo and the officer haven't caught up to us. I don't even hear sirens.

"Tighten up." She says tapping my arm and starting to walk further up, one careful step after another. "How do you think they'd hold up in close combat?"

"What?" I spin around at the sound metal hitting metal but there is nothing-maybe the wind.

"It looked like a wire was used right? That would make me assume our boy would need to get close if he was gonna try and take em' on right?"

"Theoretically." I turn back around, left hand going onto her shoulder as we near a grouping of industrial sized, construction garbage cans, the kind that make for great hiding places.

My hand switching to her right shoulder letting her know to scope out the opposite way.

Where is Bo? Where is back up? Where is Hale or Tamsin? How did this guy get away from all of us?

A series of gun shots halts my wondering, both of us spinning around and looking at the first building passed.

"How many was that? Eight?"

"I counted six."

I follow her back toward the first building on our right. A cautious run from us and as much as I worried about the shots fired I know we're going to need to hear another burst to figure out exactly where they are.

Sticking closely behind her I try to remember the amount of shots fired. Was she right, was it eight? I try to remember their profiles, remember if they are a double tap or triple tap. If they were triple I could rest on the hope that both were fine and shot at said suspect. If they were double then where did the other two come from? From the killer? From only one of them?

"Call out or no?" she whispers, tilting her head back a bit as we walk from the stairwell onto the third floor. The first set of doors that hadn't been chained.

"No." it could be a costly mistake but calling out could be one as well. "Not yet." I let go of her shoulder falling a few steps back.

There's no walls just tons of support beams, almost reminds me of a parking garage without the lights. Dust hanging thickly in the air like a blanket making it hard to breathe, hard to see.

I hear a groan and then a thud all before I feel sting across my lower back—then my knees as I fall to them. A gargled yell as I feel a forearm crushing my windpipe pulling me back up to my feet.

I've lost my weapon.

I jerk forward trying to throw myself to the floor to give Aife a shot but he knows the move jerking me back up so hard my feet leave the ground.

"I don't have a clear shot!" Aife's voice, her desperation ringing in my ears. The world beginning to become distorted and I know it's because of lack of oxygen but I'm passed the point of being able to calm myself.

My vision blurs, blackness engulfing me until I see nothing. The sound of gunshots ring in my ear. It's painful and loud but almost as if I'm under water. I feel something cold and hard against the side of my face before I taste—pennies-no it's blood.

Coughing my eyes open at the sound of two shots echoing once again. This time I blurrily see a hooded figure fall a few feet from me. A distorted voice calling my name that I can't register. I tilt my head up to find Aife laying on the ground in front of me—it's not her.

"Lauren?" I look up at the hand on my shoulder.

"Get—ge-"

"What?" she cups my cheek and I'm trying to tell her something but it's unnecessary now.

The hooded figure jumping up to his feet and bolting for the door, Bo runs after but he's caught her off guard, she won't catch him.

Feeling my head returning to normal I push myself onto my knees, crawling the few feet over to Aife. Her eyes are closed, a good amount of blood pooling underneath her but I search for a pulse.

There isn't one.

* * *

_**Present**_

I look to my left finding Hale, or more accurately my eyes finding the black piece of cloth wrapped around his badge. Bo and Dyson standing next to him stone faced, seemingly unfazed by the gawking vultures-maybe they are just still in shock about a loss of a friend, of a partner.

"**Is it true?! Was CSIS helping the investigation of Rainer Prideux?! If so why did it take so long to catch him?! Is it time we call in other assistance?! Are we I a state of emergency?! Should the citizens of Montreal be worried?! Is it true this killer has knowledge of police practices?!**"

I look back out into the crowd demanding blood with no more answers than I had last night. No more than I had this morning going through paper after paper. No more than I had five minutes before this press conference while being coached by Ciara.

Asher may not be demoting me but he sure as hell was offering the people what they wanted.

A sacrificial lamb.


	14. Weak

**A.N.** Just a quick rundown, this Chap is a tiny one simply because it's only job is to serve as a bridge to the next part. Next Chap will be soon to follow. Then the update after will be that last Chap and the Epilogue (together). Just wanted to prepare everyone the end is quickly approaching.

Thank you.

* * *

_**Chapter Fourteen: Weak**_

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**(Lauren's Pov) **

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"You alright?"

I look over at her, the creaking of the door shutting behind her grabbing my attention more than the sound of her voice.

"Are you alright?" she more or less repeats herself, this time a little more concerned than annoyed.

"I don't like attention nor media." I look back down into the sink and try to get the nausea in my stomach to subside.

"Brings back memories?" she asks timidly but I can't help the way my attention snaps to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like it sounded. I just—"

"It does." I answer flatly, eyes falling back onto my own reflection.

"Do you want me to take you back home?"

"No, I'll take myself."

"Okay."

"I have a lot of CSIS work to do Bo, it's not personal." I run my hand through my hair before forcing a soft smile at her. "Ciara will be hanging around here if you need anything work related."

"And non-work related?" her tone gentle and shy almost.

"I'll call you later."

* * *

_**Coaster Drive-4:15 p.m.**_

"I thought you weren't going to be around?"

"Yeah, well my boss' display of power isn't quite finished yet." I snort, leaning against the wall as I slip a pair of covers over my shoes.

"Okay." She just nods at me and waits at the doorway of the dining room.

I want to talk to her, tell her that this change in my mood has nothing to do with her. That whatever coldness she is picking up on isn't her doing but with us words just never seem to come easy.

I walk up to meet her, our eyes meeting and for a moment I almost smile—almost.

"Ciara not capable of processing a scene?"

"She is, but I am not capable of taking a break." I snort looking over the table, the bodies long gone but everything else remaining untouched. "My punishment."

"Aife's death wasn't your fault."

"Maybe." I look down at one over several dried pools of blood.

"It wasn't."

"Was or wasn't it's not what my punishment is for, not completely anyway."

"For us?" her words near a whisper as she turns her back to me looking at blood splatter on the wall.

"I think it's just punishment for the sake of punishment."

"Can't tell you how jealous I am of your job." She snorts, shaking her head.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm looking over the crime scene. What do you mean?" she turns around with this confused yet annoyed look.

"The scenes been processed Bo, only reason I'm here is because I'm being punished. Why—"

"I can't stand being at the station." She admits, her head hanging. "Hale is so guilt ridden over not being able to protect Tamsin. Dyson is pissed and angry that he wasn't there to help. Everyone is just feeling so—"

"Defeated?"

"Yeah." She nods, eyes meeting mine.

"It wasn't your fault either Bo."

"I let him get away."

"What were you going to do? Chase after him by yourself? Backup was nowhere to be found, Aife was shot, I was down."

"I should have been able to do more."

"There was nothing more you could have done." I take a breath and walk over to her, she takes a step back but only a step. "Last night was a horrible series of mistakes from everyone, and no one will ever forget it. But it wasn't your fault. It wasn't Dyson's fault for not being there. It wasn't Hale's fault. This guy knows law enforcement but more than that, he knows us."

"You mean my department."

"No, I mean us." I sigh and pull my gloves off. "The layout of this house, it would have been logical to jump out the front windows but he didn't. He risked getting caught by going through the back, had they been just seconds faster he'd have been caught."

"But if he went out the front then he would have run into the three of us."

"Exactly."

"It's a cop." She says flatly, looking into my eyes with this sense of defeat I can't quite understand.

* * *

_**Tanguray Detention Center-6:24 p.m.**_

"Come to spring me already," Evony leans back in her chair, smirk on her lips as she watches me walk to the seat across from her. "I was just starting to like this shithole."

"I'm not here to release you."

"What? Really?" she sits up straight, smirk all but gone now. "I was kidding, I'm completely fine with leaving now. As in right now."

"Evony, I'm not here about your release. I'm here to give you some news and possibly find something useful out."

"Unless it's about my release I don't really give—"

"Tamsin is dead."

"How?" she leans forward, hands resting on the table. There is almost enough reaction to give the illusion she care, perhaps she does in her own way.

"Shot three times, center mass."

"So the rumors are true, it's a cop?"

"You know as much as we do at the moment." I admit, trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I don't really know how I can help you." She holds her hands up gesturing to her surroundings, but there is a slight, unexpected tenderness to her voice now.

"I want you to tell me about her. Everything that isn't in reports."

"I don't think she killed herself Agent." she snorts with a smirk.

"It's not her I'm looking at."

"My, my Doctor. What games are you playing at now?"

* * *

_**Outside -9:57 p.m.**_

Leaning against my seat I pull out my phone which hasn't stopped vibrating for the past two hours. Several missed text from various CSIS, nothing important.

Then there's Bo.

_**Bo:**_ _I know you're busy but I really would like to see you. You and not work you. __**(9:30 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ _Hey. I'm sorry I was working. __**(9:58 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ _It's fine. I know work comes first. __**(9:58 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ _Are you okay? __**(9:59 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ _Sure. __**(9:59 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ _What's wrong Bo? __**(9:59 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ _Nothing. __**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ _Have you been drinking? __**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ _Yea. __**(10:00 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ _Where are you? __**(10:01 p.m.)**_

_**Bo:**_ _The Dal. __**(10:01 p.m.)**_

_**Me:**_ _Don't leave. I have to run home to change and then I'll meet you. __**(10:02 p.m.)**_

* * *

_**Lexington Commons—10:36 p.m.**_

Quickly making my way through the living room to the island, I toss my bag atop and kick off my shoes. Trick may be CSIS property now but I still don't trust a vulnerable and drunk Bo alone with him—or Dyson who would most likely be there as well.

Shedding my shirt and pants I don't even bother flipping the switch on, the light above the sink proving to be a dim but adequate source.

Stumbling over to the couch where I had neatly folded a pair of sweats and a tee, something that I had planned to slip into and sleep the day away.

"Where are you in a hurry to?" I can't help but jump at the sound of her voice. Spinning around pants still in hand, I find her staring down at me from half way up the stairs. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Just scared me is all." I raise an eyebrow, something about her seems off but I can't really focus on that now.

"Where are you going?"

"To get Bo, she's drunk."

"Of course." She smirks, eyes narrowing in on me as I slip into my pants.

"Can we not fight now, please?" I pull my shirt over my head, ready to leave but I stay still. Something seems really off—then again nothing has seemed right between us in months. "It's been a shit day."

"It's been a shit year Lauren," she pauses as she comes down the stairs in almost a predatory way. She's looking for a fight? "Should be used to it by now."

"Some days more than others." I move passed her to the island, shuffling through my bag to find my keys.

"Not even going to ask if I'm okay?"

"You seem fine, beyond fine actually." I force a smile and glance up, hand still shuffling through the bag. "If you weren't you wouldn't be aiming for a fight."

"I'm not looking for a fight."

"You are."

"I'm not." She snickers.

"Kenzi I know you."

"There's quite a bit about me you don't." she smirks icily, arms folding over her chest as she stares me down.

"Okay fine, I don't." I shrug and nod, finally finding my keys. "I told you I don't want to fight." I hurry passed her heading for the door hoping I can get away before she goes in for the kill. She has always been one to go for the nastiest blow if her subtle attempts at starting a fight doesn't work.

"You could have at least showed some concern about your sister being left in the middle of nowhere."

"I told you I was sorry." My hand on the doorknob as I come to a halt but I don't turn back around.

"You sent a text."

"I'm sorry I didn't call, it wasn't exactly an easy night."

"Do you even know what time I got home?" she snorts. "Left alone for hours, no word from you or anyone. I had to hear about what happened to you on the news."

"Dyson didn't tell you?" I ask, voice softening at the wave of guilt I can't help but feel.

"Dyson? What the hell does he have to do with this?"

"Didn't he pick you up?" I ask turning around, her features twisted in pure annoyance. But beyond the annoyance there is a sense of hurt. Beyond that is confusion, and that is what grips my attention.

"No, why would Dyson pick me up?"

"Because Hale told him that you were stuck and Dyson was closer to where you were, that's why he wasn't with us last night."

"Lauren I don't know what kind of messed up communication you all have going on, but I didn't get home until seven this morning."

"So he didn't pick you up?" I mutter under my breath more as a question to myself than her.

"No, he didn't." she sort of snaps, annoyance lacing her tone. "I haven't seen or even talked to Dyson in a couple days."


	15. Final Masquerade

_**Chapter Fifteen: Final Masquerade**_

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_**(Lauren's Pov)**_

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_**Friday**_

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_**Lexington Commons—9:45 a.m. **_

"Lauren."

I hear Kenzi's voice the same way I've heard Bo's umpteen calls of my name along with Hale's gentle attempts and even Dyson's pitying efforts. They seem to think I can't hear them, I can—I'm just choosing not to listen.

I was so sure I had been moving on, so sure I was done with this.

The mangled body of a twenty-five year old female displayed on the floor of the apartment one floor below me, with a striking resemblance to Cassidy tells me I was wrong.

I keep staring at her thinking that maybe if I look hard enough I'll realize it was just a tired and stressed mind playing tricks on me. But nothing changes, not a single detail. The hair color and cut identical. The red York University shorts and black tank another identical 'coincidence'. The displacement of the room identical to the original—it's an image that was burned into my memory.

Everything is staged perfectly and I suppose that's why they think I've found myself frozen here, staring at a perfect imitation of Cassidy's murder—it's not. I've showed these photos class after class. These photos are accessible on the web if you knew where to look. It's not the staging accurately mimicked that makes this a perfect imitation. No, it's the one thing that wasn't in the photos or reports that's here that makes this a perfect imitation.

A single, old, green rosary clutched in her left hand.

I know it' the same one that went missing from my box. I don't need to inspect it any closer, I just know it is.

* * *

_**Lexington Commons—10:14 p.m.**_

"Hey," I hear Bo's voice just as I kick the last pile of folders across my floor. "Hey, what is going on?" she asks as she shuts the door behind herself.

I don't answer her though, instead I run my hands through my hair and look down at the mess I've made. Months no years' worth of files tossed over the floor, under the couch, under my feet all with a blatant disregard for their preservation.

"Lauren, talk to me." Her voice is hard but her concern for me seeps through as it always does, she is always such an open book.

"I don't want to talk." I snap, finally looking over at her. "I'm tired of talking."

"So your alternative was destroying city and federal property?" her eyebrow raises as she looks down at a piece of paper near her foot that's been ripped into two.

"Why not?" I shrug and look away. "It's not like it matters anymore."

"Of course it matters."

"Why?"

"Because it does."

"But why?" I force my eyes up to hers' once more. "I'm not going to have a job after this and if I do it's going to be in Antarctica, ice fishing for experiment polar bears' dinner. Which by the way I am against."

"They can't seriously blame you for this-for any of it."

"They blame me. The public now blames me." I snort and shake my head. "Hell, I blame myself."

"Stop." She snaps at me and everything inside me feels like it wells into this huge ball of anger, for a moment I'm so sure I'm going to snap. So sure I'm going to lose my temper, my patience with her. But I notice the shine to her eyes even through the dimness of my poorly lit living room. I see the way she swallows hard and her gaze is so intently focused on me, I don't think she could look away if she tried. "Stop." She repeats herself, this time it's a soft whispers as she takes several cautious steps toward me, no longer concerned with the papers underneath her feet.

"This-this is personal Bo." I clench my jaw, anger melting away under her concern filled gaze.

"I know." She nods with a soft admittance. It almost seems as if she had realized this long before I did, sense of calm yet sorrow coming off of her in waves.

"Then how can you not think this is my fault?"

"You aren't responsible for anyone's actions but your own. Yeah, this guy is killing people and it's horrible. But you know what? He's a sick fuck who likes to kill. Yeah maybe he has a personal interest in you but if you weren't here then he would still be killing."

"You don't know that."

"Really?" her nostrils flare as she speaks. "You know deep down that this isn't your fault." She reaches out, hands on my waste as she looks into my eyes searching-always searching for something.

"Then why do I feel like I'm responsible?"

"Because," she hesitates flashing me the gentlest smile I've ever seen in my life. Her right hand reaching up and cupping my cheek as her thumb wipes away a stray tear I wasn't even aware of. "Underneath this icy exterior that you've built, you are so sensitive."

"I'm not." I shake my head, trying to look away from her.

"You are and it's okay." She leans in kissing my lips softly, it's not sexual but comforting. "Your secret is safe with me." Her forehead rests against mine, her arms wrapping around me just holding me close.

I want to pull away-only I really don't.

* * *

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_**Saturday**_

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_**Lexington Commons—1:26 a.m.**_

"I thought you were with Hale?" Bo says pulling my mind from the rare comfort of a dreamless sleep.

"No, I don't spend every waking moment with him." Kenzi snaps as I hear the click of the door. I want to sit up and run interference but I just don't have the strength. Perhaps if I lay really still and silent they will trade their few barbs and then leave each other alone.

"Where were you then?"

"Are you my mother?"

"Have I done something personally to you Kenzi?" Bo asks as she slams down a stack of papers—or folders—I can't be sure, my sister's snort muffling the sound.

"No," there is a long pause of silence and had I believed that anything would ever go my way I would have thought Kenzi had gone upstairs but I've heard no footsteps so I know I'm not so lucky. "Never." Her voice dulls a bit as I hear the fridge open.

"Your sister needs you, you know."

"Going to give me lessons on family relationships now?" she chuckles, the fridge slamming shut. "That's rich."

"Just an observation."

"Oh excuse me, an observation." She snorts. "An actual observation coming from the world's best detective, can't wait to hear it." I can hear the sarcasm, the distain practically dripping off of every letter of Kenzi's sentence. "Do me a favor Bo and don't worry about my family anymore."

"We've somehow gone from Lauren to family?"

"I know you've been talking to Sarah."

"Only a few times."

"Well it's not needed."

"Why don't you tell me how you really feel?" Bo snorts under her breath, a sigh involuntarily escaping me knowing that despite that I finally heard Kenzi heading up the stairs, this would be the retort that would start World War Three.

I hear the creek of the step, the fourth step up to be exact since it's the only one that does so. I know Kenzi has stopped and if I know her at all I'm sure she has turned around by now to stare Bo down.

"How I really feel is that you aren't good enough for Lauren. How I really feel is that you are one of the most selfish people I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. You say you always wanna help people but you only ever help yourself." There is a silence and then a creek of the step, I can't tell whether she's taken a step up or down. "I don't think there's a selfless bone in your body. I think you're just using my sister like you've used everyone else and sooner or later you're gonna grow tired of her just like you've done every time before. Excuse me if I'm not thrilled about picking up the pieces of the mess you'll leave behind."

There is a long pause of silence followed up with a slight thud that causes me to tense until I realize it's just Bo. I want to stay here and continue to play dead, to let the storm pass but there's a part of me that can't bear the thought of her being left alone with my sister's words.

Slowly I push myself up expecting to have to search for her but there's no searching required, she's already staring at me. I was sure I would have something to say to comfort her, to tell her I didn't believe Kenzi's words but I find words escaping me at the moment.

Another unspoken conversation that does more damage than the most hurtful words we've spoken to one another.

* * *

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_**Monday**_

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_**Third Floor Homicide Unit—12:26 p.m**_

**(Well, I guess you're busy again-big surprise. I really needed you for backup but-never mind. I'm sorry I just-look I think I found something. Something big and something that needs to stay off the books, at least for now. Until I'm a thousand percent sure. I'm gonna call Hale and get him to back me up. Just—if you don't hear from me by one—start your snoopy, CSIS deal. I left you what you need to find me if something goes wrong. Oh-and Lauren, I love you.)**

What am I missing?

I can't help but sigh leaning back in her desk chair, eyes up on the clock above the hallway. Pulling the phone from my ear I contemplate listening once more, but honestly what is the eighth time going to tell me that the first seven hasn't. Eyes falling back down to her desk that I've combed through from top to bottom.

She said she left me what I would need in order to find her but I see nothing. There is nothing here out of the ordinary, there isn't even a single case file. Her apartment, my first stop the same. Nothing—off. Nothing that screams, '_Hey Lauren, come find me at—wherever the hell I am'_.

What could she have possibly found that she needed to be so secretive? What could cause her to go off on her own? Well I'll assume she got Hale's help considering I haven't been able to reach him either.

I look around the sea of desks to find myself alone, where is everyone? Did she call Dyson too? Was there some service call I missed?

Looking back over the desks, I start to bring my phone back up to my ear until my eyes stop on Hale's desk.

Clever.

Practically jumping up from her seat I make my way to his desk, shuffling papers around-everything is his. Case notes, all his handwriting. Pulling drawer after drawer open finding nothing other than what belongs.

What am I even looking for?

My eyes run over his desk once more. Folders-files-papers-stickies-phone—air freshener-mini Snoopy skiing statue—computer screen—keyboard—more stickies.

What am I missing?

Letting out a groan I bring myself to my feet, shoving my phone in my pocket. Whatever Bo was so sure I would be able to find isn't here. I'll try her place again, call Kenzi to check our apartment.

My knees lock after just three steps, my conscious mind taking a second to catch up with whatever it is I think I've realized. Looking over my shoulder at his desk, small smirk pulling at my lips as it hits me. Reaching out I pick up his little statue and flip it over, smirk turning into a full on smile. An address written in tiny letters across his skis.

Very, very clever Bo.

* * *

_**Pierre &amp; Jerome's—1:00 p.m.**_

She couldn't have picked a better place.

I snort looking up at the lengthy abandoned factory as I get out from my car. The building alone standing at least two city blocks and that's not including the unoccupied land, the fenced off areas for generators and whatever else that didn't pop up when I googled it. Had it not been for the array of cars scattered about I wouldn't have even known I was at the entrance.

Shutting the door I look around as I walk to the trunk. I see Bo's car and Hale's both too far apart to have arrive together. Perhaps he got a voice mail too. Then there is Dyson's car which would explain why he wasn't at the station. Pushing the trunk open I glance over my shoulder looking for another car or two but there isn't.

"Shit." I mutter under my breath finding myself staring into an empty trunk. I could have sworn I left my vest in here.

The burst of gunshots echoing pulls my attention to the building, instinctively drawing my sidearm. So much for safety. Quickly pulling out my cell I punch in Ciara's number before tossing the phone in the trunk and cautiously jogging toward the door. I suppose I could have taken another minute to actually tell her what's happened. But I know how this will work. I won't respond, she'll call twice, maybe three times and when there is no answer she'll track it. Once seeing the obscure location she'll come with backup. CSIS is a lot of things, and predictable is most certainly one. I suppose that's how our killer knew to jump from the back windows rather than the front-knew Aife's train of thought. Knew mine too considering he knew I'd follow her and by those standards knew Bo's-knew she'd follow me

Pulling the door open I glance around, my heart speeding up realizing there was far too many similarities to the building where Tamsin and Aife died. It's beyond obvious dark, dirty and rundown doesn't throw off our killer.

Farm boy? Poor inner city kid? Construction background?

Shaking off the thought I try and focus, they've completely gutted the place so there is nothing but space and dirt and then some more space. Easy to see anyone, only problem was there is so much of it. The three of them plus our killer could be any number of places.

Unless it's two of them and our killer….

Another thought I try and shake off. Dyson wasn't our guy-he couldn't be. There were too many ties. Too many alibies that checked out. I had spent a decent amount of time into looking into him. The Cassidy Copycat kill alone cleared him, two separate detectives placed him at the station.

But if he is clear-why is he standing with a gun on my sister?

Better question is why does my sister have a gun on him?

"Shoot him!" Kenzi yells, his attention going from her to me—he almost looks scared

"Me? Lauren it's her! She shot Hale in the back and then Bo—"

"Liar!"

I take several steps forward to find myself standing next to Hale's motionless body, a pool of blood under him so I know whatever has happened he's been hit. How serious though, I can't be sure of.

"Both of you put them down now." I order, my eyes moving to Bo who is lying unconscious about fifty feet from me. No blood though—must have hit her vest.

"No." he shakes his head. "I'm sorry Lauren but she's your sister, you won't watch her the way you would with me—with anyone else. All it'll take is one second and she'll put a bullet in me and then you."

"You're fucking insane." She spits out, trying to look like a natural drawing down on him. "Lauren he came out of nowhere and shot Hale and then he was gone. Bo said to stay with Hale—and then he just appeared again out of nowhere."

"Out of nowhere?" he snorts shaking his head and taking a step away from her. "She's lost her mind Lauren! Listen to that, it doesn't even make senses. Look around us-where could I have vanished too?" the slight echo of his voice doing nothing to help Kenzi's claim of events.

"You can't seriously believe him?" Kenzi looks over at me, this purely terrified look written over her face. The only problem was—he looked just as terrified. "Lauren, it's me. Your sister."

"Don't listen to her." He snaps. "Ask her where she was the night Tamsin died. I was there waiting on her—she wasn't there."

"That's bullshit! Lauren?!"

"Both of you, put the weapons down." I order again, eyes shifting back down to Bo.

"Her first."

"Fuck you."

"You can either both put them down now—or we're going to stay like this until backup arrives." I shift my aim from him to her as I notice her finger starting to press the trigger. "Don't." I warn. "Where was Bo hit?"

"Three in the chest. I think the vest got them all." Dyson answers, eyes shifting between me and Bo. Three center mass, our killer's seeming preference-Dyson's too-Kenzi's as well. I shake my head, warning myself to not even go there.

My eyes narrow in on her index finger which keeps the trigger angled back just a bit. She looks so scared, so nervous but-it's not real. Why is she lying? Her hands are trembling ever so slightly but it looks more intentional than a result of fear-or adrenaline.

I try to stop my mind from running further down the rabbit hole, try to keep it here in the now. But I can't help to remember random things that suddenly make so much sense in a stomach turning type of way. All the times I couldn't find Kenzi, couldn't even reach her. All of the times Hale lied and said they were together when I could clearly tell they weren't. All of her unusual behavior—anger.

Could it be?

If I didn't know her would I see her as a suspect? Her past….the change in behavior…the training I know she has which would not only aid her in everything but prevent her current 'panic'…..the trauma she's suffered recently that any singular situation could have acted as a trigger. I wouldn't think twice before pulling her in for questioning.

But I do know her-she's my sister.

"Wh-why are you here?"

"What?" she asks in this chuckled snort, eyes shifting from him to me.

"Kenzi why are you here?"

"This isn't the time." She glances over at me and for the first time in my life I have no clue what's running through her mind. "Hale told me that he was coming to back up Bo—something he said didn't sit right. It unintentionally tipped me off to this place."

"How would you even know about this place?"

"Bo has clouded your judgment Lauren, you know she has. I've been looking into things on my own-I just wanted this all to be over and you've been missing things."

"She's been stalking us." Dyson snaps grabbing my attention, aim shifting to him. "Think like a fucking cop Lauren."

Problem is I am, for once in a very long time I am. I'm not thinking as a sister, if I was I would have put two in his shoulder already and let the chips fall where they would. I'm not thinking like Bo's complication, if I was I wouldn't be looking at him with a new level of suspicion.

He isn't far behind Kenzi on my list of lost credibility. He looks so concerned, so scared to an extent and it's believable but if I look into his eyes there's something missing. He isn't pulling on the trigger in the least as his accuser is which makes me doubt exactly how nervous he really is

As far as his whereabouts-I haven't been tracking them for a while now. For all I know he could be sleeping outside my window at night. He is a dick in the true sense of the word, never should have been a cop and has done some very illegal things but he wasn't a terrorist. I knew that without a doubt, he was just another idiot from the department that didn't know what he was getting himself into. But the question at hand wasn't whether or not he was a terrorist, it's whether or not he's a serial killer.

I know I've overlooked so many things with Kenzi for so many reasons, so many so I actually find myself doubting her now. But at the same time I know I've overlooked twice as many with him for Bo.

Kenzi gets a check mark in every box except one-I'm all but sure it was a man the night that Tamsin died. Dyson gets a check mark in every box except those that place him at, at least two separate kills.

"She's going to shoot!" he yells pulling my attention back to reality, my aim to her. "Shoot her or I will. I'm not dying here."

"Lauren shot him!" she yells herself, taking a step back tightening her elbows in response to his own change of posture.

They're both aiming for a kill shot and I can feel myself starting to panic but I can't stop it. I can't stop the fear raging inside of me. The wave of panic that is taking over every thought. My mind so jumbled that I'm not even sure I'm breathing anymore.

Dyson….Kenzi….Dyson….Kenzi…...

My aim shifting between both as I watch them get that look, a look that is near unexplainable yet undeniable. The look you get when you've made peace with what's about to happen. The look that says you know fully you may die and you're at peace with it. The look that says you know you're about to take someone else's life and you're at peace with that too.

Kenzi….Dyson….Kenzi….Dyson….

My eyes shift between the two one last time watching as both of their fingers begin to pull back on the trigger.

For the first time in a long time I'm frozen. Logic and reason all but gone along with emotion that I've convinced myself has clouded my judgment.

In this moment I rely solely on something I swore I never would again and pull the trigger twice praying that I haven't just made the biggest mistake of my life.


	16. Gods And Monsters

_**A.N.** _In an attempt to update faster I am posting the last real chapter now, and the epilogue tomorrow rather than to keep everyone waiting. And a HUGE thanks to InevitablyWicked19 for being the amazing person she is and error-checking this chapter.

Pokie.

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_**Chapter Sixteen: Gods And Monsters**_

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I find myself just staring, not at him or even at her but rather at the blood beginning to pool under her.

She's so still, so silent and of all the things I could be thinking of, of all the things I **should** be thinking of, all I can remember now is when she tried riding a bike for the first time. Kenzi being Kenzi of course had to ignore all rational advice and do things her way. Forget the elbow pads, knee pads and helmet. Forget all of the advice and rules. This tiny girl hopped on and peddled as fast as her little legs would allow until she hit the curb and flipped completely over. As I ran to her she didn't make a sound, didn't move a muscle. She just laid so perfectly still-so still I thought certainly she had lost consciousness. I remember falling to my knees, pushing the little blue bike away and scooping her tiny body into my arms praying she was still alive even. Then after a couple of seconds this hushed sound pulled my attention back down to her, and there in my arms she was smiling up at me through tears and blood telling me that everything was going to be okay.

I keep waiting for her to sit up and tell me it's all going to be okay.

I could swear I hit her in the shoulder twice-she should still be conscious. Did Dyson get off a shot as well? Did I miss it? Did I miss?

"Shit." He says in this sigh as I watch him move the gun from her hand with his foot. "Thank you." He gives me this weak smile, possible the first genuine emotion I've ever seen from him. "Backup should be here soon, they'll get a bus here in no time." He nods trying to make his false concern sound reassuring as he holsters his weapon. "Check if Bo's vest held up, I'll check on Hale."

I nod with a sniff as I holster my weapon. Backup will be here any minute, as long as he feels comfortable I won't have to worry about an altercation.

"Lauren-"

I look up from Bo to Dyson's call of my name before I've even moved just as I hear a gunshot. I feel my body fall to the ground and for a moment the world is spinning out of control. My stomach twisting in knots, my head feeling as though it's been stuck in the blender as my left ear continues to ring.

I find myself rolling onto all fours as I involuntarily begin to feel my breakfast coming up at an alarming speed. I try to breathe, try to stop the coughing but it's too late.

"Shit." I say to myself-at least I think I say it aloud, the ringing in my ear is too distracting to tell. Gasping for air I look to my right over to where Dyson was-is. His body lying next to my sister's, his weapon having fallen from his hand. The image of watching the bullet enter his forehead and taking off the back of his skull flashing to the forefront of my mind.

I see a pair of black pants walk in front of my line of sight going toward them and then I realize they're only going toward my sister. The figure kneels down, free hand on her neck feeling for what I assume is a pulse. Believe it or not my only thought at the moment is wanting to ask if she has one. I try to form the words but by the time I begin trying he's at my side, heel of his shoe in my ribs kicking hard enough to flip me over onto my back.

"H-Hale?" I choke out his name, brow furrowing in confusion, in pain.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" he yells, hands shaking in anger. "Why the fuck would you shoot Kenzi instead of that piece of shit?!"

"I—I—"

"Speak up!" he yells again as he bends to one knee, free hand wrapping around the back of my head forcing me half way up. "I can't hear you!"

"She's-she's wea—"I'm cut off as he drops me and stands back up.

"Do you know hard it was to get him to shoot me?! To back him into that much of a corner?!"

"W—what?" I cough out, his voice still muffled.

"All you had to do was kill him. That's fucking it! They would have found everything pointing back to him. But no, of all times you decide to start thinking like a damn cop. Now look what you've gone and done." He paces back and forth in front of me and as much as I'm trying to force my mind clear-I just can't stop the room from spinning. "FUCK!" he screams at the top of his lungs, waving is hands in the air as if pushing something away from himself. "What am I supposed to do now?!"

"Hale," I let out pushing myself into a sitting position. "Kenzi is-"

"Don't you dare say her name!" he snaps, spinning around, and for the first time I catch something. Like a freight train his words seem to catch up to me. "Months of planning this Lauren! It was planned perfectly! All you had to do was play your part! Now look what you've gone and done."

"I don't-it wasn't Dyson was it?"

"Dyson? You thought that the fuck with an attention span of a Chihuahua could do all of this? Could actually plan all of this? The brain dead asshole couldn't even figure out that his double dealing side job was aiding terrorists. Stupid piece of shit." He snaps, spitting on Dyson's body. "Everything was perfect, Lauren." He looks as me with this expression of heartbreak and maybe it's because I'm still not sure what is happening but I feel for him, I hurt for him. "I had accounted for everything. Everything Lauren, just like you taught us but-you-"

"Taught you?" I sit up a little more, the ringing in my ear almost bearable. My left hand extended behind myself for support as the right holds my stomach.

"You don't remember me?" he raises an eyebrow, glaring down at me. "It's fine. I looked a lot different then. About fifty pounds heavier and a lot younger. It was your first lecture, God it was amazing. Everything you said was just brilliant. Killers, they all look up to pieces of shit like Gacy or Cane but not me. I mean you-you walk the line so skillfully. Listening to you speak was like getting a glimpse of God. Your words were scripture to me." He looks at me with almost a sense of longing. "You said something that day that would forever change my life."

"True power lays not in pure force but in the absolute control of that force." He says the first word and I finish the sentence along with him.

"Before that I was some dumb kid everyone forgot about with violent tendencies I couldn't control. I was aiming to be another fucking statistic. Another gutter rat kid who couldn't cope with the stress of a fucked up life so I'd be out there killing. Probably on a corner somewhere selling drugs. But then-then I heard you speak-it was like this-my whole world opened up Lauren."

"I—I'm sorry—"

"Oh please don't. You'll only be insulting me as well as yourself. I know you're going to try and profile me, I don't need it. I'm very much aware of why I do what I do. I'm very much aware of how sick it is, but what I'm trying to tell you is that you've saved me. By saving me you've saved countless lives. These people I kill-they're nothing."

"They're human beings."

"Human beings?" he snorts at me as if I've disgusted him somehow. "That so called poor defenseless victim from Friday was spreading her legs to every man, woman and animal that would come along. But I'm not that sick Lauren, being a whore isn't punishable by death-no, she had HIV and never warned a single partner, never once wore protection. The five before that? All pre-killers that we would without a doubt be hunting in a few years. The one of them liked to torture small animals for amusement, you know what that's an indication of. Another liked to volunteer with the elderly and mix their pills-for fun. Like the way some of them would foam at the mouth as a reaction, others the way their eyes glassed over." He's almost snarling now. "Dyson? You know the people he was dealing with? People that like to chop up women and children. Shot the Collins boy for no reason, took Bo's gun and tried to get her arrested just so she wouldn't leave him. Oh and please let's not forget today," he waves his gun holding hand in the air gesturing around us. "I painted the fucker in a corner so much he was willing to kill all of us just to get out of it."

"And Tamsin?" my brow raises, my head almost completely clear now.

"Collateral damage that teetered on the line of acceptability. She was a hard one though, I will admit that." He shakes his head. "But it came down to a simple weighing the pros and cons. Her life wasn't worth more than yours or Bo's or mine. I had given her so many opportunities to back out of everything. Gave her so many opportunities to forget about me, but she just wouldn't."

"How'd you do it? I was there, I saw-"

"Some speed-head, a fucking nobody. Told him what to do and he played his part, hurting you wasn't part of the plan but Tamsin put the pieces together a little too fast. I really tried not to hurt you. I thought one massive blow would have put you down and been better than several but-I didn't account for the fact that you're used to being hit."

"Was Aife collateral damage," I start moving onto my knees carefully so, so that the balls of my feet are pressing the floor making it easier to jump up when the time would come. "Or was—"

"Opportunity I couldn't pass up. I mean these last few kills had a sole reason, but there I was staring her down and-it was too good of an opportunity. You know what she was. You know that she enjoyed her job just a little too much. She wasn't killing to save people anymore, she wasn't torturing for reasons other than she enjoyed it. I could have overlooked that but she was—she was trying to take down good people too. THAT I couldn't overlook. I wanted a way to show you and Kenzi how sorry I was about your brother, I finally found an opportunity."

"You-Lachlan?" I asked through a clenched jaw, a loaded question that could very well determine my next action.

"Lachlan? No, he was going to be family. Not to mention he was a little more like me than you care to admit." He gives me this grin with his eyebrows raised as if expecting me to agree. "I did really feel bad about those texts I had to send you. I got to him too late, I swear I tried but he was already dead. I couldn't just call it in, I had no reason to be there but I knew if you got those texts you'd go and then Bo would follow."

"You were never going to hurt us, were you?" I lean back a little, a realization that causes a little wave of confliction within.

"No, Lauren." His head hangs again as he sighs and I know I'm staring at a killer, I know he's confessing everything to me but I just can't help this small part of me that cares for him. A small part of me that hears his words and actually make sense of them. A small part of me that relates. A part deep down that I've hid from who has shared the same thoughts.

"So you never touched the kids? Any of them?" my brow furrows trying to draw a line and connect the dots. Each word coming from his mouth tying up another lose end.

"Oh God no," he rolls his eyes and takes two steps forward. "That was all Rainer's deal. He had a fuckin' mission." He snorts in disgust. "That whole only kids and adulterers and religious bullshit was all him. Sick fuck got held under the water a little too long, came back up thinking he was on a fucking mission from God." He can't help but laugh. "Believe that fucking shit?"

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you've got for me?" he looks baffled that, that is all I can come up with but honestly I just don't have anything else to say. I look down at the ground as if the right words to say will be there. As if instructions to the next action I should take would be scribbled out for me, but there's nothing other than dirt. My eyes move along the floor to Bo, she's still lying there as still as ever but still no blood-good sign.

"You've been doing this for years, no one ever suspected. Why blow the whistle now?" He's too focused on me now, I can't draw on him without risking him shooting first but if I get him talking then maybe I can buy myself an extra second or two.

"What?"

"CSIS, reporting the department and Trick. Why go through the trouble, why risk drawing attention to yourself?"

"Take care of all of that myself?" his eyebrow raises as he gets his trademark smirk and shakes his head the way he does. For a mere moment I forget where we are, forget our circumstances. "Well geez Lauren, they are pretty stupid but I'm pretty sure they would have gotten a little suspicious when me and Bo were the only ones left."

"Yeah, got a point there." I chuckle and scoot to my right just a little.

"I had been following the sick fuck for a while, figured out his pattern just was always a little too slow to grab his ass. Then finally he came into arms reach but Tamsin had saw something she wasn't supposed to. She didn't know it was me, thought it could have been Dyson but she just wouldn't stop digging like a dog with a bone. I thought calling in CSIS would take care of all my problems. Distract Tamsin, put away everyone and stop their little terrorist deal among other things and of course they'd have no choice but to help with the murders."

"Didn't quite work out the way you hoped." I say under my breath, suddenly freezing as he looks directly at me. I try to look calm, like I'm just sitting here but I think he saw me moving.

"It's had its up and downs. Rainer's dead, no more dead children is always a plus. Ninety percent of the department's corruption is taken care of along with a few others."

"That's not good enough."

"Who says?" he snaps, brow furrowed.

"I know you Hale, you're like me in more ways than I care to admit. Ninety percent isn't good enough for me and it isn't good enough for you." I scoot a little more toward Bo as he turns his back to me, he's looking down at Dyson's body.

"It would have been." He whispers, voice cracking slightly. "It would have been enough this time."

"W-why?" for the first time I dare to take my eyes off of him, glancing over at Bo. I'm not looking for blood or even if she's moved, no this time I'm looking for her gun. But I don't see it, perhaps she's laying on it. Shit.

"I was the last of five boys, my mother had died of an overdose when I was four and my father was corner rat absent so much we were sent to foster care. Haven't seen any of my siblings since I was six, typical cliché." He snorts, letting his head hang. "Doesn't matter though, Bo is more family to me than they ever were." He spins around to face me, tears in his eyes. "You don't know how happy I was when I saw it was you. I never dreamed in a million years they'd send you to me. God, it was amazing. It was like a personal thank you for my work from the universe. You don't know how hard it was to pretend I didn't know you." He smiles softly, tears slipping down his cheeks. "Then I saw Bo fall for you and she didn't just fall for you but you made her a better person, made her believe in herself just like you had me. Lachlan was this mixture of you and me and then there was sweet Sarah." He swallows hard, using the back of his hand to wipe away the tears. "A—and Lil' Mama. Oh God," his voice gives out, I can see his resolve melting away with each second passing.

"Hale, listen to me she is we—"

"She was my salvation!" he snaps abruptly, a step toward me. The anger in his eyes becoming more and more pronounced despite the tears. So much so I'm almost at the point of throwing caution to the wind. To see who is faster between the two of us. "Ninety percent was going to be enough because I was going to get her! I was going to get my family! You don't know how much I mourned Lachlan-like he was already my brother. How scared I was when the sick fuck had you. I almost took Dyson out myself then because of his stupidity. His need to best you that cost life after life." He sniffles again, hands to his head but suddenly I'm very much aware of the fact he's holding a loaded weapon.

"These last killings-they were all—"

"About freeing myself! Freeing us! I made every kill quick. I only wanted my family! I deserve it after everything I have done!" he comes another two steps forward and it takes every ounce of control within me not to move away. "You think I wanted to kill that-that female like Cassidy? It was so disrespectful to Cassidy. You think that was fun for me?!"

"N—no." I shake my head, heart beginning to pound within my chest. A realization that this can only end one of two ways.

"I had to! I had to tie everything to Dyson! That was-no one close to you could have inflicted that amount of pain on you or Lil' Mama-I had to make it that way. I had to!"

"I—it's okay." I nod, tears building in my own eyes. No matter how hard I look at him I don't see a monster, I see the man who's supposed to be my future brother in law. I see a man who is lost and scared, a man whose taken words of a careless woman to heart. I watch him falling apart in front of me and I keep remembering everything I said during that lecture, how angry I was-how hateful.

"We were supposed to be a family! This wasn't how this story was supposed to end!"

"It doesn't have to end this way."

"Yeah?" He chuckles indignantly. "I had this all planned in my head and now-it's just all gone to shit."

"This can be—"

"Fixed?!" he screams another large step toward me and I know I should try to get the gun, he's close enough now. "How? You're just going to ignore this? Ignore that it's me?!"

"W—why not?" I feel the tears slip down my cheeks.

"Wh—what?" he takes a single step back.

"Dyson is dead and everything points to him." The words sound so cold passing my lips they even surprise me. So convincing I almost believe them. "I was the only one who saw you shoot him." He looks behind himself down at Dyson's body once more. "Bo didn't see you. She doesn't know you had anything to do with this."

"How do you know that?" he looks over his shoulder at me.

"Because you're too good for that." I answer, eyes locking with his own. This wasn't a lie, no one would have ever seen this coming. "Backup will be here soon, and you need to decide how this plays out. Either our family walks out of here and it's all over or it's all over in a very different way."

"I wish this story had a happy ending." His eyes leave me and he's looking at the ground-or Dyson-or Kenzi—I can't be sure.

"You don't believe me?" I believe my own words-maybe that's because I'm not completely convinced I'm lying. "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Th—they do Lauren." He nods and I can hear the tears approaching for him again. "There's only one problem."

"Wh-what?"

"Without Kenzi—there is nothing." I hear the change in his voice, notice the way his body tenses-I start to reach for my weapon but whether it be I'm too slow or I hesitate he's turned around gun pointed at me. A shot fired and I'm on the ground before I've even had time to grab my own.

I find myself staring up at the ceiling coughing up a mouthful of blood and all I can think is this is a shit way to die. Choking to death on your own blood-then I remember its Hale who shot me. He won't let me die like this-he most likely just missed.

I turn my head to the left letting the blood spill out as I watch his feet approach. Through teary eyes I look up at him. But I don't see a broken man with tears running down his cheek and a shaky hand holding a gun. No, I see the young boy I met so many years ago. The lost and broken boy needing guidance. The boy who needed help and instead I gave him a reason to kill-an excuse. It was right after Cassidy's murder and I was so angry-so full of hate. So many things I said that day-words I would never dare utter again.

I look up into his eyes and give him a slight nod as I feel the tears slip down my temples. I take responsibility for this-I take full responsibility so I will take the consequences that come with it.

I feel my body tense when I hear the next shot, I feel myself begin to stop breathing. I feel my life slipping away from me. My eyes falling from his, down his face, his neck his chest where blood is flowing down from right shoulder.

Blinking several times I watch as he turns his back to me—why am I still alive?

"Kenzi?" his words a broken sob.

"We-are **not** your family." Her icy snarl reaches my ears but I don't look up.

I don't have time.

There's another shot and I can't help the way my body jerks.

The third shot comes and I can't help the way my eyes squeeze shut.

I feel drops of blood spray across my face and my heart stops for a second. For a second I'm sure I'm not alive anymore. I swear I'm not.

Though the drop of his gun and then his body seems to bring me back—or at least remind me that I'm not dead.

Slowly I open my eyes and look over-Hale's body lying next to me.

Tearing my eyes from him I roll onto my side so I can see my sister just as she drops the gun. Her left hand going up to her shoulder where I had shot her. She pulls her shirt away just enough for me to see that I was right—she did have on my vest.

"Thank God." I whisper to myself as I feel the tears begin to fall freely from my eyes.

Her legs seem to give out as she falls to her knees, hand still gripping her shoulder. But she isn't crying-no tears, she just stares at him. I want to get up and hold her but I really don't think I can move. I let my head fall to the right-Bo still hasn't moved a muscle. I suppose that's something else to be thankful for. She didn't have to see Dyson die. She didn't have to watch Hale die. Didn't have to pull the trigger herself.

I hear the sirens approaching outside but it brings me no comfort-not this time.

I let my head rest properly, staring up at the strange dark, vastness of this ceiling. Question after question running around my mind.

Why I survived yet again when-I don't deserve to. How Kenzi was able to pull the trigger? How she was able kill him—not just wound him. Would I have been able to if it had been Bo? What will I leave out when I answer the million questions? How will Kenzi get over this? How will Bo? How much of what Dyson said was true? How much of what Kenzi said was true? Will Bo be able to forgive Kenzi? Will she be able to forgive me?

But most of all-what happens now?


	17. Epilogue

_**A.N.**_ And here is the end. Sorry for the inconsistent updating near the end RL has been a bitch. Thank you all for sticking in there and I'm glad you all liked the twist.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, favorite, follow and a special thank you to all those who reviewed to let me know what you were thinking/feeling.

A special heartfelt thank you to InevitablyWicked19 who will shy away from the credit, but whether it was proof-reading, writing occasionally, helping with ideas, letting me complain or even talking me into trying AU in the first place. Without you this story wouldn't be here, the credit is as much yours as mine. Thank you.

Pokie

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_**Epilogue**_

_**(-2 Months Later-)**_

_._

_._

_._

_**Official Statement of Mackenzie Malikov pertaining to the events on the afternoon of Nov. 28th (Transcribed from original audio)**_

_**MM:**_ _I had done some investigation on my own which had led me to the fact that Dyson (Thornwood) had ties to the factory. I had intended to check it out on my own later that night, but I had received message from Hale (Santiago) that Bo (Dennis) had discovered something. The message stated that he would miss lunch and I had gotten this sick feeling where they were going so I went and I was right. _

_**OFFICER: **__Tell me, what happened when you arrived?_

_**MM:**_ _I arrived slightly behind Hale (Santiago), he was just getting out of his car. He told me to wait outside, he was going in to back up Bo. I did for a bit but then I had observed Dyson (Thornwood) pull up. He looked highly agitated and frantic, he practically ran into the building. I followed him in. _

_**OFFICER:**_ _Back up. CSIS Agent Lewis stated she only noticed three cars when she arrived. How did you arrive at the scene? _

_**MM:**_ _I was dropped off in a cab. He took me half way down the area. Wouldn't go any further in, superstitious old man who believes the place is haunted. So I walked after that. Only a few hundred feet. _

_**OFFICER: **__And when you went inside? What happened then?_

_**MM: **__It didn't take long to find them. I heard Bo and Hale talking about Dyson. Saying something about how he was involved in the recent killings. That Bo had found several links to something, that was when I was approaching. Bo had saw me so she was distracted. Dyson (Thornwood) had come out from behind a wall and shot Hale three times in the back. I believe one actually go his arm though. Dyson (Thornwood) hadn't noticed I was there. He had walked forward and said something to Bo (Dennis). I don't remember what now. Something to the effect that he was innocent. _

_**OFFICER**__: Continue. __**(Encouraged after thirty second silence)**_

_**MM: **__It was too late. I was all too late at this point. _

_**OFFICER:**_ _Meaning?_

_**MM: **__Dyson (Thornwood) was like a caged animal. He was backed into a corner. He tried to calm Bo (Dennis) but she already drew on him, she fired once too hitting him somewhere center mass but he didn't go down. Instead he fired three into her chest. She went down hard, knocked her out I think. He went over to her and hit her head once on the ground after he turned her onto her stomach. I'm not sure why. I had taken the opportunity of him being distracted to grab Hale's (Santiago) backup piece. We engaged in a brief standoff. _

_**OFFICER:**_ _That was when Agent Lewis arrived?_

_**MM:**_ _Yes. She arrived and saw us, there was some confusion at the time. _

_**OFFICER:**_ _She shot you twice in the chest?_

_**MM:**_ _In the shoulder yes, she was aware I was wearing her vest though. But still one of the bullets had gone through. I don't know anything that happened after._

_**OFFICER:**_ _Until you killed (Hale) Santiago. One shot through the shoulder. One in the chest. And what would ultimately be the kill shot, through his head._

_**MM: **__Yes. Until then. I don't know what you want me to say. He was standing over my sister (Agent Lauren Lewis) with a gun pointed at her head after having shot her in the chest already. I shot once through the shoulder which caused him to turn around. When he didn't drop the weapon, I shot again in the chest, I missed the heart. _

_**OFFICER: **__There is no indication he (Hale Santiago) tried to draw on you again. How would you explain the kill shot? _

_**MM:**_ _Excessive force. __**(laugh.)**_

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.

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"I thought you were done with that."

"I am." I lie looking up from the bunch of stapled papers in my hand, eyes moving up to the window I've been standing in front of for far too long.

"Well considering you were supposed to be grabbing some paper for us to play Pictionary-"

"I was-am. I just got a little distracted."

"For thirty minutes."

"It hasn't been," I pause as I turn to look at her. "Has it really?"

"Oh yeah, Sarah wanted to come get you herself but considering she is in full hormone mode I thought I better retrieve you."

"Retrieve me?" I chuckle slightly, giving her a soft smile.

"Cute, huh?" she raises an eyebrow and gives me a soft smile of her own as she creeps closer.

"Makes it sound like you're a dog." I can't help but roll my eyes at her as my smile widens just a bit. She always seemed to make me feel calm, to be at peace even when there was no reason to be.

"I'm okay with that."

"Really?" my own eyebrow raises more at her devious smirk than the question itself.

"Yep-wait," she pauses with this semiserious look that is completely void considering the smirk has yet to leave her lips. She's by my side now but doesn't lean against me, instead her left hand finds my lower back in a comforting sort of way. "Will there be bellyrubs?"

"W—what?" I can't help but laugh at her goofiness, the way her smile widens when she hears me laugh. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Well now that you mention it Doctor Lewis," her devious smirk transitions to one of a devilish nature as she begins to lean against me, right hand reaching out and pulling the packet of papers from me with little protest on my part. "I think I am due for a checkup."

"What about Pictionary?" I smirk leaning into her just a bit more.

"Damn." She laughs as a wave of defeat comes over her features, a sigh following as she rests her forehead on my shoulder.

"You're the one who wanted to play."

"I know." She whines against me, her arms lazily wrapping around my waist.

I find my arms wrapping around her a little tighter than I meant to. The side of my face resting against her head, the scent of her shampoo making me smile just a bit more.

Never have I been proven so wrong about a person as I have been with her.

She had her faltering moments in the beginning but she for the most part has been amazing. She went to every hearing of mine, of Kenzi's on top of her own. She stayed unwavering through every emotional rollercoaster that followed. She stayed through everything and never once asked for anything in return. She never pushed a relationship, never even asked. And now for the past month she has been playing house with me, helping me take care of Sarah and Kenzi to a degree.

Those brave moments I have from time to time, I look back over the past year and remember my first impressions of her. Think of all the opinions I had about her and her character and I don't think I've ever felt as ashamed about something as I have about this.

I close my eyes and smile into her hair as I place a soft kiss that earns a quiet giggle.

She pulls back slowly but the embrace stays. Her eyes meet mine the way they always do and I can't help but feel safe.

It was her who kept me sane through funeral after funeral, through deposition after deposition. It was her who kept me grounded when I felt like the world was spinning out of control. It was her who kept me hopeful when I felt the word had no meaning.

It's her who has kept me alive.

My right hand reaches up, curled fingers gently brushing stray hair out of her face. My eyes idly wandering onto the fresh scar on her temple.

She's never really talked about what happened in there that day beyond the depositions and then it was all general. Kenzi's story has changed several times as well. Part of me wants to know—know what really happened in there that day. Wants to know why we could never locate the taxi Kenzi said she took. Wants to know why Bo is always so evasive. Wants to know why Bo never shed a single tear for Dyson. Wants to know why Kenzi lies to me when I've asked her about it.

But then I remember that day and suddenly I don't want to know anything at all.

"Where'd you go?" she asks softly, her hands sliding to my waist.

I smile gently and for a mere moment I think about telling her but in this moment it doesn't seem as bad anymore. So instead I lean in a bit more stealing a quick kiss that she smiles into and when I pull back, her eyes opening into mine—I forget all about where I had wandered off to.

"Nowhere, I'm right here."


End file.
